diet hater at work...

Ive tried really hard to loose weight and always loose track about 3 weeks into it, but im at like 3 weeks and i feel like im doing really well and im going to stick with it! working out 4 days a week, eatting soo much better, staying at 1250 calories a day, and theres this girl at work, and shes always saying how she needs to loose weight and go on a diet but then u see her run down to the grocery store on her break and get like a million treats someone on a diet shouldnt have, its her choice if she wants to be on a diet or not, but she always "bullies" me for being on a diet, and trying to eat right, i LOVE BAGELS and so i have been getting the mini ones and i have half a tablespoon of peanut butter on one for breakfast almost every morning, which is so good for how i used to eat, and she always says how thats not healthy at all, compared to a regular sized cheese bagel with cream cheese in it, um YES THAT IS HEALTHY and eatting those little oreo thin crisps 100 calorie packs, to get my chocolate fix, yet again she says thats not healthy at all, and its just so frustrating i want to be like let me make a life change and eat healtheir and loose weight, i feel like if shes not eatting right i cant? thats how she makes it seems, i know this is long and all rantish but just ugh! does anyone else know people like this, how do u deal with them, oh and me and this girl are only work friends not like hey lets go get coffee and hang out friends...

ugh~~!

I have a friend who is frusterating me also, along similar lines, although not the same.

I've dropped about 15 pounds since joining CC earlier this year, and about 20-25 total since my heaviest weight this spring.  I just recently hit my starter goal of 135, and she sometimes would have some comment about worrying about me being anorexic--despite the fact that I have been 135 my entire teen/adult life until the last two years :P  (Also despite the fact that for a 5'6 adult woman, 135 is a completely acceptable BMI)

Anyhow now I want to make a longer-term goal of 130 by the end of the year.  I don't really care if I actually get down to 130, or when it might happen, but I just want to give myself a little extra scale clearance, you know?  Ugh, now I hate to ever mention any minor victories ("I said no to Chocolate!" or "My dress finally fits again!") to her, because I get the "I'm worried about you!  First it's 135, not it's 130, and soon you'll be saying just x more pounds!".

I try to remind myself that when she was in college she had a lot of friends with real eating disorders (some of which required stays in hospitals), so her concern is probably coming from a good place, but 1) I don't appreciate people putting words in my mouth and 2) Give me some credit!  She's known me long enough (15 years!) to known that I have no interest in starving myself or purging or whatnot.  She also tends to take the preachy patronizing tone when she gets on her soapbox...

So, my advice (finally, sorry!), is to let it go.  And maybe complain to someone else about her behavior (either here on the CC boards like we both just did -and my that felt good!- and/or to other people that know you both).  And remind yourself that we all choose different diets for herself.  Maybe she thinks she is helping you out, maybe she is trying to sabotage you--but if you feel good about your diet plan, then who cares.  Try her advice if it sounds good, ignore it if it doesn't.

Hope that helped you...  it sure helped me!

I have a similar situation...the people at my work always want to go eat at different very bad places (one is actually called the "grease grill"!) and they bully me about wanting to eat a sandwich or something.

it REALLY upsets me because 1) its my body 2) lunch is my time during to do whatever i want 3) it is none of their business.

i tend to just make excuses now for things i need to do during lunch (to avoid eating around them). this doesn't really solve your problem though...

i think just keep doing what you're doing. it sounds like you know you are on the right track. just keep believing in yourself, sticking to YOUR plan, telling yourself its  NO ONE elses' business, and ranting here when you need to!

 

amwilmarth-

thats so great you have lots 25 pounds! i want to loose 29 more as a first goal,and 20 more after that as a second goal..

in a way i cant believe your friend would think u have an eatting disorder she should know you better than that. thanks for the advice =)

Ilovedietcoke-

i can totally relate to the work people wanting to go out to eat, our work is right next to haggen a grocery store, and all my friends go down there on their breaks and get things to eat or go there for lunch and always want me to go with and get something, if i do go i get a salad or something, while they get doughtnuts or pasta or something and its really hard to not give in!

im glad you are sticking to your plan and not going to the grease grill! haha i cant believe a place would want to name themselves that!

 

 

I guess we all have someone like that... My best friend is super thin shes 5'7 110lbs and she eats...ALOT shes constantly eating anyways im obvioulsy the complete opposite im 5' 195lbs (down from 215 in august) and we will get together and she brings doritos, chips and dip, candy, chocolate, sodas...and thats all fine it doesnt bother me because I have my snacks that I eat but then she will laugh and find it funny that im snacking on carrots or pop corn and she gets to eat whatever she wants...trying to make me jealous I guess...but it doesnt work she just looks dumb doing it...I still love her tho lol

chantale1985-

thats great your down 20 pounds! im only down 7 so far, till i weigh myself today hopefull im down like 3 more pounds!

i have friends like that too, they can eat whatever they want and dont gain a pound, and i am jealous, we have to work really hard to loose weight and they would have to work really hard to gain weight if they ever wanted to, ugh, unfair...thats so good you arent letting it bother you, i have to bring healthy snacks to movies n stuff with my friends and they get like huge buttery and salty pop corn and huge pops and candy bars...but they shouldnt have to change how they eat around us just b/c we are trying to eat better, its not their fault they dont gain weight and we do, but her "rubbing it in your face" isnt very nice.

Well everyone where I'm at is kind of like that.

I was 163 pounds in Jan. and am  now plateauing it between 139-140 (it's frustrating.) anyway...point of the matter is I'm still slightly over weight. From day one and still going my fiance' keeps telling me I don't need to lose weight he loves me this way and he says I'm obsessed now with my weight when I weigh myself (which I only do twice a week. haha.) exercise 5 days a week (that's apparently too much) and come to this site. He then one day told me that he loved me at 163 and that I was va va voom sexy. (lmao.) But, it hasn't stopped me.

Then one day I was exercising and his mom said she could tell I've lost a lot of weight from my hips, thighs, chest, even my face. Thing is I've been plataeuing so long that she asked me how much I weighed like a month or 3 weeks ago and I'm pretty much the same weight she was shocked as she said she would have guessed me at 130, then she was trying to set a good weight for me to stop at which is like 125 or 120, but no lower. (oh, that's going to be a treat as my goal is 110. :/)

My fiance's dad hasn't said too much, once in awhile he'll try to give me cookies. lmao. and surprisenly enough my fiance' shouts out she doesnt want them! Haha. And he one day made a comment that I was swimming out of shirt now which was a joke since I changed me shirt to a larger one to lounge in for the day. Haha.

So, I know how you feel. I also have a friend back around were I grew up who thinks it's ridiculous to diet. I mean you are going to have people out there who are going to give you obstacles, but you just look at them put a smile on your face and know there is no reason to give them any reasons or answers to what you are doing. You know inside yourself this is for YOU and it should always stay that way. Like a dream, don't let anyone get in your way. :)

In most of these cases I think I would say "That is a really rude thing to say," and then leave the area that the offending person is in, if possible.

She's what's called a diet sabotager (OK I know... not a real word).  I work with a couple of women like this.  I no longer tell them anything about what I eat, my weight, my workouts. etc... and they in turn don't get into my business.  As this girl sees more and more results from your hard work, she'll probably be seeking advice from you. :)  Good Luck and stay strong!

As I've read a million times here on the forums, CC is about shifting to a healthier lifestyle more than about dieting.  It sounds as though you're doing that, and absolutely the biggest obstacle for anyone changing their lifestyle is their coworkers, friends and family.  People I thought I knew well began reacting in strange ways when I started eating more sensible portions and exercising every day.  The old "you've-got-an-eating-disorder" reaction was the worst.  As for how to deal with it, I've followed advice from the forums:

-tell them you can't eat those particular greasy foods, doctor's orders.

-simply tell them you don't eat those foods.  Why?  You just don't.  (This way they hopefully don't feel as judged as they would if you said you were trying to be more healthy.)

-remember (as you said) that it's your body and not theirs, and that you have the power to do what you want with it.

It's fashionable to say that a person's 'outsides' don't matter, that they're still the same person no matter what, but the relationships you have with other people change depending on how they perceive you.  Healthy weight is associated with self-control in our culture, a capacity we find desirable and yet a capacity that is constantly being undermined by marketing strategies ("Give in to our sensuous chocolate such-and-such").  Someone who is perceived to have self-control gains an upper hand in social interactions.  I see it happen all the time.  Gaining power will change the way you interact with your coworkers; it will make them more insecure, which they will try to dispel with humor and underhanded compliments.  I suppose they're really not doing it on purpose, it's just that they're uncomfortable with your changing social role.  I say give them time; they'll get used to it.

Although it's totally none of her business what you eat, AND the mini bagel with PB is way better than a big bagel with a heap of cream cheese on top (no matter how great it is, I totally agree), plus is has fibre and protein and probably fills you up in the am...the mini 100cal packets things are actually pretty unhealthy, for what they are.  Per weight, they have a large amount of saturated fat, so watch out with thoes (one a day, not going to kill you, but if every snack is one of those suckers, it can add up to an unhealthy amount....if there were a 'healthy' amount of sat fat).

But other than that, tell her that you chose not to point out all the things in her diet that you think are unhealthy, and you would appreciate if she would do the same.  Basically, you need to tell her that it's not her business and that if she's refusing to be supportive in any way, that you would rather not hear her negative opinion.

I think a lot of people just don't know how to deal with their friends/family/co-workers changing.  It can make people uncomfortable because they know their eating habits aren't good, or make them jealous because they want to lose weight, or some people just don't understand why people eat healthy or try to lose weight because either they aren't overweight or because they just don't know the truth.  This new lifestyle is about You and your body and you don't need other people's approval..you know that you are being healthy and treating your body and who knows maybe your healthy habits will eventually rub off on some of the people around you. Their words might be hurtful but try your best to let them bounce off of you.  They just don't understand what your doing and you cannot force them to.

 What you eat is entirely your business, of course.  I don't think it's anyone's place to comment on it or for you to have to rationalise it.   But maybe she's sensitive about something and you could play on it in response?  Best form of defense is attack.   If she's got lousy hair maybe you could remark on it and give her helpful tips on how to stop it looking like a haystack.  Terrible dress sense? ... give her a few fashion pointers on clothing that won't make her bum look so fat.  Spots?  Bad breath?  Trouble keeping a boyfriend?  All great opportunities to swap wise words of friendly advice.....  She's doing the same for you, after all.

And if all fails I find the invitation to "go **** yourself" often shuts people up.  Have fun!

 

There is nothing more annoying then struggling and working out and finally getting to goal weight, desperately trying to keep it off, and some ignorant bozo sees you being careful with food, which is SO HARD, starts harping that you're anorexic.

It's even more annoying when you gain the weight back and they same bozo now starting harping at you to lose weight.

Idiots are everywhere, blubbering fools who babble about what's healthy and what isn't blah blah blah.  At work you have to be polite. Say "Thank you for your concern but I am doing just fine." followed by a tight smile. Out of work you can tell them what you *really* think.