Dating Game

Ok, serious question here for all of the ladies.  I am a male, 27 years old.  I've dated a few times in the past couple of years, but nothing serious.  I've started talking with a woman about 2 months ago.  I've taken her on motorcycle rides and stay in touch with her on a daily basis, either a text message or talking on the phone.  She invites me over to her friends house to watch movies, hang out, etc.   The question is, everytime I see her, she seems shy and distant.  She nor her family have anything to hide so it's not like she is trying to cover anything up.  I am a fairly confident person but I would hate to "push" her into a closer relationship for fear of scaring her away.  Any women have some advice for me? I'm ready to ask her friends if she is the type of person that just needs a more direct approach.  If none of this makes sense, Good, I'm not alone then!  The question with no answer, What do woman want?

It is so hard to know without a sense of the dynamic between you, but she may just be shy and unsure of what YOU want.  Also, lots of women have hang-ups about making the first move (too many re-readings of 'the rules' etc, etc).

Could you talk to her about it without pressure? ie. 'I'm interested in something more, but not sure how you are feeling.'  If she isn't interested in more, at least you would know and would not continue to get your hopes up over it. (Personally, I would rather the guy talk to me directly rather than asking my friends about it behind my back)

good luck!

It sounds like you are able to spend time together in a very casual setting.  That's good.

Why don't you ask her to go to dinner and a movie with you?

She may be unclear of your feelings and if she is also shy, then she could be trying to figure you out too.  Ask her out for a real date and see how that goes.  At the very least, it should clear up whether she wants to date you or just hang out with you.

good luck!

you know, I have always been so shy that if the guys I dated had made the first move I probably would still be single.
The only one with whom it was different was the one who became my husband. I really did not want to ruin it and let him escape. So on our first real date, when he was about to leave me with just a hugh, I had to make the move to kiss him. I surprised myself but it all ended up well :-)

Some women (like some men) are just shy. She may just need some more time, or a move from you. That move does not have to be forward or pushy (probably best if it isn't). Simply letting her know that you like spending time with her and would love to invite her out to dinner would be a nice gesture.

It's also best to ask her and not her friends. Things can get very mixed up when a friend tells a friend tells a friend and all your motives get filtered through two or three people.

I think I'm the same way as this girl...in person, I'm fairly shy. But that doesn't mean I don't like a guy. I would say go with these ladies' advice...ask her out.

I know for me, I'm always hesitant to really show my cards until I know a guy in interested...like in a practical way, not a distant "maybe someday I'll ask her out" kind of way. But if a guy that I like asks me out, hey! Bring on the fun, you know?

is she just shy and distant in a group setting? maybe you need to get her out one-on-one... honestly, if she is inviting you to her friends' houses, then i think it is pretty clear that she'd like to go out with you... just ask her! you can make it very casual, even just ask her if she wants to go get a drink or something to eat before heading over to the friend's house...

ooh, yes. good idea mel!

thanks kirs10, i was once a dater, too!

Thanks for all the advice!  The more I think about it, I will approach her directly, and not ask her friends.  I know from experience that going behind "backs" is not a good idea.  My intentions are "A", and by the time they get back to the individual, cause we know friends are going to let other freinds know, the intention is now "Z". 

Let us know how it goes, okay? I love this stuff!

And mel, of course you were! You are (and I'm guessing - were) a little hottie! Brilliant!

defintiely let us know how it goes... i think you are on the right track!

ah, kirs10, you are such an ego booster!!

Yes, do let us know!!!  Good luck... honesty is always the best policy.  Cliche, I know, but still...