Delete please

Would you want someone snooping through your things?

Snooping for Christmas presents is one thing.  Going through someone's diary or text messages is another thing.

Remember that whatever you find can not be unfound.

Yes, snooping is wrong.

Original Post by evanroysterfan22:

Is snooping through your boyfriend's/girlfriend's/husband's/wife's things wrong? Please share any stories where you have done this or this has been done to you.

Gods, yes.

it shows you don't trust him/her. Do you have reason not trust him/her?

Lack of trust tends to not be good for a relationship.

So this is so prevelent in my life right now it's not even funny...

so I made a big mistake two weekends ago where I drunkenly made out with my ex. My boyfriend, of a year, went through my email the next day...and found out about it! Now dont get me wrong, I was going to tell him, but I just didnt want him to find out that way. Yes I was wrong for doing what I did, but I feel he was also wrong in going through my emais...especially because before this I had given him no reason not to trust me.

On top of that, we have resolved quite a lot. but last night I woke up at liek 2:30, and caught him going through my phone! I cant live with my privacy being taken away...as much as I deserve him not to trust me I almost feel violated.

So snooping, is bad! either way you look at it!

wrong, yep.  if you don't trust your partner, something is wrong (with her/him, with you, or with the relationship).  instead of snooping, figure out what isn't working, decide if it can be fixed, and do what needs to be done.

There's nothing wrong with stalking though, stalking is fine, so just follow them.

snooping is wrong unless you have good reason to believe that the snoopee (Snoopy!?) is a danger to themselves or others

(for example, has a history of depression and has given off signs that they might commit suicide; or was acquitted of serial homicide on a technicality and has been behaving oddly and you've heard muffled sounds coming from his private tool shed out back)

stalking. also wrong.

Original Post by evanroysterfan22:

Is snooping through your boyfriend's/girlfriend's/husband's/wife's things wrong? Please share any stories where you have done this or this has been done to you.

 Were you planning on anyone saying no?

I think many have done it or had it done to them but it's only ok if you are sure they are hiding something 

oh, i forgot to answer the second question

one time i was suspicious that my bf at the time was cheating on me

he had a 'story' for where he was going on a friday night (work related he said) and so i made a plan to go and see if he was really where he said he would be

i was in a car crash on the way

karma!

never found out if he was being honest with me or not, but i had other warning signs with him, so i ended up breaking up with him about 4 months after that

I agree with pgeorgian, if you're snooping in the first place, somethings not right.  Whether you're insecure, or he/she is really making you feel like you have a reason to snoop, it shows a lack of trust.  It shouldn't even be something to ponder if you're in a secure and trusting relationship.  But I'm guessing that's not even the case if you're asking a question like this...

If you're really suspecting your partner of cheating/lying, and you want some validation for breaking things off...snooping could help...but if you really need to resort to snooping in the first place, you might want to just break things off anyway...

Or you could hire Mac Mulberry to do the snooping and stalking for you.

I dunno, I think it depends on your intentions.  If you're digging through other peoples stuff with the express purpose of "catching" them doing something, I think that's wrong.

I will on occasion read my hubby's e-mail or look at his computer history.  I don't expect to find anything, I'm just a nosey person by nature.  Every time I do it, I re-affirm that his life/emails are JUST as boring as mine.

One danger is finding things you DON'T want to know.... which happened when my hubby when he was being nosey on my dad's computer.  :)

EDIT:  Just the other day I found out something amusing while snooping.  My husband never EVER does housework on his own accord.  On Saturday I was downstairs, and heard him vacuum, and I thought "oh, what a good boy".  Later I read an IM with his friend, and he was asking how to "casually" sneak the vacuum upstairs without me noticing.  Apparently he brought a huge pile of sand into the house after kiteboarding that he wanted to secretly clean up.  I guess he didn't want me to nag him about the sand.  Hehe.  Silly husband, made me laugh.

Awe i thought we talking about snooping to see what presents you've got for christmas! 

I once accidentally knocked my boyfri end's diary off a shelf when I was cleaning, and it fell open on the floor.  Scanning the page, I saw the words 'nagging doubts' and my name, at which point I forced myself to close it and put it back unread.

I guess he must have got over the nagging doubts, whatever they were, as he asked me to marry him not long after!

i've NEVER snooped through a boyfriends phone/e-mail/personal things., i'm just not a jealous person, and maybe too trusting. but i have had it done to me.

i broke up with my ex a few years back, but he was OBSESSED with everything i did, everywhere i went, who i was with, even though i'd broken it off. he was convinced i had cheated on him and that's why i ended things, which was NOT true. 

i did fall hard for someone else pretty soon after our break-up. one night i came home to find my ex at my (what used to be our) apartment, with some excuse as to why he was there.

then he started acting weird, and suddenly threw my journal at me, in which i had written in depth about my feelings for the other person. i don't think i've ever screamed at anyone like that before in my life, i'm surprised no one called the cops. and to this DAY i don't forgive him. i suppose he punished himself by reading what i had written though.   

Meh, I dont think snooping is such a bad thing... 

Should people have more right to sneak around and put those in relations with them at risk?

Shouldnt people have the right to try and gather information to protect themselves from harm?

Lets say your partner is sleeping around... well... then they are putting YOU at risk of diseases and other issues.

Its like in business... if you suspect a business of doing things they shouldnt, there is an investigation to protect those involved.

Then again, some things arent any of the others persons business. In that case, they shouldnt be snooping (like someone just randomly coming in and searching my house or computer). Basically...they need a reason before its valid.

If i thought the person i was with was doing something to put me at risk or was cheating on me, i would have no problem snooping around to find out what was going on (and i would expect them to do the same). Any private information i found while doing that i would set aside and not act on or let it affect me.

I really dont see why the possible victim of an action should have LESS rights then the person doing it. If someone is planning to kill me, i dont want them to be protected until they actually do it or decided to tell me about it....

I admit, I read through my ex's texts back when we were together. I knew there was something going on with another girl that he refused to be honest with me about. I was beginning to doubt myself and wanted to know the truth, so yes, I snooped. Turns out I was right, which was somewhat of a validation, but the fact that I had to sneak around to find out the truth should have been a big red flag about the health of the relationship.

Unfortunately I still stayed with the guy for a year after that until I finally realized how much I hated the person I had become by being with him. The first girl wasn't the last, and I continued snooping to prove my intuition was right every time.

I've grown up since then, and now if I can't trust someone and they won't talk about it I know it's time to just end things.

thus, it is a good idea not to have sex with people you don't trust 100% (either to be faithful or to be safe - whichever you've agreed to) so that you'd have no reason to be snooping on them

and thus, it is a good idea to wait long enough to get tested for STDs and then tested again 3 months later since some infections have a longer incubation period, so that you both know that you're not at risk

Jules, hahaha...that reminds me of my ex.......PSYCHO!

Anyway, I was going back and forth about breaking up with him so I compared lists for affirmation:  "Things I like about him" and "Things I can't stand"...

To make a long story short, the "Things I can't stand" list was WAY longer than the "Things I like about him" list.  And while I was at work one day, he found the list in one of my journals and came into my work flipping out..."I don't grunt when I tie my shoes!"; "I am too looking for a job!"; "You hit the snooze button too!"; and "These steroids are gonna pay off; you'll be sorry when I make it to the NFL!"