Dealing with being called fat...

I have posted something similar before, but I really need advice. I went to the kitchen to get a snack today, and my father said, and I quote "Are you ****ing eating again? It's no wonder you're so ****ing fat. Go for a run or something. Stay out of my kitchen."

He makes comments all the time, but i just couldn't deal with that at the time... and I started to cry, which in front of him is a big mistake. So he flipped and here I am.. ugg.

The problem is there is some truth to it. I have gain 5 pounds since the beginning of jan. but still, those comments are not helpful, and sometimes they really upset me.

I guess the point of this post is, do any of you have to deal with that kind of thing? what do you do? what do you say?

thanks for any advice

WoW.

ummm... tell him it's bothering you &may lead to you having a distorted relationship with food.

...... i kinda dont know what else to say. how much do weigh+height. your father should never say anything like that; even if you were morbidly obese.

I am not obese, I'm actually not even overweight. I am 5'7" and after gaining I am 135. It seems logical to just tell him he's bothering me, but I think thats kind of the point. Does anyone have any tips on blocking it out? I know I shouldn't listen to his crap, but its hard... ugg I need ear plugs or something. But then he'd be super pissed I'm not listening to him *rolls eyes*

WTF!!! your ideal f***ing weight!!! sorry for cussing, but seriously!!! does he take narcotics or drink alcohol? he needs to get his eyes checked! could it be that hes self-conscious about his body &takes it out on you?

 

just ignore him.

Psh, what a jerk. 135 is like the perfect weight for someone 5'7". Try to ignore him, and whatever you do, don't let him make you starve yourself or anything.

Thanks guys... Peace: Yes he drinks rather heavily and does use drugs. But he wasn't intoxicated when he said that... its not that that makes him say it.

I do try to ignore it but its so constant, and he is my dad... its so hard to just pretend those things aren't said. I pick up food and hear him telling me to stop eating. its wierd and it sucks. maybe I need to eat with a song in my head or something.

He sounds like an angry man. Is he like that to everyone?

Sounds like he does more than just call you fat....confront him about how it's making you feel, and if that doesn't help, you should talk to your guidence counsellor at school and see what he/she can do. =/  My mom calls me fat too, but not as meanly as your dad, and I'm really pretty disgusted he says that.

Original Post by hockeygirl44:

Thanks guys... Peace: Yes he drinks rather heavily and does use drugs. But he wasn't intoxicated when he said that... its not that that makes him say it.

 he can still damage his brain.

wow hockeygirl, i'm so sorry you have to deal with being abused by your dad like that. i think you are right though, telling him he's bothering you probably won't help because i think that's his point.

i think you know you aren't over weight and it doesn't sound like his comments are giving you a complex. you seem to know how ridiculous they are. of course that doesn't make them any easier to deal with or less hurtful.

maybe next time, say something like "yeah ok, i'm soooo fat, love you too dad"

don't cry, don't get angry, just say something simple like that and walk away. maybe he'll realize what a jerk he is being.

id probably grap his &my tummy fat &be like, "it runs in the family!" with a smile on my face, of course! =D

is he overweight? cause sometimes when parents tease their kids it's because they could never lose the weight themselves and so they pick on you when they're jealous.

and you're at a perfect weight. i know it's easier said than done, but keep your chin up and try to ignore him =)

He's actually very thin. I dunno I think he thinks that anyone with an ounce of fat is obese. It embarrasses him I think, because he thinks i should be as thin as my brother (also super skinny).

Unfortunately, sarcastic replies are kind of unwise with him, but you have a good idea there Jules (although I wouldn't call that abuse, its just him being bitchy). i could just be like "I know, I'm fat. I'm trying to do something about it." that actually might be the best way to deal with it - ha  what can you even say to that?

Original Post by hockeygirl44:

what do you do? what do you say?

thanks for any advice

What do you do?

1) PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE

2) KICK HIM IN THE BABYMAKER

What do you say?

1) I wrote something but it is innapropriate, but something along the lines of &%$#&%$@&%$*^&(^$&*^%#$% !!!!!!!!

 

But seriously! You are at a healthy weight, and since he's you dad... I'm thinking my options are not available. I would tell your mommy... or his mommy for that fact, about how arrogant and rude he is. Or you could write him a letter about how that makes you feel. And maybe.. just maybe he'll take his head out of his bumhole and realize that his daughter has feelings.

 

Sorry if I seem harsh, but this kind of stuff really gets me going. My parents never said anything that rude, but they would say.. "If you lost 10lbs you would be so pretty." "Are you still hungry? Didn't you just eat?" etc. and that was a major cause of my first attempt at dieting (I was 5'2 and 127lbs.. a little plump but not massive) Then I decided that I might as well kill myself through starvation because I never felt good enough. Now that I am really overweight they don't dare say anything about what I eat.

 

I'd TRY to ignore him for now. Eat whatever and whenever you feel like it (within reasonably healthy standards of course)  One day you'll have your own kitchen, and you won't have to deal with him. Don't let him intimidate you, and if he gets mad because you're not listening, ignore him still. It's like a small child trying to get attention.. and you are too mature to give it to him.

 

Original Post by hockeygirl44:

 I wouldn't call that abuse, its just him being ****.

I disagree--verbal abuse is a very real and very damaging thing, and this sounds like verbal abuse to me.  I'm not a counselor or an expert, so I'm not quite sure what's the right thing to tell you to do about it, but I think it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to your school counselor about the matter.  Hopefully he/she can help you deal with this (apparently) abusive situation.

Good luck!

Thats called verbal abuse, and it's very serious. Don't even listen to him, he has a crack brain and doesn't know what he's saying. If it bothers you, which it obviously does, tell your guidance councilor or someone outside the family about it, NOT including us on CC. Although it may not seem like it now this could be doing some serious damage to you. So please, don't listen to him! Also, does he physically abuse you? It sounds like you're scared to stand up for yourself for some reason. Is that why?

That's not a healthy environment to be in!  Are you old enough to be able to move out?  You shouldn't be in an environment like that!  No one should ever have to put up with people treating them like that.  You shouldn't have to ignore him or block him out or try to think of something to say back to him.  Him making comments like that could end up making you fat or anorexic depending on what kind of person you are.  Trust me - my step mom used to tell me I was fat and she would lock up the food and now I weigh 230 pounds!  You really should think about getting some help to deal with this issue before it manifests into something bigger like an eating disorder or drinking problem.  I am guessing that if he makes comments about you being fat he might be saying other things to make you feel bad about yourself.  People on this site are very kind and helpful, but you may need more help than what can be offered here.  Good luck to you and I hope you find help.

maybe nit pick at one of his flaws give ur dad a taste of his own medicine maybe hes balding or got a huge mole idk or maybe tell your mom about his comment

Hi.  I don't normally reply to threads when what I think has already been said by someone else, but I can't help myself this time.

Verbal abuse is abuse and it should not be tolerated.

Like others here, I am not an expert.  However, it is my understanding that in many cases where a father or other authority figure is verbally abusive and uses drugs and alcohol, verbal abuse often-times leads to physical abuse.  I'm not saying this can or will happen in your case, but it does happen.

No child, teenager, adult or human being needs to be subjected to that kind of environment.  Talk to someone who can help.  Your school guidance counsellor is a great choice.  Also, most areas have hot-lines that are available to people who are in similar situations.  These hot-lines are typically anonymous and run by your state's Social Services or therapists.  They can offer advice on how to approach your father about how he treats you.

Don't ignore him.  Don't take his crap.  Don't get angry.  Don't get confrontational.  Be honest.  Look out for yourself.  Stay safe.

I am in first yeat University, but I don't have the money to move out. There is just no way. And I only live with him.

Thanks for all the replies, but some of you seem worried so I'm sorry about that. It sounds worse than it is. He is a good dad, he just says mean things. He's rarely violent and very supportive of my interests. So don't worry:)

Frankly, I posted on a bad day and for some reason I took his crap to heart. I know I can't do that, so I'll take the wonderful (and often hilarious) advice on here and just ignore it.

Thanks for the support!

Okay, first and foremost there is absolutely NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE (VERBAL, PHYSICAL, MENTAL, ETC..) 

You are at a perfect weight right now! Don't listen to your dad. I have seen this same story from some of my friends. They are in the same boat as you are in. I would just say to listen to the posts on this topic. It's pretty good. 

We all just really care! Good luck!