Really depressed and Hello Everyone

This is my first post. Hi everyone!

I guess I need some support. Yesterday I had my cheat day, I wasn't planning to but I had a couple of glasses of wine and started eating bread!

Today I weighed myself and I've gained some weight since last time. I'm really bummed. I had been very strict all week, I have a lot of weight to lose and even my grandmother told me I was fat (maybe that is why I was drinking, it really upset me)

I feel like such a loser.

I got my scale last week. How often am I supposed to use it? I've started doing it everyday, I'm full of obsessive behaviours.

I guess I needed to get this off my chest. I think that if I tell my boyfriend how fat I am one more time he will dump me.

Cheers,

Anna

First of all, change your screen name (Under Home, Contact - send the admins a request to change it). Being derogatory towards yourself is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Second, what are your stats? How much have you gained?

Remember that grandmothers don't always understand how their words affect grandkids. My husband's grandmother would talk about fattening the kids up for winter, because where she grew up, there was one bed for 14 kids, so the boys had to sleep outside - a little extra padding was a good thing for them.

If you are finding yourself obsessing over the scale, try to weigh once a week. I myself weigh every day (read this for an explanation of why), but as it explains, there will be daily fluctuations and if you aren't capable of reigning in your emotions to understand that a gain in a day is NOT fat, then daily weighing isn't for you.

As for your boyfriend - he loves you, right? (Or likes you a whole lot?) Imagine someone started calling someone you love - your best friend or your mom - stupid and fat - you'd get annoyed, right? You are calling the woman he loves stupid and fat - of course he's getting frustrated.

Hi Anna,

I wholeheartedly agree with Liz on everything! But particularly the screen name! Change it! You won't get through this with negativity. For me, the negativity is what got me here.

Having a slip or a cheat day is ok once in awhile. My approach is to do my best to log what I had and move on. As long as I'm honest with myself and acknowledge that may be why I weigh a bit more today. Which leads to the weighing yourself question: I work well with the "cause and effect" approach. If I'm logging everything I eat and my exercise and I'm weighing myself every day then I find it pretty easy to see how my actions are effecting my weight - hopefully for the better. ;)  I don't religiously weigh myself everyday. Sometimes it's every other day, sometimes more/less. I like the article Liz linked to though. It really comes down to how you will take it emotionally. If seeing that number going up and down every day will cause corresponding mood swings, maybe you're a once a week person. Not to mention, for me, I don't even going near the scale when I have my period because I always weigh about 3-4 pounds more for those 3-4 days.

Also, it looks like you're new to this. I often see posts for people that have just started that get very frustrated in the first weeks/month because nothing seems to be happening. I've been working on this for 3 years, occasionally taking breaks and then starting back up again. Every time I focus again I start and I'm frustrated because though I've change my eating habits and start exercising more, nothing seems to happen in the first few weeks. Sometimes I even gain a few pounds. This is very normal! I started again at the beginning of Sept and it took me 3 weeks to lose one pound! And I was eating less and exercising 4-5 times a week. So remember your body doesn't always adjust as quickly as you may hope.

Good luck! Keep working at it and it will get better!

Oh Heck Babe!

    I cheat on my diet every weekend and I am still losing weight!  Sure I gain a little over the weekend but I always lose it during the week and a little more!  Could I lose weight faster if I was more strict?  I guess but that is no fun for me!  As long as u overcome your gains in a reasonable amount of time u are fine.  BTW I weigh myself every morning cuz I am anxious about how much I weigh.  It really doesn't bother me though when I gain a little, cuz I know I can knock it right off in 2 or 3 days.  Have fun, drink a little wine(good for your cholesterol) and lighten up.  Focus on your progress, and be fascinated by the information u gain on this site about health and well being. 

yes you do need to change your screen name.  That's not good.  Do you really want people to think of you as fat and stupid.  I don't think so.  I have lost 40 lbs so far (40 more to go) and I didn't see a significant loss until after 3 months of busting my a** 4 days/week doing bootcamp and strictly following the diet that was actually made for rabbits!  But it worked!  Now I can eat "normal" foods in small portions (I use a saucer-size plate for dinner unless I eat fish or chicken and vegs only.)  But I really think that exercise is the key.  The more muscular you are the more fat you burn.  When you exercise, really exhurt yourself and it gets easier and easier.  Good luck to you.  Keep up the good work.