Curvey women or stick thin women?

I put this in my journal, but I just wanted other people's opinion.

People say men want something to grab hold of, they like a woman with curves.  So why is it that every man I know goes on about women who are stick thin?  Every thin, female customer they see, they lust over.  Never over a woman with "curves"  And what's worse is they talk to me about them.  It's "Wow she's fit isn't she? wow look at her behind"  It does my head in.

When I was thinner (too thin really for me) I got loads of attention from the opposite sex and now I get none (none that I notice anyway)

So I think that maybe people only say men like women with "curves" because they think it will help stop women getting eating disorders.  I don't think they really mean it.

I agree with you. People say all the time, that guys like girls with shape just as much as thinner girls, but from what I notice id disagree. I go out to clubs with my friends, and theres about 5 of us that normally go, and one of our friends--who looks unhealthy to me & is about 90 pounds gets LOADS more attention from guys. and not to sound rude- she has a far less appealing face in my opinion. It just shocks me the difference in how many guys will approach her as opposed to my beautiful best friend who is around 135-140.  Now I know a club isn't exactly the best way to guage normal behavior but that's just one place i noticed

I guess having a "hot body" sadly means more than a pretty face or wonderful personality

What's wrong with arse?

I don't know many guys that like twiggy. We're hard wired to like curves. It sends certain signals to our brains.

On the attention issue. Attention isn't that related to looks. I went to school with two girls. Very similar builds. Same hieght. If you took a tape measure to them you'd have trouble telling them apart. Same hair. Very similar faces. Same eyes. Could have been sisters. One was very shy and reserved. The other thought she was the worlds greatest gift to men. One got all the attention the other got none.

 Dress,attitude,confindence etc mean alot more when it comes to attention then looks.

i think men have been conditioned through advertising to look at skinny as being more attractive than curvy.

zeke, I agree with your example, but if they had been equally out-going, and one thinner than the other, I bet the bank that the guys would flock to the thinner one. 

And what's worse is they talk to me about them.  It's "Wow she's fit isn't she? wow look at her behind"  It does my head in. -- helenc

Those guys are OBVIOUSLY complete IDIOTS -- WHO does that??? They are rude, shallow, and insensitive. WHY they have to comment to you, I will never understand. Tell em to save it for when they're with their friends! I really do think that's rude -- you ought to start commenting on how "hot" the men are. LOL! I would just like to point out, also, that how many of those dumb men are the skinny chicks interested in anyway? I'm sure most of those guys are out of their league anyway. So HAHAH to them!

Even though it SEEMS men walk walking sticks, I really think it's only a microcosm of what's out there. You really can't go by your observation alone. And looking in clubs doesn't cut it either. I'll bet if you took a poll of a nice cross section of the population, you WOULD find not ALL men like the teeny tinies. By the way, what is your definition of "curvy"?

Dress,attitude,confindence etc mean alot more when it comes to attention then looks. -- zeke2

I absolutely agree with Zeke!

i think men have been conditioned through advertising to look at skinny as being more attractive than curvy. -- manewell

Yes Manewell -- as do women and that's why so many have eating disorders.

I guess having a "hot body" sadly means more than a pretty face or wonderful personality -- geminik

I would look at it this way -- would you really want one of those shallow, loser guys anyway? This just makes it THAT much easier to weed out the trash. There ARE decent guys out there that one "regular" girls! :)

I have actually wondered the same thing, and even asked my husband and he says he doesn't know, he can't answer that.  He tells me that he's not one of the men that goes for skinny women - he says he doesn't like getting poked by bony hips and stuff, and that he likes a woman with curves and then adds "I'm with you, aren't I?"

But I agree, it irks me to no end when guys are like that, and I wish I understood it too.

I'm not one to normally stick up for men, but it's really no different from women prefering TALL and/or BEEFY men. What about the SHORT and/or SKINNY men? I've heard PLENTY of stories about how women just are not interested in short men ... I'm not saying it's true -- I'm just saying that's the gripe I hear from men. 

I believe it has to do with both shallow men and a woman's confidence. I have two examples of these...

Number one. There are some guys in this messed up community we call the world that are just jerks. They go by what society deems "attractive" or "hot" and go with girls that fit this category. In the case of today, it's skinny-mini girlies. So I believe that those jerk-faces will go after what society portrays as attractive in fear of being ridiculed by other jerk-faced guys.

Number two. I have a best friend who looks like a supermodel off of all of the top magazines out there. She's naturally thin, wears a size 0, is 5'9", and her face is ward of zits, acne, and blemishes. Now with this info, you'd think she'd get all of the guys and she'd be the most popular. But, she is also very quiet, not very outgoing, and is very shy when she's not around her friends. With that said, not many guys would approach her because of the aura she gives out towards them. She rarely brings forth her personality, her attitude, or her spunk to anyone other than me or any of our other friends.

If you compare her to me (I don't like comparing myself but this is just an example.), I wear a size 14/16, have a couple of zits on my face, is 5'5", and is not naturally thin. But I get more attention from different people because I'm more outgoing, brings forth a more friendly aura around people, and isn't as shy.

So I believe it has to do with a bit of both: guys that are just plain shallow and girls who just don't seem approachable from many different variables.

I think what it comes down to is that curvy does not equal fat. Guys tend to like nice sized breasts and behinds on girls who are thin and toned everywhere else.  I think this is what they mean when they all say the like curvy girls and like something to grab onto. I dont think what they want is a handful of belly flab!

I've found that they like thin girls...but with plumper butts and bigger boobs. Just an observation. I think that usually means curves, just not too much.

Yep! I totally agree with the last three ladies! PEER PRESSURE, Lily! 

personally i would rather be stick thin. i've had ED's before and i know i still have tendencies but i'm just not comfortable being "curvy." that just means fat to me. i like curvy shape but i dont like curves that involve cushiony fat that looks all soft and....ew.

and idk i go to school with lots of thin girls who are the LOVES of the many many guys around them...

some guy actually told me i had an ass like jlo today and that my thong was too small for my ass (like it was a good thing he meant it as a compliment) cuz i had shown him these pictures (not for sexual purposes lol i thought he'd make me feel better)....and i literally started crying, i just stopped a minute ago...

so idk i know i have issues but i would rather be stick thin than "curvy" and feel fatter than everyone else around me

I agree with "curve =/= fat" & "the bit about personality and confidence." On the same token, you can't help idiots who muddled in their perception of what they actually like/want in women. *sigh*...

Why is it that guys who like petite girls are deemed by so many of you to be "idiots," "jerks," "jerk-faces," "shallow," "trash," etc.?

People find different things/qualities/attributes attractive, and there is nothing wrong with someone finding those things/qualities/attributes attractive.  It is extremely shallow and catty for a girl to think a thin girl deserves no attention.  By determining that only idiots like thin girls, you have made the case that they have no appeal.  That's shallow.

I like girls of all sizes and have dated girls of all sizes.  I'm most attracted to girls on the petite side.  There certainly is "too petite" for my tastes, but that doesn't mean a non-idiot/non-jerk couldn't find her attractive.  That's a like -- a preference.  Perhaps I am an idiot, jerk, or jerk-face, but not because of what I find appealing.

The true "idiots," "jerks," or "jerk-faces" are the girls who sneer at thin girls and believe only idiots can be attracted to them.  They are the "shallow," ones -- not the guys who like certain qualities/attributes.

I don't know, I don't think there is a standard. I have two friends, however, who are models - and the one is INCREDIBLY thin. Not only are they beautiful (the one is a swimsuit model and has appeared on cosmo lingerie shoots) but they are super confident. This is probably partly because they are used to getting attention and 'parading' in front of other people. Now, when they go out with me - they get a LOT of attention. Not only because of the way they look, but because of the way they behave.

On the other hand, my best friend is short, has a cute little curvy body but not the prettiest face in the world. But her personality is AMAZING. She makes everyone fall in love with her - including very eligible men. She does not have the perfect body, she has tits and ass and her stomach is not flat - but she sells herself.

Then, I think of my brothers (I have 3 older brothers) who are down to earth, sweet amazing guys. They are all involved with women who have average figures - not thin, just right. And they always react with disgust when they see girls on fashion TV or in magazines that are too thin (especially the catwalk models) and prefer the kind of athletic girls you may see in Shape magazine. This goes for my ex boyfriend, too and a lot of other men I know.

Also, you can't say that men are a certain way by going on the behaviour of a couple of assholes at a club or bar. Most guys and girls who go out at night and party just want to get laid - it's a superficial world sometimes. And if they see a thin girl wearing a short skirt with a nice pair of boobs - of course they're going to perv over her.

The "shallow/idiot/jerks" are the ones that say "ooooooh she's HOT" and treat women like objects. Plus, other women really could care less who they think is hot. People that are OBSESSED by other people's looks ARE shallow. Take it for what it's worth. I don't think anybody is REALLY saying a guy can't like a skinny girl or that a skinny girl can't be attractive. That wasn't really the point. The point is that not ALL guys like ONLY SKINNY girls.

I'm thin and good looking but I wouldn't want one of those men that drool over me and call me "hot" -- I'd MUCH rather have a guy like dhm1983's brothers ... who want an "average" girl. :)

Ksripp. I agree, theres nothing wrong with liking thin girls. I think to like a skinny girl with big boobs is kinda human nature.

Simmer down, ksripp lol. Don't get so work-out ~.^
I think the apprehensive comments are in general directed towards people who said one thing but act the opposite.

Well, I'm obviously not a guy, but I'll answer this question anyway.

I personally am attracted to the personality of a person. If I went strictly by looks, which I don't do, I would have to say that the stick-thin-ill look turns me off. It really isn't attractive to me. Healthy bodies and/or people who love their bodies are extremely attractive to me.

Oooo.... Plenty of scathing opinions in here

Why is it that guys who like petite girls are deemed by so many of you to be "idiots," "jerks," "jerk-faces," "shallow," "trash," etc.?

You are right Ksripp there.

I believe it has to do with both shallow men and a woman's confidence. I have two examples of these...

Lilydream35 - You give the opinion that thin women will only ever attract shallow men? Oh dear. Also gives the impression that women here are losing weight to be healthier and attract shallow men. Good thought....

Since the guys are getting such a bashing in this post I will add the other side as sensatively as I can. I have been in this forum for 4 months now, so I would appreciate that you know my principles and opinions and that I am playing devil's advocate here.

Am I attracted to thin? Yes. Why? Not single anymore, but clubbing out with friends on the prowl (hey.... all men were teenagers, some never grew up) you would not hang around the tables, or bar. You would head to the dance floor. What would you notice first given that beer is involved? Women wearing small outfits (their choice) and dancing sexily. The message this gives out is that they are confident, free and unattached and fun. Wearing as much clothing over the body, sitting down and less fun gives the impression of attached, moody, insecure.

You also have to distinguish between anorexic looking and slim. Cameron Diaz is slim, whereas Nicole Ritchie is thin. I was more attracted to Nicole Ritchie before here dieting, but would not have described her as curvey.

Yeah. Guys want a curvey girl, but IMO because they are seen as childbearing, family orientated, the girl to take home to mum.

Whilst guys are not wanting to settle down they go for what is fun, and not what they percieve as commitment. This may change though in time.

All in all.... Guys are not shallow for fancying thin women. I would ask are women shallow because they fancy Brad Pitt or others? Don't forget the opinion that women are gold-diggers? Is that not as hurtful or insulting as calling guys shallow? Anna Nicole Smith, Hugh Heffner and so on....

We like confident, fun, live for the moment, but know that when we want a family and settle down these are not the women to put that faith in. I bet a lot of slim girls complain about being lonely etc...

Don't make this a man bashing topic. The thread is curvey women or stick thin women. Men are shallow. Lets get some personal facts.

Kind regards and peace :)