Crush on this guy

I'm almost sixteen (in a couple months). I don't think I'm specifically ugly but I do have hang-ups about everything from my chin to my nose to my thighs (lol). So I'm not ugly, but I feel really un-special next to my close friend. She's slim and pretty, but I think we're sort of in league (like neither is extraordinarily like keira knightley or some other beautiful celeb). Only difference is next to her I feel kinda dull (she has this boyfriend who is serious with her nearly two years anniversary) and I know it seems desperate but I just want the same; I want a guy. Like  i know its desperate but i'm sick of liking someone and being too damn shy to say so or the wrong guy askin me out. I know i have like ten or twenty years ahead of me before it becomes really 'important' as it were but i go crazy when i have a crush coz usually I know I'll not say anything. And i kinda feel like, well, it worked for her, whys it not working for me??

I mean, to tell the truth, not many people i know actually have a boyfriend. Evn the older ones (like 18-19) arent in relationships. But I've been liking this guy for a while now (on and off) who is almost like a brother in the sense that I've known him for about 9 years (we used to play lego together lol) and i dont know if he feels the same. Sometimes I think I might have a chance cuz he laughs at my jokes and texts me but then I get sooo nervous thinking about what I'd do if he found out. I'd be so embarrased if he didnt feel the same. Also recently he's become more popular with girls...so i stand less of a chance! Arghgh!!

Any thoughts? much appreciated ;)

Do you like him? Does he like you (even as a friend?) Then there's a chance. Dive in, take the plunge. Honestly, the worst that could happen would he would get weirded out and say no, and stop being your friend. Once you realize that anyone who would do that isn't worth your time anyway, you realize that to not ask would just mean one thing down the line. Regret. Ask him already! A date, something simple and fun, and see where it from there. Knock off the hang ups on your friend, because you're you, and she's her, and you have just as many things amazing about you as she does about her. Maybe it's her looks that are special? Well, looks fade. What about your humor, intelligence, personality? Those don't fade, they just get better with time!

So ask him out, take the chance !

I really want to tell you GO FOR IT! but I also remember what it was to be 16 (I'm 25) So my advice is try to become better friends with this guy.  Become more involved in each others lives, find out if you can connect with him on a personal emotional level.  In my experience when you spend a lot of time together things progress if he feels the same, or they don't, and then at least you're still good friends. 

We are really good friends. I mean, we have a whole lot of history - I'm british but he's half british half thai and we were both born in england but met in thailand (we moved there when i was 1 year old and came back to england about 5 yers ago). So we both grew up in an entirely different culture and we can relate to each other. I know that sounds a little dorky cuz i k tnow a lot of guys have this thing about being sensitive (it's not 'cool' or whatnot).

I'd say he's my oldest friend (who I still see regularly) and having all these memories has certainly made our friendship stronger. I think we're both shy, and sometimes I get abit jealous when my friends are like "Ooh is he single?" or when he tells me about a girl he liked or thought was pretty. I'm always dying for him to admit who he likes but I think he'd never say anything unless I told him straight out what I thought. I might have a chance...but I just don't know. Is there any easy way of getting a guy to know you like him? Like, a particular strategy?! Lol XD

thanks for the replies :D

If you want to be subtle: Get slowly and progressively more snuggly and flirty with him, find excuses to touch him (picking imaginary lint off his shirt, or out of his hair, etc.). Be really excited/happy about something and "spontaneously" give him a big hug, then hold it for about a half second too long. Fall asleep against his shoulder when you're sitting next to each other at the movies or on the bus. Get all cute and kittenish when you're "napping" on him.

If you want to be a little faster: stay out as late as you possibly can with him, somewhere. There's something about 3 am that takes away one's inhibitions, and may make you bold enough to be direct. If that cannot be arranged, a good way to "slide into" your declaration of interest would be "I find it so annoying that all my friends ask if you're single!" He'll say something like "why?", then you look down and look shy and then look up in his eyes and say, "well, I guess I'm a bit jealous". Etc., etc.

Do NOT let yourself feel inferior to your close friend. That's just a losing game all around! It's perfectly normal to have hang-ups about "every part of yourself" at this age. Doesn't mean you're not gorgeous. Trust me on this, you will someday look at pictures of your 15-year-old self and ask yourself "Why didn't I see then how lovely I was? Why did I needlessly deprive myself of confidence?"

Good luck. Sounds like you have very good chances, since you've known this boy so long and still see each other a lot.  :)

Hehe the other day there was a power cut and the lights/interenet went off...I was upstairs and he was staying with us (goes to boarding school, visits at weekends) and was on his laptop in his room we were MSNing...so we both went downstairs to find out why the whole street went black. LOL, it would've been perfect, we got to lighting candles...:D but we also started burning spaghetti and my mother smelt it and ran down, afraid of fire...

so she came down, informed us it was 11:45 and we had work to do the next day...

Thanks for all these replies. I guess the comparisons with me and my friend are just because she got it so easy - she didn't even have to ask her guy or flirt with him - he dumped his girlfrend at the time when he found out my frend liked him just so he could be with her. I used to be jealous, because he was really quite good looking and funny and really nice but now I'm happy because it's pretty good for her if she's found someone she really cares about (enough to stay with him for two years at least).

Ooh yes, 'napping' sounds perfectly innocent! I tried that once...he'd didn't actually say anything...I think he geniunely thought I was asleep (LOL yah right) but he must have been like "HELP!!" secretly....

oh no...

sorry to post AGAIN but im freaking out!!! i just told him that my friend (not the one with the boyfriend) thinks he's hot. He didn't really say much...he just asked ME what HE should do about it!!! well what do i know??! anyway i just said 'er, well one of them is single, one of them isnt and im just yor dorky friend,' to which he didn't agree with but didn't elaborate...

He's being so mysterious....!

I'm wondering whether i could txt without looking desperate/stalker-like???

It's quite possible he likes you too. I would text him and ask if he's done anything yet, and if not, if he wants to hang out sometime.

It's his subtle way of asking how you feel about him. You forgot the second part of the conversation!!! The correct response would have been, "well, I think I'd have a hard time if you got a girlfriend. (Look down, all shy)... I think I'd maybe be a bit jealous."

That was a total scope-out, girl. Don't blow it! :)

Alternate statement if you're feeling bolder: "I don't think they'd appreciate you like I would" (don't forget to be all shy - sometimes "accidentally blurting it out" helps.)

i agree with trustwomen, i think it is his way of subtly asking you.

go for it!!!! =)

Mwahahaha...lol thats my evil 'plotting something' laugh. ^_~

So, really? He might like me..?

My other friend (the one I who thinks he's hot) is sorta egging me on a lot...but I have a feeling she might like him too :S! She did say she'd have a crush on him cuz he's hot but that she's not 'looking for a guy' at the moment and is trying to focus elsewhere! Fair enough I guess, but I do sort of feel a bit like I'm 'stealing' him by admitting I like him...

Hmm so i planned a trip to the cinema with her and my other friend and it happens that he will be there too...I guess I'll just have to see then? Lol, it's really weird...I've never seen him react to girls likign him, so this should be interestingg.....??

I just want to remind you, take all of our advice with a grain of salt, the last thing you should do is act against your nature.  Don't become someone else to make him like you. 

That being said... I agree with trustwomen, in two ways. 

1) if you have time to move slowly, gradually increase your physical interactions with him, lean on him, touch him, hug him (Although I don't remember it, my now boyfriend told me that he started liking me in jr. high when I would hug him everyday in PE)

2) If you are forced to be more aggressive (before your friend snatches him up) don't be too subtle, as it's often lost on high school boys who don't know how to read girls. 

Good luck, we're all rooting for you!

I say definately go for it. I currently like a guy, and I'm asking myself the same questions you are.

But you have to think about this. If he is your friend, he cares about you. If you tell him you like him and he doesn't feel the same way, he won't shut you out of his life and ignore you/make fun of you. When one of my guy friends said he liked me but I didn't feel the same way, I became closer to him because I was flattered that he cared that much about me.

So let's do this together - go all out and chase our guys. Because if you go for it and it doesn't work, oh well, move on, continue being friends. But if you are too afraid to try, you could live on always wondering, what if he was the one? Go for him girl. :)

I remember when I was about your age I had a mad crush on one of the guys in my circle of friends.  Everyone knew and some of our friends suggested that I ask him out.  Well, I did.  He said no and I was mortified.  For about a day!  I absolutely turned red when he said no and I wanted to die.  I did everything I could to avoid him until the next day at lunch when he came up to me. 

He asked if he could talk to me in private and we went and sat at an empty table.  I still remember what he said to me, "Look, I didn't mean to make you feel bad.  I think you're cute and I like hanging out with you but, I don't think we'd make a good couple.  Can we still be friends and hang out?" 

I quickly got over my embarrassment and things eventually went back to normal.  It wasn't immediate, it did take some time.  By the time we graduated however, it was kind of "our little joke".

It really can't hurt to ask him out.  It would be much better to ask and have him say no than to have him go after one of your friends and wonder if that could have been you.

 

Thanks again all ;)

sroescoe, im not sure if she's gonna make a move. But she knows I like him, so i dont think she will...

and the physical interaction thing would definately make a difference...I just get sooo shy when any guy comes near me lol...

muttlover, cheers ;) hope it works for u and ur guy too.

emk21, I know, I really don't wanna 'do nothing' about it and just wonder. It's been pretty much 5 or 6 years since I first had a 'crush' on him (bearing in mind i was about 10 or 11 so it wasn't a biiiig deal then)...but recently im just like "Ack! time to get a MOVE on!" lol...

theres a new pic in my profile...its one of him (and me too haha)..so yeah...;)

Oh you are both just adorable. I hope it works out for you!

("And they caaalll it.... puppy loooove...")

Original Post by r2r2:



So, really? He might like me..?

check out this link! it might help! it's about what he says to you via another medium other than verbal-body language. its bloody interesting!

http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/roma ntic_body.htm

Keep in mind though that teen boys are among the most oblivious of all creatures under the sun. So don't be TOO subtle. :)

I say go all out and make a move! try hanging out with him all alone.