Dealing with frame and size

Does any one else wonder sometimes if we are just "meant to be" a certain shape and size?

Be it genetics, be it environment, be it metabolism... but...

Some days it feels like such hard work and that I might just be going against what nature, who or what that is, intended for me?!

Is it defeatist or realistic to accept I am never going to weigh 130lb again, if nature says 140 and is normal and healthy for me?

I do think that a lot of times.  

The problem is that nature didn't provide the food we eat. People do, they change and add junk we don't need and shouldn't eat. So how do we really know how we should be? If we only eat what nature gives us, maybe we will be skinny and healthy.

Honestly, that is my biggest fight. I love the junk and not the healthy food.

This is going to sound a little bizarre, but a lot of times when I think about what you're saying... i.e. "What does nature intend for our bodies.." I think of different breeds of animals.  So.. dogs for instance

A bulldog isn't fat, he's just shaped that way!  He'll never be a greyhound.

So... if you're stockier, more of a shorter / compact build, the ballet dancer shape probably isn't going to happen..  But hit the gym and you might realize how great your specific body looks with some serious muscle tone!

I think we all sort of know what looks good on us, specifically.  I, for instance, will never have a tiny waist.  It's just not going to happen.  I can get toned, and be a healthy size, but I don't see the teeny midsection thing happening without going under the knife (jk).  But - conversely - I can get some badass legs and tight buns going in no time, its just easier for me. 

I think it's important to strive for our own healthy versions of ourselves, not someone else's shape or size.  I'll never have a shape like Cameron Diaz, and that's just fine :)

Yeah, I totally get this Titantansy

I've spent some time abroad (South American and Southeast Asia) where the diets and shapes and sizes are, of course, very different. When I am away from a western junk ridden diet I just lose weight, simple.  

Sometimes I joke and say I should take a retreat to Brazil and hit the rice and beans for 3 months a pop! 

I guess the western average has changed and I'm less than average for the UK.  I'm not big and I'm never going to be small either.  

Are we always seeking something else (or less in the weight loss case)?

If I were 130lb, no doubt I'd want to be 120 etc...it's good to have targets and not accept the status quo, and if it wasnt weight, it would be something else?

Do we just think about these things too much maybe? I'm fit, I'm healthy...

let it be? 

I live in the States now for 12 years and I wish I could blame the US for my body. Unfortunately, while I was in Holland, I was also overweight. Fries, Chinese and other good foods helped me. During vacationing in France, I already lost weight because the France people are eating different ( at least back then) and we followed their diets. I have never met a fat Japanese person, what are they eating? They have things better in order. Their food is still natural and delicious.  As you said, Turnertower, lots of countries eat healthy for whatever reason. Lots of times, just because that is all they have. 

Many times, I wanted to start eating only Japanese food. Many times, I wanted to start eating real food. Many times, I failed because I know the taste of junk food. Maybe one day, I can resist the yummy bad stuff and become a healthy person. 

I think your joke has some truth in it. If I could just lock myself away from all the food I am eating, I am going to be just fine.

I am not sure if I will be ever happy with the way I look but I will try to become healthier and fit. By thinking about it, we are half way there.

I totally agree with you here. For years i have yo-yo dieted and always wanted to be thin... at my highest i was around 160. last year i went on a restrictive diet and went down to 117 but was miserable in my mindset, rarely eating a lot and eating only certain foods. Even though i was at my thinnest, i still was not happy. I realized i could not live this way constantly restricting, and started eating healthier and allowed myself a treat every now and then, just like normal people. even when i tried my restrictive diet again when i felt some pants getting tight, this didn't work anymore. and so far i have gained 12 lbs but i have come to accept the fact that my body just likes to be at this weight. It is better to be healthy and HAPPY and enjoy my life versus being miserable.

Honestly, if i stay around this weight (i am prob around 130-135 now) it would be okay with me.

So to answer your question, yes i do believe that some people were just 'meant' to be a certain way.

Original Post by titantansy:

 I have never met a fat Japanese person, what are they eating? They have things better in order. Their food is still natural and delicious.  

 While it's true that their food is natural and delicious, keep in mind that Japanese people mostly share an ethnic heritage, and that may include a thin genetic makeup. Not that I know one way or the other, but it's most likely nature and nurture at work there.

I agree that to some extent our bodies sizes / shapes are the outcome of genetics. For example, if you come from a family that is mostly overweight / obese... (ie. both your parents.. most of your aunts / uncles... are all overweight) then you probably have a natural inclination to becoming fat. But that is not to say that you can't still be at a healthy weight. Only, this person would have to put in MORE effort than the average to stay at a healthy weight.

If i look to my parents, family members, cultural roots (pakistan)... id say that we generally are of a medium weight, and small frame. Things to look out for, going by my reloz, would be a high cholestrol intake...

I think genetics account for certain things like basic shape and form but also our socio-economic environments, the food culture and all the associated issues that emerge.

You grow up and see your parents and siblings buy, prepare, provide and eat food and we respond to them, mostly in early age by rote as that is all you know. 

But then it's also what a school can provide you, the other influences in your social circle, what your parents can afford to feed you.

All those lessons you have learnt about food and attitudes towards them as you have grown are part of your intrinsic response to health, diet and being.

There is a massive debate in the UK about class and food.  Literally millions of £££ get spent on our National Health Service and other medical/academic/social institutions researching the issue and they all seem to come to the same (millions worthwhile spent) conclusions that:

Poorer people eat less vegetables and fruit and take less exercise.

It's an epidemic problem of poor diet, poor education, obesity, lack of exercise in the UK now, we all know that, as in the US and other western countries.

But I heard a great comment on the radio the other day, "when a stem of Broccoli costs twice as much as a bag of donuts (£1 for 20 in Sainsburys for e.g.), which would you chose if you were in a lower income bracket?".

Interestingly it is quite the opposite in the developing world, where to eat fast food in McDonalds or Pizza Hut etc is a sign of accrued wealth, overtly in some cases. 

Although the price is the same for us, if we visit a McDonalds in Bolivia, for the local population $6-7 dollars worth of food would be a CRAZY amount to pay for one lunch!  So the restaurants there you find are frequented by the upper strands of income brackets.

It can be overwhelming when you think about it sometimes :

"Say your father has a stomach... you are sure to get that stomach. It's a simple fact of science, don't rely on self reliance, you are sure to get that stomach so eat, eat, EAT!" I love "A New Brain"...

I do believe that to an extent. I'm a 5'9" woman with a large frame and big shoulders. I'm never going to be one of those willowy size two's that the other girls my age are, and no matter how much I lose, I don't think I'm going to be getting the amount of attention that they get. But I'm doing this so that I can look at myself and not just see a giant gut and plus size jeans. I'm done with all of that. And if those girls get all the attention still, at least I won't have to deal with the BAD attention!

I am like that with body shape moreso, when I was 120kg I had big thighs, when I was 74kg (178cm) I had big thighs, I was so mad, because it seemed like everyone, even people who were larger than me wore a smalle rpant size, becasue my thighs are so thundering.

But I dunno, we may have more control than we think, maybe I was skinny with big thighs because I did exercises that made my thighs big and strong like a plowman's thighs, perhaps if I ran, my thighs would shrink.

The same is DEFINITELY true with abs, ppl do a MILLION crunches and sit ups, but since working a muscle makes it bigger, the waist size wont decrease after a while, so if while I am at XXX kgs, and I do millions of crunches for a year to get down to YY kgs, I can't be too surprised about my waist not being as slim as I had envisioned.

But I am getting ahead of myself now, being too BUFF is the LEAST of my worries at the moment... :P

Bigbitty,

Yeah, I think certain parts of us will always remain larger even when we shrink overall, like my damn calves, which seem to want to stay of Hulk like mass even when I'm losing everywhere else :-S

I am working on accepting that, some days it works, other days not so much haha

I think perception and proportion can count for a lot too.

So in fact we can be overall bigger, but apparently f you have a proportional hip-Waist ratio (ie, a waist that is 70% the size of your hips for Europe, you're on to a winner) though this depends on your country of origin.

Other people seem to have different perceptions of how we look too. 

One person's underweight (i.e my mother would be moaning I am getting to skinny atm) is another person's normal and so on...

Hey, I agree with your idea about proportion.

You can be a size 6 or a size 14 but if you are well proportioned, so theres no one body part that is superly big (like the tummy), you can look fantastic and no one will consider you fat! But a lot of it has to do with confidence as well, you have to like your body and carry it with pride.