Is it okay to be me? Curves and all?

Hey all!

So, I had a question that I would like your thoughts on, and perhaps others have asked themselves this also...

Is it okay to be me?

I'm 5'9", and weigh approx. 145 lbs (give or take a few lbs, depending on how hard I'm trying).  I'm about a size 8/Medium, have never had any major weight issues (I think the most I've ever weighed is about 165lbs), and have tried to focus more on being healthy than trying to achieve a certain number on the scale.

However, I am one of those women who looks at my stomach everytime I'm in the bathroom, and frown at the constant layer of fat that seems to be quite comfortable around my midsection.  It's not a lot - it's just not firm and pretty the way I'd like it to be.  I enjoy the gym - there are times when I'm consistent and work really hard, and other times where I settle for any little bit of exercise I can get during the day to keep myself from being totally sedentary (I work at a desk - yuck!).

Today, I've been wondering - is it okay to be me?  Is it okay to have a few curves instead of always worrying about whether or not I'm ever going to achieve that perfectly toned body?  Is it okay to stay at an average weight and size, as opposed to feeling like I should be that size 6/small?

I got married a few weeks ago, and my husband is the most sweet and sincere person I've ever met.  He loves the way I look, is always telling me how beautiful I am, and appreciates that I look like a healthy woman!  I am grateful for his compliments, I just think sometimes it gives me the "out" I occasionally look for to give myself an excuse not to try as hard.

I want to be happy with myself, so is it okay to be happy with my curves or would it be more normal to be happier in a wafe-like body?

Thoughts?  Relevant experiences?  Lets hear it!

If you are healthy, and feel good, don't worry about small imperfections, because healthy is what matters.  I mean, c'mon - you are 5'9", 145 pounds, you look beautiful in your profile pic.  Not everyone was made to be a stick.

And by the way, I'm 5'6" and my GOAL is to be 145.

Of course it is okay to be healthy! Our society is so fixated on size but a size is not what makes you healthy. Eat healthy, stay active, enjoy your husband and let him enjoy you(don't make him turn the lights off *wink*)! Keep up the good living pretty lady...

Original Post by samantha81:

Is it okay to be me?

I'm 5'9", and weigh approx. 145 lbs (give or take a few lbs, depending on how hard I'm trying).  I'm about a size 8/Medium, have never had any major weight issues (I think the most I've ever weighed is about 165lbs), and have tried to focus more on being healthy than trying to achieve a certain number on the scale.

Realistically, what other choice do you have?  No matter how thin (or waif-like) you get, or how fat you get, you will still be you.  And that is a good thing.

If you continue eating good foods and keep reasonably active you have every chance to continue to be healthy, since you are at a reasonable body weight.

If you want to make self-improvements, why not focus on something beyond your body?  Volunteer at a rest home or a soup kitchen.  Tutor a child.  Mentor a colleague.  Be of service to the world, it will make you happy and reduce the time you have to worry about your body.

you're the only one who can answer that question.

I know how you feel.  I am 5'9 as well and currently weight 146 and between a size 6/8.  Only my shorts are size 6's.  At my biggest I was up to 182.   My boobs have shrunk, which sucks.  Not that they were big to begin with but they were more than what they are now.  I do have curves as well.  I hate that I have to buy a size up in jeans to fit my thighs and butt and then have the waist be big.  I have the bump in my belly.  I wish it were flat but I feel great when i put on tee shirts and the bump is hardly noticeable. 

Now that I'm down to roughly my ideal weight Im trying not to focus on the number on the scale anymore or what size Im wearing.  I'm trying to focus on inches.

I'm currently doing P90X with my boyfriend.  I'm trying not to be obsessive about my workouts and eating.  Some days are harder then others.  Most days I eat pretty well balanced diet and with in my calorie rang and try to work out 6 days a week.  For the last few months I've been living to work out and diet where as now I'm trying to adjust to working out and eating better to live. 

So long story short, my focus is to tone but at a slower pace and not beat myself up if I don't.  I'm happy where Im at.  You should be happy too.  If you want to tone then add 3 workouts a week for weight lifting.  For us curvy women no matter how skinny we get our curves won't go away.  Appreciate them, there are many women that would kill to have curves.

Samantha,

You're at a healthy weight. You feel good. Your husband adores you and your body...This is all so great. And now you're questioning your own dissatisfaction with your figure, which is also wonderful because it sounds like it's time to let it go.

For me, I made peace with that layer of fat when, in the process of a check-up before trying to get pregnant, my doctor told me that healthy women generally have more fat than men because we're, so to speak, more important. We need to have a little fat, a little energy stored, so that our bodies can conceive and gestate and nurse. And our bodies often won't conceive if we're too thin because nature wants to be sure that we can get ourselves and the baby through a difficult time, like a famine or lean winter.

Now, you may or may not want kids, but it's true that being fertile -- barring other problems, of course -- is an indicator of good health.

So I hope you can let that self-criticism go. It's not helping you. And  there are so many more interesting things to think about and do!

So why am I on CC myself? Well, I had my kids, and now I'm carefully losing some of the weight I gained and reestablishing some good habits. And since this is actually my first foray into "dieting," I am actually constantly heart-broken reading about all the misery folks seem to be experiencing. So I de-lurked to try to persuade you to give up your not-quite-misery, which is so unnecessary...And visit an art museum to see some standards of beauty a lot more healthy and reasonable than our crazy popular media.

Your husband is RIGHT!  This very thing is what makes a woman sexy!!  When she is what she is and is proud of who she is - curves and all!  Keep doing what you are doing and don't worry about anything!

I personally think women are beautiful creatures, and so do most men, no matter what kind curves you have. What makes them even more beautiful is when you can tell that they have truely embraced themselves with who they are. It's all in your persona and how you carry yourself. Be happy that you are a size 8!! and healthy!! and you engage in physical activity!   I see every type of women come into the gym I work at and every body is not created equal so why should we try to conform to some set standard set by our society?? Enjoy being a newly wed and be happy with who you are and where you are today.

Wow... you honestly sound just like me! I know everyone says that about someone's post, but really... it's a little weird how similar we are! I'm 5'8" and 140 on a good day, 6/S (some stores 8/M), My heighest weight was probably 155, so I never had serious weight issues either. Also, I just got married 2 weeks ago to a wonderful man! Another similarity, I sit at a desk all day! creepy!

I was in your shoes about 6 months ago... I wanted the perfect body. I wanted to be toned, I wanted to be sculpted. Now, I am not exactly sure what my lightbulb moment was, but now I'm not so concerned. I switched my focus from trying to be a supermodel (which wouldn't work anyways b/c I do not have the body shape for that) to just eating healthy and exercising regularly. Let me tell you, that was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! Granted, I still have work to do in the eating department b/c I tend to overeat on the weekends, but it's a work in progress and I am aware of my goals and know that I can acheive them. I just try to workout for 30 minutes every day, adding weight-lifting when I can, and eat to the best of my abilities.

I like being soft :) I'm curvy, 36-28-40(!!) and I really do love it. It's fun checking myself out in the mirror, and it's quite sexy having some lady-like curves! Also, I realized if I ever did get to that fit, skinny look I was working so hard for, the amount of work I would have had to do to keep it up really would have sucked the fun out of life. lol!

We're healthy, happy and sexy! Live it up girl!

Wow!  All of your responses have been amazing, and it would be so great to have all of you as my cheerleaders on a regular basis ;)

There are definitely days when I feel better about myself than others, and a habit I'm trying to break myself of is the urge to poke and squish my stomach everytime I have to see it (sorry if that's TMI).  I want to be happy and accept myself in the body I was given, and not worry so much about looking like the fitness models that parade around the gym!

I am really, really hard on myself - and I want to make sure I'm happy, regardless of whether my butt is harboring a few extra lbs. 

I get on here all the time and push other women to accept their womanly curves, and that's it's a beautiful thing to have some shape!  I just stink at taking my own advice! Lol...

Instead of using the term "curves" just use the more honest term "fatness".  I have "fatness".  Even the "big bones" myth isn't honest.  Bigger bones may give only about 10-15 pounds of weight over the regular boned, not the 20-50 pounds of extra fatness.  Some are just highly genetically gifted and would have "the look" with little or no effort.  Be hard on yourself, but don't be obsessed.  That's a struggle I deal with.

I'm glad you posted this, I'm in almost exactly the same situation as well.  It's funny, when I see pictures of myself I only think about how I don't look like an actress or model, even though I'm healthy and happy in every other regard.  I have noticed that the less I expose myself to the airbrushed ladies on the covers of magazines the better I feel.  Honestly, we look great and our men know it!  So, forget about all the gossip and the fake bodies we see in the media and love your curves!

wifi92 - Um, have you ever talked to, or dealt with women before?  No woman, whether they're on the cover of "Health", or a prime candidate for Jenny Craig wants to use the term "fatness"... especially when they're trying to find encouragement and positive reinforcment!

I'm not in denial, but I would definitely not refer to what I have on my body as "fatness", because to me that's implying that at 5'9" and 145lbs - I'm fat. 

I think you have good intentions, but... very poor way of expressing them!  Lol!  Thank you ;)

Custom85 - I think you just read my mind!  It's not like I look at myself and think "Ew!  Heffer!  Only celery for you today!"  I'm not particularly displeased with how I look, but who wouldn't want to look fabulous? 

On the other hand, I just think there's something to be said for having confidence in looking like a woman!  A real-life, healthy, woman!  I'm just trying to find balance in continuing to work on my goals, and still being happy with the body I do have - regardless of whether or not I have ab definition or perfectly toned arms.  Ya know?