My daughter is so mad at me.....

My daughter is 15 yrs old and she is overweight. She is very active but the lbs seem to just stick to her. She has lost like 10 - 15 lbs in the last 2 months. This weight loss has put her down a size in clothing. So now she has all of these pants that she can't wear because they are too big. WELL....... I tried some of these on and they fit me perfectly. SHE IS SO MAD AT ME........because I am only 1 size bigger than she is. She can't stand the thought of me being close to the same size as her.  I am hoping that this will motivate her to lose more weight.

Hmmm... well she's 15, not 5. You can't MAKE her lose weight. Often times when parents try to pressure their kids to lose weight, it backfires and the kids eat more to rebel.

Anyways, I don't understand - do you have a question? I get she's riffed you want her clothes, but... otherwise, what's the issue?

I remember the day I realized my mom was skinnier than me. I'm finally wearing the same size as her (and about to pass her) its definitely motivation for me, and mom too. I think we're in a bit of a race. Although luck me has a faster metabolism :)

Heh. It could be worse. Me and my 12 year old wear the same size pants. She's already taller than me, thank goodness. So (assuming I'd want to wear them, which I don't, because I'm 41 not 12), I would have to roll up her pants.

She is actually tinier than me but she likes to wear them baggy. :-)

your daughter has lost a lot for a short time.. Make sure you tell her how proud of her you are!

buy her some new pants, that will probably make her happy. I mean she is 15..going to the mall and getting new clothes was all it took for me to be happy when I was that age.

this doesn't sound like a case of "i hate it that my mom is skinnier than i am."

did i read that correctly? so before she lost the weight, you were the same size, now she's smaller than you and she resents that you can wear her old clothes that are now too big for her.

sounds like she just needs some sassy new clothes in her new size.

down a size - sounds like she DOES deserve a shoppin spree!!!!!!

I can understand her! I just realized the other day that I'm the same size as my mom but my mom looks so much bigger to me! It kind of makes you face reality!!

Her dad and I have both told her how proud we are of her for losing the weight. We have a shopping spree planned for her next week!!!

We weren't the same size before - I was an 18W and she was a 16. Now she is a size 14 - actually alot of the jeans that she is wearing now are size 16 1/2 - 18 1/2 girls plus.

She doesn't want me wearing her old stuff because "WHAT IF someone reconizes them?" I think this is most of the problem.....Most of them are brand new or have only been worn once or twice. I think tonight I will ask her to go through them and tell me which ones that I can have.

I dont think its really relevant to bring to her attention that you are only one size bigger than her. I am not sure why, but it would bother me for my mom to tell me or show me that. If you think about it you are a lot older than her and that puts in her head that she shouldnt weigh as much as her mother, even if you dont weigh a lot more. I think you should be focusing on the fact that she has went down a size. And like mentioned, you said that the father and you are proud, that is good to let her know the bright side! So good job at that! If it really bothers her you wearing the "old" stuff then donate them or sell them to a used clothing store. I dont think its worth it if it bothers her that much. :)

*Amber*

Thanks awmsbailey!! and everyone else!!

I think I will just have her bag them up and we will get rid of them - That will make her feel tons better!!

I guess I didn't stop to really think about how she was feeling...I was just too excited about getting out of the plus sizes.

akamom2, I'm 15, too and I know how it feels. In my case, it's not my mum but my sister. She is 4 years older than me and about 4 inches taller. Yet, we both wear pants with a waist of 30 inches. I love my sis but it really sucks that she's fitter than me. So your daughter isn't that mad at you, just kinda ticked off. It'll pass with a nice day of mother-daughter shopping for her new sized clothes.

I don't know if you have flea markets or bazaars where you live but those are really good for mass-shopping. Granted, there are no Try Rooms - but everything is so cheap that one or two things that don't fit you properly aren't missed that much. A plus point is if it's a charity bazaar - then you can buy what you want for really cheap prices while helping the needy at the same time.

You know, my mom was HUGE when I was in highschool and I was a small size ten at 5'6". I wouldn't understand when my mom kept pressuring me to be thinner because she was obviously not doing anything about being a size 22.  Now we're both a size apart at 12/14 and 14/16 I couldn't be prouder of her.  I also think your daughter needs a shopping spree reward but hopefully you being in the same size range won't make her bitter towards you like i was towards my mother.  JUST DON'T PRESSURE HER. I suffered an eating disorder because of it and I know that was never my mother's intention.

Just don't wear the same styles... there's nothing more wrong than a mother who wants to be her daughters twin! haha.

i think as a parent, if it bothers her you shouldn't wear them. I grew up during my teens years giving my SMALLER sizes to my mom. Gap size 0 stopped fitting me by my sophomore year. I've developed and grown up and now rest comfortably at a size four..but my mother still wears some of my old gap pants! often! My mom is insecure about being so thin, so to me it wasn't a big deal that she took my smaller clothes. She was very encouraging but I know that if it even bothered me ONE bit my mom no way would have taken my old clothes.

Ouch; I'm sorry she's acting so rudely! Don't let this discourage you at all- I know teenagers can be idiots sometimes, and it's probably because of her own self-consciousness that she's lashing out at you.

Hopefully this can bring you 2 closer together and you can lose weight together? At the very least, you will be an example of how to lose weight right!

I am so glad you are taking my advice on getting rid of them! :) I just know how she feels! I think you will see that this will make her feel a lot better about the situation! And it sounds like it is time to get you the mom some new clothes too, go out and have a mother-daughter shopping spree! It will make you both feel good!

*Amber*

Sorry but I disagree with all of you.... sounds like a teenage tantrum to me.  The problem if I understand it correctly is "what if someone recognized the pants?"  They are new and barely worn, presumably stylish... I - A: dont think her friends will be looking close enough at you (no offense intended), I suspect she is being a little dramatic.... B: you are both still losing weight so presumably will be needing to shop AGAIN down the road.... Can you/she not have a reasonable conversation so that you can have the clothes that now fit (congrats by the way!!) so that it is not costing you a fortune in shopping sprees??  I am the mother of 7 - I have 3 daughters 23, 21 and 18, we shop all the time together, we share clothes frequently... we don't have any problem and no I am not a leftover teenager, you can absolutely dress age appropriately in stylish clothes!! 

i think she may be ticked cuz u just went and tried on her clothes without her consent and the fact the pants fit u make her feel threatened. perhaps if u had approached her with "honey, now that you've lost all this weight, mind if i try on some of ur old clothes so that they don't go to waste?", she would be less hostile.

that said, i don't really see what's wrong with u being close to her size. not that i don't understand the feeling though. my mom and i are practically the same size. she wears a lot of 'teenager' clothing too, and although that bugs me sometimes, i know it's really none of my business. your daughter's just feeling insecure. u may want to reassure her that ur not trying to compete with her and that she should be happy with u keeping in shape, cuz it's certainly true the other way around!

ribiron, I think it is a lot different because it seems your children dont have a problem with you wearing or sharing their clothes.

As a daughter who has been hurt by her mother's weight issues, I beg of you NOT to do it if it makes her upset. It may seem irrational to you, but the human psyche is not always a rational thing. Your daughter is a fragile. A 15 year old girl living in today's body-conscience world...just dont mess. I really think that you need to take a step back.