Depressing... (I just needed a place to pour my heart out)

I've lost 40lbs...  I feel good that I've worked so hard and I have lost what I have.  I really don't know what I actually weigh because it seems that every scale is way off.  After my first week of dieting I bought an inexpensive digital scale and my weight on that scale was 225.  (I am 5'4).  I weigh myself the same time of day wearing the same clothes (my pjs, haha).  My scale now says I weigh 184.5.  I really don't think I actually weigh 184.5 because if I did I think my clothes size would be less but anyways...  bottom line is that my scale shows a 40lb loss.  I would think losing 40lbs people would notice.  Anyone who has lost weight I am sure can relate that it feels good and it's a nice motivation boost when people notice how much weight you've lost.  Well no one has noticed, no one!!  As I was losing weight my clothes were gradually getting looser...  now its to the point where they are too big and starting to look sloppy.  Today I was able to wear the next size down and they weren't skin tight, the jeans fit nice.  It felt soooo good.   Before I was border line an 18 and could wear 16's but they were tight.  Now I am in a 14 and they fit nice and the 16's look sloppy.  My husband hasn't noticed my weight loss, my friends haven't notice, etc.  At first I just thought because I am wearing the same clothes even though they are getting too big but maybe no one has noticed because of the clothes.  I also thought my husband hasn't noticed because he sees me everyday.  I would have thought my friends would notice because I don't see them all the time but they haven't.  Today when I was able to wear the 14 jeans and even the shirt I wore was something that wouldn't have fit before.  I know I still have a lot of weight to loose before I will begin to look good but today I was feeling better about myself than I have felt in a long time and I couldn't wait for my husband to come home because I was sure he would finally notice but he didn't but nope, not at all!  I am not the kind of person that will say... "can you tell I've lost weight?"  My mom use to do that and I feel that saying things like that puts people on the spot.  If they say something on their own then I know they are sincere.  I am proud of myself but I am also really depressed that as hard as I am working, no one has noticed a 40lb loss.  I am not wanting to give up...  Im feeling the opposite but again, I just feel sad.  Maybe my scale isn't right, even though I weigh myself every couple days and I have a continueous weight loss... maybe I haven't lost 40lbs.  The inexpensive scale could be wrong.  Maybe I have lost weigh less than what I think and that is why no one has noticed.  I do check the scale every few days by putting a 10lb weight on it and it always says the 10lb weight is 9.5lbs.  It's not that off of what it should be....  .5lb isn't bad but maybe it's giving me false hope.  I'm just depressed and I guess I needed the one that means the most to me to notice how hard I've been working and that I am finally in a smaller size.  Im just sad....

Get a good scale, and beat the hell outta the old one with a sledge hammer....  :)  I've considered this on more than one occasion.  Great job with the 40 lbs, that's AWESOME!!!  There is a possiblity that you have lost fat but gained muscle so your shape hasnt changed that much..?  I've been there, I was in a 16 and no one said anything about my weight loss until I was in a 9.  I asked why, my friends claimed they didnt want to bring attention to the fact that I was fat before.  (Like it was something I hadnt been aware of or something??)  I chalked it up to my friends being too busy/ self absorbed to notice how baggy the ass of my pants had become.  Hang in there :)

first of all- congratulations and good job.  you have achieved a lot.  i'm not sure why people aren't saying anything... but you are obviously making a lot of progress.  sometimes weight is considered taboo and people don't like to talk about it or bring it up because they are afraid of making you uncomfortable.  whatever the reason... don't focus on others.  just keep doing what you are doing and you will just continue to get more fit.  and don't be sad, be psyched for yourself and the progress you made!!!!

Awe hang in there tracyloibl. It could be that they don't want to draw attention to the fact that you were overweight. Keep doing what you have been doing. Weight tends to be a touchy subject between spouses so perhaps your man just doesn't want to start something. Of course it does seem that he would want to complement you. Whatever the case, you are doing a fantastic job and 40 pounds is an awesome feat. Keep it up and soon you will be the envy of your friends. Then they will have to notice!

First, congratulations!

I'm sorry that other peoples' not commenting is bothering you so much. Are they people who've commented on such changes in the past? I know that I was raised not to comment on weight even when I noticed. And truthfully, I often don't notice because I just don't spend that much time looking at other people's bodies. Faces, yes, bodies, no.

I'd suggest you say something to open the conversation, to make it okay for others to let you know they've noticed, etc. Can you comment on changes you've made -- careful eating, more exercise, how good it's making you feel -- to start a conversation? 

Please don't get discouraged--you are doing great!  If you are using the same scale all the time, I'm sure your weight loss is real.  From one scale to another, there can be a difference , but with the same scale all the time, I think even if the actual number of pounds you weigh is a little off, the number of pounds you lost would be accurate, and that's what's important!

I have been where you are.  I at one time lost 60 pounds.  (I have since gained 20 of it back and am trying to deal with that).  It took a long time for people to mention it.  I don't know why.  But please don't give up, and be happy for what you know YOU have accomplished! 

Original Post by ladysavala:

Get a good scale, and beat the hell outta the old one with a sledge hammer....  :) 

I wish I could but I don't have the extra money to buy a good one...  its the one I have or nothing.

Congratulation on your success!!!

Kill ur scale !!

Focus on that and don't worry about what others notice or don't notice.  I also have lost 42lbs going from 315 to a current weight of 273 and the only one who has said anything is my brother.  And that's because I ask him every week how much I look like I weigh :-)

Anyway its been said before and even you said people who see you everyday my not notice.  I used the work with this girl Kim and one day I looked at her and was like "you've lost weight!" Please keep in mind I saw her every day.  And her replay was yes I have thank you.  So I asked how much she lost....100lbs.  I felt so stupid.  I see her everyday, talk to her everyday and didn't even notice until it was 100lbs.  I was more amazed then she was, because like you I always assumed people should notice as soon as I went down a size or two.  I always thought I would notice if someone else lost 30 or 40 lbs.....well having been on the oblivious not noticing side I have learned to be proud of what I have accomplished and people will notice when they notice. 

Another life lesson I have learned is those closest to us that truly care about us tend to notice emotional and mood type changes. (Whats wrong type questions) before they notice the physical changes because they see us as us inside and out and love us for who we are not what we are.

So be proud. dance around in your new cloths as I just recently did and if you really want people to say something talk about your diet with them.....it tends to make things click in people head....u know the o pooh she looks great and I didn't even notice moments.

Keep up the great work!!!

Original Post by tracyloibl:

Original Post by ladysavala:

Get a good scale, and beat the hell outta the old one with a sledge hammer....  :) 

I wish I could but I don't have the extra money to buy a good one...  its the one I have or nothing.

yah, this is why I still have a crappy one LOL, but as soon as I get a new one....muhahahaha, I'm runnin it over with the tractor!

tracy,

I totally sympathize for you!  You must realize what you have done so far is amazing and you have the strenght to keep going with it.

Although I did not lose as much as you, it also took a long time for people to notice my weight loss.  I had lost about 14% of my original body weight, and dropped three sizes before anyone said anything, and then it was like everyone noticed all at once.  I was actually shocked when one of my friends burst out "you look skinny!".  Wasn't sure how to handle it!  Keep on going and when it happens for you it will SO be worth it.  Remember that you are doing this for YOU and the added compliments will just increase the motivation you already have and make you smile ear-to-ear.

As far as your scale being off by .5lb w/ the ten pound weight, that could be worse than you think.  Most scales become more inaccurate the more weight is placed on them...so if you put a 100lb object on the scale it could think it is only 90lb etc.  I would also recommend getting a new scale or weighing yourself at a gym etc. that has a reliable one. 

Whatever you find as your true weight, keep on going, you can do it, and soon enough the compliments will come rolling in =)

Gosh, you're doing so great! I am looking forward to being in a size 14 again. That felt so good. My opinion is to focus on the great results and just relish that feeling of accomplishment. Someone above said and I think so too, often people do not want to call attention to the fact that there was extra weight to begin with so it may just be their way of not wanting to bring it up.

I wish you continued success! And hope I can follow you soon. :)

Congratulations - 40lbs is AMAZING!!

It sucks that people aren't noticing. Maybe next birthday/holiday, pull out a photo of you last year at the same time and put it beside a recent photo so that people can see the "before" and "after" - if they see you every day it's hard to notice a slightly gradual change.

With respect to your husband, he may be like my boyfriend: once a week like clockwork he says "did you do something to your hair?" JUST IN CASE I did because he NEVER truly notices.

With respect to friends and co-workers ... well, to be honest I never, ever, ever comment on anyone's weight unless they're my workout buddy and that's part of our regular conversation. Otherwise, what other people weight/how big they are is often a sensitive subject and I don't want to bring it up unless they bring it up first. If someone said to me "hey you've lost weight!" I'd start thinking "what, did you think I was fat before?"

Sorry, I know it's not that motivating when the people around you aren't celebrating your success (and I'm also not the kind of person who'd say "can't you tell I've lost weight") but I'm SURE there are people who are noticing how great you look.

Well, if you're losing weight healthily and gradually, the people you see every day probably wouldn't notice.  Every time they see you, they'll expect you to look similar to what you looked like the last time they saw you, and when you're losing weight at a healthy rate of less than a pound every few days, they won't stop and think about it, and they might assume that you've only lost a little bit.  To them, you look almost the same as you did the previous day, and people don't regularly dwell upon farther out memories of each other enough to compare their present mental images of you to those from the recent past.  That sounds a little nonsensical, but I've noticed that the people I go weeks without seeing are definitely more apt to notice changes - especially weight loss - than those I see every few days.

Chin up, you're doing great!

Maybe it'd help to spend some time with people you haven't seen in a few weeks?

Also, one thing people are bound to recognize is improved confidence!  Be proud of yourself and happy for who you are and what you see in the mirror.  Smile at yourself and know that you're doing something extraordinary; something you've always wanted to do.

1. Congratulations on your amazing weight loss!  Very impressive!
2. If people see you pretty much regularly, sometimes it is more difficult to see that someone has lost a lot of weight.
3. Some people don't want to acknowledge someone else's weight loss because they know they should be dieting, too.
4. Losing weight and feeling good about it is a state of mind, so your positive vibes will eventually carry over to other people.
5. Two personal examples that connect to your experience of "no one noticing."  1) My older daughter had lost 25 pounds, but no one at work seemed to notice.  It definitely depressed her, since she wanted some kind of positive feed back.  Well, one night at a restaurant on a "ladies' night out," suddenly some of her friends were telling her how great she looked.  They hadn't said a thing at work. It really made her feel good.
6. 2) I walk down town every day almost to get a few groceries at our local grocery store.  I had dropped 45 pounds in 3 months.  I thought one of the employees would say something about it.  But day after day, not a single employee, seemed to notice.  These are all either former students or parents of students I taught.  Then one day one of the baggers said something to the effect "You are really looking good.   You've lost a lot of weight."  So hang in there.  Believe me!  People will notice that you lost weight and they will also be very impressed with the fact that you did it!

Best of luck in all things and particularly in maintaining your healthy weight loss!

That's awesome and you should be really proud. It is hard sometimes not to take it personally when people don't notice, but sometimes you just don't notice changes like that when you see someone every day. People would no doubt notice the difference if they saw a picture of you at your previous weight. I think there's a certain point where you start to look "thin," not just "thinner than before," and people notice all at once (and start telling you to stop losing because you're going to get too skinny).

Does your husband know you're trying to lose weight? Is he interested in your progress and does he support you in your goal? Maybe that would make a difference in how much he notices.

Just because people haven't said anything doesn't mean they haven't noticed.  Many people are uncomfortable talking about weight.  After all, they don't want you to think they're saying you were fat before!

i love the comment about the people we love seeing us from the inside out, and not being so observant of the outside so much.

CONGRATULATIONS on the weight loss, that is brilliant, focus on how brilliant you are

i know that weight is a touchy subject, one that i never bring up in conversation uninvited. i suppose its just a modern social etiquette that has evolved to avoid upset- the same as when people are only just showing in pregancy- you NEVER say anything until it is quite obvious they are having a baby, and not just carrying extra weight!

hang in there, keep going, and do it for you, not the comments. the comments will come in time. All the best with your journey X

Are you doing this for you or your friends?

Original Post by vegetariangeek:

Congratulations - 40lbs is AMAZING!!

It sucks that people aren't noticing. Maybe next birthday/holiday, pull out a photo of you last year at the same time and put it beside a recent photo so that people can see the "before" and "after" - if they see you every day it's hard to notice a slightly gradual change.

With respect to your husband, he may be like my boyfriend: once a week like clockwork he says "did you do something to your hair?" JUST IN CASE I did because he NEVER truly notices.

Well...  I don't have any photos of myself.  It's been years since I have allowed anyone to take a photo.  haha  I'm always the one behind the camera this way I know no one can sneak a picture. 

What you said about your boyfriend gave me a good laugh.  haha  Thanks, I needed that.  :)

Original Post by kiltias92:

Are you doing this for you or your friends?

 I am 100% doing this for me but I guess by friends noticing it is kind of a motivational boost,  that's all.  I also needed a little support, someone I could talk to when I was having a hard time, someone to be excited with when I lost weight, just someone who knows me that I can talk too.  My best friend (of 26 years) over the last year went from 280 to about 205ish.  She looks great and I was there for her and supported her...  she could talk to me when she was feeling bad and when she felt great, etc.  I guess I needed the same from her and I thought that I would have it but I am wrong.  I don't even bring it up to her, I don't even discuss that I am dieting.  Once in a while she will ask if I am still dieting and all I say is "yes".  I saw her a week ago... she stopped by to borrow a dress and it was the first time I had seen her in a while.  I thought she would say something but instead all she did was whine because she ran into my ex-husband and he didn't notice she lost 80lbs.  haha  Oh, well... 

Original Post by antiferret:

Does your husband know you're trying to lose weight? Is he interested in your progress and does he support you in your goal? Maybe that would make a difference in how much he notices.

Yes he knows and he is extemely supportive.  First he told me that he loves me exactly the way I am and only to lose weight for me.  He actually does the cooking most the time (he loves to cook, haha) and he is very considerate of how he cooks and what he uses.  He even ran to the store for salad stuff recently and he got fat free italian dressing.  He checks labels before he buys something because he knows how important dieting is to me.  He doesn't need to lose weight but he always says he could lose a little as well.  He is a police officer and I think he looks fine exactly the way he is. 

Tracy