Discouraged, and could really use some motivation...

I'm 16, 5'2 and weigh about 125 and my goal weight is 112-113 but I cant do it. I have a big bingeing/restricting problem. I restrict for a few days, get down to 118 and then binge and go back up to 125

And I see a counselor about my bingeing and he says it's some subconscious trauma but we haven't gotten to the root of it yet so the binges still exist almost daily and I sometimes purge by either throwing it up or taking tons of laxatives and I'm jsut so discouraged. I want to lose weight SO BADLY and feel comfortable with my body. I was about 105 lbs and gained to 105 from bingeing and 105 was too skinny for me, so I'm aiming for 112-113 ubut I'm just SICK TO DEATH of losing and re-gaining the same lbs over and over and watching fat just fall off me and then pile on out of nowhere, and I'm sick of my stomach always hurting from purging and I'm sick of never having any allowance because I spend it all on laxativea and other OTC drugs.

I just feel so bad about my body and how much I let myself go and I almost feel stupid because I really CAN'T be trusted with more than 2 dollars at a time because if I have 5 or more, I just spend it on drugs or stuff I shouldnt be buying.

I want to not HAVE to use laxatives, I want to quit bingeing and LOSE these STUPID 12-13 lbs and be able to keep them off. I'm sick of having to wear sweatpants because none of my clothes fit me.

Sorry for this being soo long. I just needed to get all that out, due to my counselor being away I don't see him for over 2 weeks. Can anyone give me tips on what to do to stop this cycle and lose these pounds? And no offence, but please don't say things like "chew gum" because I have a binge eating disorder so a piece of gum isn't strong enough to stop it.

:( :(

Nobody EVER replies to my posts it seems.......

I know it's not as easy as it sounds but If you want something badly enough you'll aim your willpower at it and eventually achieve it.  So if you want to reduce a binge how about reading a book?  Not just any random book like Nicholas Sparks or something.....Rather something like Candide by Voltaire or Purgatario by Dante Alligheri or the Decameron by Giovanni Boccacio when you read these books (From 16th century to 18th century) It actually puts you into the past as if youre in a different world.  When im sad or depressed or feeling crazy I go straight to the books, and history books it puts me into a different reality.  Just try it.

I have no experience with EDs. I wish I had some advice to offer.

I think that you are much more critical of your body than ANYONE ELSE is. I think that you are being WAY too hard on yourself.

You seem like a sensitive soul and I'm worried that you are taking things too hard.

You have to decide what you want. Decide how you want to be. Decide you are going to do it then go about making it happen. Don't hope you will or wish you were. . .make a decision. . .make a stand. Like thebledx3 said. It's not as easy as it sounds, I know that. But ultimately that's what makes people change whether they realize it or not. Decide it and don't wonder if you can do it. Decide you're going to do it period.

I wish you luck!

As for getting responses to your threads. . .you only gave it an hour! People don't want to just rush to say anything and we are all on at different times. Give us more room. Everyone here cares so we want to take our time to make sure we give good advice not just say anything so that you have a response. 

I have a feeling that you won't like what I've said and I'm sorry for that. Not liking what I have to say doesn't mean the advice is worthless. Good luck to you. I hope you find the answers you need.

First off, Love yourself.  And by that I mean the whole 128lbs or whatever.   Think about it this way,  when you look at someone you love or admire do you really look to see if they are 10 lbs over weight?  I know that I don't.  I love them for who they really are.  Years from now, it won't have mattered how much you weighed.  It will only matter on the difference you have made in this world.  Do you help other people?  Do you go out of the way to help the elderly or maybe a child who doesn't have an older sibling to look up to?  Be someone that you would admire, and you will love yourself.  Decide upon and give yourself a set of rules to live by and then stick to them.  Never sell yourself out short to anyone.  This is your integrity, it is what you create.  Once you have built that, people will recognize it and will sense not to mess with you.

The bingeing is because you restricted yourself too much.  Stop being so strict.  At 16 your metabolism should be just beautiful.  If you truly got one good hour of excercize a day you should be able to eat about anything within reason.  I don't mean high tail it to DQ every day, or skarf down a bag of chips, but within reason.

Are you in track or volleyball?  Even taking singing lessons or rollerblading.  These are things that you can use to build upon WHO you are.  They will keep your mind off of the restrictions that you give yourself for punishment and help you to grow emotionally.

Life is not about 10 extra pounds.  Taking laxatives  and vomiting is dangerous and bad for your body.  I am sure you would be much more embarrassed hauling a colostomy bag around with you than a few extra pounds.  Has your counselor said anything about that?

One of the reasons you are going through all this is because you just want to please other people.  Now is the time to decide what kind of person you want to be to please yourself.  By this I am NOT referring to your weight.  I am talking about if you want to be happy, smart, able to go out in this world and do for yourself.  Think about college, highschool is short and is filled with clicks of self centered nobodys. Please yourself.

I hope this helps hon!

 

 

I am quite similar to you in many ways.  I am in my late teens, 5'2'', and my wieght also floats around 111-120.  I also sometimes struggle with the binging and purging, which sucks alot and makes me tired.

I find that its ok to binge around breakfast, but then restrain for the rest of the day.  It gives you a good amount of energy, that is also burned off throughout the day.

       &nb sp;  but to go about binging during breakfast, you must stay away from unhealthy foods (egg yolks, syrup, whole milks... you know).  So what I find filling and desirable to eat is:    oatmeal, with sugar free syrup and cinnamon.  and if that does not satisfy me, I eat an apple or low fat yogurt.

       &nb sp;           sometimes I even sneak in a bite of chocolate or a marshmallow : )

Then by lunch, I've gotten my binging rage over with and just have a light lunch and dinner.  Planning your meals helps too.

good luck! hope this helps

o, sorry, forgot to mention a couple of things.

you most likely have heard this before, but using laxatives does nothing but dehydrate your body- that is why you are supposed to drink lots of water with it.  It just gets rid of water wieght, which is not good and produces negative results.

and... when I get tempted to cheat and binge, I find something low calorie to drink.  diet sodas, crystal lights.  They taste good and keep my hands and mouth busy.  in fact, at the moment I am full, but still am craving more, so I am going to get my coke zero.

feel free to ask me anything else.