How do you deal with your family

How do you deal with families that are completely determined to live off nothing but junk food, when you want to eat healthy?

My parents are always yelling at me that my "crap" (by crap they mean vegetables) is clogging up the fridge, and not leaving enough room for the 2 bags of cookies 2 bags of chips and a pecan cake that are in there currently.

Everytime I see them eating all this stuff I feel like I die a little bit inside. They refuse to exercise and refuse to eat vegetables. I've tried cooking like a big pot of broccoli and carrots or whatever that I was having with dinner and offering them some, and they always say no and it ends up getting wasted. 

I feel like they're all going to die of a heart attack any second. It makes me really worried and depressed almost.

It would be one thing if this was just the way they ate occasionally, but they eat vegetables in moderation, and nothing else that way...

What can I do? I've tried just being the good example. They make fun of me like I'm a freak. 

Help.

I really don't know what to say except I know where you're coming from.  My fiance lives on 90% Wavy Lays Potato Chips, M&Ms, and Coca Cola

The other 10% of his food is when he actually eats what I cook for dinner which is usually pretty healthy.

I've just learned to deal with it.  He knows what he eats is HORRIBLE for him but he's an adult and has to make his own decisions.

It is very very VERY frustrating though I know.

Ignore them. At least you know you're going to live a better and healthier life.

My dad is pretty much the same - he lives off processed meats, ready meals, crisps, bagfuls of salted nuts in one go, cookies, cakes, flapjacks, cereal bars etc. and does little exercise. He thinks his once a month jaunt to the gym and occasional social game of veterans hockey is enough to allow him to drink his entire weight in alcohol every night when he comes home after work because he's stressed. And he eats vegetables once a week when he's forced to for sunday roast. And never eats fruit. The thing is, his dad died of a heart attack and his mum has just had a stroke, so you would have thought that would be a wake up call for him to take better care of his health, but apparently not. I've tried sitting down and talking nicely to him about it and explaining that I worry about him, but it's never made any difference so now I've given up. You can't make them change, sadly, however much you want them to for their own good, unless they WANT to change themselves.

And at university, I have a fridge and freezer full to bursting with pretty much all just fruit and veg. I never have takeaway wen my flatmates order in because I can't stand the salt and grease and stuff. I much prefer to eat a ton of veggies. They all make jokes about it all the time and make fun of me (in a friendly way of course) and I've just learnt to accept their eating habits in the same way that they are learning to accept mine. If they want to live off pot noodles, ready meals and toast then far be it from me to try to change that!

But you're certainly not the only one with a family/friends like that. Take care of number one - it sounds selfish but its all you can really do I think.

PS - if you ever cook a big pot of broccoli for your family and they decline it and you end up with leftovers, post the extra my way! I ADORE broccoli - my fave veggie, especially when its cooked and then cold as leftovers. Cold leftover veggies are amazing!

Original Post by driftpsychosis:

Ignore them. At least you know you're going to live a better and healthier life.

That's the part that bothers me. I'm kind of fond of them and want them to stay around a while, you know?

I'm sorry to be an adult butting in, but your post moved me.  It's hard for you right now but it will get better.  How most of us deal with it is to get our educations, grow up and move out.  It's really nice!  Soon you'll be independent.  I do understand your concern for their health, but there's probably nothing you can do.

I didn't mean to intrude though.

   I can relate to you. It makes me want to cry when they eat a huge meal of fried foods then later eat so much icecream and potato chips it is a wonder how they keep it all down.

   Yesterday we all went to Chili's. I saw that everything on the menu was full of grease, butter, and who knows what else. I ordered a small garden salad with no dressing or cheese. After the waitress left, my dad accused me that I had an eating disorder-which I don't- because I have been doing this sort of thing for months and I have lost weight. Then I started crying trying to say that I ate healthy. I went to the bathroom and composed myself-with mom's help who is a nurse and believes me, thank goodness- and we both explained back at the table that a huge bowl of icecream and potato chips every night with the tv dinners and fried foods is not at all a balanced diet and I am trying to do my body some good.

What I will do is I cook for my family. I guess on the weekends cook some soup and rice or corn. It is hard but it embarresses them when their daughter cooks supper and buys the groceries. I only just started this last night making delicous squash and turkey soup, but it embaressed them enough that mom has started cooking again.

I ate a banana later after that meal anyway if anyone was wondering...

My parents are always yelling at me that my "crap" (by crap they mean vegetables) is clogging up the fridge, and not leaving enough room for the 2 bags of cookies 2 bags of chips and a pecan cake that are in there currently...

... What can I do? I've tried just being the good example. They make fun of me like I'm a freak. 

Wow. Seriously. Wow.

I'm afraid you can't force them to change. Like you can't make a smoker stop smoking, an alcoholic stop drinking, or force someone suffering with anorexia to just eat - you cannot make them change when they do not want to because they will not commit. Stick through it and continue to do what you know is healthy for yourself. If you need to and if their heckling grows to a point that it is rude, turn to them and tell them honestly: "I am choosing to eat as I please, just as much as you are. If I want broccoli, I can have broccoli. If you want pecan pie, you can have pecan pie. But am I making fun of you for it?"

Beyond that... little you can do.

World_of_crayons: You may not have an eating disorder but you didn't need to just get a side salad with no cheese or dressing. If you're going out to eat then you can afford one meal that's higher calorie. One day won't hurt you - and you wouldn't have had to scrape your plate clean either. Still, I understand where you're coming from, but remember in the future.

Cooking for your family is great but it's like I wrote to the OP above: you can't force change if they don't want it. So keep cooking for yourself, certainly, but remember you cannot force a change.

I understand how you feel. When I was home for the holidays my mom got so mad at me for wanting two green vegetables with dinner. She did not see why it mattered since she had potatoes and carrots covered in beef drippings (and I don't eat beef!) She was furious with me. She doesn't care to understand why I enjoy eating healthy and why it is important to my health.

I don't want my family to think I am judging them by eating unhealthy food. I would hope that they see how I like eating healthy and then they would want to as well. Its a constant issue with the family.. especially since my brother in law is extremely over weight. Honestly I would love to know how to solve this problem.

The only way I know to help minimize this problem is by being home for only a few days at a time. Living at home must be tough for you. I would hate to have to defend my healthy food in the fridge every day! good luck trying to deal with the negativitly. Hopefully your family will want to be healthy like you. Its hard to make them change as much as you love them and tell them how important it is for them. keep trying!

My family eats pretty healthy, I don't live with them but when I go over for dinner, it's never anything greasy or bad. 

My mom is a constant dieter, I can't remember the last time she wasn't on a diet.. so their house is full of good food.

My dad is the exact same way. He grew up eating fatty, salty foods, and unfortunately he's carried his eating his habits into adulthood. No amount of nagging about his heart health (nagging supplied by me lol) will convince him to change, and I suspect that's the case with your parents as well. :/ You never know, people can surprise you and change when you least expect it. :) My dad has started working out regularly at least, so may be there is hope after all!

World_of_crayons: If you go to Chilis agains some time soon, check out their guiltless grill menu. They have a yummy grilled chicken sandwich w/ a side of beans or a salmon meal, and both are about 500 calories, which is pretty reasonable. That way you don't have to get a boring old side salad. :P

aigirl14, I didn't know 500 calories was good for just one meal. How many calories is one suppose to consume at lunch? I thought it was just a mid-day snack...?

Ignore them, and start living healthier for you, because if you don't you won't achieve your weight loss goals.

I feel sorry for my dad D;

He's trying to lose weight and i'm trying to help him but he never eats really in the day and then at night he eats like a pig! Though he gets mad at me when I point it out too him.

And my mom ; she used to be very thin and now she eats ALOTT ; and it's all very high sodium and full of butter and fat..though she exercises almost everyday xD

Annnyway ;

Like everyone else has been saying ; eat what you want! They cant force food down your throat! Yeah! ; YEAH! :DD

Lolll ; i'm not really good at advice (actually im not good AT ALL) but I just needed to rant somewhere about my dad and mom

Heh

You have to eat at a minimum 1500 calories a day because you're still a teen. If that's your goal and you eat 3 meals a day, then each meal should be about 500 calories unless you wish to do it differently. If you eat 500 calories for lunch that leaves you at least 1000 calories for breakfast and dinner. And depending on your stats and activity level it is likely that you need more than 1500 calories. Every person is different on where they would like to allot their calories. Some people feel better "spending" their calories early and eating a lighter dinner and some people like hearty dinners. It's a personal preference. Note that in circumstances like a meal out you might want to tweak your calorie allotment from what it usually is...you know? even if you normally eat a light lunch that day you could eat a heavier lunch and a lighter dinner.

My family eats out ALL the time. We're financially comfortable and my dad enjoys restaurants a lot. We also NEVER go to chains because my parents find them to be low class so we're always eating in these cafes and bistros and fancy restaurants where there's no nutritional information available anywhere and no "weight watchers" or "guilt free" menus (and who KNOWS what kind of oils and sauces they put in all that delicious food). It wreaks havoc on my diet and is a huge contributor to WHY my parents are overweight. It's rough for me and sometimes I have to throw a mini fit to have my parents let me stay home (it's not like I'm refusing to go to dinner on a special occasion or anything, but when I ate out for dinner the night before and I have a planned lunch the next day, I do not WANT OR NEED to go out to eat). It's also a big part of why I'm learning (or trying to) learn to cook. My mom will buy me whatever I want at the grocery store so I'm coming up with meal plans for myself to eat when my parents get takeaway. Restaurants can be ok in moderation but the way my family eats out is really excessive and I get really frustrated with it. Just because it's a salad doesn't mean it's healthy and doesn't mean it's as good or as satisfying as a salad I would make in my kitchen. It's very frustrating when I'm PERFECTLY happy - thrilled even - with 4 oz of salmon, a baked sweet potato, and spinach and my parents DEMAND I eat out with them.

My dad is the worst eater imagineable, He skips breakfast then eats at around 1pm and by that time hes ravenous so he scarfs everything in sight.

Bacon sandwiches, fatty chips, always whole milk, buttery toast. Infact the only vegetables he likes are cauliflower and broccoli, sprouts and the only fruit he will eat is blueberries. He has a terrible diet, doesnt eat regulary and he never eats healthy. It worries me terribly but although Ive told him the consequences of eating like this he still does it. Its his decision to eat like that just like its your parent decision to eat the way they do. Its hard to accept that but its true all you can do is keep yourself healthy

Hey veggieyum, it's a really tough position. Unfortunately you cannot force people to change if they don't want to. My father in law, never took care of himself, he had diabetes, lost his vision and when we showed our concern he would say he didn't care about living if it meant depriving himself of food he liked. Unfortunately, he died of a heart attack at the age of 50. Had he survived that, it might have been his wake up call. My father was more fortunate, he also suffered a heart attack but he learned his lesson at takes better care of himself now. Sometimes it takes a wake up call, sometimes a lot of patience and more information.

Keep informing them but try not to force anything on them as that may make them only despise your "crap" (can't believe they said that!) even more. Are they 50 yet? If so they should do a colonoscopy, no veggies means very bad colon and the doctor may pull their ears a bit. Are you strictly vegetarian? If so, that's maybe one the reasons they feel so strongly against your veggies. It would be good to cook their favorite meals in a healthier way, lean meats, add more fish if they like it. I buy frozen french fries for my kids, but I always bake them in the oven, which reduces a bit the amount of fat. Same for chicken nuggets, fish sticks. Chips, they could have the baked ones.  Pepridge Farm has a whole wheat white bread, it's like the white but with whole grains. See what I mean? Find them some better alternatives without sacrificing their taste. Even cakes, I remember weight watchers used apple sauce as substitute for butter. They can have the cholesterol free eggs or egg whites, turkey bacon, use more extra virgin olive oil instead of butter. Bit by bit, they reduce their fat intake and you add some fibers and grains. Don't try to change them at once, trick them and readapt their tastes slowly. And even for the carrots and broccoli, prepare them with caramelized onions with extra virgin olive oil. Some people just don't eat cooked veggies as such, you have to give it some punch.

And information, leave around the house and in the bathroom! magazines or online articles that write about disease statistics and eating habits, something to shock them, at least try. You know, like those anti smoking adds showing pictures of lung cancer, or that horrible tv comercial with a guy with a whole in his throat due to throat cancer. It makes me shiver. Or the other way around, habits that make you live longer, younger and healthy like bluezones.com that was talked about on Oprah. or magazines with yummy healthy recipes with colorful mouth watering pictures. Knowledge is power. I don't know if you have a similar saying here, but in Brazil we have one that says something like that "soft water on hard rock, hits enough till digs a hole". That's right, you and info are the water and your parents the rock. You can help them. It's a long term project but so worth it. It's wonderful that you care so much about your parents, as it should be. Many just take it for granted. And no matter their position, stand on your own, there's nothing "freaky" about being healthy, you're ahead us all for adhering to a healthier lifestyle at a younger age.