Ever have a crush on a heavy person?

Theres a guy I work with whose a little on the heavy side, but I have a little crush on.. I dont know if its just a phase, but something, probably his humor is attractive.  I can tell he likes me, but I dont want to show anything right now, he's really nice and funny! Is it shallow just to be attracted to funny? Anywho, I been watching the calories now and feel like I've lost weight but not checking the scale... Im gonna limit myself to one bottle of ale on the weekends. wooo hoo!

Geeze Louise!  Wouldn't you feel awful if some one shunned you because you were a little on the heavy side?  I'd much rather date some one that has a great personality and a great sense of humor, than the snob that thinks his **** don't stink. 

Agreed.  I don't think its shallow to like someone because they make you laugh, that's normal.  I think it's shallow to feel that you liking someone heavy is a phase.  And if you are heavy yourself, who are you to judge?

Not shallow at all to fall for ones' PERSONALITY. Actually that's the opposite of shallow. :P If you just wanted him for his nice a**..then ehhh..maybe a bit shallow. ;) :P

I've had crushes on heavy guys. I found different qualities that I liked about them, obviously their personalities, one guy had beautiful, beautiful eyes. There's more  factors to a person other then weight. It's just most people in today's society are in fact, shallow..so it's very rare to hear about any other case.

I say go for it! Ask him out on a date. He sounds like a great guy. What woman doesn't like a man with a sense of humor? *swoons.

Did I mention that one of my celebrity crushes is Jack Black? ;)

I love this-I have never fallen for the "good looking" guy-never have.  I have always been attracted to personality more than anything.  In high school I tried a date with the "handsome" one in my class and I never had such a boring time!  My husband is a very talented musician and probably the sweetest most patient man I have ever met- we are going on twenty years together!  Heavy?  who sees that when a guy has very desirable inner qualities?  Notice how they can become more and more handsome over time?  I do!

I'll second that Jack Black comment!

I dated a guy who was 260. He was/is an awesome person. Things did not work out...but his size wasn't the issue (at all) Are you worried about other people judging ? I say....who cares what anyone thinks? Follow your heart.

I think your situation sounds exactly like mine was last year.  I developed a monstrous crush on this unbelievable funny, slightly-heavy boy.  We've been dating over a year and I find him to be just about the sexiest thing in existence.

i dated a guy who was a little bigger.  he wasn't fat by any stretch, but he had a little extra.  he was a tall guy and barrel-chested (he was Kanawage FN - Mohawk to you americans.  typical big torso).  he told me he'd gained weight over the previous year; i was still skinny (5'8", probably 125).  i had this vision of him gaining 20 pounds a year.  i loved him the way he was, but i didn't want to attach myself permanently and have to watch him get bigger and bigger.

that may be superficial.  the truth is, i often wish i'd been more evolved about it.  but if i ran into him tomorrow and he was 300 pounds, any regret i have now would evaporate pretty fast.

Yeah I've had a small crush on a guy who is heavier. He's awesome and fun, but I it will remain a crush because I have a boyfriend. I'm always happy to see him though, and it's great hanging out with him, but he lives a very unhealthy lifestyle. Drinks a lot and smokes. Both of which I'm trying to quit. Dating a heavier guy wouldn't be a problem for me, but his lifestyle would be.

I'm usually attracted to guys that are heavier, or at least have a little bit of tummy pudge.

They never seem to be into me though! :(

Yes! I love it when guys are slightly heavy. I've dated several thick guys. But I couldn't get serious with someone who was extremely overweight (not because of what other people would think/say, but because I would be afraid for his health as we got older).

I had a little crush on a rather heavy guy once... It was only a crush because I wasn't emotionally available for him. Now, he's got a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend so we're good. :P

I wanted to say that falling for someone's personality isn't shallow at all! My current boyfriend is very thin but he was born with a birth defect so he isn't what most people consider good looking. It doesn't matter to me because I see him for who he is, and that makes him attractive to me. Many people don't understand me, but I just tell myself I am better than them! LOL.

i saw jack black on keith olberman last night and i thought "dang, he's cute!"  i like either average skinny or average chubby boys.  i really like johnny knoxville's body too.  i think really big people can be cute for sure but i'd be scared about all the health stuff too.  also i dont like it when people look too perfect.  i dont know, but sometimes a person can be so stereotypically good looking that it turns me off.  i dont know if that makes sense to anyone else, but whatever.

"i dont know, but sometimes a person can be so stereotypically good looking that it turns me off.  i dont know if that makes sense to anyone else, but whatever."

It makes sense to me. My boyfriend has a friend who is drop dead gorgeous and I've told him that, but he doesn't feel threatened by that because I told him that his friend is so good looking that I could never be with a guy like that. He's just too much for me! lol. I'm glad I'm not the only one. :P

to alot of people, myself included a sense of humor is one of the most important things I seem to find in a relationship.  my hubby doesn't always think of himself as funny, but to me he cracks me up.  I have never been attracted to a man's looks first, pretty guys just didn't do it for me.  as a result I found my soul mate. we were both on the chubby side, when we met and have gained weight over the years, and are also losing it now together.  I think it is sometimes worry over what others think of our choices that keeps us from having true happiness.  I am glad I thought for myself and did not let others opinions shape my choice in my soul mate.  I look at some of my friends now, divorced 3 or more times, I realize that alot of them wanted to be the pretty couple now they are paying for it.  I AM NOT SAYING THAT ALL PRETTY PEOPLE ARE SHALLOW!!! THEY ARE NOT.  WE JUST NEED TO STOP JUDGING PEOPLE BY THE WAY THEY LOOK OR HOW WHITE THEIR TEETH ARE OR OTHER SHALLOW THINGS.  

Original Post by swamp_rat:

Agreed.  I don't think its shallow to like someone because they make you laugh, that's normal.  I think it's shallow to feel that you liking someone heavy is a phase.  And if you are heavy yourself, who are you to judge?

 well spoken...

Lets clear this up really quick…an INITIAL attraction is a physical one…no matter what , because INITIALLY you DON’T KNOW THE PERSON so how could it be anything but that?...SO all of this” I’m attracted to a person’s personality” is not true until you actually spend time around them... Just wanted to make that clear.  If you meet a person and you’re not attracted to them physically, but then after a while you begin to really like them…then that’s the real attraction.  Now…the key is to figure out whether you are attracted to the person’s personality or are you attracted to their character, because personality can change, but your character is pretty much static. 

That being said….I have been physically and emotionally attracted women that were heavier than me, but to be honest…I really don’t care…if I like them I like them…no matter the size…

If I don’t like them, and it’s because they are heavy or skinny and don’t take car of themselves…then I don’t like them.  If I don’t like them because they are too skinny or heavy and it’s not a physical attraction, but I get to know the person, and find out there is more than meets the eye…then so be it.  I’ve noticed that Americans are very very superficial.  I never have discriminated based on race or physical framework; however, I am initially attracted to a female that has a “full” body.  But if someone comes along, and they are 5’5 110 and skinny…that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t get to know them and eventually feel something.

My preference is from 5’3-5’9  @5’3 125-130 LBS…and at 5’9 155-175… I’m a very athletic person so I would like someone to share adventures with, and if that means you’re not in good enough shape to do so, then I might not be attracted to you…whether skinny or big.  If you are attracted to the guy…then so be it.  And to be honest…I feel like it’s the heavier guys who have more respect and love for women than the slimmer more fit guys.

Shoot man…I met an Alien the other day…she was green, but I was attracted to her personality…not the yellow crap that was ooooozing out of her ear. C’mon….

actually, Eddie... I don't agree.

Oh, a FIRST Reaction is based almost entirely on how a person looks... physically, style, whether they're well-kept (face clean, hair neat, etc.)

But.. does that mean a FIRST reaction is an INITIAL attraction? I wouldn't agree with that. Sometimes an initial attraction happens after you've met them, after you know them, etc.

I got to know my wife before I met her. We hung out online. At first, she was one name among many, some chick reading my journal, but then we got to talk, and then we got to talk more, and talk became a crush and only then did we meet.

Original Post by hkellick:

actually, Eddie... I don't agree.

Oh, a FIRST Reaction is based almost entirely on how a person looks... physically, style, whether they're well-kept (face clean, hair neat, etc.)

But.. does that mean a FIRST reaction is an INITIAL attraction? I wouldn't agree with that. Sometimes an initial attraction happens after you've met them, after you know them, etc.

I got to know my wife before I met her. We hung out online. At first, she was one name among many, some chick reading my journal, but then we got to talk, and then we got to talk more, and talk became a crush and only then did we meet.

 hahaha...I can admit when someone finds a loop-whole...I never did online stuff so I totally forgot about that....you are correct...very good observation.

that's the modern thing now huh?...to meet online....

Ewww...no.  I can't do fat for some reason.  It doesn't matter what kind of personality that have, just can't do it.

As far as the order of attraction, I think the internet has changed dating so much that comparing couples who met online and ones who met "traditionally" is like apples and oranges.

My husband and I met online and knew each other really well before we ever exchanged photos.  I was crazy about him before I saw him and luckily I'm just as physically attracted to him.  I often wonder, though, if the physical attraction hadn't been there, what would have happened.  I don't think physical attraction is everything or completely independent of everything else, but it's important.

On topic - my husband is probably considered heavy.  He's tall and broad shouldered and barrel chested and hot.  We're working together to cultivate a healthier lifestyle and he's a great coach and partner.