Dealing with sabatoging friends

I am very close to my weight goal- I have 4 pounds left, having lost 22 pounds this last year. The problem I am facing is that I do look fine as I am. Shouldn't be a problem, but I find that people continually tell me I look great (compared to last year they are right!), and I shouldn't be 'dieting' anymore. Rerences to anorexia, Karen carpenter... not helpful.

I have made a goal (and it is healthy for me: 130/132 pounds- I am 51, 5'8", moderate activity) and I want to reach the goal. If I quit now after a year of working at it I would feel like a quitter. It will only take another couple of weeks of the 'diet' portion of my life before I can find out how to maintain it, but these last few weeks are becoming quite long...

I count calories, eat 12-1500 per day (depending on my activity level), eat a very balanced, whole-foods diet and walk each day.

What do you tell people who think you have lost enough weight and activly try to get you to quit?

I thank them for their concern and let them know I am within the guidelines set up by the Nutritional Council (or some such organization). 

In reality they should be pleased for you...not sabotaging you.  A real friend would be proud.

You aren't a quitter!  Losing 22 pounds is no easy feat.  Congrats! Considering your goal is a healthy one, and you only have a few pounds to go, I totally understand why you don't want to stop now and feel like a quitter.

It sucks your friends aren't being supportive, but you said it yourself: you DO look fine as you are!  They know you better than I do, so maybe they have a point.  Perhaps you should consider their advice? 

What I suggest is this: go for the goal, and then go into maintenance.  You won't feel like you've quit, and you'll be a perfectly healthy weight.  Once you go into maintenance you might gain a pound or two from upping the calories, and your body might be happy there... or it might stay where it is at 130/132!  Just listen to it.  Either way, you will be healthy and have a lot to be proud of.

First of all, congrats on the 22 pounds!! That is awesome!! 

I so know where you are coming from with your friends though in my case it's my family.  I am working hard to get to my goal, and though I have revised my goal to be lower a couple of times (100 lbs ago I had no idea what my body would look like at this point, and probably didn't believe I would get here), I'm still at the higher end of my bmi and know that what I am striving for is healthy and not extreme.  This last little bit is the hardest, it's too bad that when we need the support the most it's the hardest to get.  I've often used the line "ah but you've never seen me naked".  Usually shuts them up.  Clothes can hide a lot (if they fit us right) and though it's understandable that people who only see us in them don't always understand, it doesn't mean that what we're doing is wrong.  Don't give up now!! 

Good luck with the last couple pounds!!  Then onto the hard part...  Maintenance!

Why do they have to know you are still trying to lose a couple of pounds?  If you eat all your meals with someone, then yeah, they will notice.  If you don't, don't talk about it when you are with them.  If they ask why you are only having a salad or something, tell them you are having XYZ later and are saving up for it.  Or tell them you had a big lunch so you are having a smaller dinner.  I completely understand the need to lose those last 2 lbs to get to your goal.  I was the same way.  I knew you wouldn't be able to see the difference, but I wanted to make it to the goal I set for myself.  I ultimately lost 5 extra pounds so that I had a little wiggle room with maintenance.  I knew that normal fluctuations would drive me crazy so I gave myself peace of mind with that extra five and didn't tell anyone what I was doing.  As far as they knew, I was done losing.  Keep at it and make yourself happy!  You can do it and the on to the hard part, maintaining! 

Thank you, everyone!  You have given me good advice.

I, too am giving myself a little 'wiggle room' - my goal was initially 132 (because I stayed at that weight for many years after my first children were born so I think it is a natural weight for me), but I decided on 130 so I can give myself a little lee-way at times and not worry about it. I am not worried about looks, just needing to keep pressure off my legs and back for the rest of the lifetime =) so an extra pound lost or gained is not going to make me feel sad.

You are scaring me with the "hard part-maintaining"...! I have to admit that I don't know how to do that- I have just been concentrating on losing. I guess I had better read up on it so I am prepared. I don't even know how many calories I will have to eat... well, I will ignore my well-meaning friends for the next few weeks (and try to avoid the subject with most) and then I am ready for the next step. If you have any good advice for maintaining, and how to set up a good plan, I am all ears- or make that all eyes =)

I don't know how good I am at actually maintaining.  I seem to be going along OK for a little while and then I will have some celebrations that I attend and choose to eat the really good (ie bad) stuff and then end up in weight loss mode again to go back to the bottom of my comfort zone.  I weigh myself every Friday to keep myself in check.  I just got myself back to the lower end of my zone last Friday because I knew I was going home next weekend for a wedding and I want to be able to go to Braum's for ice cream a couple of times while I am there and eat a slice of wedding cake and some mints .  If I was at the top of my range, I wouldn't allow myself to do that, by getting back to the bottom, I will indulge without guilt.  

Just to reply to the OP - if your friends are saying "you look great, you don't need to lose anymore", the only thing you need to say "thanks!  But I haven't reached my goal yet."  That's it.  No explanation needed, and you never need to justify doing what you want to do to feel better!

Your goals aren't about what your friends think, it's about what you think!

Explain that it's never just a "diet".  It's a lifestyle change!  You have to keep eating the way you have been in order to keep losing or even to maintain.  Most people don't get this, which is why so many "dieters" balloon up as soon as they cease their change in food habits.  Returning to your former habits will turn you into your former self!

Don't listen to them, just smile and nod ;)

OMG!  i'm 51 & i thought i was 5'8" when i started losing!  apparently, i'm only 5'7".  LOL  yeah, i had hubby measure me several times... 

anyway, at 5'8", CC gave me a goal of 149.  i thought that was ridiculous, seeing as i weighed 218 & didn't think i'd ever even lose one pound.  i figured, if i could get down to 149 someday, then why would i want to quit there?

i used to always weigh around 135 in high school & i always thought i was fat. 

30 years ago, i got down to 124 for ONE day.  i found out i was pregnant with my 2nd child & i never even got close again UNTIL now.  i'm so close i can taste it!  (127 today!)  after losing 91 pounds, that would be stupid for me NOT to hit 124 again.  well, i think...

i know EXACTLY where you're coming from!!!  everyone wanted me to stop losing once i hit 169!  LOL  like that's too skinny...  gimme a break...  hehe  i've been maintaining for over a year now at 134 plus or minus 5 pounds & doing great.

i have noticed that people don't even notice when you gain or lose 5 pounds anyway.  they wouldn't even know.  chill...  reach your goal & be proud.  :D

they WILL leave you alone, too, if you keep explaining to them (a few times) that you are NOT dieting & you are just living a new lifestyle now.  you're living healthy!  eating better & exercising!  everyone goes up & down now & then.  it's life.

either way, i'm gonna hit 124, finally.  i don't care.  i'm too close not to!  i won't stay there, though.  i'll just be thrilled that i did it & always remember that.  i'll maintain where i already am though.  ;) 

congrats on the loss!!!  WooHoo!!!