Curious: How young is too young?

Is it possible/likely to find real love at 15?

Believe me, I'm not usually the type to ask this, but I'd like your opinion.

Original Post by eddiepotter:

uuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm.......NO

Hate to agree with EP...but...absolutely...NO.

Original Post by caloricat:

Original Post by eddiepotter:

uuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm.......NO

Hate to agree with EP...but...absolutely...NO.

I have to wonder what makes the naysayers say nay in the first place.

Now, I'll be the first to admit it's not necessarily likely to find real love at 15. However, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't possible--otherwise I wouldn't be married to a wonderful man I met when I was 14, and started dating when I was 16 (he was 15) years old.

Can those of you who believe it's completely impossible to find real love at 15 tell me why you think this way? I'm just talking about love, here, not necessarily marriage and children.

Original Post by javagen3:

Woa.... she is only asking about being in love... not about marriage, kids and the whole fireworks!

Define "real love". I think love happens in many different ways. Romantic love can last from a brief moment to a lifetime and mean a whole lot of different things. Being in love is not reason enough to get married! It is only a  part of the whole picture.

As others have said, you will change over the years. Simply enjoy being in love!  

 

hee hee hee, first comes love, second comes marriage..... then comes.....

i'd say it's possible, but very unlikey. things are so much more intense when you are so young, so while it feels super intense and like it will last forever now, chances are it won't.

i know i am an entirely different person now than i was at 15. 

Love, real love is being able to put the best interests of someone before your own wants or needs. Love is patient and kind. When I was 15, love was shallow, fun, emotional, and all about me. Now I'm 26, married, and I understand that love is also a choice. I choose to love each day, even if I don't feel like it. Love is not all about me, its about that other person too. Sadly, most boys your age equate sex with "love" and many girls your age will be conned into thinking he loves her, when really, he just wants to have sex with her. TO me real romantic love is equated with a commitment to stick through the relationship through anything that comes your way. When someone truly is in love, I believe marriage should naturally follow. If someone isn't willing to wait, then its not really true love. Its puppy love, infatuation, lust....not true love

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's spelled  L.U.S.T.....NOT  LOVE..relax...the REAL thing comes along later.

to kristicro - you are right on!

Original Post by glamgram:

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's spelled  L.U.S.T.....NOT  LOVE..relax...the REAL thing comes along later.

to kristicro - you are right on!

I'll pose the same question to you as I have every one else--kristicro is certainly right on what real love is, vs what most teenagers believe to be love, but I want to know why it's completely impossible to find real, selfless love at 15.

I'll admit I had a lot of lust when I was 13 years old, and still felt a lot of it at 15 (if not more) when I realized that I loved my husband, but I loved him first prior to developing the sexual attraction I had/still have to this day. I would have done anything for him at that age, and he would have done anything for me. And we always sat down and tried to work things out when things got tough, even at 15--especially since he was dealing with depression at the time.

For those of you who are saying it's completely impossible to find real love at 15, how would you explain my relationship with my husband?

I think it's possible. Not likely, but definitely not impossible. I did not fall in love so young (I was 19 the first time and 21 the 2nd time round) but I know people who were in love at that age, and have stayed in love. I also know people who were in love then, and broke up.

So overall, I vote yes, but with caution!

Of course the love you feel at 15 is as "real" and powerful as any other.

Will it be the love to last a lifetime? Almost certainly not. But that is no reason not to go full into it.  Eventually you may have your heart broken, but I don't believe that having our hearts broken a time or two is bad for us as people, it's a part of our growth process.  It's still worthwhile and even after a painful breakup you'll probably look back on this time fondly.

All that being said, please be super super careful if you're being intimate or planning on it.  A baby too early can really turn a promising young life upside-down, and rob you of what should be the best years of your life.

It is AMAZING how many girls get pregnant the very first time.

Original Post by glamgram:

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's spelled L.U.S.T.....NOT LOVE..relax...the REAL thing comes along later.

to kristicro - you are right on!

Do you really think it's just "lust"?  Lust is in our pants and our eyes.  The poster is talking about that feeling in your chest that is so overpowering you think you might pass out.  Maybe it's infatuation, but it's not just base lust, I'm sure.

Original Post by udokier:

Do you really think it's just "lust"?  Lust is in our pants and our eyes.  The poster is talking about that feeling in your chest that is so overpowering you think you might pass out.  Maybe it's infatuation, but it's not just base lust, I'm sure.

 And maybe she has pneumonia.

It's purely statistics.  The odds are against it, heavily!  People change over time...ALOT!!  And the times it works are either because the two people are so repulsive that there's only a small number of people that can stand them and thus they don't stray too far from finding that potential mate, OR they got knocked up, OR they never leave their hometown and therefore their "world" is smaller. 

At the end of the day, it's options.  If you have no options or perceive that you have no options, you've found you're "love".  As soon as the 15 year old goes to college and sees 6000 other potential mates, suddenly Elmer's friendship ring starts to feel a bit constricting.

Original Post by caloricat:

 And maybe she has pneumonia.

It's purely statistics.  The odds are against it, heavily!  People change over time...ALOT!!  And the times it works are either because the two people are so repulsive that there's only a small number of people that can stand them and thus they don't stray too far from finding that potential mate, OR they got knocked up, OR they never leave their hometown and therefore their "world" is smaller. 

 Oh calcat..., you would go there.

Original Post by caloricat:

 And maybe she has pneumonia.

It's purely statistics.  The odds are against it, heavily!  People change over time...ALOT!!  And the times it works are either because the two people are so repulsive that there's only a small number of people that can stand them and thus they don't stray too far from finding that potential mate, OR they got knocked up, OR they never leave their hometown and therefore their "world" is smaller. 

At the end of the day, it's options.  If you have no options or perceive that you have no options, you've found you're "love".  As soon as the 15 year old goes to college and sees 6000 other potential mates, suddenly Elmer's friendship ring starts to feel a bit constricting.

I agree that options definitely play a role in this, but I don't think they play nearly as much of a role as the fact that people change.

But I can tell you that my neither my husband nor myself are so repulsive no one can stand us. ^~ Nor have I gotten knocked up prior to getting married (and the one time I was knocked up lasted very briefly, as I miscarried), and my husband and I are currently 450 miles away from our home town and have met many new people outside of our high school group.

It's true that people change, but people can grow and change together. I will agree that statistically it's unlikely to find real love at 15. However, it's not impossible, as some of us have managed to find it that early, and keep it. =) It's just a shame that my poor husband doesn't even get to be home for a year before he's gotta go back out to Afghanistan for a year long deployment. Our first deployment was one of the best learning experiences I've had, as we've learned to keep our relationship open, happy, and loving, even when he was half a world away.

I like the fact that we get to grow together and help each other when we struggle. We're best friends to the end, and I will support him in anything he does. =) And I know it's mutual.

Like I said, statistically, finding real love at 15 is unlikely, but there are always those like myself that stray from the norm. But those of us who feel that we HAVE found it, did not necessarily find it because we were trapped in this situation with one other person. Some of us just know what we want early on. :D

my first love was at the age of 15-18, but we had some complications that we were just not ready for. the teenage years are definite years of emotional turmoil. possibly it would've worked out better had we been older. & this was awhile ago & i can still say that i loved him. it wasn't lust, as i've lusted many many times & ive even cared about some of the guys i've lusted. but there are so many facets of love.

then you get different definitions of love. sting pissed me off by saying he knew he was in love with whats her face the first time he met her & he was an adult at the time. sorry it may have worked out but initially that was not love.  people have to love you for who are & you can't know who they are without knowing at least something about them.

so anyway back to the question, its possible to love the person at age 15 or so, its possible to love many people along the way as well, but that doesn't mean that they are going to be the love of your life