How do you deal with a jealous partner???

Since I've lost some weight I've gained some confidence.   And recently my man has been very insecure.  Never in the past has he been jealous of me so I don't really know how to handle the change.  But I've learned that it's really annoying, irritating, and time consuming when your being accused.  I feel so suffocated!  I hope this phase will pass for him so things can go back to normal.  Anyone have an overbearing partner?  How do you deal with them?  

He's probably scared that now that you've lost weight and gained some confidence, you'll think you're too good for him. Talk to him, try to reassure him you love HIM and aren't leaving him.

I think that in most cases jealousy can make someone feel a little bit good because you're being wanted by ur partner, but when he is questioning you then I think that its headed to a dangerous territory.  I think you really need to sit him down  and tell him that you love him and that he is the only man for you.  He really loves you and obviously is afraid to lose you.. sounds like a great guy who needs to be reassured! congrats on the new confidence:)

Trust me, I've tried.  Seems like he's made up his mind.  Yesterday he wouldn't even let me go shopping alone.  He wants us to everywhere together from now on.  I don't know how to live like that. 

oh ok thats kinda taking it far, what is he afraid of? he should be happy of ur accomplishments!

ew. if you've talked to him, and assured him you care for him and aren't doing anything wrong and he doesn't believe you, then tell him to beat it. or tell him if he doesn't stop acting that way, you are going to leave. you shouldn't have to live like that!

i mean, if i were you i'd be pissed and insulted. he wasn't jealous over you before, but now you've lost weight and suddenly he is? ew. 

oh, and the fact that you say he wouldn't "let you" do something...what is up with that? no man in my life is EVER going to forbid me to do anything on my own. no freakin way.

He's afraid that I will fall for someone else.  I reassured him already but I guess he's more worried about other people.  I told him I wouldn't risk our 8 year relationship. 

Jules your totally right.  That's what really annoys me why care so much now.

*considers* How does he feel about some sort of therapy? I know, in general, guys aren't big on therapy of any sort, but... it sounds like maybe the problem is a little deeper than you, yourself, could handle on your own.

and what do you do when he tells you that he's going shopping with you?

I explained to him that it's fine if we go together but sometimes I'll want some time away from him.  He thinks it's better if we do everything together.  It wasn't like that in the past so why like that now.  I'm just angry.

Because when I was fat, he didn't seem to care but now he makes everything hard for me.  What's up with that.  My feelings are hurt. 

you should totally be angry you are the same person and you don't deserve him treating you like you're someone that cannot be trusted.. you're an adult its not like ur going to runaway with any guy that talks to you!  nonono not right at all.. if you don't put a stop to it now its going to get worst.

he thinks it's better you do everything together? well what about what YOU think?

Original Post by buddymay:

I explained to him that it's fine if we go together but sometimes I'll want some time away from him. He thinks it's better if we do everything together. It wasn't like that in the past so why like that now. I'm just angry.

Because when I was fat, he didn't seem to care but now he makes everything hard for me. What's up with that. My feelings are hurt.

I remember when my fiancee felt the same way, that the two of us should be together doing everything together.

Then she found other things to do with her time. She joined a church choir, and then a second more select choir. And I joined CC, and made a community for myself here, complete with occasional meetups.

I'm not really part of her church community, nor she a part of CC, really, but we learned to respect each other's social circles, and realized that, really, we could do some things alone and some things together and it worked.

Maybe he needs to find something that he can do by himself. Does he have any sort of activity club or social circle that gets him out of the house that doesn't include you?

He does he's just insecure.

I think, then, that if he's not willing to listen to you, not willing to get professional help, et. al., then you need to give him the lowdown.

Tell him, as fairly as you can, while still being fair to yourself.. that you don't like this behavior, that he's pushing you away and upsetting you, that you love him, but this.. just isn't acceptable.

Because it's not.

ditto!

Thanks for the advice, will do.  I guess I can't do much but will have to just wait and see if he'll change.  I do love him very much but getting very impatient.

Well... I think people don't really change-- not with personality things.

Best of luck though.

Original Post by alibuch:

Well... I think people don't really change-- not with personality things.

 AGREED!

Kick his a** to the curb

Bah- forgive me, I'm in a pissy mood