Getting really discouraged...Advice?

Hey all,

This is my first post and I'm a bit nervous, so bear with me.

I started my diet last year in August or September, and I found it pretty easy to change my lifestyle--my big problem was portions, so I cut back. I lost about 15 lbs pretty easily and was feeling great about myself.

Then I had finals and stress took over my life. I stopped counting and indulged, even to the point of pain (which I had never done before). After finals came vacation, and suddenly I was surrounded by extremely unhealthy food. I stopped overeating and started making bad choices.

Long story short, it's been three months and I can't seem to get back into the swing of things. I lost a little weight after vacation, but now I'm stuck and I can't seem to motivate myself. I have the time to work out, but I can't make myself go. I have healthy options, but I don't pick them. I've never had this problem before and I don't know how to handle it.

Any advice to get me back on track? All help is appreciated.

Hi Emeraldkiwi,

I understand your frustration.  To be honest, I think we all have reasons for wanting to get healthy.  I often think about the fact that I seem to put my life on hold when I'm not at a comfortable weight.  I always say, "I'll do this or that when I'm thinner...".  I'm tired of behaving like this, and I'm tired of my life passing me by.  That's one of the reasons why I'm trying hard to stay on track, despite several setbacks. 

You really have to try to identify what your goals are in the first place, and to make sure that they're realistic.  I'm sure you know this already, but it helps to have someone reinforce it!  If you tell yourself that you want to lose 20 pounds in one week, you'll be setting yourself up for failure.  You said something about not feeling motivated to get to the gym;  if that's the case, start slow.  Walk for a half an hour at a moderate pace.  Do lunges while you watch t.v. and calf raises while you're on the phone.  There are small things that you can which will really make a difference.  Once you start seeing results, it'll be easier to keep going!

I hope this information is somewhat useful!  Good luck with everything!

Sometimes, you just have to make a plan and do it.  The good news, if you go one week eating healthy and exercising, making a real commitment, then it gets way easier after that.  I swear, the hardest time is those first couple days.  Plan ahead, plan your food, schedule time to get exercise, and think of it as an obligation, like a job, instead of a choice.  Don't think about how far you have to go, just take it one day at a time.  Concentrate on making healthy choices for one day, then get up tomorrow and do it again.  Before you know it, it will get easier and easier.

Find ways to deal with stress other than eating.  Take a walk, take a bubble bath, learn to meditate, anything that actually reduces stress will work.  eating doesn't actually help relieve stress, so it's easy to get in an overeating cycle as you keep doing something that doesn't really help.

I think I read somewhere that you need to do something for 3 weeks before it becomes a habit. If you can get through that initial adjustment period, you are golden!

How about setting mini behavioral goals for yourself and then rewarding yourself for them? Eat healthy for a week, get a pedicure or something else that excites you. Go to the gym 10 times, download a hot new song or two to add to your workout mix. Positive reinforcement is a more effective way to change your behavioral patterns than negative reinforcement, so don't beat yourself up if you slip. You can also set bigger goals with bigger incentives: for example, I just signed up for a program through my health insurance company that will refund me $150 bucks if I go to the gym 180 times this year - pretty sweet!

Thank you all for your responses! That is really good advice and I'm going to try it.

I really like the idea of taking everything one day at a time and setting small goals in order to get back into the swing of things. Sometimes I picture myself at my goal weight and get super intimidated by that image. It's easier to grab one of my favorite unhealthy foods than it is to think about everything beforehand and plan.

I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes!

I have realized that losing weight and motivation go hand in hand, and this is the only way to go about it. If you feel that you are not losing weight and are stuck in a rut, then it means that there is no motivation. First think about what gets you motivated...and what makes you happy. What is it that makes you tick? I sat around for many days thinking about this and listed it down. It's below:

1) Music - I wish I could have music playing around me everywhere I go. I am a jazz guitarist and believe me, being a fat guy playing a small guitar on stage is not pretty!

2) Travelling - It's one my passions in life and I cannot enjoy the full extent of it unless I'm shape. I still remember climbing up the swiss alps. It was painful :(

3) My Work - With how terrible the global economy is, I need to stay in top form. I don't want to lose any future opportunities because the guy next to me looked more attractive to the employers.

4) Health - The horrors of diabetes. I have heard people get their limbs cut off???? :(

Im sorry, I don't want to make this about myself but I wanted to share it with you. Just find out what motivates you and don't just write it down but live it. The bottom line is to study your behavior and learn about yourself before going into a weight loss program. Good luck!

Hi Emerald, Im so happy your continuing to try. I have just lost my first 30 lbs and there are lots of motivators you can try. I agree with the advice about taking a certain amount of visits, such as to a gym to make it a habit. It took me a good half month. After that, I feel this strong urge to get there at the same time. Workout during the time that is the worst for your binges. I did this and reduced dinner. Boy did I like to graze on whatever was left. Everything gets put back in the fridge right after dinner. Most hot meals dont appeal to me cold. And out of sight out of mind. Another good motivator is purchasing weight loss magazine and reading stories of people that accomplished there weight loss goals. You say you get stressed from school, Take a walk before you study, it reduces stress and helps with the concentration. Oh, I made a rule, no eating after 5:00. I can have hot or cold green tea or water. Very satisfying. Before you workout have a cup of green tea. You will be surprised how much it motivates you. Also take your favorite upbeat music. All of these helped me. And finally, please take advantage of the diary to write down your thoughts and feelings about food. Everyone here has been where you are now. Posting your concerns is a great motivator, believe it or not everyone here wants to help! Good luck!