Dieting a blow to self-esteem? Anyone else experience this?

Ok, so I'm eating healthy, I'm exercising 5-6 days a week. I feel fantastic. I sleep like the dead, I have tons of energy, I look forward to my meals and workout. My only complaint? It's actually harder for me to maintain my good body-image while losing weight.

It seems a little counter-intuitive, doesn't it?

Maybe it's denial, but I just didn't think about my weight that often when I wasn't losing any of it. I thought I looked ok, that I carried my weight well, and just figured that I wanted to be healthy, so I would make some changes towards that end.

Of course, with these healthy changes came weight loss, and now I can't escape my weight. Suddenly I feel healthy but my weight isn't going to be 'healthy' for a full year. Suddenly my weight is the topic of too many conversations. Everyone wants to talk about dieting and what I'm doing and instead of looking in the mirror and paying attention to what I like (something I had no problem with pre-diet), I'm paying attention to what isn't improving. My scale has become the enemy. Suddenly my weight is everyone's business and this common topic, and any mention of my weight = fat = appalling BMI = complete impatience with my body.

And the compliments. Don't get me wrong, I like 'em. But did you ever get a haircut that was adorable? You go to work and the first 5 people you see tell you how absolutely fabulous you look, how young you look, etc. And it's great. Until 50 more people say the same thing, then it's like 'wow, what did I look like yesterday?'

I know it's not rational. I know I'd rather focus on being healthy, that I should celebrate the small victories, and that they add up to big changes. But it just seems HARDER than it was when I was just coasting along maintaining my obese weight.

Anyone similar?

I do find my self esteem has plummeted since I've started losing weight.  I get a lot of compliments at work (especially recently all of a sudden - isn't that weird how that happens?) but don't like at ALL what I see in the mirror (espec. naked). 

I think that part of it is because we're focusing on losing weight, we're also that much more focused on our bodies than we were before.  We're noticing pockets of flab here and there that we maybe overlooked before, or are more noticable now that other areas have shrunk.  We're focusing on the negative because that's what we want to remove, rather than the positives we were (sometimes desperately, in my case) focusing on in the past to make us feel better, or that people commented on because our bodies were not "complimentable" (not a word, I know) at the time.  "Oh, you have beautiful hair!"  "I love those shoes!" - so we focus on having great hair, and fab shoes because that is what people are noticing and pointing out.

Just my 2 cents I guess.

I find that for me, weight loss is pretty narcissistic -- I become a little obsessed by me -- what I am eating, what I am weighing, what clothes fit, when will I drop another size, am I getting enough exercise, am I on a plateau, etc., etc.

And I certainly notice parts of my body that I never noticed before.  I have always had good legs (strong and pretty long), and yesterday I noticed this bit of flab behind my knee that I never noticed before.  What's up with that I thought, and ran to the full length mirror to obsess about it. 

The last time I lost a significant amount of weight (about 30 years ago) I eventually got bored with all the self-absorption and stopped "dieting".  I didn't gain weight quickly (I had lost it pretty sensibly on WW), but did gradually start eating mindlessly, and gained about 5-6 pounds a year.  Here I am, 30 years later with lot of weight to lose.  So, my plan this time is to make step-wise lifestyle changes that I plan to live with for the rest of my life.  This keeps me from obsessing about my eating, and to some extent about my weight (since it is coming off slowly) -- but I still am obsessing about my body way more than I am really comfortable with.  My one rule is the only person I am allowed to bore with endless discussions about my body is my poor husband -- and of course CC forums!

Dkenworthy - I totally agree. Last time I lost a good amount of weight, I became obsessive. I was never happy with myself because there's always something else that needs improving. And this time I am limiting myself to talking about the weightloss, the exercise, the "plan" in general to one real life friend and on here.

Minda - I know how you feel too. Before dieting I wasn't paying attention, wasn't thinking about it. I knew I was overweight, but I wasn't so aware that I couldn't turn it off. Now even when I feel great about one accomplishment, like my running routine, I still take my shirt off and watch my self esteem plummet as my disgusting post-baby-belly comes into view.

Going to keep working at it though. Sometimes the mental battle is equally as hard (if not harder) than the physical one.

Definitely agree with you. Before when I was 15lbs heavier, I didn't give a damn what I looked like. I never weighed myself. I just didn't care. For whatever reason, now I'm obsessive with my appearance. And not just my weight, either. I have become very self-absorbed in my appearance in general, which is definitely not a good thing. My teeth aren't white enough, my hair is too curly, my skin isn't perfect, etc. I don't know quite how to stop it, though.

Perhaps I should up my Zoloft dosage, lol.

I totally get what you mean!!! Dieting suddenly makes you focus on WHY you are doing it in the first place - because you think that something about your body/lifestyle needs improvement. Since change happens slowly, you have to spend a lot of time and effort fixing it and coming face-to-face with your faults, which can often be demoralizing. My poor boyfriend had to put up with this crabby, snarling bi*** for a few weeks when I started dieting!

Still -- don't be too discouraged! I only have a few pounds to lose, so the light at the end of the tunnel is a bit closer. My body has started to reflect my hard work and my butt is perking up (!!!!!!!!!!) - my self-esteem has followed suit too.

:)