How Do We Dispell the "Pink Dumbell Theory"?

I sometimes get so frustrated when I go work out and hear the woman still touting the "small weight multiple reps" philosophy of weight training.  How do we "average Joanne's" who don't have "PT" behind our names tell these women NO!!  DON'T GO THERE!!!  Use those heavy weights - Use those Free Weights  USe those muscles!!!  YOu aren't going to be big and bulky and look like a weight lifter. 

I so want to say something but the one time I did comment to someone that her lifting 2lb weights at super fast reps wasn't really effective since alot of the movement was momentum but she was so closed to any suggestions and basically said because her boyfriend did weights I didn't know what I was talking about and she didn't want to get all buffed -- I walked away and just said ok

edit: I made this comment to this woman after a cardio mix class ( similar to "Cardio Blast" on Fittv) and she wasn't doing what the instructor was telling us to do - first doing slow counts and concentrated work and she was just swinging those darn 2 lbs weights around like flailing there was no "work" on the muscles it was all a waste of her time - and since she was standing in my line of sight from the instructor I just had to say something.

I am not saying I go around preaching to these women I let them do their thing I just wish more women would not fear the heavier weights.

So how do you if you do try to suggest to someone to toss those pink db's in the trash and go for the real weights??

The only tried & true way, I've found, is to prove it to them using yourself. That's the only way any of my friends have listened! The "Pink Dumbbell Theory" is SOOOOO annoying!

this isn't the response you're looking for.  i often want to tell women the same thing:  lift heavy weights.  i started lifting "for real" around october of last year.  i'm thrilled by how much stronger i am.

but i am a lot more muscular than most women want to be.  i am rather a case in point that women can get rather bulky.  one woman at the gym mentioned how i've put on a lot of muscle, and she mentioned "american gladiator" in her discussion w/me, saying that i've been working really hard.  most women at the gym don't want to look like the next american gladiator.  so i don't say anything to the people doing lightweight routines; most of them look more like kelly ripa than i ever will.

muscles are good for you (your bones and stability and confidence and metabolism), but they're aesthetically not in demand.

I don't say anything to people at the gym as much as I'd like to grab the 5lb dumbbell out of their hand and throw it across the room. I was watching two grown men take turns doing 10lb pull downs on the cable thingy yesterday. My cat can do 10lb pull downs.

Not that anyone cares about the spirochete life story, but one of the reasons I stopped posting here a few months back is because I couldn't stand all the fact that very few people were embracing weights and I sounded like a total lunatic. I come back to find there are far more women taking weights seriously. What a great surprise!

caloriecountingme: I would strut around with ultra buff man muscles if my body would let me. Muscles are very cool

Most of the girls I see doing the high-rep low-weight thing probably don't care what advice us ironettes (hah, new word!) have to tell them.  I think that they're going for the skinny look and are just doing enough so that they aren't jiggly or something (they're usually chatting the whole time they work out anyway and don't seem that focused anyway).  I've been really going after the weights and focusing on my diet and protein intake and, like caloriecountingme, I am bulking up - I saw the shadow of a vein in my bicep today while doing zottman curls, and the six-pack is coming in nicely.  To me this is awesome and I like strutting around, but I don't think that the pink-dumbell girls care about what I might have to tell them about the benefits of gettin' some strength.  I'm impressed that you could actually go up to someone and offer that.  I just figure that I can be a good example and, if they're ever really interested, they'll start looking around for more information (who knows, maybe they'll ask me?). 

Spirochete: you have an impressive cat.  And please offer us advice...I've always read what you have to say with interest and, when I decided to start getting serious about weights, found you very inspirational as well. 

I've gotten a ton stronger since I've been doing real weights, but I don't look it. I still have the girl body and I definitely still have my ass (which honestly, I'd rather lose). The only way any of my guy friends believe I'm "doing anything" at the gym is if I show them, and it's even harder with the girls!

And yeeha - I definitely like the word "ironette"!! =)

yeeha doesn't sound like you need any advice from me. I'm honored you found me of inspiration. It's not everyday someone tells you that!

I like ironette as well

How do you convince anyone who doesn't seek your advice to change their behavior?  And what motivates you to want to do so?  Do you want a stranger to approach you in the gym and tell you that your workout is all wrong?  I agree with the suggestion about, leading by example and when asked educate, don't degradate.

Original Post by trhawley:

How do you convince anyone who doesn't seek your advice to change their behavior? And what motivates you to want to do so? Do you want a stranger to approach you in the gym and tell you that your workout is all wrong? I agree with the suggestion about, leading by example and when asked educate, don't degradate.

 I don't think you can change someone's mind, especially when they don't want your advice.

I absolutely DO NOT want people approaching me in the gym. I would be FURIOUS, which is why I don't do it to others as much as I really really want to. 

I had a man run next to me today and tell me how I was going about my walking/running was all wrong.  He was very polite about it.  And he made suggestions about what I should do, and I followed them.  He made sense, and I'm always open to helpful suggestions.  Some people aren't, heck, a lot of people aren't.

Heck, I wouldnt care if someone came up to me and showed me how I could improve my workout/technique or what not.  I'm a proponent of the more you know, the better off you are.

And if the advice is wrong/bad, so what, just forget it. 

Original Post by trhawley:

How do you convince anyone who doesn't seek your advice to change their behavior?  And what motivates you to want to do so?  Do you want a stranger to approach you in the gym and tell you that your workout is all wrong?  I agree with the suggestion about, leading by example and when asked educate, don't degradate.

Thank you for saying what I've been thinking.  I was pondering over this thread during my work-out today and trying to figure out to how respond.  This is exactly the reason why I would be unlikely to join a gym even if I had the money.  I am incredibly self-conscious about my boy-like appearance and my awkward coordination.  The few times I have gone to a gym I've had to work up the nerve and tell myself no one is watching me, everyone is focused on themselves.  Now it seems I was right to be self-conscious. People are judging others in the gym.   

My MIL is a fitness buff, lifts the "real" weights, and I try to learn as much as I can from her.  But she scoffed at my mom for joining Curves instead of a "real gym."  Why be so judgmental?   She's taking a step in the right direction, not sitting on the couch becoming a potential TBL contestant.  We all have to start somewhere.

I have never been overweight, not even during my pregnancies.  But I recognized the need to be more fit.  I wanted to be healthier, have more energy and feel better mentally.  I've been working out fairly consistently for a year this month.  And I just in the last two months upped my weights to 12 pound dumbbells for my bicep curls.  I was pretty darned proud of myself considering this time last year I was sweating 8 pound weights and couldn't even finish my sets.  So why should I be ashamed of my pink dumbbells?  Am I as strong as I could be?  No not yet.  But am I stronger than I was?  Most definitely.  And that's what it's all about.

So instead of having the urge to throw my dumbbells across the room, give people the respect they deserve for getting out there and doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING, to move their bodies.   

First I have to make a clarification on my comment to that person about the way she was moving the 2lb weights- it was after a class that was a mixtre of cardio and weights and the instructor has us do the weights slowly and controlled - you know 2 count up 2 count down and then some singles and some controlled again so my comment to her was mostly selfish on my part because she was standing between me and the instructor and so when I was trying to watch the instructors movements and keep with her this woman was in the way and confusing me LOL -- but I also could see she was just "swinging" the weights around and not really working the muscles so that is why I suggested she slow down - I didn't tell her to up the weights although I wanted to believe me.  I have been doing this class for awhile now and I just thought this woman might want to do weights the way the instructor was having all the class do them?  Oh well live and learn and I haven't told any one else since that their "pink dumbell" workouts are wasting their time - I just do my thing and if they ask for help I help.

I just want to stop someone when they start talking low weight high reps to others and want to know how we get the word out to women everywhere that the big weights are ok too!

And mom2zs don't be self consious no one is really watching I was only watching this person cause she was in front of me in a class.  I too am very awkward and can't do some of the steps in this cardio class even though I've been doing it for ages it seems I just do low impact or slower than most of the others.   I also have learned to be in the front row so I don't have to be distracted by the others

I think it is wonderful that people are out there trying to improve themselves.  I know it was hard for me to get up the nerve to start weight training classes heck it was hard for me to start walking around the block 4 years ago.  do what you can!! 

Just don't be affraid of those heavier weights if you are a women is all I really want to say to the world!!!

mom2zs, I thought about what you posted all through my workout today, and I do agree that it's inappropriate to "judge" anyone who's doing anything to improve themselves health-wise.  I would hate to think that something I said made you or anyone feel uncomfortable about going to the gym.  I think what some of the posters here are talking about is an attitude rather than a practice.  If a person is capable of doing the "pink dumbells", as we're calling them, and they're happy doing them, or if that is what they're able to do at the moment, then good for them - everyone has to start somewhere (and this might even be an endpoint, depending on what a person wants).  However, in order to continue improving in health and not stagnate, I believe that it's important to keep challenging oneself, either through an increase in weight, a new exercise, longer intervals on a cardio machine or whatever, depending on one's goals.  So, when I see a person lifting a small weight effortlessly in one hand while talking on the cell phone with the other, granted, that's completely their business, but I guess I feel that they could be doing more for their own benefit.  Of course, that's my problem, not theirs, and if they're satisfied, that's fine. 
It's easy to get into a personal routine and develop a particular mindset (very determined and focused on a certain kind of goal) and wonder why not everyone else is on the same track, but this is a rather narcissistic, and it's good to have that checked sometime.  
Good job on the 12 pounders btw :)

Original Post by yeeha:

mom2zs, I thought about what you posted all through my workout today, and I do agree that it's inappropriate to "judge" anyone who's doing anything to improve themselves health-wise.  I would hate to think that something I said made you or anyone feel uncomfortable about going to the gym.  I think what some of the posters here are talking about is an attitude rather than a practice.  .  So, when I see a person lifting a small weight effortlessly in one hand while talking on the cell phone with the other, granted, that's completely their business, but I guess I feel that they could be doing more for their own benefit.  Of course, that's my problem, not theirs, and if they're satisfied, that's fine. 
It's easy to get into a personal routine and develop a particular mindset (very determined and focused on a certain kind of goal) and wonder why not everyone else is on the same track, but this is a rather narcissistic, and it's good to have that checked sometime.  
Good job on the 12 pounders btw :)

Ya -- what she said !!!!!

I can definitely see where you all are coming from, no one should be told they shouldn't try weights, I think they're great.  And I hope to work my way up to heavier ones as time goes on.  As for those who lift with one arm and talk on the phone with the other, OK well, I can't take up for them! :-)  Obviously I'm a bit sensitized to this, the thought of slipping my chicken legs into a pair of shorts and hitting the weights for the whole gym to see..?  Sends me into a cold sweat just thinking about it!

But since I have the attention and input from some seasoned "ironettes" here, I'll pose a question I asked earlier in another thread.  I'm looking to increase my muscle mass, I'm slim but soft.  I can definitely feel my muscles working during and after my work-outs, but I'm wondering if I'm not taking in enough calories to build muscle.  According to the CC calculator I burn anywhere between 2100-2300 cal/day and my average calorie intake is usually right around 1600.  I'm not losing or gaining weight, just maintaining.  I think maybe I'm shortchanging myself and my body's hanging onto the fat.  I never thought this stuff could be so complicated.  If anyone has any input (besides throw away the pink dumbbells-LOL!!) I'd love to hear it!

Original Post by bobs9895:

Heck, I wouldnt care if someone came up to me and showed me how I could improve my workout/technique or what not.  I'm a proponent of the more you know, the better off you are.

And if the advice is wrong/bad, so what, just forget it. 

 

You really want me following you around the gym talking about your form? It sounds good in theory but actually I don't think most people would care for it. It's downright rude. Do you walk down the street saying "hey your butt looks big in those pants" because it's helpful to them to know their butt looks big?

I know this forum is a giant lovefest but approaching people during their workout unsolicited isn't good gym etiquette. Don't do it.

when i first started olympic style lifts, squatting and cleaning and whatnot, i was excited but not very knowledgeable.  while doing a snatch one day, someone asked me if i'd like some advice.  "yes, i said, i'm new to this type of lifting."  he worked w/me to see what the best way to get my body to learn to squat correctly would be.  we decided that i'd do like a few sets of regular body-weight squats every day, until my form and strength were better.  once that happened, i added weight.  today i did back squats w/165 pounds.

i appreciated his help very much.  he was nice and not at all arrogant.

mom2zs -- based on what I've read, you need to maintain a calorie SURPLUS in order to build any appreciable muscle. I can't give you an explanation for the discrepancy between cc's figure (2100-2300) and your current intake, as far as why you're 500 below and aren't losing. Could be your body's gotten used to that level of intake and you might shock your metabolism by eating more every couple of days. Could be you're underestimating what you're eating (no accusation here! Just a possibility). No way for me to know...

However, the most efficient way to build muscle (again, based on what I've read) is in a calorie surplus. You will inevitably gain some fat as well, but if the surplus is small and you train effectively, you should be able to gain more muscle than fat, and then it shouldn't take too long to diet off the fat. Say you gain 3 lbs, 2 of muscle and 1 of fat; in theory, you could lose all that fat in a week, and 2 lbs is a good bit of muscle!

So you could try eating 2-300 cals more a day, or a few days a week, and keep training hard, and see what happens.  If you see nothing, keep upping the cals, but give your body time -- maybe 2 months? -- to figure things out between adjustments. Also, I don't know how long you've been training, but it may be that you are making progress, just that it's slow and you need to have a little more patience... maybe take pictures or find some other way to measure long term progress. This progress tends to be so gradual it's hard to tell by just looking in the mirror...

Original Post by caloriecountingme:

 while doing a snatch one day, someone asked me if i'd like some advice. 

Ok, I have to admit I'd be much less hostile if someone asked me before dishing out advice

Oh -- and "hey your butt looks big in those pants" isn't exactly helpful. Yeah, that's probably the equivalent of telling someone they're doing it all wrong and throwing their dumbbell across the room.

But I think what's helpful is advice, not putdowns. Like, "hey, I noticed you arch your back on that exercise, you could really hurt yourself doing that, so you might want to keep your back flat."

I think that would be the equivalent of, in a clothes store, saying, "hey, I think these pants would look much better on you than those, because they'd fit your curves nicely."