Cutting out alcohol in a social environment

Hi all,

Happy New Year!! I've got a question for you - I am 26 and live in California near the beach in a town that is full of people my age, single and love to party. Here's my dilemma - I'm sick of going out and drinking all the time. I feel like every time anyone plans something, it involves drinking - whether to get drunk or to just relax. I will be fine going out to bars or parties and not drinking. I can enjoy the crowd, but I am tired of feeling like crap the next day, not having control over myself after drinking (especially eating), spending all that money on alcohol, and feel completely unhealthy after drinking - even just one glass of wine. I'm not trying to cut out drinking all together, because there are times when a glass of wine or beer sounds great, but I definitely want to cut it out about 90-95%.

Has anyone gotten sick of drinking alcohol, but live in a social scene and had to go through all the badgering of not drinking? I honestly don't know what people's reactions will be. I don't think it will be rude or anyone is going to pester me until I have a drink, but I can get swayed easily and I just want to know if anyone has any suggestions for being able to battle the intoxicated social scene without having to give up a social life? 

well what always works for me is just not getting a drink and then saying that im an incredible lightweight and i want to be ok enough to get home later/ want to avoid hangover. i also feel sick very easily, depending on how much i eat before drinking, and so people dont bug me about it. plus, not wanting to spend money on alcohol is also a pretty good reason not to drink.

or how about planning things to do that dont involve drinking? invite friends over for a movie (ok maybe u can give them a beer or two and not have any drinks yourself), or go bowling, to the sinema, to watch a game, picnic in a park, ice skating... these kind of activities usually dont involve drinking, and when they do it is not much and you could get away with not drinking any.

good luck!

My boyfriend and I did something similar.  I just got sick of going out, but he just wanted to stop drinking.

As with most things like this, just hang tough for a month and people will get used to you not drinking and will stop making it an issue. 

I'm 27 and stopped drinking a lot about a year ago too.  I completely understand where you are coming from.  I get very ill the next day and was sick of losing a whole day for a couple of hours of fun.

You are really doing something positive in your life . . . so stick with it!  It is worth it!

When ever I don't want people to question why I am not drinking, I order a selzter water with a lime in it.  Most people just think it's a gin and tonic.  Works with diet pepsi too, they think it's a rum and coke.  I don't know why people always have the complusion to be concerned with what other people are drinking, but...  Good Luck,  sounds like you are a very mature 26 year old!

Yeah, I cut down my drinking a few months ago. I told people that I must be getting old cause I can't handle my booze like I used to. It only takes 3 mugs of beer and the next day, I sometimes have a bad hangover.

People seem to be pretty understanding about it though. I did my social drinking over the holidays and now I'm back to normal. Just have a glass of something to sip on every now and then, whenever you feel like it. If someone else makes a big deal out of it, shame on them. However, it would be difficult if you wanted everyone else to quit drinking but that doesn't sound like what your intent was. Good luck...you'll feel tons better.

I'm somewhat of a social drinker myself, so maybe don't have much of a leg to stand on, but after my teens I couldn't really imagine anyone I know giving me much of a hard time about not drinking.  When it's the "in" thing to do when you're underage or just at the age, then I could understand that the pressure might be high.  But you're 5 years past that (in the US; 8 in most of the rest of the world)...

I'd say if people are still giving you a hard time, they need to grow up.  Or it's an easy way to identify who in the crowd is mature enough to be on friendly terms with

When I've not wanted to drink myself in a crowd, I often just tell people straight away "No, I don't want a drink, thanks."  It's rare that anyone actually pursues it beyond that...  Or if I am not drinking because I'm going to be driving and I still want to be involved in whatever the group's doing I might also follow an approach like betzc and just order a non-alcoholic drink.  It let's you participate in just about any drinking activity (toasting, some drinking games, etc) fairly transparently, so people will feel just like you're drinking with them even if they know you aren't and vice versa

When I was in university, if I didn't feel like drinking, I just volunteered to be the designated driver - which had the added benefit that a lot of bars wouldn't charge the designated driver for pop/water, so I saved a bunch of money too.

Thanks everyone for the replies! It always helps knowing other people have done the same thing :)!!

Depending on your bar, you could just be stealthy and order fake drinks. I read a tip once that said to order diet ginger ale in a champagne glass and pretend that you are drinking. I am not sure how well this works or if any bars even stock diet ginger ale, but it can't hurt to try.

Original Post by betzc:

When ever I don't want people to question why I am not drinking, I order a selzter water with a lime in it.  Most people just think it's a gin and tonic.  Works with diet pepsi too, they think it's a rum and coke.  I don't know why people always have the complusion to be concerned with what other people are drinking, but...  Good Luck,  sounds like you are a very mature 26 year old!

 This was my suggestion too, it works really well.  Club soda and lime, even with a spash of cranberry for you so it tastes good...best way to go!

I was t-total for 4 years which is quite a feat in Scotland.  I have to agree with the comment about other people being concerned with what you drink...why?  It's just so much easier to have the glasses that look like they contain alcoholic beverages rather than to explain for the millionth time that you don't want any alcohol!

I agree with the club soda with a lime approach. I looks like you're still being social without coming of too preachy. It sucks that people in general can't just accept the fact that you don't want to drink. I totally have been in your shoes though.  

hey,

I'm trying to cut back on alcohol as I think its my biggest vice, on a night out i'll drink far too much and eek sometimes get 'drunk food' to go with it. These tips are really usefull. I've got a party on sat so will try them out. Trouble is I'm a student and drinking games are standard procedure for a night out. I'm hoping my will power is strong enough. Must keep reminding myself the calorie content of alcohol, I don't want to undo my entire week in one night!

This is the HARDEST part for me. I am constantly peer-pressured to drink, and I just tell people that I am sick of drinking. All my friends buy me drinks even though I don't want them! They actually tell me everytime that I am 'NO FUN' anymore!! Just because I dont get hammered and do stupid things.

Oh well, they are just going to have to deal with it, but its really really frustrating in a university scene.

ok so my girlfriend is having a bar crawl bday party tonight ahhh! i havent drank more than a beer since the 4th of july and im trying to keep it clean and healthy... so my plan is have 3 drinks total ( maybe 1 at every other bar) and then do the celtzer/lime/splash of cran well im not drinking... also my bf bet me that ill have more than 3...$50 which is nice but being right is even nicer... he says its motivation but i guess we'll see

any other tips on how to aviod the evil "A" esp birthday shots

manda129

I suspect that if you have those first 3 drinks, you will probably have more- no matter what you decide now! The alc does something to your brain and makes you want more...

My suggestion? START with the seltzer/lime and have a drink only at the LAST bar!

it is a whole lot easier to use self-discipline in the beginning of a late night then it will be at the end... plus you will be $50 richer! Just tell the server that you would like your drink served in a shot glass and no one  will be the wiser (be sneaky, head to the bathroom and have a word with the server on the way). I would suggest not making an issue of it with your friends- the more THEY drink, the more pressure they will put on YOU to drink- it's just the nature of the thing!  I guess no one likes to think someone else has more self control then themselves or something... so join the fun with your seltzer- and have fun!

Who is the designated driver? It could be you...

theres no dd since its all within walking distance from the house so i cant use that excuse but thats an interesting idea to only have a drink at the last bar... i do wanna have a drink or two tho just not excessively and we wont be in the same bar for more than an hr and i can totally make a drink last an hr...  but ill do soda shots with everyone thats a good idea

thanks

it was a success!!! i actually had less than 3 b/c i really wasnt even interested in drinking!!! and im up 50 bones haha

Hey,

thanks for these posts.  It's great to get tips on how to avoid booze.  I'm definitely going to do this from now on. 

Manda129 - well done - very sweet.

Original Post by manda129:

it was a success!!! i actually had less than 3 b/c i really wasnt even interested in drinking!!! and im up 50 bones haha

Congratulations! That is wonderful to hear!

My neighbor turned me onto one of her party secrets one nite.  I thought she was quite the lush at my parties until she showed me her bottle of Bud Light was half full of water!

She would have a beer... the quietly refill the bottle with water... no one ever knew!