Divorce Foods

My Divorce Foods!

I am learning that there are some foods, no matter how hard I try, I cannot limit my portions. Therefore, this is my vow to dissolution of marriage! LOL!

1. Cheese: I love you. However, you are only good for me in small portions and unfortunately I can't handle that. So, our relationship ends here my friend.
2. Sour Cream: I do not like the skinny portion of you. I like you only when you are full fat and I use you far too much and because of this we are done.
3. Popcorn: I only like you when you are completely covered in salt and butter and you are going to give me a heart attack and I love you so much it hurts. Bye!
4. Ice Cream!: You are the most terrible of my obsessions. I eat you everyday! I eat you bye the gallon. I am sure that you do not love me the way I love you. If you did you would stop making me fat. LOL! I know that I can't just have a little at a time. I want to eat you all day every day and you my friend/enemy are going to be the hardest to say good bye to. However, you being gone will make me a better person. So, farewell my fat making friends!

Some of you may think this is a little; childish? However, I truly feel this way.

What are some foods you have had to or want to divorce?

1. Pizza:  YOUR so good, but yet so very mean....you never really did anything for me or our butt!  I will be filing for butt support!
2. Cookies:  Your affair with milk is causing me to see a strink therefore I am calling it quits!
3. Friedness:  Your crunch texture and yummy goodness has always brought me back, but your abusive, I have the scars to prove it!

 OH these are fun!!!!!

After a thirty year love affair with bread-- bread and soup, bread and salad, bread and butter-- I also must move on and find someone who's better for me.  But that doesn't make it any easier.

BTW, I agree with cheese and ice cream.  It's like telling my best friends since kindergarten to shove off.  :(

I have had to divorce ALOT of foods...lol...I LOVE cheese ..I try that fat free ones but it isnt the same. Kinda of like cheating on your husband...trying to enjoy yourself but just cant quite make it there..lol.I used to love fast food. I love McDonald's french fries.No longer my friend..with high triglycerides they went first. I love PIZZA but I can substitute that with Healthy choice ones or South Beach ones so there I am lucky.

BE GONE YOU FATTY FOOD i AM TAKING CONTROL FOR LIFE. I  WANT TO LIVE A NICE LONG LIFE WITH MY CHILDRENAND HUSBAND AND I LOVE THEM WAY MORE THAN I LOVE FOOD.

Good Luck to all on your life changes because we are not dieting we are making life changes.

Lucy

I never thought of divorcing my "bad" foods...thanks! 

1. Breyer's butter almond ice-cream: I love you so much and you love me too -- that's our problem...you won't leave when I ask you to and my scale yells at me in the morning
2. Cheese: we've been together so long its seems cruel to part, but its time...you'll find someone who can tolerate you better in smaller portions
3. All deli sandwiches: Slack's Hoagie Shack is no longer on my speed dial - I had to delete them so you can't sneak onto my lunch plate...all of you taste so good and I love you, but you're making my jeans a little tight...you've gotta go!

I don't think this is childish at all...this is genius-worthy!  I've actually reached my preliminary weight goal, but if I don't leave these guys alone, I'll be right back where I started.  Thanks again, Yellowrosey777!

Mine is pizza for sure.  Thought it was done with when the divorce was finalized.  But forgot about the dang joint custody I have with pizza and bf so I still get to see it every other weekend and 3 weeks out of the summer (we switch holidays)!

Cheeze It's - We had some good times; trips to the beach, at the movies...just you and I. But now I think it's time that we go our separate ways. I'm sorry, I truly am.

French Fries - You used to be my one true love - hot, sometimes spicy, and you could make anytime a great time. However, you haven't been the same latley. You're cruel, soggy, and distasteful. I'm finally seeing the real you, and it's not working out.

Anyone else?

French Fries: crispy, soft, skinny, fat, fast food, frozen, nugget-sized, hot, and even cold(!), I love you French Fries. I love you too much. But this relationship is abusive. I've even heard you're cancerous! Restraining order: enacted!

Pizza: I'm living in Italy with you, your birthplace. You follow me every where I go. You're delicious, but I just can't see you anymore. You've got issues: gluten, fat, cheese, grease, sausage, few vegetables, and too much salt. You're weighing on me! Please leave me alone.

 

 

 

Raisins: You made me complete , you are easy to steal.. but you aren't filling . I overeat you and I end up in a sugar coma.
...... I love you but I can't keep hurting myself.



That is all .. heh .

What a fabulous idea.  Thanks yellowrosey!!

 1.        First and foremost...Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn.  You are a liar.  Your name is SMARTFOOD and you are anything but!!  You are gooey and cheesy and I love/hate  how you torture me with that cheesy goo that sticks to my fingers.  To me you are sheer exctasy....and I have polished off one too many family sized bags of you only to feel the utter guilt and shame after the pleasure.  I have filed a restraining order against you.  You must go.

2.       Pepperoni Pizza with thick crust and extra sauce.......OMG...I could never have just one ‘slice’ and your ‘skinny friends’ do you no justice.  If I cannot have the real you, I don’t want anyone else.  You must leave.  It breaks my heart.....but there’s the door.........

3.       Any type or flavour of ice cream........I feel bad for the children.  Any divorce is difficult and the children are always the ones that get hurt the most.  Unfortunately, their mother is incapable of having just 1 small bowl of you.  She always finishes the carton.  You must leave.  I am sorry....so very, very sorry......I will tell the kids you love them.

Wow, I feel a sense of closure.......

It’s like a ‘declaration of determination’........thank you again yellowrosie!

Cookies- There's such warmth within you, and your softness inside makes me want to savor you forever. However, this relationship needs to end; you temporarily sate my needs, but I can never stop. Plus my mom likes you more than I do.

I should have known multiple marriages would get complicated. 

1. CEREAL - so innocent and fun, you charmed me.  But we never did stop at one bowl, did we?  Yes, it was high with you, my blood sugars shooting up but how you always left me dropping fatigued and craving more.  Shameless and Ive torn myself away from you.  I hope you get stale.

2. McNUGGETS - Others imitated you but you were the one.  I was always suspicious - was it something special in your coating?  I never asked, I didnt want to know.  Oh how convenient you were, waiting for me at the drive up window - face it you were easy. I knew I wasnt the only one but with that lack of self respect, you'll no longer get mine.

3. BRAUMS FUDGE SUNDAE - What a contradiction you were.  Cold chocolate ice cream, hot fudge syrup.  You could never make up your mind yet I embraced both parts of you.  And your chocolate almond ice cream - I always knew you were nuts.

4. GARLIC BREAD - Bread, butter, garlic - what a simpleton you were but I wasnt after you for your brains.  Your affair with my tastebuds had me neglecting my stomach, butt and hips.  I blame myself but Ive come to my sense and youre history.

5. PANDA EXPRESS LO MEIN - Should of known what I was in for with your chubby mascot for all to see.  I didnt care.  I was in for the carbs and you knew nothing more.  Did you think that was the basis of a relationship?  We had fun but Ive got a life.

... you'll all be getting the papers from my lawyers.

Keep it going! These are hilarious...

but so true...

HAHAHA this is hilarious guys.

COOKIE DOUGH: you are a terrible friend. You tempt me, seduce me, and then make me eat all of you. Uncooked or cooked it doesn't matter, I enjoy you way too often. It is unhealthy emotionally...and physically...I am sorry, but I have to say goodbye.

FRENCH FRIES: first of all, I love your salty-ness. I want to eat you most of the time, most days..You are also considerably cheap and can be found at most places. Stop being so darn convient. I want us to end. forever.

MACCARONI AND CHEESE: The worst of all my loves, you are full of fat and goodness. I pile you high with butter and enjoy large quantities of you. Since I cannot aviod your temptings, I will now divorce you Mac and Cheese. You and your cheesy goodness can now leave me alone.

LOL! that was fun

French Fries are so hard!

Hi!  I am new here!  : )

 Peanut butter and I are trying a separation period.  Maybe someday it will work out!!

hot-cheetos. :(

I am going to print this out and put it on my refridgerator.

i am having a co-dependant relationship with cheese,ice cream, bread and pizza...but i'm still losing alot of weight so right now i am holding off on filing divorce.

 

i dumped mt.dew even though i miss him...i left burger, and fried foods...and most of the time i couldn't care less...but it's hard!

 

i went back to cookie dough for a day and he made me feel horrible so i can make it without making you my fat friend!

Dammit!  Ice cream and I had a very brief 'fling' on Sunday...It was my daughters 9th birthday party.....she missed him, asked for him by name.  How could I not invite him?  

I finished him off by myself later after my daughter went to bed.....I feel so dirty.