Death, beaches and interventions.

Last night, hanging out with some friends, we inadverdently got into a pretty heavy discussion about our feelings on death. When a friend asked my opinion, I gave it without hesitating and was greeted with gasps. I didn't even know people actually gasped in real life. In my almost 23 years I've never been that shocked about anything....

Anyway...

I look forward to the day I die. Don't take that to mean I want to die because that's pretty far from the truth. The best way I can think of to explain the way I feel: Pretend life was a beautiful day at the beach with all the people you love the most. Playing, laughing - basically having the time of your life. That day could be the best, happiest most awesome day ever, but at the end of it, when you get home from all that fun, you are going to be SO grateful for the bed and sleep that await you.

I don't wake up and anticipate my demise, as my friends are taking it. I love my life. But life is LONG. And HARD. And the day it comes to and end, I will be grateful for the life I lead AND grateful for the rest that lies ahead.

Although all my friends seem to think so, I can't possibly be the only person who sees it that way. So... how do you feel about death?

I think you have an awesome grasp of death.  I have that same, mingled with a fear that I will still have things I want to do, loved ones I want to tell that I loved them, babies I want to see born, etc.

It seems ironic, but it seems young people are more ready to die, and the older you get, the more you feel you'll leave behind.  And maybe that is not true, but it is something I've seen a lot of.

What part of the discussion was about intervention?

Original Post by kathygator:

What part of the discussion was about intervention?

 lol. None at all. My friends were talking about staging one, though. They are now quite convinced I'm suicidal...

Death is most frightening when it happens to the people we love.

I associate it with loss and being alone.  If I die, everyone who loves me will be sad.  Or if a loved one dies, I will be sad and lonely. 

The difference between death and a day at the beach is the people who love you are still around you when you get back home.

I have never been religious, but I used to believe in a spiritual afterlife.  I had only a vague since of what it was, but I never questioned that it existed.

As recently as a year ago, without any conscious effort or deliberation, I stopped believing in an afterlife, in a God, and maybe in any sense of a soul.  About a month ago I started suddenly thinking about death and became terrified.  Without an afterlife, I will never again see the people I loved who have died.  More frightening was the fact that eventually I would be separated from my future-husband by death, with no chance of being reunited.

I want to be scared (or hopeful) enough to believe in an afterlife, but I can't make myself.  I want to believe, but there I have no logical reason to do so.

I try to comfort myself with the fact that even though organisms die, our tiniest bits and pieces live on forever.  It's a cold comfort though.

Sorry for being such a Debbie Downer guys.

I've never been scared really. The best is yet to come. But I am not in a rush to leave either.

Now...how I die, that is a whole different story. There is no way that part will be 100% free of pain and/or fear unless I am asleep. I don't anticipate that. I mean, what will it be? Burning to death (worst imo), being savagely attacked, drowning, etc. Not a good look. Not at all.

I do believe that I have a relationship with God. He doesn't force it on me, and neither can anyone else, but even though I was never scared before, that just makes it even less scary.

oplleze: But life is LONG. And HARD. And the day it comes to and end, I will be grateful for the life I lead AND grateful for the rest that lies ahead

cellot: how I die, that is a whole different story. There is no way that part will be 100% free of pain and/or fear unless I am asleep. I don't anticipate that. I mean, what will it be? Burning to death (worst imo), being savagely attacked, drowning, etc. Not a good look. Not at all.

I agree/feel the same as both of these!

oh, and killer queen.. I've contemplated "nothing" after death.. would you relaly miss anything? I liken it to being asleep forever. with no dreams. You won't be there to miss those things.

I sometimes feel like WE are asleep, here. "dreaming" in a sense, and we "awake" when we die. And go back to .. you know, whatever is really there.

I wish I had more to add but my brain is scrambled today. Interesting topic!!!

I don't think it much, its not a concern to me.  When it happens, it happens, I don't look at it in a negative or a positive way.  When it happens to somebody I care about, then I see it in a negative and a positive way.  I won't see them in person anymore, but due to my beliefs I believe they are in a better place.

oplleeze - I agree with you.  My husband is also of the opinion that somehow people can not live life fully, completely and enjoy it without taking a negative view of death.  Thats too bad really - life is about LIFE - not death.  Spending time worrying about death is pointless and detracts from life as a gift.

Original Post by cellotlhicks:

Burning to death (worst imo)

Actually, my DH was in a house fire when he was 12 yrs old and got burned over a large part of his body.  He said it didn't hurt at all until later, and if he had a choice of how to die, that would be it because it was painless.  It would definitely be horrifying, though, I think, if you knew what was happening.

Fire eh?

When I die I was hoping it would involve a fleet of dolphins and two rockets.

Original Post by frokusblakah:

Fire eh?

When I die I was hoping it would involve a fleet of dolphins and two rockets.

 it'll probably be a spider you flushed coming back up out of the pipes to get you!

I dunno. I also know people who were and it is terrible. He must be a rare case. That is a blessing that he didn't hurt. I met this boy who has prosthetics and missing fingers and terrible scars and he suffered soooo badly. I mean, having your skin melt off and all that really upsets me. Plus, the small 1st and 2nd degree burns I've had have been brutal. Can't imagine one that takes an ear off or goes to the bone. I'd rather die of the smoke inhalation. Now that is more painless :)

Actually, id like to go making love to my old husband who was still gifted and lifted and getting too into things :)

Original Post by cellotlhicks:

 

Actually, id like to go making love to my old husband who was still gifted and lifted and getting too into things :)

 NICE!!! =D

I think the later part is key (that's when it hurts). Likely you go into shock when it's happening.  He did suffer a lot when he was in the hospital and they were stripping his skin off with razor blades.

If you die from it, though, there would no pain later.

I don't know, never happened to me - that is just what he told me.  It's certainly not my top choice of a way to go!!!

The process of dealing with my father's death has been a struggle. My personal feeling is that after actually feeling the loss of the experience our view changes. It changes someone's otherwise limited perspective. imho.

i totaly get that and i miss my boy. i cant wait to go find him. that pic of you reminds me a lot of his girlfriend tati. weird...anyways, he died drinking and driving the night of her hs graduation. he was just waiting for her to graduate so he could take her back to houston and start their life together. yeah, i get what you are saying girl. <3

Hugs to WG.

In my experience, death is long and hard.

Death doesn't scare me too much either, I just imagine it as sleeping, when you're asleep time goes by just the same, it'll do that when I'm gone too. And when I'm asleep (or dead) I'm (I'll) be none the wiser.

Now death of others that I love... not a good thing. I don't deal with it very well.