Dancing, Dance Clubs and "the change"

Hey everyone, thanks for stopping by.

I've got a question here that I believe will be the most easily (and accurately) answered by the older cc crowd (older than me, lol. I'm 23).

So! Dance clubs and dancing. WTF? Ok, at what point did night clubs and dance clubs change from the actual social dancing with a partner (I mean dancing face to face) into this crotch grind fest? Was there a certain point that I missed the real dancing phase of life? Are there modern clubs where people still dance face to face on occasion (and an important part of the club being the style of music)?

Sorry, that's a bit all over the place. I'll clarify my thoughts on this now. Basically, I disdain of the current dancing that goes on at clubs. I would like to be able to go out to a club and dance with a lady properly and swing her around, do ecclectic dance moves and have fun that doesn't involve my crotch being rubbed into her ass all night. That ends up hurting.

What is with the scene? Can anyone tell me if I'm too young and missed the time when actual dancing took place (the 70's? Disco?)?

For a guy who likes dancing for movements sake and enjoys spins and jumps and twists it's tough to find a girl at a club who actually understands that when I ask her to dance I'm not trying to rub her butt (and I expect her to move laterally! How bizarre!).

This has just been a couple of weekends out of notice now.

Thoughts folks?

Aaah! I hate it too!

I have found that I tend to have a better time at gay clubs. The atmosphere is usually more welcoming, the music is always better and the guys arent trying to take me home. There is less grinding and more dancing.

Maybe you could take a ballroom dance class. Women there are often in need of a partner. Also lots of cities have groups that do swing, cajun dancing, salsa, and contra dancing. They are alot of fun and involve no grinding. I  am not in the 20-30s age group anymore but I do see them at the above mentioned dances as well as folks that are up to age 80. There are lots of choices. Good Luck!

I've been to salsa clubs that have 'real' dancing.  I think any kind of night club will be the crotch grinding unless they specifically say they feature some type of (non-grinding) dance.

definitely go to a salsa night or something like that. but i do like teh gay clubs more than normal straight clubs. i can dance solo for the most part and just have a good time. great workout for teh quads!

It goes in cycles I reckon, but crotch grinding has been around since long before I was born. (side note, that video made me smile, god I love that movie!) What you kids need are a new dance inspired anthem - for example the Macarena or Jump, Jive and Wail - they change the topography of the dance floor because they inspire movement.

It depends on the clubs/themes you go to, honestly.  The one night I went to the wrong stage where a hip hop night was playing, there was more bumping and grinding than a porno.  When I realised I was in the wrong area and went to the right stage, where an emo pop punk band was playing, there was more moshing than anything.

We go to a goth night at a bar in a different city.  There's only the one or two couples who get a little intimate on the dance floor (us included), but otherwise everyone there dances a dance, not has sex on the dance floor.

Goth nights, gay nights, and any place with a good mosh pit usually don't have bumping and grinding in my experience.

Original Post by azirra:

Aaah! I hate it too!

I have found that I tend to have a better time at gay clubs. The atmosphere is usually more welcoming, the music is always better and the guys arent trying to take me home. There is less grinding and more dancing.

 Agreed! I love going to gay clubs, especially on 80's night.

There's one club that I've gone to maybe once or twice. One side is hip hop and the other side is house music. The hip hop side is all guys trying to hump you, and the house side is everyone on E! Some people actually dance to the house music though. So that's always an option.

the gay club thing might not be a good idea, b/c the guys will grind on you. the dedicated club/club night thing is a terrific idea. i go to salsa clubs or salsa nights a lot, and it's all about the dance.

I doubt it. I've gone to gay clubs before with straight men, and the gay guys just don't start grinding up on them or anything.

Thanks for the responses!

I think I should clarify a bit. I've done ballroom dancing lessons in the past and I can still dance a little of the waltz, lots of the rhumba and a bit of the tango. I've taken swing dance lessons for the last 9 weeks so I can dance that fairly well too. I've done some salsa in the past and its lots of fun too.

I know how to do these dances, I just want to do them in the nightclub setting instead of in the practice hall. I just was looking for a different scene to do the dances in only to find that there is no real dancing going on in the places I went to.

But, I do think that the theme dancing nights are a fantastic idea and I'll look into them and see if I can find something going on!

Also, I've been to gay clubs in vancouver, and the guys didn't really grind on me at all, although I did get full on groped when I was proving a point. Honestly, they just wanted the opportunity to feel me up.

I'm glad, and disappointed, to know that crotch grinding isn't a new phenomenon. I'll watch that video when I've got some time.

Thanks again!

p0nda's video clip made me think of this other funny famous crotchgrinding bunch from SNL.

Ya know, this all makes me glad to be old.  If I was young I'd feel just as out of place with everyone acting like that.  I hope you all find nice places to really dance 'til your feet hurt!  Are there any places that have swing bands?  I don't like country western, but the line dances look fun.  Out of date, I know!

Yes, country western is the way! You can go to a bar and listen to the band and I've never seen any grinding going on there (Wyoming or Colorado, anyway!) In Jackson Hole there is a bar called The Stagecoach and on Sunday nights there are like 25 young women and 15 really old cowboys and they dance like there's no tomorrow....I never would have thought young women would dance with men this old (we're talking 60's and UP!) but they all have a great time and are very very talented!

You should look for some social dancing!  It can vary from one city to another, but a lot of places have regular swing or ballroom dances - the people who teach your lessons should know about any opportunities in your area.  It's not exactly a club atmosphere, but you do get to dance and meet people outside of structured dance classes.  The swing scene in my area is mostly people in their 20s-30s.  As other people have mentioned, salsa nights are also great for what you're looking for. 

Heh, the clubs in my college town all alternate country music (two stepping or polka) with pop/hip-hop (typical grinding).  It's always funny to watch when they switch set

Original Post by clairelaine:

Ya know, this all makes me glad to be old.  If I was young I'd feel just as out of place with everyone acting like that.  I hope you all find nice places to really dance 'til your feet hurt!  Are there any places that have swing bands?  I don't like country western, but the line dances look fun.  Out of date, I know!

Oh oh oh! Yes, this! While I've never done it, a young friend of mine (19) didn't like all the groping dancing either and got into line dancing. She absolutely loves it! Raves about how much fun it is even.

I saw that you are from Kingston..

hahaha you are definately talking about Stages right!?

Ohhh those grimy grimy townies lol

Hahaha you are completely right. I'm not old enough to go to clubs, but I see at homecoming dances and prom how slutty girls dance. It's completely GROSS and trashy! I like to dance with friends and twist and jump and throw my arms around, not have sex with clothes on. I don't know when this change occured but I wish people would dance face to face too.

I have to admit, the reason I read this thread was because I thought by "the change" you meant the change of life.

I loved to dance when I was young and able.  I grew up in the 50s, watching American Bandstand, and went dancing every Friday night, and never saw the kind of dancing in the movie Dirty Dancing.  I honestly don't know where they got that from.  We did the twist and all the new dances. 

There was a dearth of social dancing in the 60s and early 70s, then disco came along and we all learned to do the Hustle during the 80s.  That got tiresome after a while and in the 90s, Tina Turner became my hero because I was getting too old and she was still going strong.  I guess you've all seen that youtube video, The Evolution of Dance.

I hope you all find a great place to go and have fun. 

And this, IMO, is why Ballroom Dancing is superior to today's "popular dancing". It isn't bump and grind. There's actual talent involved, actual contact, actual movement.

That said, decarswell.. there's clubs and there's clubs and there's clubs. I've never seen any booty grinding down at the Swing Clubs. (There's at least a couple of those near me, go see if there's one near you, maybe.) And, as I recall, you were interested in Latin Dancing as well. I'm sure there might be some sort of Latin Dancing clubs as well, where it's all about the hips instead of the booty grind.

I like dancing for movements sake too. :) I enjoy spins and twists (not so much with the jumps yet) and that is why I like ballroom dancing. :)

Also, you tend to get a better class of riff-raff at a swing club than you do the Hip Hop club. ;)

You dance to the style of the club you're in.

If you like to swing dance, there are swing dance clubs; and the same is true for salsa dancing. That's pretty much all they do in those clubs.

If you want something else, you have to go somewhere else.

You walked into a porn shop and bemoaned their selection of Julie Andrews' films... this makes sense to you how?