in desperate need of motivation

i really need to lose weight. i currently weigh 309 pounds and i dont know why i cant keep myself motivated. please help with any advice tht worked for you!

Hi cutecheeks...I weighed just over 300 pounds at my heaviest and know that the thing that really got me motivated to lose was the joint pain I was experiencing at the time. Also the physical side effects generally I was suffering from (sweating, chafing). I got so miserable I knew it was now or never. And you know I have not looked back since...2 and a bit years down the line and I am running a half marathon race today so that tells you how farI have come.

You can do this, I know the time needs to be right to do something about it but why not take this opportunity to start on that road to losing weight. Patience is a virtue but this time in 2 years you will look back and feel so overwhelmed that you made the decision. Just think about how amazing it will feel to succeed with it...

Good luck xx

You should talk to loosingthepounds 

This girl started out at 300 something and has now lost over 110 pounds.... she has an awesome story and is willing to help others in there weightloss journey.  Tell her that angelab75 sent ya!  LOL!  She is amazing!  Ask her how to lose the weight.  I know she can help you!  And most important, you need to know that this CAN BE DONE!  Don't give up!  There is a way out of where you are right now.. so look forward to soon seeing the new you!

God Bless and Be Encouraged!

You can also join us on our thread in this forum... there is ALOT of motivation there too!  Lots of people who are very helpful!  Christian Calorie Counters "CCC"

Cute_cheeks18, maybe this post I wrote recently will be of some small amount of motivation for you. -

I recently turned 50 years old which I wasn't thrilled about, I'm disabled due to a stroke, chronic pain, and a number of others health related issues. I am 6'2" tall, In the summer of 2006, I reached my all time record high weight of 270lbs plus. Since that time I have pushed myself regardless and relentlessly in hopes of improving my health status and it has and is paying off. Since monitoring my calories and weight here at caloriecount.com and in conjunction with another program I am now 3.5 lbs away from a 15 record low weight and 5 lbs away from my entire adult lifetime record weight and mind you that includes building some considerable and beautiful muscle. My goal is approximately 180lbs, nearly 100 lbs, and I have NO doubt I will reach it. I cannot begin to tell you how good it feels and how good I am feeling; it's been worth every single drop of sweat, every painful, uncomfortable, feeling like I can't do it and doing it anyway moment. Do yourself a favor; don't cry when your sweating it about losing 5 or 10 lbs or sometime much more and when you can't help crying take yourself by the shoulders, shake yourself, slap yourself, do whatever your have to do to get through it, concentrate on your goal, don't give up, get tough, you will get there. Lets Roll.

 

Focus on the process, not the weight goal. If you eat, say, 2000 calories a day for the rest of your life, you will reach and maintain a healthy weight, so make your goal to be "changing your daily habits in that direction", not "losing weight". 2000 calories can be quite filling, when they consist of healthy food (but make one-tenth of it chocolate, or other treats)! It takes a bit of planning but not much. Give yourself permission to buy the expensive healthy groceries - you'll save at least that much money by stopping eating out (at least I did). Make sure that the healthy foods you eat are foods that you truly like, but don't be mean to yourself if the day doesn't go as planned. Do this from self-love (want to be healthy and long-lived), not self-hate (OMG I'm fat, yucky yucky). There's a great thread on self-acceptance in the motivation forum that might help.

For me, I decided one day to change my food intake. (I will only add exercise to my life once the eating is second nature to me - it isn't, quite yet.) I started with a goal of 1500 calories a day, last May 24th to be exact. So far I've lost 38 lbs (from 240-202) and went from BMI 36.5 to 30.7. And this is despite many many days when I went over my intake, sometimes stupendously so. The trick is to strip all the moral values from food and fat - "good, bad, strong, weak, ugly, shameful, pathetic". None of it belongs there. When you attach these kinds of feelings to food or fat, it makes it impossible to maintain these life changes - it's too stressful and makes you feel too bad about yourself everytime you're not "perfect".  For me, when I would go over my calorie goal for the day, I would try to keep it as a maintenance day (i.e. eat at maintenance, which for me was about 2100 cals) but if I couldn't, "whatever". It wasn't "falling off the wagon" or "breaking my diet" or anything - it was just a day when my eating didn't go as planned. The overall mental "lifestyle change" was still in place, if you know what I mean. It felt as natural as breathing to just go back to my goals the next day. Normal-weight people overeat sometimes - they just don't do it very often, because they know it isn't good for them. I decided to eat like a normal-weight person. It's hard in a way, because I'm still friends with people who are quite overweight and I can't go out to dinner with them so often - but I have normal-weight friends too, and I feel a bit less freakish around them now (I don't eat half the food myself when there's four of us, anymore).

It's simple but it's not easy. It's a permanent change in lifestyle habits, which is something humans aren't very good at. The trick is to imagine how it could be happy and sustainable for you to eat, say, 2000 calories a day, and then implementing it. It is a pain in the neck to look everything up and measure portions, but it gets easier with time. And after a while, you just remember how many calories are in a package of baby carrots or a boiled egg or a cup of rice or a tablespoon of margarine. One great trick that I cribbed from Shiptona - keep a single sheet of paper folded in four in your pocket - as the day progresses, write down on one of the sides what you eat and the calories involved, and subtotal after every meal and snack. That way, you don't have to review every single thing you ate, in your head, ten times a day, which can cause stress and obsessiveness. And that piece of paper will last you a week, with the eighth "side" being the perfect place to review what your caloric deficit was that week. Even if your scale doesn't show it yet, if you've reached a deficit of 3500 cals, you've lost a pound of fat, congratulations!

i tell myself this ..sometimes ALOT...

no matter what happens, how bad it has gotten, how low it has gotten or how bad i feel, I HAVE THE CONTROL! I CAN CHANGE MY LIFE!

iam was not really born thinking this way. it happened after some unpleasent things had happened in my life and when i finally had had enough.

at some point i realized how much power i really had in my life. most of the time we dont see it becuase we can not always change what others do to us but we can always control how we let it effect us.

the same goes for things we have done to ourselves. it might take sometime to realize what we have let ourselves get into but we can change it.

i hold on to that vary dearly.

i know changing how you see things is not easy. but never give up. you can do this, maybe not today but you can and you will.

also remember, when you feel like you cant go on or that your failing their is always people to hear you out and help you along.
jsut let us know what you need and we will do everything we can to help.

Thank you guys so much for your advice. I needed all of it!! I am confused on how the deficit works. Lets say i eat 1700 calories a day...How many calories do i need to burn to lose one pound? 3500? do i then lose my 1700 to?? im lost....aahh but i think i can do this. NO i know i can!! i was really considering lap band surgery cuz i am only 23 years old but really need to tryh this first!!

You need to use the expenditure calculator to figure out how many calories you burn on a usual day (you can set your activity level to sedentary, light, moderate or high: most people are sedentary or light). I'm guessing that your sedentary expenditure will be about 2500 calories.

Then you set your intake at a certain number below that, usually between 500-1000 below your burn.  If you can be OK on an intake, say, 1500 calories a day (not feeling too deprived) while sedentary, then go for it (that's what I did). I recommended 2000 because it's less of a change and is more sustainable for some (i.e. if you have had trouble staying motivated).  If your deficit (i.e. what you burn minus what you eat) is 500 cals a day, you'll lose a pound a week.

Best of luck to you! The first step is just deciding to take action! Just that alone empowers you! Do take the diet advice/intake advice others have given. But no one has mentioned exercise yet. If you've never really exercised the pounds will fly off in the beginning. You'll sleep better, you'll feel more relaxed, and you'll really feel that you're in control of your life. If you can afford it, join a gym... there's a YMCA everywhere and their prices can be reasonable. Curves is another option for beginners, though I have never tried it. The trick is to find something you like to do...if you hate to run, don't. Now, in the beginning you'll need to go easy. Start with a walk every day. Get good shoes, get good music on your Ipod and just go. Don't worry about how long or how far at first. Just start moving. Most gyms offer free training to new members, to help you get started. Do not be afraid of the gym. No one is paying attention to anyone else...we're all there to improve our own lot in life, so don't worry about people watching you or whatever (I mention that because I know a lot of gym newbies have that fear!). And hire a personal trainer for at least a handful of sessions, again if you can afford it. They'll guide you on your workouts, and also help with your diet. Plus, they're your cheerleader and drill sergeant all rolled into one! There's also lots of good fitness DVDs out there, that you can do at home. I personally can't work out at home...I'm too comfy! I need to go the gym, since that's all that's going on there.

Good luck and don't get discouraged. Healthy weight loss takes time and patience, but you'll acquire life long healthy habits. Have fun!

Hi cute_cheeks18, you can do it!  What has been working for me is setting some mini goals of say 5 to 10 pounds rather than focusing on losing a large amount of say 70 plus pounds.  I have lost a total of 6 pounds in two months by cutting out the junk food snacks and replacing them with healthier alternatives.  As a matter of fact I am eating MORE now than I did two months ago, or it seems like I am.  I eat at two to three hour intervals so I am eating small meals throughout the day.  And if I am hungry or feel the need to chew between meals I chew sugarless gum. 

My main roadblock is fast food.  But it's so very easy to forget that the Big Mac you are considering has a whopping 800 calories, mostly from fat.  You can eat healthy at a fast food place if you  order a salad with grilled chicken and fat-free dressing.  Eating slower also helps your brain to catch up with your stomach and make you feel fuller. 

I am also doing a lot more walking now as part of my exercise routine.  I take the stairs instead of the elevator and park further away from the store when I am grocery shopping.  Every little bit helps :)

Please give calorie counting another try before you consider weight-loss surgery.  Good luck and we are all rooting for you!

I think the hardest part of weight loss for me has been planning.  I've tried a number of exercise program with diets and never lasted on them for more than a week.   CC is truly the best.

If you like pizza, get frozen pizzas that are healthier and smaller in size and cook a pound of vegetables to go with them.  What I do is plan to eat 1/2 (about 360 calories) and all the veggies (1 lb of broccoli) so the broccoli offsets some of the mediocre nutrition in the pizza and if I'm still hungry after I've eaten all of my veggies, then I reheat the second 1/2 of the pizza.  I do not order pizza delivery because I do not have sufficient control to eat only 2 slices and I really don't know what's in it...I will occasionally get a personal sized pizza from a local joint, but only if I have it loaded with veggies.

I also keep my freezer stocked with things that I like that are pretty good for me.  Frozen shrimp, frozen veggies, frozen veggie burgers.  I try to keep apples and bananas around plus almonds.  I've taken to buying the balance organic bars which are pretty healthy for you and the fiber one bars.  I keep soy ice cream in my freezer which I don't really like that much, but it keeps me from buying ice cream in the store most of the time.  I try to save the days that I splurge on a cheeseburger for the days when I get a lot of exercise.  I avoid most fried foods.

I've convinced my brain that going out for sushi is far superior to going out for pizza...it actually is in my opinion.  You can do this, it doesn't have to be painful.

Use the tools on this site to get an idea of the calories that you burn just by existing.  Spend the first week or two eating around those calories while improving the content of your diet.  After you're comfortable, start subtracting 100-200 calories a week until you start losing weight.  Or, drop 100 calories and add 1/2 an hour of mild exercise...exercise doesn't have to be awful either.  Find one thing that you like to do and start doing it...dancing...you don't have to do it with an audience, you can just rock out at home.  Push ups...get real, no one really likes those, but 10 wall push ups a day are probably do able.  Stretching, it's good for you and it does burn some calories.