deleted -- tired of people arguing about nothiing I wrote about anyway....
Reason: Locked at the Original Poster's request
When was the last time those pictures were viewed? Have you kept a history on your computer (internet explorer will keep a history for you of what files were viewed on your computer) of when they were viewed? Is it possible he just didn't bother to delete them?
Made me think of this, maybe it can make you laugh. (and no it's not porn)
It's not like he is actually cheating on you.......
You say his sex drive has gone down?...guys are really weird about stuff like that, feel like they have failed you in some way....so maybe he is trying to stimulate himself in the hope that it will kick start his sex drive again. With porn there is no pressure on him to perform.
Talk to him. Be very honest about how it makes you feel, but listen closely to what he says. People have very different ideas of what porn is for, some are just curious, for some it's a release, others really are obsessed. Have you ever watched porn together, maybe as foreplay?
Edit to add: good luck!
You can arrange files by when they were made. Unfortunately I don't think there's a way (other than with something like histories through IE) to see when they were accessed. Right clicking and going to properties on an item will show you everything about it, but then you've just accessed it!
Can't say I know how to deal with it... my husband and I watch it together or apart. Sometimes we're not in the mood at the same time, so it's the next best thing.
Ultimately, you can't beat yourself up about it. YOU are not in control of what your boyfriend does. YOU are only in control of what YOU do. I'd urge you to be honest with him. It may be cliche, but honesty really IS the best policy. Good luck.
We're all porn fiends in my house so I'd be more interested in critiquing the porn and making fun of him if it wasn't any good.
It sounds like you have some issues that have nothing at all do to with that porn if you want my opinion. I'd ignore that crap and figure out what's going on between the two of you
Like you know how much work it would be to have to actually go down and rent a horse? And then how much it would cost for all the whipcream and the clown costume (no way you are renting it either, you wouldnt be able to return it)? With porn, you can enjoy all that scenario while relaxing in your chair and surfing the web!
Original Post by spirochete:
We're all porn fiends in my house so I'd be more interested in critiquing the porn and making fun of him if it wasn't any good.
It sounds like you have some issues that have nothing at all do to with that porn if you want my opinion. I'd ignore that crap and figure out what's going on between the two of you
I disagree. When my boyfriend looks at porn and I find out I get really upset. Its not that I have any issues with him, we have a great relationship, really, but I just don't really like the person I love looking at other naked women online. I can't help how I feel about it. Porns normal- I know. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. I used to like porn, but for some reason since I have gotten older it just makes me...upset. No idea why. I wish it didn't!
Of course you don't have to like it. That's not what I meant. I am concerned about the other sexual issues they seem to have. Porn is not the issue, it seems like a symptom
Original Post by spirochete:
Of course you don't have to like it. That's not what I meant. I am concerned about the other sexual issues they seem to have. Porn is not the issue, it seems like a symptom
I know you didn't mean I have to like it but I don't think its abnormal to be upset about it.
I'm sorry, Olivia!! I don't really have any advice about what to do. I am with you and schnooder, though. It makes me uncomfortable if someone I am dating is looking at porn. I guess because I feel like I am not "doing my job" well enough. I don't really think that's true, I think lots of people look at porn even if they are sexually satisfied in their relationship.
I was in a relationship for about 4 years, we had sex all the time, it seemed like he was happy in that regard. I found porn on his computer totally by accident. I wasn't snooping. It made me feel reaaaaaaaaaally weird and awkward and uncomfortable, and NOT happy. I asked him about it, he said he wouldn't do it any more, I don't know if he did or not. (We're not in a relationship any more but that has nothing to do with the porn issue ;)
Anyway, you're not alone in that it bothers you. And like a couple of others have said at least it's not anything he is doing in real life. I know that probably doesn't help much...
Let us know how it works out.
Original Post by schnooder:
Original Post by spirochete:
Of course you don't have to like it. That's not what I meant. I am concerned about the other sexual issues they seem to have. Porn is not the issue, it seems like a symptom
I know you didn't mean I have to like it but I don't think its abnormal to be upset about it.
Agree. Not abnormal at all to be upset by this.
Original Post by schnooder:
Original Post by spirochete:
Of course you don't have to like it. That's not what I meant. I am concerned about the other sexual issues they seem to have. Porn is not the issue, it seems like a symptom
I know you didn't mean I have to like it but I don't think its abnormal to be upset about it.
Where did I say that?
Original Post by spirochete:
Where did I say that?
Apparently seeing issues in a relationship means that you think caring about your SO porn collection is abnormal. A always means B on the internet spiro, you know that.
My husband has many gig of porn floating around on his computer, he doesn't hide it, he is just too lazy to go through it all to figure out what to get rid of. I couldn't care less. That's not to say you shouldn't be upset because everyone responds to things differently. So for starters looking at porn doesn't mean that there is something wrong with your relationship.
I think the two of you have different sex drives and basically you need sex more than he does. You're in a tricky situation because you need to broach the subject but you also need to avoid putting him on the defensive when you do. If there is one thing I have learned, it's that guys can get quite miffed if they think they aren't performing adequately. So while not putting him on the defensive, find out if there is anything you can do to get him in the mood more often - if the sex has become perfunctionary or unsatisfying for him in some way then that is something you can work on together.
Summation: Porn is not the problem and does very little to (most) guys sex drive on the whole. Porn just gets the essential mechanical "release" out of the way; some guys need to do it more than others. However, you need to figure out why he doesn't want to have sex so that you can both be satisfied with your relationship. It doesn't need to be every day, but I'm sure you can figure out a happy medium.
Good luck to you.
P.S. Lorik, thanks for that. I wish I could scrub my brain like I scrub my fingernails.
I'm confused.
1. What does being fat have to do with your sex drive? The last time I checked, fat people were just as horny as skinny people.
2. Since when did porn LOWER your sex drive? What kind of porn is he looking at? Guilt Trip porn?
3. I don't think porn is the problem. I think his lack of sex-drive might be the problem. You might want to sit down with him and talk to him about WHY he doesn't want to have sex with you. Don't make demands, and don't accuse. Just ask him with genuine curiosity.
I think alot of women feel threatened by porn, theres the sense of being inadequete not hot enough not kinky enough. It's just voyeurism and nothing more. We'd all love it if whenever our man jacks off he thinks lovingly of us but its so unrealistic.
Do you live together? Try an catch him in the act and pounce him maybe? That's what I'd do. Tbh I can get myself in the mood at any point so my way would be to just jump him when I know he's aroused but I am a skank ho :P joke.
The porn thing too, I hate to say it and maybe I say it because the only thing about porn that bothers me is that the girls may be underage or being taken advantage of...it's hard to enjoy guilt free. Thats why I like watching animated porn. Can't hurt a cartoon! Anyway If I were you I would try not to let it bother you, I'm sure you do things to upset him too. Go jump your man and reclaim him from the porno :P
Original Post by ness757:
I'm confused.
1. What does being fat have to do with your sex drive? The last time I checked, fat people were just as horny as skinny people.
With a lot of the women I know (including me) sex drives have gone up as they've gotten more fit. It's almost always explained as being more confident in themselves and their bodies, and thus being less inhibited about sex. Wanting to be naked more when you're happy with your body is normal.
How many times a week can I eat tilapia?
There is no limit on tilapia. Certain oily fishes and regional fishes may limited due to their risk of contamination with mercury and other substances... Read more
