i am crying right now...

i told my boyfriend, who I love very much, that I needed time apart from him. My condition is such that I don't think I am ready to be in a relationship. My insecurities, my eating disorder, everything is just fueled more by having a boyfriend. The problem is not him. It's me. But having him there fuels my eating disorder even more, because my mind keeps telling me to get thinner and thinner for a guy. I need to get better first. I need to love myself first, before I can love anyone else. I am crying so hard right now. I need some comforting words right now..

It's ok. Your first priority right now should be getting healthy. If you recover, he will always have you and you two can be together. You just have to beat this demon first. He will understand and he will give you the time that you need if he loves you as much as you say you love him(and I'm just going to assume that he does). You did the right thing and you know that you need to do this for yourself. And ultimately, good luck. I wish you the best. 

It is so cliche but when people say, "this too shall pass", it is true.  I can assume that I am a lot older than you but still remember how difficult it was trying to become the woman that I am today while balancing all the other pressures from dating, school, family - and, for you and many others, health problems.  One day, you will be able to look back and be proud of yourself for getting healthy first.  A wonderful man will fall in love with the confident, healthy you and it will be perfect.  You are right to put your self first at this time and he should support that.  I hope you can talk to your mother about this because I have a daughter who is almost 18 and I would hate for her to hurt this much without being able to come to me.  I wish you the best of luck.  Take a breath, give yourself a hug and grab on to that strength inside you that will get you through this.  

The fact that you were strong enough to take time away from someone you love just proves that you do indeed love yourself and that you are a very strong person. It takes alot of strength to leave someone you love. You're devoting time to heal yourself, you should be proud of yourself because not many people have that kind of strength (I know I don't).

Here *hugs*. You only get 1 life... do what is best for you.

*more hugs*

wow, strong move! Only strong people can decide on such a thing and this shows that you have the potential to overcome it all...

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. While I was crying, after reading your replies, I felt so much better. This is the reason why I love CC so much. People are so genuinely kind and helpful. Thank you again.

^just to answer someone's question above, I am 22 yrs old (so is my bf), and my bf and I were in a serious relationship (we want to spend the rest of our lives together). He was very understanding and said that he will be willing to do anything that I needed and wanted. He said that if I ever need to talk to him, that he would be there. I am very lucky to have someone like him. But I am also so glad that I made the decision that I made yesterday. I woke up feeling stronger and ready to tackle this demon. I felt that I wasn't being true to myself and to him with my issues. I want to be the strong, confident, independent woman, and I respect my bf and the relationship enough that I want to get better before I give my whole heart to him and the relationship. 

Again, thank you all. I will make it through. And for the others who are dealing with similar issues, let me just tell you that we will make it! We are stronger than this!!

well if there were only one word to describe you it would be 'inspirational'.  good luck.

I had kind of a similar situation, having problems I needed to resolve before being in a relationship.  Took a couple of months off from relationship, got better, continued relationship and now am married to him.  The right guy will support you and understand.