Dear Server...

*I was inspired to write this because I had the worst service of my life last night at a restaurant and I am a former server/bartender... so for all of you out there that have been on both sides of the table, please enjoy*

• I came to this restaurant because I am hungry, please do not wait 10 minutes to come to my table.
• I can read the menu, please save the 5 minute outline for the blind/deaf/mentally challenged community.
• If I ordered a water, do not stick your nasty lemon in it.
• If I ordered a diet coke, DO NOT give me a Dr. Pepper.
• If I have a child that can't talk, do not bother bringing crayons, wax is not on his diet.
• When you bring out my drink, please do not forget my childs drink- he is more needy than me.
• If I order a salad, I would like it before my meal, not at the same time so I can eat it while my food gets cold.
• When you bring out one persons meal, do not wait 13 minutes to bring out the other meals- yes, I understand you didn't cook it, but come on.
• No, I would not like another drink refill, I'll just wait until my ice cubes melt enough to have a sip of water.
• After you have avoided my table for 15 minutes, please do not let me catch you on your phone in the bathroom... seriously.
• Bring my check when you bring my to-go box.
• Don't pick up the signed slip before I walk out the door to see your pathetic 10% tip because you are the worst waitress ever known.

 

This may be harsh, but I dealt with this last night at Applebees.  I asked the manager how many tables my specific server had and he pointed to two tables with two people each at them.  A total of 7 people.  Wow... and she wasn't new.  We've all had bad days and whatever else may have been going on, but seriously... this girl needs to think.

You left a tip?  Really?  Your nicer than I would be.   Ive been known to walk up to servers and say,  "Because of the size of my family, my husband and I tend to be big tippers.   Since you don't seem to be interested in that tip.  Im giving it to the busboy that is going to actually have to clean  up after my crew.  He will have earned it by the time he is done.  You on the otherhand, didn't even earn what the restraunt pays you tonight."   If I am that ticked,  I usually do it in ear shot of the manager.  LOL

 

wow, that's rough!

I always leave a tip because I know what servers hourly rate is... I have been 'stiffed' before and it's not pretty.  Ruins your whole day.  She didn't deserve that, but she did deserve to be dealt with by her manager for sure.

I was a server for a long time ... so I have to reply to this ...

• I can read the menu, please save the 5 minute outline for the blind/deaf/mentally challenged community.

Servers are often required (especially in corporate hellholes like Applebee's) to go through certain items, tell you about specials, etc.

• If I ordered a water, do not stick your nasty lemon in it.

Again ... it's usually their presentation.  Most places I've worked, a lemon wedge in the water was like salt on a margarita - standard.

• If I have a child that can't talk, do not bother bringing crayons, wax is not on his diet.

Do you honestly expect servers to know the developmental stage of your child?  They see kid, they think crayons will amuse them and help mom and dad maybe enjoy a somewhat quieter dinner.

• No, I would not like another drink refill, I'll just wait until my ice cubes melt enough to have a sip of water.

Are you being sardonic or serious here?

• Bring my check when you bring my to-go box.

I want to say I'm with you on that ... but I have been known (as a diner) to have something boxed and still order another drink or coffee or something. 

• Don't pick up the signed slip before I walk out the door to see your pathetic 10% tip because you are the worst waitress ever known.

Again ... there are a lot of places where the server will always try to pick up a slip before the busboy gets to the table ... it's not always to see the tip.

All the ones I didn't mention - I agree.  :-)

If I ordered a water, do not stick your nasty lemon in it.

I think they're just trying to make it look nice for you...and are probably told to?

If I order a salad, I would like it before my meal, not at the same time so I can eat it while my food gets cold.

I agree that's how usually it is done, but you've never eaten salad at the same time as the rest of a meal?

No, I would not like another drink refill, I'll just wait until my ice cubes melt enough to have a sip of water.

Well I don't think she's a mind reader, I think it's polite to ask, I bet more people complain that a waiter doesn't ask if they want a refill...

Anyway besides those points, I do also hate waiting around for wait staff (hey maybe that's why they're called waiters haha). There is a restaurant I like to go to, and everytime we are ready to go, we're sitting around like 15min, often going up to the bar to ask for the check when we're tired of waiting. Maybe we should just walk out without paying next time. It's also annoying when you need something and they seem to be going everywhere except your table.

When my hubby and I get bad service, we prefer the more subtle approach by leaving a tip, but making it deliberately low - otherwise they might just think we forgot.  Of course, they might just think we're cheap - oh well.

My "dear server" would be:  My iced tea is sweetened just perfectly right now.  So don't screw it up by "topping it off" when the glass is half full - wait until I'm finished with it aready!

Original Post by yachtracer1977:

Servers are often required (especially in corporate hellholes like Applebee's) to go through certain items, tell you about specials, etc.

Again ... it's usually their presentation.  Most places I've worked, a lemon wedge in the water was like salt on a margarita - standard.

Do you honestly expect servers to know the developmental stage of your child?  They see kid, they think crayons will amuse them and help mom and dad maybe enjoy a somewhat quieter dinner.

Are you being sardonic or serious here?

to these points... I understand servers are to say their little items, but as her being really late to the table and saying "what are we drinking guys" and then go through it?  it was weird... she didn't smile either.  I worked at Red Lobster and we had to go through a thing about 'fresh fish'... it was lame.  If I was running behind on a table, I didn't say it.

With the lemon deal- there was a whole news story about how lemons have fecal matter on them, yada yada... basically, now it's a big deal that if you want a lemon, you ask for it.

About my child- he had the kids menu from the hostess.  Her offering crayons was just weird.

And I was joking about the sucking on my ice cubes... of course I want another drink! 

Original Post by vicereine:

No, I would not like another drink refill, I'll just wait until my ice cubes melt enough to have a sip of water.

Well I don't think she's a mind reader, I think it's polite to ask, I bet more people complain that a waiter doesn't ask if they want a refill...

that was sarcastic.

If the server's really that bad, I'd have a word with the manager . Say "Look, I'm not here to cause a ruckus, but I have to be honest that I thought the service was really poor today", and explain why.

Yeah, I forgot to mention that part hkellick... my husband (who NEVER complains) asked for the manager. Whenever he came over, Mark started talking to him about what had happened, and the server stood behind him. It was weird.

Original Post by gingerkabureck:

Original Post by vicereine:

No, I would not like another drink refill, I'll just wait until my ice cubes melt enough to have a sip of water.

Well I don't think she's a mind reader, I think it's polite to ask, I bet more people complain that a waiter doesn't ask if they want a refill...

that was sarcastic.

Thank god lol

edit: but then do you expect her to just pour a refill without asking? :)

re. the waiting times. You probably know this already but a lot of this is cultural - Americans especially seem to like quick service, quick exit, etc.. whereas in Europe it is normal to be sitting at dinner for 2-3 hours all told. Heads up for when you travel! (Also, in other countries tips are either not given or are much less - those European tourists think they're being generous when they give 10% here. Heck, for that matter, when I was a kid the standard tip was only 10% instead of the current 15.

Kinda off topic, just thought I'd mention it for those who were planning to travel this summer.

No, actually she never asked. I had to ask her for another drink after finishing off my husbands water =(

Original Post by trustwomen:

re. the waiting times. You probably know this already but a lot of this is cultural - Americans especially seem to like quick service, quick exit, etc.. whereas in Europe it is normal to be sitting at dinner for 2-3 hours all told. Heads up for when you travel! (Also, in other countries tips are either not given or are much less - those European tourists think they're being generous when they give 10% here. Heck, for that matter, when I was a kid the standard tip was only 10% instead of the current 15.

Kinda off topic, just thought I'd mention it for those who were planning to travel this summer.

 wow, good to know.  though if I was traveling.. I'd probably have been more relaxed and also been planning for things to be different.  About the tipping, I quit serving around September '07 and the expected tip from a lot of servers was 20%.  Considering Red Lobsters food is over-priced to begin with, rarely this happened, but people would complain about 15%.

Expecting 20% seems excessive to me and I am not even European. I think the solution must be to raise servers' minimum wages if that is where this expectation comes from. I think this is also a relatively new expectation (i.e. last few decades).

I love that here in Korea there's no tipping. However, service isn't so great most of the time. And you have to yell "Come here, please!" (yoh-gee-yoh!) to get their attention. I still feel a bit strange yelling in a restaurant after a year...

I typically just dislike the servers who don't come by the table at all and then I have to get another server and ask for them so I can get more water.

Original Post by trustwomen:

re. the waiting times. You probably know this already but a lot of this is cultural - Americans especially seem to like quick service, quick exit, etc.. whereas in Europe it is normal to be sitting at dinner for 2-3 hours all told. Heads up for when you travel! (Also, in other countries tips are either not given or are much less - those European tourists think they're being generous when they give 10% here. Heck, for that matter, when I was a kid the standard tip was only 10% instead of the current 15.

Kinda off topic, just thought I'd mention it for those who were planning to travel this summer.

Well in my case it's a restaurant in Finland, and I was eating with 2 Finnish people almost every time (the other times just 1 - my bf), they wanted to get going too - but maybe they aren't the norm *shrug*

edit: oh yeah no tipping there either which is great and I don't care if it's just included in the price of the food, it's all up front.

My boyfriend works for Starbucks, and was a barista for over a year and half before becoming an Assistant Manager.

He lived off tips. As such, he always tips 20%-25%, and 20% is normal-mediocre service. We're both known to leave a $5 on a $12 plate.

That said, I've had such ad service TWICE in my life that I've left one penny in the center of the table.

Just one penny. They know I tip, but they were so horrible they don't deserve more than that. Only happened twice, and I don't regret it one bit.

My husband and I also left just one penny to a server. And it was at Applebees. Our server was more interested in talking to a couple of pretty girls than doing his job. We saw him a total of 4 times. He took our order, brought us our order, brought us a refill on our drinks (only after flagging him over and he was annoyed that we bragged him away from the pretty girls) and then brought us our check. That was about the third time getting bad service at Applebees, so we never go there anymore.

Original Post by gingerkabureck:

wow, that's rough!

I always leave a tip because I know what servers hourly rate is... I have been 'stiffed' before and it's not pretty.  Ruins your whole day.  She didn't deserve that, but she did deserve to be dealt with by her manager for sure.

 I guess I should have pointed out that I only eat at two non fastfood restraunts.   One is a family owned Mexican restraunt where I have never had a problem.  The other is a Bonanza where I am friends with the owner.    Ive only had to do it at the Bonanza and though he doesn't pay them more than minium wage, he does pay them regular miniumum wage not Waitress minimum.   So I didn't feel bad about giving the tip to the bus boy.

 

I must say that I leave much bigger tips at coffee shops and breakfast places. I will leave 4$ on an 11$ tab and so on. It's the more expensive restaurants where I find it hurts more - when the bill for two people is 80$ (with drinks, dessert, etc.) and then they expect you to leave 15-20$ more? No thank you. Especially when you only see the server a couple of times, the place is busy, and you're only there for an hour. I will leave 10$ and not feel bad about it.