Depressed and Ready to give up
I'm very fed up with this whole "getting healthy" thing.
I was very INTO this a while ago, but after seeing little to no results since October, I'm very frustrated, sad and angry. The voices in my head and of all of the people who have ever teased me about being fat are getting to me and saying "YOU CAN'T DO THIS". I don't know what to do.
I have little/to no support at home, and it's really difficult to keep going.
I REALLY want this, something I've wanted for years, and it's at the point now where it's all or nothing. I'm very desperate for a change in my life, but after falling off the wagon for the last 3 weeks, I don't even know how to go back.
The worst, is it seems, everytime I make that decision that "I'm going to get back to what I was doing" everything tries to stop me.
The biggest thing is the mental blocks I put up. Like, for example, any time the scale dips below 200 lbs, I feel the need to bump it back up. Mostly through self-sabotage involving not going to the gym and splurging.
This is a call for help/support/advice etc.
I want to get my mind right.
Does anyone who has fallen off the track (lost their motivation) and gotten back to working the program, have any suggestions for me? Coping methods?
Yes I have fallen off the wagon, for almost 4 years! I gained 35-40 lbs in that time. But you know, one day I woke up and said "ok I am done with eating all the junk food, gaining all the weight, and my knees and ankles bothering me on a daily basis." So I talked to my brother who had recently lost 40 lbs and he said he counted calories and exercised.
So in Oct 2007 I ended up at this site. I logged my calories daily and after 2 weeks I started walking. To date I have lost 17.5 lbs. Has it always been easy? NO NO NO!!!! I have had weeks where I don't lose anything and other weeks when I lose motivation, like this week no exercise, but I still count calories. I have binge days, maybe once every other week. And with no exercise I have noticed that my knees are starting to bother me again. So Sunday is my start of walking again. I know I have to do it to keep my knees healthy and strong.
I know about the support thing at home, although my brother isn't unsportative, he still brings cookies and junk in the house. My BF loves to cook and at first would make really high calorie foods. He has gotten better now and has even lost 10 pounds. That's what is great about this site. Everyone here will help encourage you and keep you on the right track.
If you have decided that you are ready to lose weight, it has to be your decision and not to please anyone else, then you can do it. I know it is hard but we are all here for you. Take it one day at a time, and if you mess up tomorrow is a new day!
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
I'm new to this site but not new to losing weight. I've lost 35 lbs in the last six months or so. Unfortunately the only way I was able to drop weight was calorie counting and exercise. As far as motivation I keep two things in mind: 1. there is no greater investment in my self esteem and well being I can make than to maintain a healthy body weight and 2. It is my responsibility and mine alone.
Most people you know aren't going to be very supportive and more than you would think are actually going to try to sabotage you. Nevertheless, absent somebody putting a gun to your head, nobody can force you to overeat. If you fall off the wagon, just get back on. Everybody slips from time to time so don't beat yourself up.
Oh man have I fallen off the wagon over the years. There was a time when I never thought I would get under 200 again! Now I'm 187! I think you really just need to buck up and realize that this is what you need to do to feel better about yourself and more importantly, this is something you've wanted for your whole life. You deserve to feel good about yourself and to have the thing you've wanted for so long.
If you really think this is self sabotage and not just food lust or laziness, consider seeing a therapist who specializes in ED/disordered eating. Because, really, what you are doing is no different then a person who cuts or burn themselves. It is a self destructive behavior and you need to put a stop to it! Good Luck!!
It takes time to work through all your negative behavior but you can do it!!! That's what we all are doing here, too. Give yourself a little time to ease into it.
And, honestly, if you are not losing, either you need to cut out more calories or pump it up more. Journal your eating for a week. Eating more vegetables and fruit (folic acid is important to fight depression!) and staying away from white flour and bad fat and sugar is essential. Keep at it and stay with this...we all want to know how you do.
What are your goals? How old are you? Do you need counseling for the depression? Take care!
Good luck to you!
If you want the healthy lifestyle so badly, make the necessary changes to do so! WHO CARES what other people are doing/saying? At the end of the day, they're not helping anybody (including themselves), so forget them! You should continue what you're doing, do your research and get interested and spread the information to these people around you and get them into the same mindset.
Nobody said perseverance was easy, but if this is really as important to you as you say, it will really be worth your while.
=) GOOD LUCK and KEEP GOING!
yep... same here :( sometimes i just can't help it & i want to eat the whole house LOL sometimes i almost do!
my best advice probably would be NOT to deny yourself ANY foods. i buy junk food all the time! and i eat it, too :) i don't eat it like i used to, though, now i mostly only have a serving once in a while of that kind of stuff... and that's only if i have the calorie allowance for it. sometimes i eat a few hundred more calories too, like yesterday & i lost a pound doing it! *don't count on that happening though!
anyway, as far as support, YOU are your best support!!! only YOU can be there 24/7, but if you deny yourself certain foods, you WILL want to binge.
i really like the advice you have been getting here, especially the 3 steps forward & 2 steps back! at least that's still one step :) just remember also, it is NOT a race!!! it takes a long time to lose weight... just hang in there. it'll ALL come off... not as quickly as it goes on though
;P
But really...You have to support yourself mainly. You own the arms attached to the hand that put the food into the mouth.
No one shoves it down there for you.
so *smack smack* thats not an excuse. YOU know you want to do this. Its why you feel bad when you are not doing it. Every time you want to do a bad thing...think about how GREAT the good sticking to it part is. So pull your britches up and say...SUCCESS STARTS TODAY!
Have it be a little mantra you say to yourself to keep you motivated.
Be logical about what you are going to do. Dont kid yourself and try to go from couch potato to uber sporter. It doesnt work that way usually. Be realistic. Focus on what you CAN do instead of what you have to push yourself for.
EDU tip: stalls can last for up to 3 months during loss
BUT BUST IT:
- increase your cals to maintain a couple weeks then drop them again.
- cut your diet pop consumption
- cut your caffine consumption
- eat more veggies
- drink more water
- take a vitamin
You can do this..dont be silly.
I know you are bummed and you are frustrated. But now that you know the stall thing...BE HAPPY. You are not trapped. You are just going through the lows of dieting and wt loss.
PM me anytime!
We all do sometimes! Keep logging everything you eat, every day, eben if you don't want to face it. If you have bad cravings, maybe look at whether you are getting enough vitamins and minerals. I take a multi-vitamin (4 actually) every day and at least one emergen-C packet. If I don't have enough vitamins (which easily happens when we are calorie restricting) I get major cravings and feel lethargic - hence I don't want to go to the gym.
This time of year is the worst. First-off, we have less light to motivate us ( I live in the rain which is even worse) - then to top it off we are constantly celebrating which means, big high-calorie meals, dessert and booze. All bad for staying healthy.
It doesn't matter how many times we slip up, as long as we wake up each day committed to it.
Some other things to consider which really changed matters for me are: eat out as little as possible - you never know for sure what is in it. Look for healthy recipes and know how to replace high calorie ingredients with healthier choices - like stevia for sugar, PAM spray instead of oil in a pan, less butter, nothing on vegetables except maybe a little salt and pepper, using non-fat yogurt in place of high-fat ingredients, etc.
Trader Joes is my best friend, I always carry little carrot packets and satsumas with me in case of emergency, and I found a website called KINETIX.com that has amazing recipes all in a 40/40/20 format.
At night (when I get my munchies) I drink cup after cup of hot tea, good earth has one that tastes like dessert, peppermint and super antioxidant green tea are all awesome!!
GOOD LUCK!!
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