Should I be on a diet?

Hi everyone,

So here's my story:

As a child, I used to be very chubby because my family owned a chinese restaurant and always brought home greasy takeout for dinner. As I grew into my teens, I remember being made fun of by schoolmates and family who constantly called me fat, or made comments like "you need to lose weight or you won't fit through the door." 

In grade 9, I started to deprive myself of my meals in order to lose weight. I lost weight drastically. Months in my anorexic diet, I became so skinny that my friends and family started to worry about me. But the thinness they saw in me was not something I saw when I looked in the mirror - anorexia can trick you like that. I probably would not have stopped starving myself if my hair had not begun to fall off in clumps. I am assuming that since I starved myself during my pubescent years, that my body had not developed optimally. In hindsight, I regret painfully because I've lost thick lustrous hair and today my body frame is extremely small.

At grade 9, in my eyes, I was still a fat kid - true enough that my limbs appeared of skin and bones, but I was skinny-fat in that my small frame and skeletal limbs were coupled by a belly that haunts me to this day. Since my friends and family do not see my belly, they call me 'too skinny' today. I didn't start thinking about losing the gut until recently. 

Now I'm stuck in a predicament. 

At a mere 105 lbs (I'm a 5'5 male) I am definitely underweight - so I should not be losing weight. I want to gain weight, but I fear that the weight I gain will go directly to my tummy. I've been going to the gym and my tummy has slowly been receding. I do lots of cardio and count my calories. I would never tell anyone that I'm trying to lose weight because of how thin I appear. From time to time my relatives tell me how I'm too thin and people at the gym constantly suggest brands of weight gainers - but nobody knows about my gut. When I research online I am told to increase my caloric intake. But I simply don't know if I should be gaining weight considering the rolls I still have on my stomach. 

I understand that there is no such thing as 'spot-fat removal,' so if I want to lose that belly of mine, I'd have to be watching my diet, and losing fat everywhere. I also know that I can't limit my mass gain to certain areas of my body. So what should I be doing when my stomach tells me to lose weight but the rest of my body tells me I should be gaining mass? 

I'm tired of being scrutinized by others all my life and I don't want to hear those comments from people anymore. I just don't know what I should be doing. 

Any input would be great :) 

You can tighten up your tummy without losing weight.  I would think a good talk with a health wellness/fitness expert would be advisable.

I do know that back in my 30's I went from 167 to 185 by undergoing weight-lifting and playing a lot of basketball.  The weight-lifting was the key ingredient.  The BB kept my cardio going. I had a tight tummy and nice-looking muscles.

There are many healthy diets that can encourage you to gain weight (muscle) and lose your belly fat at the same time.  You can gain healthy weight, but you need a good diet, obviously good protein meals.

ABs/crunchers themselves will not reduce belly fat, but they will make your abs muscular so that when you do lose your belly fat, they will be noticeable. 

Yes, it is definitely possible to gain weight, but not gain fat around the belly.

umm no you should absolutely no be losing weight. Your BMI is at a 17.5 you need to gain weight. Please see a doctor. With your stats no one will or should be giving you any advice on weight loss. Please see a doctor, also visit the health and support and weight gain forums for extra support. Listen to your family also they are great support members if you just talk to them.

You need to gain weight, but you can gain muscle as well.  The more muscle you have, the better you'll look, and that should probably take care of the gut.  At the moment, you're what's referred to as "skinny fat."  Look in the fitness formums for how to do that healthily.

I agree with gem, you should go see a doctor.

 You can gain weight healthily. Gaining weight doesn't mean that you sit around eating cookies and cakes all day  because that WILL turn to fat. I suggest eating good healthy proteins i.e. eggs, chicken, beef, lots of veggies, some good healthy fats like olive oils, a little butter. But talk to your doctor about getting yourself on a healthy eating plan. High in calorie but in good calories. As a guy, you can do strength exercizes to build up your muscles and that would also ensure that your body will stay fit, but this doesn't mean that you should go overboard!

It sounds like you're sick of being told by other people how your body should look. Those kids who made nasty comments about you left deep hurts and the scars are still there. Honestly, even your 'chubby' photo looks like it's just a bit of puppy-fat. Kids are mean, and they look for all sorts of reasons to make fun of each other - even when those reasons are not really true. I saw it in a school-friend whose grandparents owned a chinese restaurant. She was a little chubbier than the rest of us but nothing unhealthy, and the other girls made her feel so fat that she ate nothing but apples for weeks. Now in her 20s, she's at a healthy weight and doesn't worry about it any more. I think it helped to discover that her boyfriends really didn't care how much she weighed. Also, she started focusing on things other than the way she looked to be proud of: she headed the chinese students association at university and switched to a degree that she was good at and made her happy.

To answer your question about the belly-fat, I've noticed in myself that I get a belly when I'm stressed, regardless of how much I weigh. And restricting your diet to an unhealthy extent can be part of that stress. If you're worried that you're underweight, see a doctor to find out if you really are. Put on more muscle if you want to (and that will mean eating more, specially protein) - but rather than focusing on the changes in how you look, try focusing on other things: your increase in strength, the good mood that exercise can cause, that kind of thing. Try getting good at other things that have more to do with your mind than your body, and watch how it helps your self-esteem and body image improve. So much of these issues are in our heads. I've had 'fat days' where just as I'm feeling like a total slug my husband will walk past and call me a goddess. Ok, so that part's probably in his head, but it does help to put things in perspective.

Its not your stomach thats too big, its the rest of your body thats too small.

Original Post by gem86:

umm no you should absolutely no be losing weight. Your BMI is at a 17.5 you need to gain weight. Please see a doctor. With your stats no one will or should be giving you any advice on weight loss. Please see a doctor, also visit the health and support and weight gain forums for extra support. Listen to your family also they are great support members if you just talk to them.

 you dont listen well or read for comprehension for that matter, HE SAID HES NOT TRYNA LOOSE WEIGHT, huh I really cant stand it when people are so quick to put in their two cents but dont read what the person  is saying.

Original Post by geturdone:

Original Post by gem86:

umm no you should absolutely no be losing weight. Your BMI is at a 17.5 you need to gain weight. Please see a doctor. With your stats no one will or should be giving you any advice on weight loss. Please see a doctor, also visit the health and support and weight gain forums for extra support. Listen to your family also they are great support members if you just talk to them.

 you dont listen well or read for comprehension for that matter, HE SAID HES NOT TRYNA LOOSE WEIGHT, huh I really cant stand it when people are so quick to put in their two cents but dont read what the person  is saying.

 First to the OP, sorry I was quick to post I missed the word "not" in the statement "not trying to lose weight". It was 7:30 am and obviously my eyes weren't adjusted. I do wish you luck though with gaining the weight that you seek. Though I still recommend seeing a doctor. They will deff. point you in the right direction for the proper nutrition you are seeking.

@geturdone - You're just ignorant and didn't lend anything to the OP that was useful. So how about you save your two cents for something useful.

You do need to gain weight, the best way to do that is with a calorie surplus while doing strength training.  Basically gain weight and try to gain as much muscle as possible.  Don't skip the healthy fats, whole grains and lean proteins.  As you continue to build muscle, your body will rearrange itself in more pleasing ways, but it does take time and effort.

you should not be on a diet at all - but make sure you eat enough healthy and whole food and keep going to the gym and doing cardio and weights and abs but don't overdo it. you just need to train your body and eat well to support yourself so your gym work won't drain you. you don't need to lose weight - exercise will help shape your body but definitely don't count calories. Sounds like you've been through enough already, just eat well and keep up the exercise :)

Original Post by geturdone:

 you dont listen well or read for comprehension for that matter, HE SAID HES NOT TRYNA LOOSE WEIGHT, huh I really cant stand it when people are so quick to put in their two cents but dont read what the person  is saying.

Not only are you rude - and have bad grammar for someone who complains about comprehension - but you're also incorrect.

The OP says they know they are underweight and they know they should not be losing weight. They also say they would never tell anyone they are trying to lose weight, because of how thin they appear.

However, he doesn't say he's not trying to lose weight - in fact it sounds to me as if he is. He's doing a lot of cardio and counting his calories. He wouldn't tell anyone that he is trying to lose weight because they wouldn't approve, but that's what he's been trying to do.

To the OP: you know you are underweight, so you need to gain weight. No ifs or buts about it. Remaining underweight is a far more serious issue than whether you have a gut or not (which I imagine is in your head, at your weight). Being underweight weakens your bones, muscles (and the heart is a muscle) and is damaging your internal organs.

If you are underweight from undereating, you can gain muscle without doing any strength training. Exercise while underweight is dangerous because your muscles and heart are weakened, and won't improve your health at all.

You may find that as you put on weight and your body fills out, you lose the "gut" you are worried about - possibly it's just loose skin.

A man at 5'5" and 105 pounds is at a starvation level weight, a young (14)  teenage boy maybe not so much, but still underweight.  A lot depends on your age

You should be discussing this with a trained nutritional/emotional  therapist. Just the fact that you STILL see a chubby kid indicates that your former problems with anorexia are still very much with you. You say you are counting calories: to make sure you get more? or Less?

Have you ever had to deal with bulemia issues?

For tummy tightening, crunches and sit ups are probably best...while you adjust calories to GAIN 10 pounds.