What didn't your parents do for you?

When you were younger and now when you are older you wish they had?

Have you asked them why they didn't do it?

For me I wish my mother had gotten my teeth fixed, I have a couple which are not in place and it really bothers me so I tend to hide my smile.

To get them fixed now would be really quite expensive and I currently can't afford it.

I asked her why she had not asked the dentist to put a brace on (when it would have been free to do so) and she replied because she thought it would be better for me to have squint teeth than to walk around with a brace on for a few months.... seriously!

I shouldn't be surprised by this comment because it comes from a woman who said to my sister when I was in a wild stage of youth and was dyeing my hair all different colours that she wished I was on drugs than colouring my hair purple because at least then the neighbours wouldn't know!

The Post question was what didnt your parents do for you?  My answer to that is they didn't give me everything I wanted.  It wasn't a money issue either.  I had to work for the extras.

The second part is they didn't "give" me an education beyond high school.   Almost 50 years old and I've never had a meaningful job.  Now I'm a freshman in college to become a Nutritionist.  Lot's of work!  I've also got a life of hard knocks to look back on that is motivating me towards my weight loss goal, and my education.

They didn't teach me how to handle stress well.

Teaching me money management. haha

And I wish they would've helped me just a little with uni. It was hard to work full time+ and go to school full time. 

They didn't let me have friends.

They didn't let me go to the prom.

They didn't let me date.

They didn't let me give out my phone number.

They didn't let me take part in school activities.

I could go on and on...

They basically didn't let me have a social life and so, I fail completely at social activities now.

Same with the teeth. Not feeling confident enough to smile has had such an adverse affect on my social development.

Mine is a little complicated. Being the youngest provides a lot of benefits for some in the family, but not for me. I am the youngest, which means I never get informed on anything and my opinions aren't valued because I'm younger, immature, (according to them) and therefore, know absolutely nothing. Even when I would prove them wrong on whatever it was, my comments were easily disregarded.

So they didn't give me their ear, so to speak.

I can't blame them, but I'm sure thats the reason why I hardly express my opinions now. And I'm VERY opinionated. So it sucks.

I wish they wouldn't have given me so many things, toys, clothes. 

Instead I wish they would have given me more time instead.

I wish they had given me more knowledge about real life and more guidance when it came to college.

I wish they had given me a sibling.

I haven't asked why because I know the reasons.

I wish mom hadn't (and still does) equate happiness with piles of high-sugar, high-fat, high-calorie crap food.  She didn't make good choices for us as kids, because we were allowed to eat whatever we 'liked' which was no fresh fruits or vegs, cans upon cans of chef boy r dee, rice a roni, pop-tarts, crap box mac n' cheese, ramen noodles, fried chicken.. I could go on and on.  My brother almost broke the habit, like i did, but after losing 80 lbs, said 'screw it' and went back.. It's a struggle to explain why I won't eat most of her food when I visit now..

I'm dreadfully afraid mom is going to pass away at 67 ish like her mom did.. She'd rather eat chocolate cake (and be very unhealthy, high BP) than take care of herself in any meaningful way.  I'm still 15 lbs overweight, or more, and she says i'm 'too thin'. 

/rant

Interesting question.  My mother wasnt able to be a mother to me for very long.  She died when I was just 14.  Not her choice, and has affected my life in so many ways....made me very responsible at a very young age.

My father....should have hired a housekeeper/nanny for his children especially w/ the amount of travel he did. 

What didnt they give me? I really dont see it that way.  Whatever obstacles I have had, I have compensated for.  Father was not very tolerant person...I have learned to welcome different cultures, people and personalities.  I have learned to take care of myself, becuase if I dont, no one else will. 

My parents didn't give me my university education. In doing so, they are giving and teaching me so much more- responsibility, money management, maturity etc. I'm honestly quite glad that I've acquired these skills, and hold no resentment in any way. They love me- the hard way. It's not a parent's job to dole over every thing a child wants.

My parents gave me everything they could, and I'm grateful for that, though I wish they had built up my confidence more as a child by trusting me to do things on my own and encouraging me to stand up for myself.

My parents wouldn't let me get a mohawk when I was 5.

Same here with the teeth.

They also didn`t give me as much freedom as most of my friends had, but I was still able to work around the rules and make my fair share of mistakes (never underestimate a teenager!).

Their friendship is one thing I would have definitely wanted. We still don`t communicate well to the day, despite my attempts to reach out.

But all in all I am thankful for everything they did give me, and find it hard to blame them for anything at all. I think they are wonderful people and not for a second do I imagine I could have done better. We are just human beings, after all.

I find this is a harsh thread... I think most parents try to do the best thing with their children... and there's no such thing as perfect parents...

Over the years, I've learned to appreciate my parents and what they taught me... the rest, I'll learn on my own or with the help of other people (teachers, friends, colleagues...) I'm tired of people always blaming their parents for whatever they can't accomplish (I'm not saying that's what the OP did, it's just a general comment)...

they didn't give me a sibling.  i think i'd be a better person if they had.

Original Post by roylucie92:

I find this is a harsh thread... I think most parents try to do the best thing with their children... and there's no such thing as perfect parents...

Over the years, I've learned to appreciate my parents and what they teached me... the rest, I'll learn on my own or with the help of other people (teachers, friends, colleagues...) I'm tired of people always blaming their parents for whatever they can't accomplish (I'm not saying that's what the OP did, it's just a general comment)...

For starters, "teached" isn't a word.

And most people here haven't blamed their parents. Saying something like "I wish they'd taught me to be more independent, blah blah". Perhaps you're taking this thread a bit too personally. lol

Original Post by pgeorgian:

they didn't give me a sibling.  i think i'd be a better person if they had.

Heh. I think I'd be more stable and less inclined to tolerate toxic personalities if they hadn't! I was expected to take my brother's abuse and NOT retaliate so now I either go overboard in a fight to make up for lost time, or I was thinking for a long time certain cruel behaviors by men were "normal", but now I'm learning they're not.

Aside from that though I'm kind of glad my parents didn't do everything for me. When I got to college I was showing people in the dorm laundry room how to work the machines!

The things that my parents didn't give me ended up being a gift in itself. Sometimes learning things on your own or overcoming a disadvantage is bettter than if it was given to you in the first place. I'm so thankful for the things they didn't give me.

My parents gave me everything I needed and even some things that I didn't.

I wouldn't change anything about the way I was raised because it made me the person I am today. My mother was an alcoholic, well still is, that made me self reliant. My dad was always half way across the country. That made me understand that you can't always be with the people you love.

I appreciate everything they could and couldn't give me. There was a long time where I would have given my right arm for things to change, today I am thankful for the way they were. If they had done something different I might be more crazy then I am today. 

Original Post by roylucie92:

I find this is a harsh thread... I think most parents try to do the best thing with their children... and there's no such thing as perfect parents...

 

there is always one who gets the completely wrong idea of what it is all about :)