Does dad deserve to say ANYTHING..?

So my highest weight was 145 and I'm currently 134.

So we had fall break and I didn't exercise as much so I pretty much went from 134-136 but I'm back to 134.

& today my dad and I were arguing and he said- you're getting a little chubby aren't you?

oh my God! really? when he IS overweight himself. Doesn't care about his body.

And YES he is my dad but if he really DID worry that much about me he would go with me to my runs to not go by myself. He also would NOT buy junk food and he would encourage me. And does he do that? NO! Also does he ask me how I've been lately? NO! Does he deserve to say ANYTHING about my weight loss?

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sorry for the rant it's just that he's always telling me that I have to lose weight and doesn't ever support me.

my dad used to comment on my weight all the time. i weighed 135 lbs at 5'8" and i was a gymnast. it took me a long time after leaving home to quit seeing myself as fat and move past that.

last time i was visiting my dad, mmy stepmom said something about my dad always likely twiggy skinny women. i was 46yo on my last visit. epiphany!

nothing like putting things together 30 years later.

((hugs))

I don't know how old you are, but sometimes people just need to be called on the hurtful things they say.  Men can be stupid idiots sometimes and not understand that something they say to show that they care can be taken so badly.  Guys are notorious fixers - and this could be a fixer comment.  Not saying this is your case, but it happens.

Tell your dad those comments hurt.  If you're out of the house, say you don't want to visit if you are going to be made to feel bad about yourself over nothing.  I've had to tell my mother I'd just as soon not talk about my weight at all, good or bad, because I'm so self-concious about it around her - and I'm 33!

Personally I wont comment on what was said...I will comment what needs to be said...you may want to sit down and talk with your dad...just let him know how you feel.   Sometimes us dads arent good at reading minds...but if you talk to us we generally can understand better.

Food for thought:  guys think rationally (in general) we normally dont think emotionally so if it was a hurtful comment he may not see it (until you let him know how you feel)

My children told me my most effective lessons for them were those that I went out and set the examples. However, I must say that you need to look at the content of his comment. Regardless of the way it was said and even if it he does not do it himself. If what was said is true then heed it. Imagine what would happen if you say: "Dad, you are right. You and I both need to lose a few. Let's do it Dad". That would yield good actions and spare you the heavy talk, the argument, and the bad feelings.

My dad called me fat my whole life and I was and he was too and the things he said did not change anything. It was not untill he started loosing the weight that I realized that I could do it too(so examples are important).

 You can do two things with what your dad said..you can A) take it personally or B.) realize that the reason why he is lashing out might be because he has some issues of his own. For give me for my language but the best advice some one gave me was " When other treat you badly its becuase they have some busniess they need to take care of that might not involve you. Walk away and remember that its their **** and not yours to worry about". Im sorry that hurt you hun..It seems like you are still school age and it was an inappropriate thing for him to say but take the oppertunity to grow and realizing that every one has problems that they deal with in diffrent ways and unfortunately some choose to hurt others to deal with them ..even your dad. Take the advice of some of the others and try to talk to him and let him know how he is hurting you ( with good composure and calmly) and things should be better. Good luck. 

It would depend on your height as well, but it's good that you're losing weight. As for him, you should try to be the more mature one. At least you're not the hypocrite. 

Original Poster, Your post made me furious because it brought back so many memories of my adolescence and the hurtful things that my dad has said to me over the years.  Even though he himself has always been a little bit bigger, he would always refer to some of the people in my family who are borderline obese and say "Now, you don't want to end up like so-and-so" everytime my weight went up a couple of pounds.

Now, if your pops is anything like mine, he's probably just completely oblivious to how much those sort of comments hurt.  Once he realizes that he's hurt your feelings, he might start feeling really bad about it.

One of the most frustrating things for me is that whenever we were out driving around town and a woman would be jogging on the sidewalk, my dad would ALWAYS make some sort of obnoxious comment.  If they were large, he would say things like "Why bother?!" or "Look at all that jiggling."  Even the skinny girls..he'd have to say something rude.  He thought he was being cute and clever, but in reality, he was giving his daughter a major conplex.

I've realized now that I when I go out to jog or walk, I avoid taking routes near busy streets, because in my mind, every single car that passes has someone like my dad in it making comments about my big butt or the way my bellyfat bounces when I jog.  When I go to the gym, I am incredibly self-conscious that all of the fit, healthy people at the gym are looking at me and thinking to themselves "Why is that fatty here?"

Sorry...I went on a little vent/rant there..but I would tell your Dad how you feel NOW so he knows that its not acceptable to make comments like that.  I wish that I had said something sooner to my dad, rather then living with a lifetime of low confidence and self doubt.

My dad makes weight comments too. He does it about other women, he goes on online dating sites and puts down women that are too overweight for his liking.  Kinda ironic since he is obese himself and has a huge gut and man breasts.  when he says something to you point out his physical flaws and make him feel bad, that's what I do to mine.

That pretty much confirms my suspicion that most of the men that go online and make snooty rude comments about women's photos are usually overweight or undatable themselves....

My father's very similar.  It used to bother me, the comments he would make about me, and others.  I've learned to ignore it, and just not pay enough attention for it to affect me like it used to.  I respect him as a person and I have to be grateful for the financial support he's provided throughout my childhood: this is just another place where we don't see eye to eye, nothing special.  When we're talking, I avoid the subjects of weight and health entirely, and refuse to fall into an argument when he tries to start one.

I'm a lot happier now than when we used to fight about it, or I took his comments to heart. :)

I'm sorry my post brought such bad memories.

Thank you for your input and I'll take your advice. :]