How to deal with "skinny moms".

I'm not sure if I'm the only one who has gone through this but at an average weight 118 pounds at 5'4 I too can be a little down when it comes to shopping for clothes. I had a child nearly 3 years ago and I've finally realized I will never be my pre-pregnacy weight and I'll never have the sexy body shape I used to have.

For one thing. it's hard to find shirts that fit because my breasts are large.

Yet I am young enough (I'm 23) to shop in the Juniors department.

Now nothing makes me more depressed than to go shopping only to see older moms that are in their 40's trying on size 0 pants in the Junior's section and looking fabulous. Ouch. And to top it off, they have not one but 3 or 4 children. It makes me wonder if they sold their soul to be that skinny and beautiful. With my tail in between my legs I don't buy anything because nothing would fit right-everything was too tight or too loose.

To make matters worse I take my 2 year old to the musuem and play ground every Tuesday only to run into more stick thin moms with perfect bodies and fashionable clothing. It's frustrating to say the least. I exercise and eat healthy but I gain a lot of muscel and I look thick in clothes even though when I take them off I'm usually more ripped than the average man. I used to joke with my husband that I was the manly one with all the strength : )

So ladies, do you ever have to go through something similar? Do you work your butt off (literally!) only to encounter other moms that are effortlessly skinny?

How do you deal with it?

Original Post by urzahlah:

Do you work your butt off (literally!) only to encounter other moms that are effortlessly skinny?

How do you deal with it?

first, you can't "literally" work your butt off.  second, what makes you think that it's effortless for those other women?  third, comparing yourself to other people is guaranteed to make you miserable.  and that has nothing to do with motherhood.

Pgeorigan, if you haven't gone through a similiar experience- don't bother replying. Being pretentious and trying to call people out on their faults is completely asinine. Calorie Count is for support...I'm pretty sure you are far from being supportive.

Is bringing someone else down and calling someone else out on something really helpful?

Ask yourself that.

Also, learn what a joke is. "Work your butt off literally" is obviously a playful jab at myself at how much I work out sometimes it seems like I work my butt off.

you think i've never looked around and felt like i was surrounded by women who are skinnier than me?

edit: how is complaining about something you can't control (the shape of other people's bodies) helping you?

You aren't a mom.

You must think I am ignorant. Trust me, I can tell by how you worded things.

I'm not naive. And simply put: you aren't a mom. You say how does this pertain to motherhood? well you aren't a mom that has had to deal with weight woes. You are a single woman with no children and a dog...the question is adressed to mothers who have felt the same not pretentious women who think they are more knowledgeable than people they look down on.

oh for christ's sake.  who the **** are you, anyway?  i don't look down on you; i don't have a clue who you are, and i'd say the same to anyone who was pissing and moaning about things they can't control.

feeling sorry for oneself is never productive.  ever.  neither is comparing oneself to other people.  but if you're determined to do so, i can't stop you.  have at 'er.  who knows: maybe it will magically make you skinny.

oh and being a neo-feminist that thinks she knows everything is much better?

COME ON!

I know your type because I've encountered it often enough. You think being married and having kids is a product of oppression, you believe anyone who does not think like you is ignorant. I'm all for gay rights, I'm for equal rights for women, and in college I campaigned with other feminists to better this world but not once did I ever act like you. I've seen your replies to other young girls' post and it may be just me but I detect a ounce of extremism and self righteousness with how you talk to other people!

Like I said, you aren't a mom so you shouldn't have answered.

Come on, please get this thread back under control. Please only answer the topic posted by the OP and do not fight.

pgeorgian, I am pretty sure the OP just wants to have a thread where she can vent and talk freely with other moms about how frustrating the situation is with skinny moms. Please allow that. You expressed your opinion, ok so now move on. You don't need to hammer it home when it's obviously upsetting the OP.

urzahlah, let it go and move on. pgeorgian does have the right to her initial opinion as long as it does not violate posting guidelines.

LET's move on????

i just love it when people i've never spoken to or heard of tell me what i believe.  that's a cool trick.

Can you let it go though?

NYC girl, yes. I've let it go.

I'm angry but no sense in me carrying on.

I'm sorry for my immaturity and thank you for being understanding. : )

Ok, and speaking of skinny Moms I totally understand what you mean. Believe me I live in the land of skinny moms. I take an exercise class severely populated by them. I am not a mom, though I have been pregnant recently, so I can totally understand. The moms of 4-5 kids are WAY thinner and in better shape than me. My sister and sister-in-law included. I must say though, with a few exceptions for the naturally thin and beautiful, it does take them a lot of work!!

I am not a mother but I also don't see why I am any less qualified to reply.

Have you ever considered the fact that you may weigh what you do now not because of pregnancy, but because your body is maturing into a woman's? While it makes sense to associate your weight as a result of pregnancy, you had your child quite young. Most people at 20-21 are still filling out, developing stronger bones, wider hips and their final adult shape. That kind of  body shape change doesn't stop after puberty or adolescence. Most of my friends (I'm 22) have commented on how their bodies have changed over the past couple of years.

It's not a bad thing to get a woman's body, although I understand that it can be difficult for anyone with big boobs to get tops to fit (mine are only a B, but I have big hips instead). The best thing you can do to feel good in your body is to buy clothes that really fit. Doesn't matter what size they are.

why hasn't anyone said this yet?

YOU ARE 118 POUNDS AND 5'4". YOU ARE A SKINNY MOM!

Original Post by liposuctioned:

why hasn't anyone said this yet?

YOU ARE 118 POUNDS AND 5'4". YOU ARE A SKINNY MOM!

They were too busy arguing. I just wanted to say the same. Those stats put you at a BMI of 20.3, which is very slim and pretty close to underweight. That means that if these other women are much skinnier, they are probably at an unhealthy weight and carry risks for developing so many diseases and conditions that those size 0 pants better be darn worth it..

Original Post by pgeorgian:

Original Post by urzahlah:

Do you work your butt off (literally!) only to encounter other moms that are effortlessly skinny?

How do you deal with it?

 

first, you can't "literally" work your butt off.  second, what makes you think that it's effortless for those other women?  third, comparing yourself to other people is guaranteed to make you miserable.  and that has nothing to do with motherhood.

I have to say that I agree with that (though body image is sure to be a part of motherhood).

I'm not a mom, but even seeing skinny teens...beating myself up for not looking like them usually just makes me feel worse in the end.

And you are thin. :0 Boobies don't make you fat, they just help you feed your baby. :D I'm sure you can wear whatever you want and be just fine. Have more confidence in your shape. "Bulky" isn't a bad thing. I'm sure you're just fine.

urzahlah

if it make you feel any better- i am only 5' tall, and weigh 131 lbs, and have 32F boobs.... And i haven't had children yet!!

!!!!!

monkfish, thanks for the perspective :-) - I was about to post my own stats (but the whole conversion from the metric and kilo to the american just seemed too much of a hassle :-))

First off, where are the moms???????????????? That should be posting in here.

I again am not a mom, but I think the OP's point in speaking with moms is because they can relate to totally having your body be out of control because you're trying to create a life (baby) and then having to realize that pre baby body is not going to come back (for most). I do agree you never know what people are doing to get back in shape after a baby. They may tell you "oh the weight just fell off" or "I was wearing regular clothes when I walked out of the hospital with my baby" blah blah blah, but SOME of them are probably lying.

I do think maybe you should focus more on FIT rather than shopping in the juniors section. Juniors clothing are pretty much made for Girls with no shape, no hips <-- which most women gain a bit of when they have babies. Shorter women tend to shop in the Junior section because of the length of the clothes. But I'm sure you'd rather have an amazing pair of jeans that make your butt look like a million bucks right? So buy the ladies jeans and have them hemmed, the tailor can be your best friend. Atleast thats what Stacy and Clinton would say, they'd also say there is nothing wrong with your body, it's the clothes.