Dear Mom, I have an ED

I've been battleing with this issue for a long time... how do I tell someone about my ED?

I think it's time for me to tell, I feel I really need some professional help (or at least get my mom to stop saying "OMG! Those clothes are getting tight on you, you should go get some new ones"- it's very triggering).

But how do I do it? Should I sit down and talk with her, or talk to a friend first?

I've kinda been basically been living a lie for the past few years... kinda lied that eating made me feel sick and I was coeliac (okay, my dx was because I showed "improvement" on the diet, not through any biopsy or blood test...). Kinda lied saying I didn't think I was fat even though I was doing pushups/situps in the middle of the night because I ate 20 calories over my "goal" intake of 400. Kinda lied about saying I was energetic and wanted to go for a run, even though I felt like I was going to fall apart and only wanted to burn calories.

I'm relapsing and I KNOW it. I'm starting to restrict again... it's sad because I know I can ignore my hunger signals and go through the day tired, in pain, and hungry. I need someone to STOP ME. 

But how do I tell someone? It's not like I'm going to tell anyone "By the way, I've been destroying my life and our family's life the past 3 years by completely lying about how I feel about myself. BYE!!"

if you cant say it to her you could always email this post to her.

i think its wonderful you are ready to tell her don't waste time telling a freind first... just talk to her now.

good luck with your recovery.

Hey Chirpp,

Its really scary I know. My mom was a major reason i had an ED, so i never thought i would be able to tell her. I just recently came out to my mom. I just couldnt take it anymore. I called her right in the middle of one of my breakdowns crying compulsively and it just spilled out.

If you dont feel you can to your mom, go to someone you feel you can trust ANYTHING with. A friend, aunt, even your dad if that makes it any better..

What may really work for you if you dont feel comfortable facing your mom is a letter. It allows you to kind of reveal to yourself how you are really feeling as well.  I assure you it will feel like a million pounds were lifted off your shoulders.  You will have someone that is thinking logically, and that loves and cares about you, to help you.  I really hope you decide to tell someone. I wish you the best of luck!  take care:)

There is definitely no easy way to tell someone about your ED. Are you in a school where you could meet with a counselor and your mother and tell her about it there where you could have some support and the revelation could be somewhat mediated?

Do your friends know about your ED? Maybe you could practice what/how you're going to tell your mother about it with the friend before telling your Mom so that you might feel more comfortable and more clearly able to express what you're thinking?

I agree with Krana, I'd bet you will feel immensely relieved when you tell your Mom - EDs are such isolating illnesses, and so heavily steeped in shame that it definitely makes it almost unbearable to keep it as a secret, and we all know that fear and secrets are what ED loves to live on.

You can do it, good luck!!

My school counselor is a total jerk. She has no clue what she's doing (gave me wrong information regarding what credits count for what) and swears all the time. jerk. 

She asks me if I can control myself about skipping exercise for a day. Thruthfully, it KILLS me to do so, but I lie anyway and say yes (and then go back to my room to wait an hour... then sneak out on a run). Next time (and this'll happen within the next week and 1/2... I think I'm starting to concern her) tell her, "no, I feel extremely guilty about missing a day of exercise". And just let everything go from there.

Or just initiate that I'm starting a "clean eating" diet, that'll get her attention...

-Chirpp

Telling the truth is key to getting the help you need and getting better. Eating disorders are a real thing and we need real help to recover. The good news is you can get better with some professional help!! This is a serious medical issue, even if it doesn't feel like it.  Left untreated, our bodies can get very sick from lack of nutrition, and it can even lead to heart problems and death.  I know its scary to tell the truth and ask for help, but please do it!!

And if the first person you tell is a "jerk", then tell someone else... and keep telling until someone really helps you.  You deserve it.  Please tell the truth.

ED? Erectile dysfunction??

That is the problem with acyronyms and intials they fit more than one thing.

Have you sought professional help?  The first place to go.

teacher61--I don't want to sound snide, but the context and replies kinda points out it's an EATING DISORDER!

Chirpp--Definitely talk to someone, anyone. After the first person knows, it will get a lot easier to talk about it in general, and I agree that you will feel like a huge burden has been lifted. And if that person chooses to ignore you/be a jerk, keep on trying with others. If you choose to sit down and talk to your mom, maybe you can be like "Mom, your comments make me worried. While I appreciate that you are looking out for me, they make me feel really bad about myself" and let it progress from there. Your health should be the NUMBER ONE priority to you, and for your parents too.

Everytime you lie, you increase the likelihood that you will need to lie again to cover up the other lie. There is some saying (I'm not sure by who though) that "what a tangled web we weave out of lies". Eventually, either two things will happen: you will have lied to others (or yourself) so many times that you can't tell the difference between truth and lies, or the truth will come out in a very monstrously massive (and usually dramatic) way. Talking with someone (who actually cares unlike your stupid counselor) about what you really feel is the first step towards preventing this.

I have confidence in you and I KNOW that you can do this. Good luck.

*M*

Original Post by speedangel10:

Everytime you lie, you increase the likelihood that you will need to lie again to cover up the other lie. There is some saying (I'm not sure by who though) that "what a tangled web we weave out of lies". Eventually, either two things will happen: you will have lied to others (or yourself) so many times that you can't tell the difference between truth and lies, or the truth will come out in a very monstrously massive (and usually dramatic) way. Talking with someone (who actually cares unlike your stupid counselor) about what you really feel is the first step towards preventing this.

^^What you've said is 100% true. I feel so caught up in the lies, that I'm having a hard time seperating truth from lie... I'm also starting to hit my breaking point, I've been showing more and more of my *real* (confused, hurt, upset) feelings that I've been boiling with these past few days (almost had a meltdown)... I guess in a way to prepare for them for the truth. It's going to come out soon- I know it. (and I'm kinda glad)