My doctor creeps me out, and I'd rather see if you guys could answer my Q's..

Hello, I'm a newb at gaining weight. It seems ridiculous in my head considered I've battled SO hard to take it off since like, the dawn of time... But, nonetheless I need to gain. My doctor told me 15 pounds ago I needed to gain a couple and stay there. But, accidents happen, life happened and I lost more. She scares me. She reminds me of a witch..and she has no emotion- except dissapointment/annoyance. She told me she would "send me to a psychiatrist and a dietitian" if I lost anymore. I'm not anorexic, I almost was a couple years ago but I'm not in that "mental state" ya know what I mean? I just love eating healthy way too much.

Long story short, here are my symptoms: I haven't had a period since (the last time I truely remember) November of '07. I randomly had one spot last August, but it didn't do anything after that. My body temp seems to be regularly 95 ish and I'm -always- cold. I mean unaturally cold. If it's not 77 in my house I'm usually freezing. And...it's mid August and I'm under a heating blanket everyday. I do bruise easy and hurt easy. I get way more aches than the average 19 yr old I think.

I already found out I'd have to gain weight to get a period again...but will it really start? And when? Do I need to gain all fat, or can I just work out and gain muscle again? (I had to stop because of a lack of time)

Could anyone reccomend a diet article for this? Have any of you guys had this?

Thank you so much! Anyone with any medical background or knowledge would be great.

If your goal is to be healthy ("I'm not anorexic... I just love eating healthy way too much") then think about this: is getting unnaturally cold, bruising, not having your period, etc. healthy? No. If you want to get healthy you need to eat more, and eat fats. (Btw, dietary fats aren't going to make you fat any more than protein or carbs will. They're just calories.) Fats are sooo important for your hair, skin, nails, and the only way you can get your period back!!! Even if you somehow managed to gain back enough weight but you didn't gain any body fat, you wouldn't get your period, and you wouldn't be healthy. So "healthful" fats include avocado, nuts, olive and canola oils and nut butters, etc, (I'm sure you've heard all that) but also dairy fats like cheese, whole milk and yogurt, cottage cheese, and butter. Most people don't realize that. You NEED saturated fats to work properly, especially for your brain. Your brain is made of saturated fats. But of course you need protein and carbs, too. No one source of calories is better or worse than another, you need them all to get better.

I wish you luck! I'm in the gaining process, too. So far I still don't have my period back but I don't get cold any easier than the next person (I had to have the AC on 82+ to not freeze, and to my 75 degree school I wore an undershirt, two thick shirts, three cashmere sweaters, and a long black coat.), I don't bruise easily, and I have wonderful hair, nails, and skin like before. So keep faith!

Btw, get a new doctor. Seriously, it is so important that you have a doctor! So find one that you're more comfortable with.

welcome maiden , id definitely consider seeing another doctor, its vital that its someone you can talk to trust and feel comfortable with. i had the same issue so i changed im alot happier now . try not to worry to much about gaining fat as you call it. the fact is you need to gain , of course some of it will go on as fat this is vital, but it also goes inside you to , to get everything working , repair etc . as for your periods you need to be patient but if you make sure you are eating enough of all the different food groups it should happen. i havnt had one for 10 years and my doctor is still hopefull goodluck h x

blueberry you give such sound advice

I became underweight when I started college.  I had always wanted to be thinner and found that being on my own I was able to change what and when I ate.  I became vegetarian and also stopped eating dairy products (which frequently upset my stomach).  I lost about 15 pounds, lost my period and my family started to worry about me.  I knew I wasn't healthy.  I was having a hard time sleeping at night and was getting bumps on the back of my arms, which I think is some sort of vitamin deficiency.  Also, when I look back at pictures, my complexion was not very good either.  I was lucky to meet a very supportive guy in college that helped me get back to normalcy.  He helped me feel good in my own skin.  I slowly started incorporating more proteins into my diet and eventually some lowfat dairies (skim milk, yogurt, etc.).  I gained about 10 pounds back, but I worked out a lot and kept my body fat about the same.  I also got my period back.  So, I looked and felt healthier and focused more on working out than not eating.  I also run competitively, which helps shift the focus from being skinny to being healthy.  It helps to have good, supportive friends you can talk to that won't judge.  I remember people telling me I was anorexic and I would think "you're just jealous" or "shut up, what makes you so smart!".  Now, i have good friends and a great husband who loves me regardless.

you mightnt like your doctor but you arent exactly a model patient either. if she told you 15lbs ago to stop losing and start gaining - then you completely went against medical advice. its not exactly surprising she's fed up with you. you seem to be gettn a bit of a buzz out of it to be honest.

all the symptoms you are experiencing are due to undereating. you also sound like an eating disorder sufferer in denial. i dont know what you eat calorifically but if you want to gain weight then you need to eat 2500 plus

How about... getting a new doctor?  If there really is nothing questionable about your eating habits, that could solve your problems completely.

kdfaith411 - I would be interested to hear how you balanced working out with putting on weight. Did you do cardio or strength training or both and how much? Were you on a meal plan while in recovery? If so - what did that look like in order to balance your exercise with eating in order to still gain weight?

I would be interested to understand how you were able to shift your mindset in relation to running as well? I used to really enjoy running but it has become more of a chore through developing my eating disorder and i want to be able to move back to the enjoyment factor without feeling the pressure.

Thanks guys, I appreciate it. It told me on here to maintain my weight I'd need around 1200 calories. So, I'm guessing to gain I'll go beyond that slowly andsee how much it takes.

I'm trying to lift weights in the morning. What kind of cardio should I do, just anything? It's so hard to find the right time when college starts though. I wish I still had my gym membership...:(

Blueberry, thank you that was pretty helpful actually. Somehow I can never convince myself to eat an avacado, but maybe, just maybe. I've been getting a pretty good amount of fats now. Fatty stuff doesn't sit well in my stomach sometimes, but I'm trying. I'm hoping that helps. Actually, my carbs and protiens are pretty balanced too. But, I really wish my carbs were lower. Sorry, it's just a pet peev. I still have vowed never to eat bread, sugar, or fast food just because it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I feel so bad with bread in my stomach and I have no idea why. It makes me feel slow and bogged down, if that makes any sense..? But I am getting whole grains everyday from healthy cereal.

It's pretty hard to make myself hungry considering how little it takes to satisfy my hunger. If I up my exercise, that will increase my appetite and metabolism, correct?

I had higher calories than normal and noticed I wasn't as cold. I'm wondering if that was just in my head haha.

kdfaith411, how long did it take after you gained weight for your period to return? AT first I have to admit..I was happy it stopped. lol I know, that's wrong, but I was thinking "well, this is a nice break....and I can wear my white pants anytime :)". (no, I'm not an idiot, I just see humor in everything sometimes)

fidget, yes..I didn't mean to but I went against her judgement. I went on a trip and accidently lost weight. Then one of my best friends and his sister died this July, and I lost even more weight. Depression and worry has that effect on me. She would still probably hold that against me though. (my doctor) But, yea I still see humor in thinking my doctor looks like a witch....I guess you'd have to see her.

Thanks all. Keep the advice coming people, I'm an open ear to any thoughts from you all.

hey maiden, i just want you to know that i am NOT saying this to be accusative or negative, please believe me! i am just genuinely worried about you.

most anorexics didn't just decide one day to become anorexic. rarely does it happen that way. for me it started with the desire to become healthy, not even to lose weight. after visiting my grandmother for a week who has terrible health problems and eats only packaged and processed goods from walmart, i decided that i wanted to limit the amount of unhealthy foods i ate. slowly i started eating less of them, then cutting them out of my house altogether, then not eating them in public, either. they became foreign and scary to me, and the list of "safe" foods as well as the actual amount of food i ate grew smaller and smaller. i was totally in denial for a long time, telling my parents that i only wanted to be healthier, and that i wasn't hungry, which i honestly wasn't. i wasn't trying to lose weight, in fact i really thought i wanted to maintain or even gain a few pounds, but i just kept losing everytime i went to the doctor.

my point is that everything you're saying sounds like an anorexic in denial. i said those exact same things, especially the part about your stomach being upset (i believe you, you're not making it up) and about not being able to convince yourself to eat avocado. also wanting your carbs to be lower (btw, cereal is not enough). you NEED to eat 50-60% carbs. you NEED to. it will not make you fat or unhealthy. so i just beg you to be careful, and to really be on guard for an ED. i think it's there and you don't realize it, but if you're on guard it will be harder for it to get in. maintain control of your mind while you still have it, because ED will take it from you if you're not careful.

for the same reason, i urge you not to exercise just yet. if you love exercise, ED can take that love and turn it into something terrible. if you don't love exercise, it certainly shouldn't be something you start now, given that you are underweight. i promise that it will become a negative obsession given what you have already said so far. ED is tempting you, telling you that it will make you hungrier, which is good.

please be careful, i really care about you and don't want you to have to suffer through everything i and so many other people have.

*hugs*

bluebell that was sound advice hugs xxxxxxx

Wow blueberry...I mean, I've been called "anorexic" and stuff before by my family, but I didn't really pay attention. I assured them I wasn't. I mean, I'm really not trying to lose weight. But I guess I just now realized I still was eating 900 calories a day or less and that's just not what healthy people do. But I didn't have that mindset anymore ya know? I was -trying-. I just felt like I was being healthy now. Because before I knew I had a bit of a problem, but I snapped out of it..I thought. Hm...well, I think I am way better than before.

Thank you so much for your honesty! I appreciate it. Thinking about it, and realizing you guys said that too...it makes me see that step towards a problem. So...should I ignore my "first thoughts" for a while? I still want to count calories and stuff, but I see it as a way to see if I'm getting enough and if I need to add more, not to add less. Is that good or bad?

As far as the exercise, I do kinda miss it. To be honest, when I went to the gym before I went everyday for an hour and that was sort of an issue too maybe... But I do miss the nice "post-work out feeling" ya know? But, I won't do much I don't think. Just some weights a few days a week. Lunges and leg lifts blah blah blah, maybe some dancing. Does that sound good?

Thank you again, you've been a huge help. I -will- be careful I promise. I'm trying to override my thoughts a little. But something in me still hates that I have to gain at least 10 pounds. I'm trying to get that outta my head though, because I'm doing this for good reasons: as annoying as it is, I want my period back. Then my hormones will go back to normal and regulate my body temp. I will make my bones less visible. My mom and my best friend are really worried. And...I won't hurt myself when I run into things as much :) lol..

*hugs*

When I was in the height of my eating issues, I was doing the stairstepper everyday for ~45 minutes per day and doing 100 situps after that.  I would feel intense guilt if I worked out less than 5 times per week and often I aimed for 6 times per week. 

I think the turning point for me was having a nightmare where I was eating french fries.  I thought I was insane!  A nightmare for me was eating fried foods!  Also, the health issues were nagging at me (no period, etc).

I am NOT saying that gaining weight was easy.  It was a psychologically painful experience.  I had a lot of good support from my friends and family to help me work through it.

Running worked great for me for many reasons.  First, it shifts the focus of life from losing weight to being healthy.  Also, many female athletes that compete in city races (for fun or competitively) are good companions and are typically more in it for the fun/exercise than for losing weight.  When I ran I was training for speed so i did intervals and distance together.  I followed training plans specific to the type of race I was running (5K, Half marathon).  I started thinking of food as fuel and if you don't fuel your body you will not preform as well.  I ate when I was hungry and didn't focus as much on the number of calories (though people with this problem can quote the number of calories in every food on earth... sick, isn't it??).

As for my period, it took a year or so after gaining weight for it to come back.  After that, I used the pill for 3-4 years, so it was forced to be regular.

Do you see how serious this is or can be? Your doctor told you 15 pounds ago to gain a few pounds yet you lost 15 and now you are planning to gain only 10? Also you stated that it was by accident you lost weight. I think you need to be accountable and see that you made a choice not to take care. I know it is hard but part of recovery so that you don't keep making excuses. To me it sounds like your doctor is telling you something you don't want to hear but need to. If the next doctor says the same thing will you want to leave that one as well?Take it from someone who has seen many and also played her own doctor it does not work for your health.Do you think you could get into outpatient treatment? Not having your period is only one issue that could be going on. I used to and still sometimes do live in the well I am better then before but better is not enough. It can still kill or damage your health. I hope I was not too harsh and I hope you take care

Thank you kdfaith. By the way..yes it IS sick/weird/funny! (I know every calorie count know to man as well..it's like being a walking dictionary isn't it?)

Abbi,  I do understand. I mean, I didn't get the seriousness of it until this summer when I did some reading. My bones could be getting brittle. If I went further my hair might fall out. My organs will shrink. I could screw up my heart tissue. So, I'm definitely adament to not let my weight slip. Hell, my tail bone used to stick out and I HATED it. Ya know? If I fall off something..I'm breaking something. I used to admire the fact that my body fat was 13% and my BMI was 19, but as of my most recent weight it was 18. And that's not cool. I realize now it wasn't before. I do need -some- fat, unlike the models on tv seem to assure that I don't.  Thank you for your "harshness". It wasn't harsh, it was straight. I like that.

1200 is NOT what CC recommends to maintain.  I just recently ran stats for a 25 year old woman who is 4'10" and 115 lbs, hers came out between 1300-1400 without exercise.

If you're under 20, you need more calories, roughly 300 per day, for internal body development.  Check kidsnutrition.org for a calorie calculator.  Even so, since you've been undereating these calorie counts do not apply to you.  You need more, you've been starving your body perhaps unintentionally but the end result is still the same.  You're underweight and ill.

Please get yourself another doctor immediately, the damage you could be doing to your body doesn't have to be permanent but you need treatment now, not when you perceive yourself as being worse.