When do you decide to stop losing?

Hi Everyone! Last year I lost 30 pounds, going from 172 to 142 pounds. At my height, my BMI at that point is 23, which I thought I was happy with. I now have an active lifestyle (6 hours of martial arts plus 1 hour of walking or gentle cycling every week) and I still enjoy eating gourmet food, including gourmet chocolate, which I do not have any intention of giving up! For most of my maintainence I didn't have to explicitly count calories, just be mindful of portions.

However, early this year for no apparent reason I dropped another 4 pounds for about four months and then gained them back. When I gained them back I started to calorie count and restrict food intake to try to lose them again, but it didn't actually work: they never went away.

But now, 142 doesn't seem so great anymore. In the picture in my profile on CC I am 142 pounds, and in fact I catch myself wondering if a BMI of 23 is still "fat", or thinking that if I only tried to restrict again I could get back to 138 pounds.

So how do you know what's a good weight for you?  Do you think a BMI of 23 is more than the ideal BMI?

30-40% of women who begin a diet become compulsive about dieting. Of those, a further 30-40% more go on to develop full-blown eating disorders.

I like to think of dieting as a temporary but not risk-free effort to address an unhealthy BMI. We have no way to know when we diet if we will be unlucky -- if we have the neuro-chemistry that gets flicked into compulsive thoughts and eating disorders. It's a bit more like playing Russian roulette with our lives than we realize.

You are between 18-21 I think? You have a healthy and active lifestyle; you eat intuitively; and you enjoy high quality foods and are unapologetic about it -- these are all great signs you are exactly where you need to be.

Between the ages of about 18-25 the bones in a woman go through quite a bit more refinement. It is also a critical phase of hormonal and neurological maturation. You will find even in the next year or two that how the weight sits on you will change quite noticeably just because the bones are going through their final ossification.

At the moment you look totally in proportion and fabulous so continue maintaining. Congratulations on a year of maintenance!!

Thank you so much for your reply. And yes, I am 21!

I can't believe I didn't even think about the points you brought up. In fact I think that I am almost *likely* to have this kind of dangerous neuro-chemistry - both my mother and grandmother have had eating disorders for most of their lives.

I think using your BMI as an indication of healthy weight is a good way to go so to make sure you don't fall into what would be considered as underweight.  I am 5'6" and am now 126.5 lbs which is a good weight for me, I was aiming for 126lb straight which I will probably reach in the next few days.  I don't want to be any slimmer because it won't suit me and I will look too thin especially now I am older.

I imagine it is quite easy to get obsessed about losing weight, especially if you have found a system that really works for you.

My criteria have little to do with look. I'll start maintaining when:

1. In an emergency I'm confident I can put my wife on my shoulder and run down the stairway without much difficulty.
2. I can swim 800 yd while pulling a person who doesn't know how to swim.
3. I can lift a sheet of 3/4" plywood by myself without much straining that can cause injury to me.
4. I can run a marathon at any moment's notice.

I'll shed dead weight, build muscle and endurance until I'm able to do so. Why do I set those criteria? They are samples of activities (emergency, dayly or fun) for the life I want to lead. Most of my life I could do all those easily but age and a few tough years got me soft. I'm just getting back in shape.

My wife says I look good but that's for her pleasure. I take happiness in that but personally, it doesn't matter much. I much rather be viewed by my male friends as a guy who can take whatever life throws at him.

Breakky - congratulations on your weight loss, you look lovely in your picture and not fat at all.

I too lost around 50lb over several years and am now trying to maintain at around 125-130, which is a BMI of about 22.5 for my height. I also really enjoy food and am a keen cook, and I eat brilliantly healthily and hike a lot (and still drink wine every night, yeah yeah!) One of the hardest parts of maintenance I find is wanting to stop. I know I am slim. I am smaller than many of my friends. I wear S and XS in shops. Being thin is a pain for clothes shopping, really. I'm not thin, I'm slim. You can look at my pictures if you want.

I still get the bad days and the niggly thoughts. I still bristle at the girls on this site who have a BMI of 20 and want it to be 18. I know they won't look better underweight but it still seems like a slap in the face sometimes. I still have "fat" days. I suspect as women in this society bombarded by invitations to be unhealthy and underweight everywhere we look, I would also have these days whatever size I was.

You have done an amazing thing for your health and your appearance. If you can learn to maintain it now you will be set for life. I like the sound of your eating and your exercise, it sounds healthy and most importantly enjoyable. If on the other hand you find you are permanently fighting those "last few pounds" - you could go a number of bad ways. You could stop enjoying your food and exercise. You could get underweight. You could start a cycle of yo yo dieting, which is terrible for anyone's health or selfesteem. It's not easy - I have exactly the same struggles as you.

This is a way I try to think of it sometimes: people vary of course, but for over 21s, generally a BMI of 20-25 is "ideal". A BMI of 22-23 means you can lose a stone, put on a stone, and you are still ideal. It is perfect. I do not think a BMI of 23 is fat.

Thanks to everyone for their input!

Bairn,  I know exactly what you mean. But when I look at your photos I can't imagine that you could ever possibly feel fat, since you are so slim and pretty!

Some of the people on this site do have such low goals that it makes me wonder if I am huge and don't know it! Still sometimes I do think I would have these "fat" days no matter what size I was. After all, I am a US 6/Aus 10 and an S in most shops, so I suspect I cannot actually be fat. I remember feeling fat at 138 pounds as well, in fact, even when I had friends ask me how I could be so slim and still eat chocolate.

Sometimes I feel that my need to be back at 138 (which became the magic number by accident...) is ruining my enjoyment of the here and now. Sometimes I resolve to lose the 4 pounds again, but it doesn't last long because I feel deprived.  And yet when I decide I won't try to lose the last four, and try to accept being 142 pounds, I feel fat and useless. It is such a struggle. This community helps a lot though, since sometimes just to be able to talk about it can be helpful.

I just to say something about BMI. I think most people in the public health/medical community, including me, are begin to agree that BMI is not the greatest most accurate thing in the world. The main reason for this is because it is not culturally sensitive i.e. Asian women are tiny and skinny and if you give most of them BMI scores, they are considered underweight, although they are perfectly healthy. Furthermore, African  and Middle Eastern women tend to be curvier and a little chubbier but are also perfectly healthy but get BMI scores of overweight.

Other than that, BMI also does not take things like fat vs muscle into account. If you have muscle you are heavier, but not unhealthy.. right? So would you rather be 150 pounds of muscle (an overweight BMI) or 142 pounds of fat (a good BMI)?

Do you see what I mean? There are alot of issues with the BMI score so I wouldn't get to worried about being a 20 23 or 25.. the only area where I think it may be considered correct is for obesity. So if you are over a 30, you probably are obese and that's accurate (unless you're a massive musclebuilder!)

Original Post by breakky:

Some of the people on this site do have such low goals that it makes me wonder if I am huge and don't know it!

 Don't pay any attention to the other people's goals on this site when they are "so low".

There are a LOT of people on this site that have unrealistic goals or ED type goals for the weight loss. You did a wonderful job and now you should be happy that you were able to do it.  You've had the right focus so far, so just stick with that.  :D

Your goals are similar to mine.  I'm 5'3" and I started between 170-175 lbs.  My goal is 130 lbs which puts me at a BMI of 23.  :)  A reasonable goal just like yours.  I'm currently at 159 lbs.  16ish down 29 to go. 

Hi breakky,  hedgren's made a great point that you're still developing. You're also an active girl and if you gained more muscles your BMI will be higher but that doesn't mean you're fatter. It's just that muscles weigh more than fat. Congratulations on your weight loss and you're also doing a great job maintaining your weight. Don't obsess about a couple of pounds, keep doing what you're doing and you'll be fit and healthy for life, besides looking great! :)

agree with lammoush completely

screw bmi - you should find out what your % body fat is. Probably your doctor can measure this for you. If you aren't doing weight training, you should be. You might be very pleasantly surprised with a little more muscle tone, despite whatever the scale may reflect.

Big congrats on your weight loss! Very good job!

Original Post by lammoush:

Other than that, BMI also does not take things like fat vs muscle into account. If you have muscle you are heavier, but not unhealthy.. right? So would you rather be 150 pounds of muscle (an overweight BMI) or 142 pounds of fat (a good BMI)?

 

Good point about BMI.  Keep in mind that it is just an index, so by default there will be variation based on a number of factors like the ones you mentioned.

BMI is a good indicator of healthy weight on average.  If you are an athlete you're physically elite and don't need to worry about indexes and averages.

To OP: when to stop losing...

This is a personal preference and depends on what you want your body to look like and how much you're willing to work (from both ends, intake- food and output - exercise).  If you're currently at a steady weight with consistant food and exercise quantities, adding one or two 30-60 minute low intensity at 65% or your max heart rate (220-age)*65% exercies sessions should take off the weight.  IMO it's important to take these extra calories off on the exercise end instead of just eating less becasue as you eat less you cause your metabolism to slow down.