Curvey women or stick thin women?

I put this in my journal, but I just wanted other people's opinion.

People say men want something to grab hold of, they like a woman with curves.  So why is it that every man I know goes on about women who are stick thin?  Every thin, female customer they see, they lust over.  Never over a woman with "curves"  And what's worse is they talk to me about them.  It's "Wow she's fit isn't she? wow look at her behind"  It does my head in.

When I was thinner (too thin really for me) I got loads of attention from the opposite sex and now I get none (none that I notice anyway)

So I think that maybe people only say men like women with "curves" because they think it will help stop women getting eating disorders.  I don't think they really mean it.

yeah for sure... i get what you're saying!


What's an FA?

ok, wow. i just have one question. don't all women get curves? i mean, isn't it part of the puberty stage. and also since when does obesity = curves? i hope this doesn't offend anyone but i hate it when overweight women say they're curvy and that the rest of the world is just hatin on them. that's one reason why i strongly dislike Mo'nique.

      first, she wrote that book titled Skinny women are Evil. i thought that was wrong. just because she isn't thin doesn't mean that she should hate on the skinyy women and thus causing other obese women to dislike skinny women.

   second, i think that Mo'nique is a bad role model for most women who are seriously overweight and need to lose weight. it discourages them from losing the extra weight which can reduce their life expectancy.

   i'm speaking for myself when i say this but the teen boys around me like different kinds of girls. some of them like the chubby ones, other the thin ones, others the average, it all depends on the guy. i, personally will like to be in between, skinny and toned yet full or "curvy" in the right places(butts, boobs, hips). yeah, that's all i had to say. no need to turn this into the battle of the sexes.

marcie glad you liked my saying:)

Now as for what is curvy I think everyone has there definition of what curvy is. I happen to think I'm cuvry but i'm okay with fat too because it's just an adjective so it doesn't offend me like it use too.

When I hear curvey I think Mo'nique, America Ferrira, Selma Hayek, Penelope Cruz, Camryn Manheim, Jessica Simpson, Giselle (supermodel), Tyra Banks, the Williams Sisters and the list goes on. I think like with skinniest there are different levels of cuves.

wow theres alot of oppinions here.

I personally agree with member My_dream_body, nicely said.


First off, men cant decide what is appealing to them, it just is so dont insult them for it. Women, we all know alot of you you dont like "curvy" men either and find all of the men who go to the gym attractive so dont be hypocritical. it goes both ways. What ever you find appealing isn't choosen by whos feelings it might hurt.

I understand some people are thin or curvy by heredity but theres a point when self control comes into play.

If you dont want people calling you "fat" or "curvy", then take some responsibility and control yourself. Although i do know some people are born large or what they try just doesnt work, if you continue trying good for you but theres not much we can do about trying to change peoples minds unfortunately.

stick thin? well theres a point when your healthy and not healthy. If you have an eating disorder then get help. Here self control also plays a big roll.

I simply think alot of people gain weight by being irresponsible and carless and it is completely ridiculous. Fat is basically an unappealing result of poor health and exercise habits, to both men and women. Im one of the younger members, maybe the youngest and im unhappy with how much i weigh. Im not over weight at all but im unhappy and im doing something about it. If i can do this i think all of the people who are much older than me, complain about their weight and do nothing about the situation are pathetic and have no right to put down the people who are resonsible enough to maintain their weight.

wow is right!!!

just about each and every post struck some sort of chord or hot button nerve with me.

thin and normal, think with eating disorders, fat or not, morbidly obese!!!

It is just our packaging, along wth the color of our eyes, skin and hair. Part from the way we eat cultureally (sp?) but also from our genetics.

It shocks me how many people think fat people should just shut their mouth, have a little will power and lose their weight now.  Ain't as easy as that.  Ever.

I haven't figured out the answers yet, but I'm willing to try. From everything I read and see, I can't find a 'definitive' answer that works for everyone.  And sometimes I just feel like quitting because it is so freaking hard!!!

And how dare someone even think I am less than just because I'm different.  Make that skinny as a bean pole.  Who decides what is skinny and beautiful.  I will never understand why people don't seek the beauty that is found in the soul, look deep into the eyes.

Yikes. It's too late and I wax poetic & 1/2 rant.  Confused I guess. I just don't know what to think right now.

my_dream_body---I completely agree with you.I never understood why fat is considered "curvy" I have always been curvy whether I was thin or heavier. And I have known many heavy girls that dont have half the curves I have.

Fat does NOT equal curvy.

This is where the misconceptions is. When men say they like curvy girls, people think they are saying they like fat girls.

Traditionally curvy is larger chest, smaller waist, and wider hips. Like an hourglass.

If you dont want people calling you "fat" or "curvy", then take some responsibility and control yourself.

Curvy, I don't mind.  I'm female.  I should have curves.  I don't want to look rail thin, or flat as a board.  I have a 50DD chest - even when I get to my goal weight, I know I will still have a sizeable chest.  I am "hippy" and have a butt - even when I get to goal, I will still have them, just much smaller.  I don't want to have a body like Paris Hilton or Kate Moss.  I want to still look female.  I don't mind "curvy".  However right now I have too much curve in all the right places, and excess curves in places where I shouldn't (stomach, thighs, etc).  I guess maybe instead of saying "curvy women" in the subject thread, it should have been "overweight" or "chubby" because curvy is not a bad thing for a woman.  We are suppose to be that.  We were designed to have curves for so many reasons, and it is sad to see young women fighting it by starving themselves, instead of embracing the changes that their bodies are going through.

Curvy, I don't mind.  I even like.

It's "fat" I hate....detest... abhor.  And it's fat that's on my body that I am kicking my butt to get rid of.

sarah_sue said: Fat does NOT equal curvy.

This is the heart of the matter and the source of the confusion/misunderstanding about whether men prefer

• a very thin body type  | |
• a thin-with-exaggerated-sex-traits body type > <
• or a fat body type (  )

Naturally, I accept sarah_sue's opinion about what 'curvy' means, but must point out that she is not "The Definer" and doesn't get to tell other people what they can mean when they use a particular word, especially an ambiguous word like 'curvy'.

But I do think that it would help if fat women would stop trying to skirt around the issue by using any other word than Fat to describe themselves. When you're standing in front of someone, they know how fat you are, whether you call yourself curvy or fluffy or any other word.  And while there are some men who prefer fat women, they are a very small minority. Just accept this. Who cares whose fault it is.... does blame really even enter into it at all?

I recently caught myself in just such an absurd social game when my bf asked me to give him my clothing sizes so he could Christmas shop for me.  I just couldn't bring myself to tell him my sizes because I'm so ashamed of what they are. That is so ridiculous, yes?  He's seen me without clothes - he knows exactly how big I am. So why do I get all hung up about the number? Who do I think I'm kidding? 

I won't call myself curvy though. I know I'm fat and excuse me, but that's why we're all here... to do something about it!  Please do not mistake our struggling for not giving a crap and giving up.... we wouldn't be here if we were giving up.

I know that I'm posting this at the end of a long chain, but I can't help recalling a former co-worker. He must have weighed at least 400 lbs and had the shape of a tyranasaurus rex. Short, skinny legs and arms, no butt,no neck and an enormous belly that he described as a "long torso." Yet, his ideal of female beauty was Christy Brinkley and  he really wasn't interested in anyone who fell short of that standard! While this pathetic specimen is the extreme of what HelenC seems to be talking about, it exemplifies the fact that most men do judge women by their appearance first and the rest of the package somewhere after that. Women, while they certainly can appreciate the beauty of ,say, George Clooney, usually don't stay interested very long if the guy is a twit. That being said, I don't think that there is a man out there that is such a loser that some women won't love him. Don't know that this is the case when it comes to a fat or unattractive woman.

annemariew, great insight.... thank you!  Perhaps some will disagree, but I think you're right on...

Women judge men by appearance first, as well. There is no physiological way around it unless your are blind. The real issue, IMO, is that society, as a whole, is more forgiving of a fat man than a fat woman.

First of all Mo'nique is not a bad role model for women. She is not encouraing fat women to stay fat she is saying accept who you are first. Learn to love yourself FIRST! And her book was good and she was addressing how fat people are treated and she is speaking from pesonal experience. Second if I want to call myself curvy, fat, rubenesque, fluffy or anything else that's my call not anybody's else. Next not everyone that is fat is fat because they are lazy and have no self control and I get so tired of that same old crap! There are many who have health problems that lead to weight gain just like there are illnesses that cause weight loss and then eveybody is not meant to be a size 2,6,8,10, etc.... I am curvy and for those of you who don't like for me to use curvy...tough.. because if you're fat it just means you have curves on top of curves.

At the gym I go to I see women of all shapes working out and this leads to believe, as I stated earlier, that we can't all be thin or skinny. And there is nothing wrong with being skinny but as the last couple of thread demonstrate we are our own worst enemies. We put down people and try to draw boxes and contain people. And for the person who said there is a small minorty of men who like fat women that's is untrue. You would be surprised at the number of men who like plus size women and it's not a small number they are just ashamed to admit it. In fact Pierce Bosnan is married to a plus size woman.

I think the one thing we all agree on is that it's a matter of personal preference of who we are attracted to is just that personal. I have been blessed to have been in relationships with men that other women said what in the world does he see in her when I was at my heaviest and that's because these men were mature men who looked beyond the physical and got to know the woman and that's really what we all need to do. It's all right to loose weight but it should be for ourselves, health reasons, etc and not to keep some woman or man.

Well I'm through with my rant now:)

I find stick-figure-women to be pretty disgusting. I think that most of my friends would agree with me.

In fact, now that I think about it, I can't say that there are many super thin people even at my school. If we're talking calista flockhart thin, then yeah, I think it would be quite the rare occasion to see a girl who looks like that.

It really shows that America is the fattest, imo.

I don't believe it matters what others think.  It's a personal thing (your weight) and how you feel about it is the only thing that should concern you.  My wife and I have both been a healthy weight and overweight yet we love each other for who we are.  My opinion on very thin or very heavy is it's not healthy or attractive to most people.

* off topic : sharine, how'd you get your posting all indented like tht? o.o *

On Topic:
This is going to be an endless post :) because it is very subjective - what you prefer, what other prefers etc. And that, is at least something we all can agree upon. .. right? o.o;

No more excuses I didnt say I was the "Definer" I just said "Traditionally curvy means...."

 excuse me

kathygator wrote:
FA's are a little discussed topic on these boards, which I find quite interesting.


kathy... racking my brain... what's FA?

i know this is a little late, but i know a lot of guys like curvy.

as a biracial girl (im half black and half white, in the most basic sense, think halle berry) i get a lot of attention from every race.

i know white guys like them some skinny girl (and i live in california, land of the pancake butt) but idk, i'm somewhat curvy but still thin and i get a lot of attention from all kinds of guys.

im about a size 3...2 in old navy...but i have a little round butt (hehe) altho it used to be huge when i was 145 its still got shape, and ive got biggish boobs (proportional to my body but still at least a D)...but a tiny waist so idk.

i do track so i stay fit. i guess the only part i hate is my thighs cuz they hold mass lol....eww....

what kinds of thighs do you think men like? tiny? midrange? shapely? whatever that means? athletic? lol...

ahhh im very insecure about my thighs haha

Men don't know what they want? Ummm... Partly disagree. Men want a quiet life and to be taken as they are (were), and not be changed. Don't change us and we will be happy.

Another spin on things. If men are being called stupid for liking thin to stick thin girls...... Why do girls spend their time trying to be stick thin and caked in make-up?

Women suffer anorexia and similar because media says thin is the ideal image.

Men are told the same message, but that we should have the media perception of the perfect female.

I like what I like. I really dont care about what the media says I should like. To me curvy is a girl with a figure. One girl I met and thought was beautiful was 5ft. 3in. and weighed 150 lbs. another I met and thought was beautiful was 5ft. 8in and 140 lbs. The last one I met was 5ft 3 in. and weighed 110 lbs and she was beautiful. I find an approachable, down to earth female with a happy beautiful smile and caring eyes to be more important than any number on a scale. Curvey is what curvey is, an hour glass shape, waist smaller than hips and top. Not every woman is meant to be stick thin as you say. Be what God intended you to be. If you have large hips and a small top you're beautiful, if you have big hips and a large top you're beautiful, and if you have small hips and a small top you're beautiful to. You're all beautiful in your own way and I for one am glad everyone is not the same.