Hi all,
Am wondering whether anyone can help. I'm currently calorie counting to lose excess poundage but have a rather predictable problem. I'm 20-something and live with my partner, him as a 20-something male naturally has an extremely rapid metabolism, he could eat 3000cals a day most days and not gain weight. I want to cut out my cals but we share evening meals and as we're both students we're on a limited budget so I can't buy more than one or two separate evening meals a week. Also he doesn't eat seafood so I don't have the option of nice high protein content meals with few calories! Any suggestions for meals we could share where he will feel happy and full for sometime but are still relatively low in calories for me?
Cheers
my first thought is beans dishes, -like chilli or lentil stews or ? hearty soups.
. . . or chicken dishes with veggies. there are lots of recipes out there that will give you a calorie break down, and tofu. which takes me to:
portion sizes.
get a little food scale or use a postage scale, and start to measure things out if you aren't doing it already. its the rice and pasta that get me calorie wise, so i focus on veggies and protein and get most of my whole grains earlier in the day. i dont know if its healthy, but it keeps my calories down.
you might just have to get used to seeing your bo eats 1000+ cals in a sitting while your struggeling to keep it under 500. i find it easier if i eat four small meals a day. then im not as hungry while everyone else is pigging out. for me, 4oz of meat and a turnip is my fancy dinner. some people can eat a 12oz steak and think its small. definately not my reality! give yourself way more veggies, know your grain serving size and calories, let him add his own fats/salts etc after its served. . . . you could also offer him a bread/dinner roll and butter, but forego that part. and so on.
I am such a sale shoppper...here are some tips. - Don't be afriad to use coupons! They are always in the paper. Check out the local stores, and go to where has foods on sale, and use your coupons...and you can maybe get more variety for you, without spending the extra money. Also, food wise, I found these all wheat low carb (mission brand) soft tortila shells...they are only 100 calories and I put grilled chicken breast in them...that is filling and tasty. I fixed that this weekend for me and my boyfriend, and he didn't complain at all. He added all the fixings to his, and I had my chicken (faijita flavor added) and low fat sour cream and we had a nice Mexican flavored dinner. Satisfied us both and low cal for me. And I have found those tortillias useful for a lot of things...you can throw all kind of healthy things in there! Use your imagination lol
That is all I have right now, I;ll let you know if I can think of anything else! :)
What do you mean when you say "buy" two separate meals?
When one of you prepares dinner (and I hope he shares this chore) simply prepare a low calorie meal. Then offer higher calorie sides to the person who is needs more calories. Things like bread and butter, cheese sauce, extra potatoes, etc. Portion control is another way to deal with it. He gets bigger portions, you measure and weigh yours.
Things in the grocery store that are inexpensive include
-Old fashioned rolled oats (as opposed to the kind packaged in expensive little envelope portions)
-Legumes, such as dry beans and lentils. You can get these canned as well if you don't want to take the time to cook them.
-Fresh, dark green, leafy vegetables, such as kale, collard greens and others.
-Carrots are usually reasonably priced
-Cabbage is inexpensive
-Onions and potatoes
-Sweet potatoes or yams
-Fruits in season - look at the price sign for the least expensive
-Bananas - a nutritional bargain!
-Frozen vegetables on sale
-Low fat or fat free dairy products of all kinds
-Eggs, and eat the whole egg, unless your doctor tells you not to.
Other tips - check the prices for chicken, not just the boneless, skinless breasts. If you buy a part like thighs that are on the bone, you can save the bones and skin in the freezer until you have enough to make chicken stock.
Look for those bags of lower priced breakfast cereals. They are usually kind of sugary, but the non dieter in the house might be happy.
Always shop the sales and be prepared to stock up.
I hope this helps!
check around for a produce stand in your area - I save a lot of money by shopping there. I just buy one or two pieces of fruit so I have a large assorted bowl. and I stock up on veggies there too.
As for cooking I make a basic protein (chicken, pork, etc) and then make a carb side (i.e. rice, potato, etc) and then have my veggie with it. Since my hubby refuses to eat certain veggies I simply make steamed stuff that cooks in the same amt of time. Then for dessert it a piece of fruit w. some yogurt (whatevers on sale that week!)
Tacos/fajitas are also good - just use lean ground beef!! I have tacos for him and a taco salad for me! Its all the same ingredients but I only have one shell cracked into my salad w. extra salsa!
Mrs Dash/Lawry's Marinades - always on sale for Buy One Get One... just use 1/4 bottle marinade 2 chicken breasts/pieces in a small baggie for 30 mins... bake in oven, serve with a baked sweet potato and a Green Giant Veggie steam in bag (again stock up when on sale!).
Oven baked fries & with shake & bake chicken nuggets! for night you want a little treat with out it being deep fried!
I agree with clairelaine.... don't buy meals... make them. (And share the cooking, you're his partner, not his maid 
) Use cheap ingredients like vegetables, pulses (legumes), pasta, eggs etc., to keep the cost down. You get a small portion because you're overweight, he gets a larger one because he's not overweight. Dead easy.
For example, a simple cheap dish would be a Frittata... Basically, eggs, potatoes, some beans and spring onions with a little cheese for flavour... all very cheap. Protein in spades from the eggs, beans and cheese. Treble the quantities in my recipe - he has two portions, you have one with some salad.
I know that I have to remind myself about portion control. When you're cooking a meal for two, it's easy to just put half on your plate and half on his, regardless of who needs what amount of calories.
And in a weird way, I feel "cheated" by not getting as big a portion as my husband, even though I don't need it. Such is my weird and unhealthy relationship with food (which I'm working on). At every meal, I have to remind myself that I am a much smaller person then he is, and therefore don't need as much food as he does.
And I second others' thoughts about re-thinking the work distribution. In our house, the balance is that I cook, but hubby clears the plates and does all the dishes. Or sometimes he cooks, but rarely. I prefer to be the cook, since: a) I enjoy it, and b) that way I know exactly what's gone into the meal and can be conscious of what I'm eating. But that's just us. Find the balance that works for you--just make sure it's a balance!
Original Post by apophenia:
I know that I have to remind myself about portion control. When you're cooking a meal for two, it's easy to just put half on your plate and half on his, regardless of who needs what amount of calories.
And in a weird way, I feel "cheated" by not getting as big a portion as my husband, even though I don't need it. Such is my weird and unhealthy relationship with food (which I'm working on). At every meal, I have to remind myself that I am a much smaller person then he is, and therefore don't need as much food as he does.
And I second others' thoughts about re-thinking the work distribution. In our house, the balance is that I cook, but hubby clears the plates and does all the dishes. Or sometimes he cooks, but rarely. I prefer to be the cook, since: a) I enjoy it, and b) that way I know exactly what's gone into the meal and can be conscious of what I'm eating. But that's just us. Find the balance that works for you--just make sure it's a balance!
I agree with feeling like it isn't fair that my hubby gets to eat more. I found that using a smaller plate really does help with controlling the portions.
As for cheaper meals and such I find that making a plan the week before, along with a grocery list of what I need and then only buying what's on the list really helps me spend less on groceries. It sounds like a pain, and I'll be honest, I often hate to do it, but it makes the rest of the week SO much easier.
I'm a big fan of a blog called "Cheap Healthy Good". They have a ton of recipes that satisfy me and my boyfriend (who is successfully losing tons of weight while eating 2400 a day... I'm jealous!) both find filling. They break the recipes down by price per serving and calories per serving. Tons of the recipes are 250-400 calories (main dishes) and between .70 and 1.75 a serving. Tonight I made their Baked Eggplant with Mushroom-Tomato Sauce. At 1.66 a serving and 180 calories, it = awesome. I left too much salt on the eggplant so the leftover servings will be fed to the bottomless boyfriend, but I'm definitely making it again!
Right now I believe everyone is on a budget. I try to get as many things from Costco (or any other club) such as turkey groud meat, chicken breasts, oatmeal, etc. I only buy fruits and vegetables on a regular grocery store so they don't go bad before I get to eat them.
tonight for example I made some turkey burgers. Tomorrow I'm I'm making oatmeal hotcakes. Which are very very low in calories and you don't use any flour which I love.
here is the recipe which should be more than enough for both of you.
2 cups of oatmeal (regular non instant)
2 cups of low fat or fat free milk
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon of baking powder
2 eggs
Mix the oatmeal with the sugar and baking powder. Add the milk and the vanilla and let it sit for about 20 minutes so that the oats soak up well.
Separate the yolk and egg white (put the yolks in the oatmeal mix and the egg white on a separate contanier.
Using a mixer (or put your guy to wisk ;) ) mix the egg whites until it's nice and frothy. Once done mixing the egg whites, mix the oeatmeal mix you'll notice the consistency is a bit thicker than with regular hotcakes.
Incorporate the egg whites and you got your mix ready start cooking them as you would regular hotcakes.
Enjoy
And in a weird way, I feel "cheated" by not getting as big a portion as my husband, even though I don't need it. Such is my weird and unhealthy relationship with food (which I'm working on). At every meal, I have to remind myself that I am a much smaller person then he is, and therefore don't need as much food as he does.
I thought I was the only one who felt this way, like if I don't get as big a portion as everyone else, I've been wronged. And heaven forbid if I don't get a piece at all, it's like there's been a great injustice in my world. One thing that helps me is that I will dish out equal portions on our plates, then when he's still hungry from eating my portion size, he gets more. By that time, I'm usually full, so I don't even consider that he got more than me. I usually save what ever is left for my lunch the next day.
As for making meals that we'll both enjoy without breaking my calorie bank, I just make whatever I want, excluding the one or two things he absolutely hates or cannot eat. I do almost all the cooking and grocery shopping. My advice for eating on the cheap--buy what's on sale, buy what's in season, don't be afraid of frozen vegetables, don'tbe afraid of store-brands, use coupons, home-made is better than store-bought, and buy in bulk whenever possible-you can always divide the packages at home. It's just me and Hubby, and I've found that it's almost more expensive to cook for 2 than for 4.
I'm also a completely broke 20-something...and while I don't LIVE with my 20-something boyfriend, we're together for many-a-meal.
Might I suggest cooking meals that you'd both enjoy--but giving HIM most of it? I like to buy chicken, SUPER-cheap rice, and some fresh veggies. Things like rice are so cheap that you can buy tons at once--and your boyfriend can have twice as much as you.
Also, veggies can be extremely filling and not too, too expensive. I like to get zucchini, mushrooms and onions--chop 'em up, pour some light soy sauce. You can eat a ton of it, feel full, and you'll have consumed very few calories.
Also, thin steaks--tofu covered in sesame sauce--and wraps! I'm not the best cook in the world, but I cover it up by pouring some kind of meat into whole wheat tortillas or lettuce wraps. There are some amazing marinades that keep the same meats exciting and new.
Also, you can always make chicken alfredo or some other pasta--but you eat the meat/veggies--and he gets the pasta alongside it. Pasta's cheap as you can get.
And never underestimate the power of a fancy sandwich...somehow, once you put lunch meat in a pan and bread in the toaster--things seem much, much tastier.
Good luck!
Along with the other great suggestions provided, buy in bulk.
You can cut out the oil and he won't even notice, with PAM or a teflon pan. I think the portion controlling would work unless you can't help but compete for who has the bigger portion. In that case, just eat slower and tell yourself that you don't have to finish everything. In fact, I eat slowly because, unless we're sitting down to dinner, I usually prefer to clean up the kitchen mess right after I cook. So usually by the time I get back to my plate, he's already eaten half of mine anyway. And if he hasn't, then the half that I don't eat can be put away for the next day, which also saves money and time.
Since when does making dinner and cleaning up afterward make someone just a maid and less of a partner... He pays for everything when we eat out, maybe that makes me a golddigging maid... lol
ok, i didnt read everyone's replies but my boyfriend and i are also going to college and living together and i really cant afford much of anything right now.
he is also vegan, so we cut out a lot of food.
the first thing i would suggest.. well, just because you eat together it doesnt mean you have to eat the same thing. just have what you need/ want so that you can lose weight. if you cook, you can do it easily.
now, i dont pay for 100% of my food, i have my bf's food sometimes, or his parents (hehe) but the bulk of it i pay for, and i spend less than $60 a month, and i would think you have more than that so you have a lot more options.
everything we eat is healthy. here's some of the things i love that are cheeaaapp
for breakfast i grate a potato and use some olive oil spray on a teflon pan and make myself a hash brown.. just add salt (not too much). its good with other herbs too. maybe some coffee, i use honey to sweeten it and add rice milk or skim milk.
we make a huge pot of chili once every two weeks, just tomatos and a variety of beans, mushrooms, peppers, celery carrots.. potatoes, whatever we have left.
we also eat a ton of peanut butter. whole wheat bread or english muffins, with peanut butter. jelly sometimes, usually for snacks. i have it in the morning.
oh rice! and frozen veggies! we add soy or teriyaki and have Chinese, i love those nights :D rice is so cheap, and if you get brown rice its going to be a lot healthier even though it takes longer to make, you dont really have to cook, just wait for the water to soak up so its not a big deal for us. we always just have a big bag of frozen veggie mix.
pasta. we have it all the time. i look for different kinda of marinara from the store because i dont like making it.
mushrooms with potatos and tomatoes, baked potatoes... we make big pots of soup. cold cereal.. from walmart, something simple like the generic chex.. its all good and healthy, and even though its not all low calorie, you can limit your portions easily.
making every meal might seem like a lot of work if you dont do it already, but it saves a lot of money and it becomes easy once you get used to it.
the majority of the meals i eat cost less than $1. pasta and potatoes and beans and things cost cents, and they are calorie dense. so what i do is eat slowly, and i drink water before during and after ( water is so good for you! ) and if i am still hungry, i have a banana or an apple. also, i have managed to adjust to eating 6 meals a day even with college and things. And since i do eat calorie and nutrient rich foods, i hardly ever feel hungry. i used to be scared of eating a lot of food, like chili, that has a lot of calories per serving, but its actually easier to stop eating because i feel like i have actually got some food in me. and when i want to munch, fruits and veggies.
also.. another thing you might want to consider is... skipping out on food that isnt healthy. usually prepared food is overpriced and full of crap that no one needs in their bodies. pick the most expensive "bad" food that you still buy and consider an alternative food. i still buy the milka chocolate.. mm but i do it hardly at all. i also used to get stuff like 100 cal packs and sugar free jello, its not worth all that money for something that is, well, not much food. only 60 cal per jello cup... its like buying expensive water. diet food and low cal food like that is a waste of money
I am trying to keep the budget down as well. I find that making sandwiches is a really cheap alternative, with some nice 100% whole grain bread of course! Deli is really cheap too and you can get a few sandwiches out of it. BANANA's are a really cheap and filling snack or side to meals. I would stay away from fruit/vegetables that aren't in season due to the price. I also like chicken breast and a side for suppers. One chicken breast between me and my boyfriend is plenty, sometimes we cut the chicken breast in tiny chicken pieces and then do a shake and bake version of chicken nuggets. Rice is a nice cheap side to any dish, as well as potatoes, corn, fried onions and bell peppers, etc.
I remember those days... Unfortunately,we used to do a lot of processed foods, only because it was honestly cheaper to buy a pkg of noodles in sauce($1), than it was to buy all the ingredients to make the same thing... One of my faves, and I always felt decadent about it, was to cube up a chicken breast and cook that up with a can of mushrooms, and some chopped onion(add whatever seasoning you like), then I would make a pkg of fetuccini alfredo noodles, just used skim milk & skipped the butter, my husband never even noticed, and add the chicken mixture to it, serve it with a salad and you're set. It was sooo good, and really the fat and cals were pretty good (I'm sure the sodium level wasn't that great, but hey, one step at a time!) If you add an extra pkg of noodles, you get leftovers for another nights dinner that's ready with the touch of your microwave button, great for those on the go nights that you might not have time to cook (we had TONS of those)
This doesn't work anymore now that I have 2 extra, growing appetites in our house, and it is much cheaper (and healthier) to make it from scratch.
My husband is always more than willing to help out in the kitchen, but for the sake of watching what I'm eating, I prefer to cook, he will follow the directions to the T, where as I am more than willing to leave out the 2 tbsp of oil when making up fajita chicken, no one ever notices, but he gets lost as soon as you ask him to stray from the directions. K, he's a little OCD. 
As for portion control, our dinner plates are VERY big, and I found it really hard to "eat small" on them, I always felt like I was cheating myself, so once we had the kids, I started eating on their plates, they are about half the size of the others... My kids loved that I was eating on Barbie or Monsters Inc. and I can fill my plate, and not feel deprived! It's all a mind game. I have since found "grown up" plates at the dollar store that are the same size, and those are "mom's plates" now, but the tables are turned and the kids get excited when they get to use those.
Good luck!
I usually make two meals. One for me (i.e.healthy & full of veg/protein) and one for him (meat & two veg- typical Irishman)- or I do like the others suggested; I have a smaller portion if I make a stew/casserole, or give him 3/4 quiche with potatoes/fries and have 1/4 myself with sidesalad. It takes a bit of effort, but its not impossible.
I do similar things as the other folks who have replied, but if I'm not being mindful of what I need, portion control is extremely difficult. Equality of the sexes does not mean equal plate sizes! It's a tough pill to swallow!
As far as seafood thing goes: my husband doesn't like seafood, although he says he will try it "someday"...which has turned out to be never. On occasions when I want seafood for dinner (when a tuna or salmon sandwich just won't do), I cook something that I can easily substitute a piece of chicken or sausage for him and have my tilapia or salmon...like brown rice, broccoli. He won't even eat the chicken if it's cooked in the same pan, though, so it does mean extra dirty dishes. His fault, though, so he has to wash them!
Was looking for a thread like this one, in my current 'dilemma' and I enjoyed reading all the posts. :) It was nice to see that I'm not alone. :)
As for me...my b/f and I often have dinner as our biggest meal. As many of you have stated, I too have felt somewhat deprived or wronged that I sometimes have been made to feel I have to eat a smaller portion (since I also am working on weight loss). My b/f and I often make spaghetti (1, it's not too hard to make, 2, it usually allows for him to bring to work for his lunch the following day). Though, I have to admit...err....hehe..there have been times when we'd make a whole box of pasta and eat almost the entire box between the 2 of us! Now, he usually is the one to eat majorly huge portions (his growing and maintaining much bigger appetite since he quite smoking just over a year ago!), but I have had my share. Another example, one night my b/f and I made spaghetti and my b/f tried to really curb my portions telling me that I didn't need it, (to help me stick to my weight loss routine and not go over board), but I then felt it was wrong that I could only eat 'x' amount, but he was allowed to eat however much and then take the remainder to work for lunch!
It's a tough, tough battle we women seem to have to deal with, having men in our lives that naturally can eat much more and not necessary have it bother them in any way. Well, since my b/f has quite smoking he has gained some weight and I try to remind him of this (to remind him that he's not 'invincible' to being able to eat as much as he wants and not gain any weight).
We also cook the white pasta and while I love it, I also want to try eating more of the wheat pastas, which my b/f isn't as keen about. So, this brings me not only to the conclusion that I need to just deal with having smaller portions in our meals together, but also having to really make 2 seperate meals. I cook wheat pasta, for instance, and he can cook his white. It's not that I want him to eat the 'less healthy' pasta, but if he's not ready for the change, I can't force him (I've tried to have him try some healthy versions and sometimes it works, but most of the time he's just 'set' right now in his eating habits).
I'm 29, to turn 30 in Nov. and my b/f is just over 30. We've been living together since this past April/May....and even though that's almost a year, it's still hard to handle with meals at times. (He lived at home for most of his life, w/ his parents, and they don't have the best eating habits either. We find ourselves eating over there more often than I'd like (though I appreciate it and enjoy their company, etc.), I feel a bit less at ease with knowing about the food choices, etc.
Anyway, I feel the adapations to the meals we have together is just something I'm going to have to undertake, if I want to really succeed in my own weight loss! Maybe after he sees the success I've made (when I get to my goal!) and when the weather gets nicer, he might be even more willing to eat better too! :D
P.S. We don't just eat pasta for every meal, but it was a major example I could think of for this post. 
~Margo
