My daughter, the picky one...

I am at my wits end with my little one...well, not really, but I am concerned.  She is REALLY picky when it comes to food, meaning when I set food in front of her, she will play with it, dump it on the floor, dissect it, everything but EAT IT!!!  I know that she eats pretty well with my boyfriend's mom during the day, but she hardly ever eats dinner.  She will have a banana when we get home, and maybe some crackers, but that's it.  Also, I am concerned because on the weekends when she's home with us, she hardly eats anything.  She will eat pizza, chips, ice cream, etc. but I really don't want her to live off of that!  I am trying to instill the healthy eating habits I am learning at a young age so 23 years down the line she doesn't have to worry about counting calories! 

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that she was very small when she was born (5lb. 7oz.) and everyone, including me, is concerned about her maintaining a healthy weight.  Her doctor is not worried, which should relax us a little, but it is still disconcerting. 

Any tips?  She is 19 months old and is super active.  Any advice would be really appreciated!

if her doctor is not worried, why are you? he must see tons of babies/toddler

My two year old daughter is not a very big eater either.  She is tiny, and although born at an average weight, has been at the low end of the growth charts ever since.  I went through many months of stressing about her not eating enough and not gaining enough, but finally after awhile realized, she is just built small and will eat when she is hungry.  When she is hungry enough, she will eat good foods, and always seems to eat a nice, big healthy lunch at daycare, but meals with me are hit or miss and thats exactly how I treat them.  If she doesn't eat it, it gets removed, and she is finished with that meal.  I can't count how many meals I put in front of her that result in two or three bites and her telling me she is done.  I did not want to fall into the trap of giving her junk like chicken nuggets and fries every night for dinner.... sure she will most likely eat it, but I want her to learn healthy habits.  I think at 19 months, I was lucky if she ate one solid meal a day (and that was usually lunch at daycare).  Their appetites really slow down in their toddler years.  To make sure she was getting enough iron and all the other stuff she needed, I kept her on Toddler formula until she was about 18/19 months instead of just milk, but other than that.... the meals I offer her for breakfast, lunch, and dinner are generally healthy.  She does get treats from time to time, but usually only on special occassions or if we are on vacation.  I have noticed when she goes through growth spurts, her appetite goes into overdrive and all of a sudden, my little bird eats everything in sight.  If she skips a meal, I will offer fruit, veggies, or some other healthy snack in between, and I will often offer her a yogurt after her meals, but NO junk.  Toddlers, in general, are picky eaters.  I can offer my daughter carrot sticks for weeks in a row where she won't touch them and then one day, she decides thats all she wants to eat.  The same applies to many other foods, I just always offer a good variety, let her eat what she wants, take it away if she starts to play with it, and limit meal times to a reasonable length of time.  The worst thing you can do is give in and start giving her Pizza and ice cream all the time.  Kids won't let themselves starve.  Also, remember, their tummies are very small, it may take only a tbls of veggies to fill them up. 

The only other piece of advice I can give, if she is a big milk drinker, limit that to ~16 oz. a day, because they can fill up on milk and then not want to eat other things that they need. 

At 28 months, my daughter now normally eats a reasonable breakfast, most of the time a reasonable lunch, and with dinner.... hardly ever eats it.  She also has ~2-3 snacks a day.  I never know what she is going to eat though, she had chicken, a piece of wholewheat toast, and broccoli on her dinner plate last night (all of which I know she likes) and she only ate the broccoli.... go figure. 

Try to relax about it and don't make mealtime a struggle.  If your doc isn't worried, then try not to worry either... although I know it is tough sometimes (We went almost a whole week with very little eating this past week because her 2 year molars were coming in.  You bet I worried at least a little!)

 

Thanks, manta515!  I guess I need a little reassurance from time to time because none of my friends or peers have kids, or if they do, the kids are much older.  It also doesn't help that her 3 year old cousin eats like a horse (which probably attributes to him being overweight already) and my in-laws think that is normal. 
I only give her bad stuff on certain occasions, too, usually her meals consist of veggies, whole grains and organic meats.  She is our first child, and we both don't have much experience with children, so we have to learn everything.  I believe that she is teething as well, so she might not feel like eating because of that. 
I find that I don't usually freak out about it, but when everyone around me starts, it's hard not to, especially when I second guess my skills! 

Thanks again, and I will try not to stress!! :)

And you know what,  I've never heard of a healthy normal child starving themselves, but I have heard that until the age of 5 a child will naturally stop eating when they are full.... but I have three kids and I'm not sure I quite believe that one.

My kids aren't picky eaters thankfully, but I have always allowed them to always have 2 options at dinner time, eat or not eat.  Meaning, they can eat what we are having for dinner, or they can choose to go without.   And I guess it must be working!  Sometimes they just aren't hungry and don't eat much and sometime when my middle son was 2 and decided he didn't like what we were having he didn't eat, but he never complained he was hungry - but ate like a horse in the morning.

So I would just do what you are doing, offer healthy choices and if she doesn't eat, maybe she's just not hungry!!   

lol-   its amazing, I have those same two choices at dinner! 

I think my dad has told me this a hundred times since my first was born.  My pediatrician told them when I was a baby- "they'll eat when they're hungry."

As long as you don't let them snack all day on junk, they will eat something. 

Is her Doctor concerned?  I would talk to the doctor's office to see if they have any advice.  My daughter was placed on pediasure because she was on the low end of the healthy weight.  She's fine now. 

I do think that children will eat when they want to eat.  So, do not fret too much about what your child is eating/not eating.  Once again, if you are super concerned, call the doctor.  :)

Original Post by crazineko:

Is her Doctor concerned?  I would talk to the doctor's office to see if they have any advice.  My daughter was placed on pediasure because she was on the low end of the healthy weight.  She's fine now. 

 That's proabably the lamest thing about my worry; her doctor isn't concerned.  He did suggest to put her on Pediasure if she wasn't gaining weight, but she seems to be steadily gaining.  He also suggested giving her a lot of healthy snacks throughout the day if she didn't want to eat a full meal.  Her dad is a picky eater, too, so it might be genetic! 
I ask the Dr everytime we go in if she is okay, to which he always answers yes.  But since she was so small when she was born, and still towards the lower percentile in weight for her age, and because I am a mom, I worry. 
Thanks for all the reassurance; sometimes as a mom you really need that because everyone expects you to have all the answers when you don't even have one!!!

My son is the same way, he eats very little most of the time.  He is at the lower range of normal weight and was underweight for a while.  His Dr. said to keep giving him all sorts of foods and try new things and not to worry about him being under weight...her theory in a couple years I shouldn't have to worry about him being overweight.