What my dad told me...

About being a vegetarian... he said one must learn to be discreet, especially around other people who eat meat.

Now, I'm a person who will acknowledge other people's beliefs and respect them for what they are, but I expect the same in return. I am slowly approaching a vegetarian lifestyle (emphasis on slowly), and I think that I should be able to be proud of my choice. My father says that people can easily interpret this as a "holier than thou" move, but I think I should be able to communicate my values and not be scrutinized by others.

My dad is a vegetarian, and he's a lot older than me and undoubtedly has experienced a lot, but I refuse to believe that people will respond negatively to what I decide to consume. Maybe that was an issue in the past, but I think the future is bright for non-meat eaters. I never in my wildest dreams ever thought that being a vegetarian or a vegan would be an issue socially. But I might be just as young and naive as my dad seems to think I am...

I've never had a problem except with my husband, who just asks "You're never going to eat meat?  Not... like... ever?!"  And his family, but they don't count.

When I was on vacation with extended family members I never even said anything about it.  I simply went along, picked over the menu carefully and ordered what I wanted.  No one even noticed!  Not even when I got the veggie pizza, the night we ordered in, my husband, kid, and I ate it together. 

You should expect that people are going to eat meat around you, but you shouldn't feel like you have to keep it quiet or somehow 'mask' that you're not eating meat.  If someone asks you why you're not eating meat, or that they heard you were veggie and are curious, then talk to them.  But it's the same with any other way of eating, it's your choice and if other people feel bad for eating meat when you're not, maybe they shouldn't be eating meat either.

Your dad sounds like a considerate guy, and a wise one. YES--I do think vegetarians should be "discreet" about their eating habits, just like I think omnivores should be. That is, I don't want an omnivore telling me I should eat meat, or why THEY eat meat, or how good meat is, or how much healthier they feel since they started eating meat, or how good and nutrient-rich meat is, or any of those obnoxious things well-meaning vegetarians tell omnivores. I think it's irritating. Should you be able to communicate your values without being scrutinized by others? Heck yes! Should you do so without being asked? Heck no! I see no reason why anyone should volunteer their social, moral, ethical, health, or any other reasons for making what is essentially a completely personal and private decision to others without being directly asked--it's none of their business unless they and you want to make it so. Be proud all you want--proud (as I have learned, as a practitioner of numerous alternative lifestyles) doesn't always have to mean loud.

I think the hardest part is when family and friends misunderstand what vegetarian means.  I've had well meaning people serve me chicken & fish (to them it's not meat), things made with beef broth and so on.  I finally eased up on my vegetarianism to accept these things for social reasons.  I like vegetarian eating because of health, not for humanitarian reasons, so it was no big deal.  Then I developed some medical problems (nothing to do with diet or weight) and began eating more protein on doctor's orders.  I still try to have at least 2 vegetarian meals a day.  All the good things I learned over the years are now helping me lose weight, because I understand the importance of a vegetable based diet.  It was encouraging to see the new USDA food pyramid, acknowledging what you and I know to be true.

Your dad is right, or at least in my case he is.

I've been a vegetarian for five years and have had the chance to meet many long-time vegetarians and they agree with me (and also your dad) that many omnivores are offended when we mention we are vegetarians.

People may sometimes feel attacked, as if our decision is a test to their lifestyle, as if we are challenging their moral ethics or are superior to them.

I just choose not to mention it, it saves me a lot of hassle (having to explain myself and convince them that I do not think I am better than them simply for being a vegetarian).

Is there really that much backlash towards vegetarians?  I'm a big meat eater, but it doesn't bother me if someone isnt that way (As long as they don't try to take over dinner plans and not allow anyone to eat meat).  I see it is as a good thing...more meat for me!!

depends on the group.  some people wonder in morbid facination,sometimes I get the but WHY????  or don't you miss XXX(whatever their favorite meat based food is) I just bring something I will eat to any community event (pot luck, thanksgiving dinner....) and leave it with a "I brought this!  I hope everyone is hungry.."

Yeah it's weird. Sometimes I get the "oh that's awesome... I wish I had that much strength" but usually I just get the "ohhh I could never do that". I don't make a big deal of it because I don't think it's that big of a deal. The kids at work picked up on it because everytime they have dinner I'll pick around the meat on the plate and eat the veggies but that's about it.

I tell all my vegitarian friends that for every cow they don't eat, I'll eat 5.

Most people I know who do it are doing it just to be different.  I know one guy that is a VERY good friend of mine who actually does not eat meat, but check this...he doesn't eat meat that was raised for the purpose of being eating.  In other words, he feels all animals should have at least a fighting chance.  I think that is a really noble cause.  I mean, that fact doesn't bother me, but I think that is a really honorable and acceptable reason the be a vegitarian.

...I tell you what, it is a lot easier for him to "eat healthy" than me.  Koodos to the veg-heads for that! ;)

It is kid of "trendy" to be veg these days and I see a lot of kids doing it because of that. I dunno... I don't really care what everyone else does. It's of no concern to me really.

Everyone's diet is there own choice but my boy and a good friend of ours were riding my tail about being Vegan when they were eating pizza last night. They just kept saying "why, .... Why would you not want to eat this?"... I got a little annoyed but then our friend Frank said "Hey, we are just doing what you do to us". We all pick on eachother about everything so it wasn't out of line. I know the feeling of "you're crazy". Martin has actually said that about me before but eh, no sense in getting worried about it. I am morally sound and happy with my decisions and I do not push them on other people. Veggie me is happy and no one else needs to matter.

I agree with your dad. Whatever you chose to eat is your choice. We each have a choice and so let others make theirs.

Many young vegetarians remind me of "born again Christians" going on preaching about their beliefs and trying to convert others who just want to do their own thing. It makes me feel that young vegetarians are trying to convince themself and reinforce their own decision. Just like smokers who quit, or fatsos who are on diet would prefer if everyone else around them would do what they do.  

What I hate the most are retorics about "killing animals" and "holier than thou" attitude. What you eat is what you like to eat and that is that. No big deal and basically of no interest to others.  I consider myself vegetarian, don't cook meat unless we have company for dinner. I don't eat meat, because I feel physically better that way.  There is always plenty of other food to eat when I eat out. Otherwise, I keep my everyday eating in good nutritional balance. I simply say, I don't care for meat that much and stay at that. 

Just like smokers who quit, or fatsos who are on diet


I think it's nice you phrased that sentence like that... esp. considering this is a website for people who want to lose weight and/or get healthy.

Your dad is smart.  You should listen to him.

when people ask me about why Im veg, I am always sure to say something about how its the way I live my life but everyone else should do what they see fit. But you know, in a non-consending way.

If they don't ask, I don't tell.  Need to know basis only.

PEACE

Anola Gail

I find it best not to be in other people's faces about thier  choices to eat, and I don't  want them in mine.

Eating for most people  goes way beyond jus nutrition it is a personal choice.

If you want other people to respect your choices you have to respect theirs.

If someone asks about your vegetarianism, be honest about why and so on, but there is no need to be in peoples faces about it.

Order what you prefer, and eat how you choose. There is no need to announce to the whole table I'm a vegetarian, unless you need to make a special request of the waiter or something.

Don't judge what other people choose to eat and they will be more likely to respect your choices.

You think it's hard being a vegetarian.... try being a vegan.  It isn't merely tough to eat around others at dinner parties and restaurants, it's a friggin' work-out for your brain.  "What on earth can I mix and match here to eat SOMETHING?!"

As for the holier than thou part... THAT is a huge consideration.  Vegans in particular have a habit of silently criticizing everything that people eat, from all aspects.  Try standing in the grocery line and study what other people purchase.

People who have chosen a vegan lifestyle have generally put a great deal of thought into their food choices--more thought than most of the people they know.  The trick is to encourage others to think for themselves, eat/lead by example, and have ready-responses to all the annoying questions like "WHAT?! Where do you get your protein?!"  Answer: from everything.  Duh.

I eat meat, but have tried adopting more of a vegetarien lifestyle. I know it's healthier and I actually love the food choices. I don't have a problem with vegetarians if they don't force it on others. Just like I don't force my eating habits on others:

A few years ago, my family went to Ireland. My BIL's sister also went with us; she was vegetarian. Whenever we went to a restaurant, she had to study the menu to make sure there were enough choices for her. If there wasn't, we had to find a new restaurant. Most of the time, we had to go to several restaurants before she found something that she would eat. Needless to say, by the end of the trip, most of us were eating at one place while she was wandering around trying to find something to eat. And it's not like there wasn't ANYTHING vegetarian to eat, there had to be a large vegetarian menu before she was happy. After two weeks, we were tired of it. Now, she isn't vegetarian and eats meat like it's going out of style.

I don't think it matters if you are vegetarian, eat meat, eat fried foods, or eat salads.  Someone is not going to agree with your choice.

So what?  Do what you want to do for your health, body and mind.  Be respectful of others and their choices and hopefully they will do the same for you.  If not, it is their lack of maturity not yours.

Good luck on your path.

"Vegans in particular have a habit of silently criticizing everything that people eat, from all aspects.  Try standing in the grocery line and study what other people purchase."
I definitely do this... not criticize though, just think to myself... just because I/we have to think about food so much all the time, I find myself silently analyzing what's in other people's carts when I have nothing to do waiting in line.

But I agree with your dad, and what others here are saying, as far as yes, don't go out and preach or suggest others go veg too.  The only time I discuss it with non-vegs is if they bring the topic up, or if I need to explain myself, for example, why I'm not eating so-and-so's potluck dish, since they are kind of offended.

However, if someone challenges my choices, I have no problem dishing out a discussion and explaining why I feel veganism is the best choice for me.