difference between men and women...this "wonders" me

Some background info...my husband's done triathlons for a few years. He's lessened his training due to a bad shoulder and, hence, has gained some weight - not much, but the difference IS noticeable.  Being a "good wife" (I try) I haven't mentioned it.

Anyway...we finally got some nice weather here so my husband pulls out a pair of shorts (from last year) and puts them on - they're too tight.  So he says, "These stupid shorts shrunk!"  I had to leave the room so he wouldn't see how high my eyebrows shot up my forehead. It totally reminded me of this:

http://realityme.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/ 08/mirror-image-perceptions.jpg

Why is it that we women are so hard on ourselves and men (in general) are not? In most species it's the male that does the preening, puffing, chest-pounding, etc. to impress. Why isn't it like that with us?

Original Post by runyourlife:

Original Post by trhawley:

Clothes do shrink you know.

yep...and foreheads get longer

 sorry...I couldn't resist

I live in Miami. Most guys in their late teens to thirties wear nice clothes, have many different pairs of shoes, many different 'accessories' (belt buckles, sunglasses).

My boyfriend must have... thirty different pairs of shoes/sandals, at least 10-15 different watches, at least 10 pairs of sunglasses, who knows how many belt buckles... And in his fraternity, he is one of the 'less flashy' people.

I mean it's nice to see guys caring about what they wear and looking nice, but sometimes I feel like I'm competing... with men?

Original Post by muttlover:

I live in Miami. Most guys in their late teens to thirties wear nice clothes, have many different pairs of shoes, many different 'accessories' (belt buckles, sunglasses).

My boyfriend must have... thirty different pairs of shoes/sandals, at least 10-15 different watches, at least 10 pairs of sunglasses, who knows how many belt buckles... And in his fraternity, he is one of the 'less flashy' people.

I mean it's nice to see guys caring about what they wear and looking nice, but sometimes I feel like I'm competing... with men?

 Is he a Phi Alpha Gamma?

LoL!

Original Post by trhawley:

Original Post by muttlover:

I live in Miami. Most guys in their late teens to thirties wear nice clothes, have many different pairs of shoes, many different 'accessories' (belt buckles, sunglasses).

My boyfriend must have... thirty different pairs of shoes/sandals, at least 10-15 different watches, at least 10 pairs of sunglasses, who knows how many belt buckles... And in his fraternity, he is one of the 'less flashy' people.

I mean it's nice to see guys caring about what they wear and looking nice, but sometimes I feel like I'm competing... with men?

 Is he a Phi Alpha Gamma?

 so tr, did you decide whether to shave your legs?

Original Post by runyourlife:

Original Post by trhawley:

Original Post by muttlover:

I live in Miami. Most guys in their late teens to thirties wear nice clothes, have many different pairs of shoes, many different 'accessories' (belt buckles, sunglasses).

My boyfriend must have... thirty different pairs of shoes/sandals, at least 10-15 different watches, at least 10 pairs of sunglasses, who knows how many belt buckles... And in his fraternity, he is one of the 'less flashy' people.

I mean it's nice to see guys caring about what they wear and looking nice, but sometimes I feel like I'm competing... with men?

 Is he a Phi Alpha Gamma?

 so tr, did you decide whether to shave your legs?

 I'm still conflicted.

Original Post by trhawley:

Original Post by muttlover:

I live in Miami. Most guys in their late teens to thirties wear nice clothes, have many different pairs of shoes, many different 'accessories' (belt buckles, sunglasses).

My boyfriend must have... thirty different pairs of shoes/sandals, at least 10-15 different watches, at least 10 pairs of sunglasses, who knows how many belt buckles... And in his fraternity, he is one of the 'less flashy' people.

I mean it's nice to see guys caring about what they wear and looking nice, but sometimes I feel like I'm competing... with men?

 Is he a Phi Alpha Gamma?

Lmao, he's a Phi Gama Delta.

Original Post by trhawley:

 I'm still conflicted.

I say "go for it".  You're already wearing spandex .

Original Post by muttlover:

My boyfriend must have... thirty different pairs of shoes/sandals, at least 10-15 different watches, at least 10 pairs of sunglasses, who knows how many belt buckles... And in his fraternity, he is one of the 'less flashy' people.

How many purses does he have? 

It's not a purse, it's a satchel. And I've gotten a lot of compliments on it.

Original Post by runyourlife:

Original Post by trhawley:

 I'm still conflicted.

I say "go for it".  You're already wearing spandex .

 

 I'm about 80% decided to do it for an upcoming event and then I can decide whether to let it grow or wait until the end of the season.

Original Post by muttlover:

Original Post by trhawley:

Original Post by muttlover:

I live in Miami. Most guys in their late teens to thirties wear nice clothes, have many different pairs of shoes, many different 'accessories' (belt buckles, sunglasses).

My boyfriend must have... thirty different pairs of shoes/sandals, at least 10-15 different watches, at least 10 pairs of sunglasses, who knows how many belt buckles... And in his fraternity, he is one of the 'less flashy' people.

I mean it's nice to see guys caring about what they wear and looking nice, but sometimes I feel like I'm competing... with men?

 Is he a Phi Alpha Gamma?

Lmao, he's a Phi Gama Delta.

 When I was in school the FIJIs wore a lot of plaid.

Original Post by kathygator:

It's not a purse, it's a satchel. And I've gotten a lot of compliments on it.

LOL! <3  The one with Joey's Man's Bag

Original Post by runyourlife:

Some background info...my husband's done triathlons for a few years. He's lessened his training due to a bad shoulder and, hence, has gained some weight - not much, but the difference IS noticeable.  Being a "good wife" (I try) I haven't mentioned it.

Anyway...we finally got some nice weather here so my husband pulls out a pair of shorts (from last year) and puts them on - they're too tight.  So he says, "These stupid shorts shrunk!"  I had to leave the room so he wouldn't see how high my eyebrows shot up my forehead. It totally reminded me of this:

http://realityme.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/ 08/mirror-image-perceptions.jpg

Why is it that we women are so hard on ourselves and men (in general) are not? In most species it's the male that does the preening, puffing, chest-pounding, etc. to impress. Why isn't it like that with us?

 

Wow runfor-It's the same in my house. We dated about 18 years ago and then refound each other. I put on about 10-15 lbs. He has put on 40-50. My BMI was never over 25-26-his is way over but of course he carries it well.

One time he said to me early on "we both have a few pounds to lose." Bastard!

Now I am well within healthy BMI and he has gained what I have lost-he goes around saying on occasion "I need to lose weight" which may happen if he realizes someday that he eats about 6000 cals a day. I don't say anything.

2 weeks ago he had a blow out with his jeans and had to stop and buy a new pair to finish the work day. That was because the "material was thin". Can you imagine how a woman would feel if that happened to them?????

(This is cause he still insists he has a 34 waist.) Unreal.

Original Post by future214:

2 weeks ago he had a blow out with his jeans and had to stop and buy a new pair to finish the work day.  That was because the "material was thin".

That is so funny! Now why would they make pants out of that material?  That's just ridiculous!

You're right - most women would be mortified.

I'm a male and I'm ridiculously hard on myself. I tend to hold myself to standards I can't even reasonably meet.

I would like to have this male ego deal going on. I can never be good enough at anything in my own eyes.

That doesn't mean I have no self-confidence, just that I'm unable to let myself be good at something when I know I could be better. So maybe more in a competitive sense than females tend to experience it.

I would attribute this phenomenon to the fact that everywhere you look -- from TV to movies to magazines and even news anchors -- almost all the women in the public eye in America are thin and beautiful.  If a woman doesn't fit the profile of feminine perfection, then she often plays a supporting or minor role. 

The message we end up getting here, whether we realize it or not, is that in our culture, a woman's worth lies in her appearance.  I guess that's one of the vestiges of earlier centuries, when a woman's main goal in life was to attract a husband (or else be a burden to society). I'm inclined to think that it's slowly changing now that women are making more of an impact in business, education, government, etc.

My hubby and I are a weird mix.  I'm the preener when it comes to clothes and outfits and hair.  When an outfit fits wrong or seems tight on me, I freak out.  He does not.  Clothes can fit him however, and he doesn't care.  But HE......man, he's more obsessed with his body than I'll ever be.  He gains a pound and he starts calling himself a fatty.  he's in great shape though.  He does crossfit and usually eats on a Zone diet.  I'm lucky to stay away from the burgers just enough to not grow out of my clothes.

I have a funny link to contribute to this thread: title: Sexist TV advertising?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9fFOelpE_8

The time we live in today is a filled with very fuzzy sexual idenity. Both men and women try to adhere to established social expectations, while also attempting to move forward in efforts to achieve equality.

 Even attempts to overcome obsolete social expectations are met with resistance by society (such as men treating “women as women”…or men “behaving like men”).

The archaic definitions of both men and women are perpetuated by both parties towards both parties… and will take a very long time to go away (in other words, not even close to happening in your lifetime).