Curvey women or stick thin women?

I put this in my journal, but I just wanted other people's opinion.

People say men want something to grab hold of, they like a woman with curves.  So why is it that every man I know goes on about women who are stick thin?  Every thin, female customer they see, they lust over.  Never over a woman with "curves"  And what's worse is they talk to me about them.  It's "Wow she's fit isn't she? wow look at her behind"  It does my head in.

When I was thinner (too thin really for me) I got loads of attention from the opposite sex and now I get none (none that I notice anyway)

So I think that maybe people only say men like women with "curves" because they think it will help stop women getting eating disorders.  I don't think they really mean it.

because people are afraid of what they dont understand? some people cant figure out how others are able to "let themselves go"...thus they can't understand what it is like to be in our shoes. and when people don't understand something they often fear it...and one way of reacting to the fear is to become hateful and mean...?? just a guess...

But to go out of their way, create blogs about it? Especially when everyone, knows or is related to someone who is overweight...I mean everyone...

My experience, kathy, is that women are at least as vocal about such things, just... differently. Men are outwardly vocal, will actually have the audacity to say "OMG. Look how HUGE she is!"
Women just sort of crowd towards the other side of the room, socially cutting the HUGE woman from themselves.

Just a different way of making the same sentiment heard.

i didn't know there were blogs about hating fat people....

that's very sad for those people who can find no better use of their energy and creativity....  are they teenage boys?  teenage boys have a lot of anger and few good outlets for it.

Trolls are trolls, no matter how they make themselves known :p

Yes, nomo. It's one of the reasons I refuse to post a pic of myself. They create websites dedicated to hating and vilifying fat women...What I want to understand is why.

Probably for the same reason 'tobethin' comes in here to attack han, kathy.

Because some people are first-grade jerks.

hk, yell at yourself.  seriously, keep it clean.

:P
Alright, alright :p

*g*

saro is ready for a promotion...  :)

hey look at it this way,we are fat yes we are , who cares what they say , at least we are trying,besides fat people are harder to kidnap lol,have a little sense of humor,lets not fight with each other,we are here to support one to another,guys remember we beat anorexia lol,lets just continue with our lives ok ,let them say whatever they want,just remember they are saying this because they hate themselfs so much that they have to pick on other people,

Fat or overweight not necessarily mean ugly. Really. I said this in other thread. I know some people who are actually attractive as they are in their weight. My auntie is one. My cousin is another (same age as me). And I think Kristy Alley is beautiful. Also, they are likeable. I dont know Kristy Alley personally, obviously, but she looks and sounds ez going enough. :)

Edit: To add, skinny or wht considered perfect body people are not always pretty. Men, are free to look at other women, same goes with women. You see something interesting/attractive/nice/ugly/bad/etc you are bound to turn your head. We got eyes, so we use them :p
So, I meant to say, example, my guy friends would turn his head and see this skinny girl, and whn that girl turned they would like "ugh.. ugly" or sometime a skinny girl pass by and when we got to view the derrier and I heard "bah, flat butt.." AND another woman pass by, curvey-chubby, not obese though, and "Oooo momma .... (in a complementing tone)". Lastly a perfect woman (talking about tall skinny curvey the whole she-bang) comes in and start talking... and there goes " what a bitch!" comment ....

we're all overweight and we're ALL beautiful!

OK.  But here I go again... why is it suddenly not ok to bag on the overweight (no, i'm not saying "let's be mean to fatties" hear me out first) and then to say things like "ew, she's too skinny, she looks gross, her sternum is like a cheese grater" or my personal fave, that I heard this week, "she looks like a sack of antlers"

It's like there's no "normal" weight, no "healthy" weight.  Part of the reason I don't like talking about my actual weight, as opposed to my struggles with it, is that... well... OK, *i* think i'm overweight.  which, based on my history and my emotional health, probably means I look pretty good.  look, in fact, like what should be "normal" if normal was healthy.  normal, right now, is NOT healthy, all you have to do is look at the statistics to see that.  And I like to see people be pleased with themselves, have high self-esteem no matter what their weight (my last GF weighed right around 200 pounds and I think she looks terrific)... but.  BUT. 

It's not OK to boost ANY weight at the expense of people who look differently.

And to return to the OP, although this point was made PAGES ago, "curvy" and "fat" are NOT synonymous, unless you're reading personals ads.  a 5'6" woman at 145 pounds is a healthy weight, and has plenty of curves.  she is not overweight at all, and yet she is far from thin.  not skinny.  she doesn't look like a 12-y-o boy.  so....

'sup.

Lemme try that again :p

*think*

Can I just say as a "man" I love women all shapes and sizes.  Because each woman has their own personality, their own beauty and their own way of behaving or looking at things.  We should not judge on certain things, but I'm afraid we do.

you know my husband always said,that he likes curvy women,that the little weight i have looks good on me , that i "wear it well". but then he has the nerve to "secretly" look at every freaking skinny girl that passes by , when we he is out with me ,last night i saw this topic and i was so drawn by it , i dint posted anything, but i said out loud, "you know thats just what i say" and i asked him why is it that most men say  "oh i like a curvy girl ,i like something to grab on" but then turn around and look at someone else who is smaller than your wife or girlfriend? ,what did i get as an anwser??? 'oh now you are trying to pick up a fight' i told him i have better things to pick up a fight about , i just ask a question ,my point in this is most men are hipocrits, sorry if i spelled that wrong my english is not that good , but what im trying to say is , if they know how they truly feel ,why  the need to lie about it???



I hear ya.  I've had the same conversation with my husband and he tries to tell me that he likes 'curvy women', and I say "then explain the type of women you look at on the adult sites - those sure aren't 'curvy women' - they are model-type women." And then he tells me I'm getting defensive.  I'm not - I just want a definitive answer one way or the other and every male I've asked has not been able to give me one.  We had the conversation again last night and I said to him "But when you see a woman walking down the street, it's not her personality that makes you turn your head.  It's how she looks.  And more times than not, it's not the chubby or overweight woman that gets that reaction.  It's the thin, gorgeous, model-type that gets it, and it hurts."  I mean, men say they like women with good personalities and so on, but how are you getting to the point of finding out what kind of person they are or the kind of personality they have if you weren't attracted to them on a physical level that made you want to talk to them, first-hand?  And, unfortunately, that's where 'women of size' lose out, because men (especially if they are out with their buddies, or have a reputation to uphold) don't want to be seen talking to someone that isn't beautiful.  I mean honestly.  Even look at the adult sites, which is a billion dollar a year business.  How many of them have 'normal sized' women VS. how many of them cater to BBW's?  The numbers are very lopsided, with reason.  There isn't a big calling for the BBW sites. 

I, for one, applaud people who advocate to love yourself for who you are, and I like the fact that some of the larger sized catalogs and clothing stores are getting 'hip' with what they are offering.  About a week or so ago I found a site online that is sort of a cross between Victoria's Secret and Frederick's of Hollywood, however it caters specifically to larger size women.  Some things go up to a size 6X.  I couldn't tell you how happy it made me to see someone finally wake up and realize that larger women want to - and can be - sexy too!!

Anyways... sorry about the length.  Just sort of rambled on.

off topic: sweet_tart i don't know how i got it to indent like that...go figure

on topic: as i stated previous i am not going to let anyone take the word curvy from me. the fact that there are ones on this site who seem to have a deep dislike for fat people so much that they are insistant that curvy can not be used is just plain sad.

Willow and sweet I totally agree with you and the others who have stated over and over in this forum that it's a matter of preference. Yes there are many men out there who are FAs and as I stated in a previous post I've dated some really good looking men when I was at my heaviest. It's all about attitude baby! I think I"m sexy therefore I am sexy! I celebrate me as a woman and not what Hollywood, Madison Avenue, or any designers says I should be! I am me.

Willow the website you were proably on is www.hipsandcurves.com and I love that website. There are so many websites and stores for us BBWs Lane Bryant being the leader!

It's not my goal to be a size 2 and there are gonna be men who I'll attract and there will be men I will not attract and that's just life Ladies and Gentlemen

NOTE:  I am not a man.  That being said, aren't guys allowed to find more than one thing attractive?  Just because your S.O. is looking at a girl who looks different than you, does that mean he thinks you're unattractive?  And even if he is looking at a girl who is skinnier than you, looking doesn't mean pursuing, and I truly think there is a big difference.  I really see no harm in appreciating the variety of human shapes, even if some of those shapes are more sought after than others.  If you are with a guy who only cares about looks, then you know who you are and you have my permission to dump him, because he's a shallow bastard.  Otherwise, give the guys a break. 

I don't know if I'm really the best example, but in the past few months I've lost about 30lbs. I used to get honked at, yelled at, and "checked out" every time I went to the mall. Now, at 130 and 5'9", I get absolutely no attention from the guys. Instead, it's the females who notice. They say things like, "you're skinny, you can squeeze past me." I'm not sure if it's the confidence I now lack that used to turn heads, or if it was actually the curves. But I do know women strive for thin far more than guys would like them to.