Doeas your husband/boyfriend encourage you?

I'm just wondering if I'm alone.

When I first started eating right and going to the gym, my husband was really encouraging to me. Now i'm 2 months into it and he's started making the "you spend too much time at the gym" type comments. I got to the gym at night, my child is in bed, and my husband is doing his homework. I spend about 40 minutes on cardio nights (that includes driving too and from home) 4 times a week. Then 3 times a week I spend 1 hour to 1 hour 15 minutes. In that time i've lost 10+ pounds and dropped a pant size! YOu might think that he would be happy to be getting his Hot wife back!! Sure there are times when he definitely likes my new body. I just don't understand it sometimes. I love exercise! He hates it! I wish I understood him.

NO! He does not. My exercise does not involve the gym, but rather hiking through the desert and bike riding and I am learning to use resistance bands.

He doesn't resent the time, but does not offer encouragement, unless you consider, "time for your walk" to be encouragement.  He laughs at my efforts!  While he says it's "playing", it is none the less painful to hear comments such as:

let me know when you are ready to go a few rounds with me

I don't see the need for new clothes yet

I was going to order  pizza, but you can't eat---and similar things.

Truthfully, he will most likely be the last person to see it, because he sees me everyday.  Too bad, he can't see that I am now walking around all day pulling my pants up while he is unbuttoning his!!!

My husband totally supports me, encourages me, and give me tough love! If he sees me eating something he knows isn't part of a "good diet" he asks me "is that part of your diet?". But I don't go anywhere to work out, I'm simply dieting. But even if I did he wouldn't notice because he works a lot and we have 4 kids so we just have a busy lifestyle anyway. But I honestly believe when he says that he thought I was hot 50 pounds ago, and wouldn't care if I didn't loose another pound. He just knows how important it is so me so he gives me little nudges.

totally and completely...but he thinks I am hot now...dear lord, what will he be like when I think I am hot! 

My husband does encourage me and doesn't mind the time I spend working out (it's usually when he's not home anyway) but I usually get the "you look good at any weight" comment lol

http://caloriecount.about.com/forums/post/895 08.html

This is the "Wives Improving our Lives" club at the Motivation forum.  My husband is very encouraging but I'm still "on my own" with the working out, eating better and holding myself accountable. 

My husband is convinced that his weight gain is a)not noticeable and b) not due to eating more but eating less often.  He thinks "starvation mode" can take effect after a few hours and if you go 6 hours between meals, that you will immediately gain weight. 

He is not interested in "taking walks".  He does appreciate fresh food that is good for you. 

Great post...

Yes, my BF supports me and keeps me on track.

He is the one who saved me from turning back to my ED freshman year of college. (He actually told me after we started going out the beginning of sophomore year, that he had fallen in love with me the first time he saw me in orientation before freshman year but he wanted me to get better on my own and be a strong person first - he did not want me to use a relationship as an excuse to not get better. That is the best decision he could have made.)

4.5 years later we are still together and he has loved me when I was a chubby 160lbs and he still loves me just the same at 132lbs. (But he sure as heck likes the new skinnier me! And sometimes, he just can't keep his hands off. )

At college we would try to go to the gym together and keep each other motivated. Since graduating, I don't have his near-by support and that is difficult. We try to plan exercising nights "together" where he will go to the gym at his apartment (he is currently living by Delaware for grad school) and I will work out at home. We talk every night and tell each other about our days, our workouts and our goals and how far we are coming.

We also calorie count together (and his guy friends and family make fun of him for this, in front of me too) but he is doing it because he wants me to succeed and he wants us to begin a healthy life together. If I get a salad, he will too. If I want some crap food like a cheesesteak or fries, we split it.

My current situation is different though because we are not living together.... so I don't have much else to do with my time. Though, I will say, when I am with my BF I hate to spend that time exercising since we don't see each other that often.

Maybe trying to get your husband involved with your exercising would make him feel more included and supportive? And maybe he wants to spend more "you and him time" together, so by doing that, it would benefit both of you!

 

I had lost most of the weight before starting to date my boyfriend.  He knows that I am a little obsessive about what I eat, and exercising.  He also is very well aware that I am both intelligent and headstrong, so it would be foolish for him to attempt to get involved in my decisions, in that regard, lol.

No, you're not alone.  Mine is getting better but mind you, I've been at this for  a year and a half now.  You'd think he would've gotten on board sooner, nope.  I'll take what I can get though.  Lol

He's better at supporting my exercising than the food part but he makes fun of me with either. 

I ran/walked to my brother's house this past weekend.  (I'm learning to run)  Dh was there tinkering w/my bros car.  He tells me if you wait a few minutes I'll drive you home.  My brother even caught that one..."dude, you're not making it easier for her!".  When I'm doing my treadmill, he'll laugh when I switch back and forth from running and walking.  He teases that I can't lift 90 pounds on the weight bench.   He laughs that I do some of my weights on the exercise ball.  He teases that I do crunches instead of military style sit-ups.  These are just to name a few.

With the food, we still buy many seperate foods.  My weakness is chips...there is constantly a bag of chips in the house..family size bags!!!  Hmm, let's see, 2 breads, 2 kinds of cheese, 2 kinds of eggs (eggbeaters and regular), 2 jellies, 2 mayos, ugh, I can go on.  He'll put stuff in my face and wave it back and forth saying "you know you want some".  Then, he's the first to say something when I do indulge. 

He decided he wanted to quit smoking recently and has been trying.  He came home one day and said how hard it is at work because they all smoke.  He went on to tell me I wouldn't understand how hard that makes it for him.  Hmph!  Did I mention I used to smoke and when I quit he still smoked???  Nope.  I did the obligatory..."Aw hon...you're doing great!"

my boyfriend encourages me, but sometimes comments that are meant for encouragement can be hurtful. anyways, he also thinks that counting all my calories is stupid and according to him "exercise is the only way anyone will lose weight, and calories shouldnt matter" yeah right. its important, but so is calorie counting!

While my husband is supportive and will keep me in check when I try to stuff something fatty in my face, he doesn't work out with me or eat the things I do anymore.
Most of this has to do with his crazy work schedule, but even when he's home when his mother and I go to the gym, he stays in bed. He also refuses to let me pack him healthy lunches/dinners for work and opts instead for fast food and subs.

I have to say he is the one really keeping me on track. One big thing is we are doing it together. He is not doing it as hardcore as I am (I saw him sneek two poptarts last night.....I've cut out carbs other then veggies) To be honest when I comes to food no one can really help me or discourage me but ME. Its really a big deal for me to find some self controll. What he really helps me with is working out. I have been really sore these past few days. The other night I got home and said that I was too sore to work out. He worked out and I cooked dinner. After we ate he saw that I was feeling down about not working out and he was like just do it you will feel better knowing that you did....and you know what I really did. I need someone to say get up and do it! Every now and then. Its way to easy to sit on the couch and stay there.

But yeah maybe see if he would like to join you for some of your workouts. Maybe he will get into it too! Only thing I warn you of is men loose weight WAY quicker then women do and sometimes that's a bit fustraiting to me.

I'm currently single but my last boyfriend made fun of me when I ate healthy. I never told him that I count calories but he would not have supported it.

Maybe thats why it didn't last, he was great  some ways but couldn't support me in some very important ways.

Your husband sounds EXACTLY like my boyfriend.  In fact, he made fun of me when I started counting calories and logging exercise!  If I picked up and item at the grocery store, he'd mock me, saying, "Are you sure you can eat that?"  He'd say the same thing if I decided to have dessert or an extra slice of pizza. 

I think he's starting to appreciate my efforts now... especially now that he's noticing his own weight gain.  It hasn't been much, but he's been about 135 lbs most of his life and now that he's actually filling out... well, it's bothering him.  However, he refuses to exercise or change his eating habits!

Just remember that you're getting and staying fit for your OWN benefit.  It's nice when our S/O appreciates our weight loss / fitness efforts, but don't let it become the reason for your gym visits.  (I need to remind myself of this from time to time!)

Keep up the good work!!!!

First of all, it was my boyfriend who helped me see that counting calories would be the best way for me to lose weight, because as much as I "tried," I wasn't losing any without it.  On the other hand, he was adamant, in good boyfriend form, that I did not have to lose weight. He kept that up for a good month or so, and while he didn't actively tempt me, he also took the position that if I wanted to eat healthier and workout more, it was up to me to assert that - he wasn't going to tell me I should eat less or go to the gym more, and if he suggested Taco Bell, it was up to me to say "no."

At some point, I realized I needed more support than that - we talked about it, I told him my starting weight, which I think helped him realize that I really was in need of losing a few pounds, and told him that as much as I loved hearing that I was beautiful and perfect and all that, I really needed him to not suggest pizza every weekend, and I needed him to tell me to go to the gym. So he started calling me every day after work, to make me go. Sure, if I was really exhausted, I would tell him no, but in general, it was really helpful to have that outside push to go. Sometimes I even tried to leave before he called, just so I could prove that I wasn't just doing it because he told me. And now if I ask him if I can have some chocolate, he asks me "how many calories have you had?" If I can fit it in, I have some. If not, I don't.

So yeah, he supports me - because I asked him to, and he's just that great. Although sometimes he still gets confused if he is supposed to give me the nutritionist/trainer answer or the boyfriend answer. Plus he enjoys the skinnier me :)

Oh...wow...my BF does nothing for my efforts.  He is a very big guy(5'10" 350 lbs) and definately needs to lose some weight himself.  But when I try to make healthy dinners, he'll sabotage it by adding salt and butter or gravy or cheese or bacon bits or the dreaded ranch dressing.   He sees me exercising as a waste of time.  He'd rather sit on his you-know-what and be lazy.   He scoffs at me saying "We all die from something."  I must admit it's a real dissappointment to me that he can't see the success I'm starting to see in myself and use it as motivation.  I've been doing the whole calorie counting thing for just a few weeks and already see a difference...not so much weight loss(4 lbs so far) but my skin is better and I just feel better all over. 

I guess this is why we have each other...to be the motivation/support that some of us are lacking.

My wonderful DH has been the most supportive, encouraging, loving, considerate, helpful spouse and cheering section that ANY dieter could ever dream of!

He has not once said anything critical, judgmental, unkind, teasing, unhelpful or unsupportive about my weight, or my weight loss efforts.

He has not complained in any way about our new lifestyle of eating healthier, no junk food in the house, less eating out, more exercising and physical activity.

He has repeatedly and cheerfully bought me new (smaller) clothes as I've lost weight. He doesn't complain when I want to go to 6 different stores to buy 25 different types of food (no matter the cost), nor does he complain when I order various things off the internet.... like yummy low carb bagels!

He has willingly and cheerfully bought me a bicycle, a treadmill, hand weights, and a recumbant exercise bike .... plus all sorts of nifty bike accessories. He even bought himself a bike so he could bike WITH me.

He gives me regular back rubs and foot rubs when I get sore from exercising.

He's great at incentives for weight loss ... jewelry and travel, especially. (My cruise is in 3 weeks!) I should "earn" that trip to Hawaii by the fall!

(happy sigh)

MOLLY

My husband is extremely supportive. He has eaten healthy and been active his entire life. I have not. I was very sick, with a condition that make working out impossible, so she sees how far I have come and really supports that. The problem, however, is that he is so active, and in the military, so he doesn't understand the differences between my maximum effort and his. He thinks that the extreme military diet and workout workout is the way to go, and doesn't understand that I have different limitations that he does. If I hit a plateau, his answer is to lower my calories even more, add another hour to my cardio, and add more stregnth training.  So, I have learned to stop telling him if I am frustrated about trying to lose weight and I have stopped asking for his advice. Aside from that, he is incredible. He notices the changes that I don't see, and always points them out. He points out when I do activities that I couldn't do before, and never judges me if I splurge on some "bad" foods every now and again.

Well...mine is supportive of me going, doesnt mind, but he never wants to talk to me about it or give me words of advice. My mother asks me more questions than he does and sometimes that bothers me because it seems as though he just doesnt care, but when he's pointing out my faults he seemed to care (which he hasnt done in a LONG time since he realized he was hurting my feelings). I have just stopped talking him about things that I do at the gym and such...if he doesnt care enough to listen for 5 minutes or tell me that im doing good then he doesnt deserve to know whats going on.

My fiance is quietly supportive.  He cheers me when I've lost weight and he cheerfully submits to my demands about food (he does most of the cooking, lucky me!).  He is also losing weight, although not as...how to put this...in a less regulated fashion.  He's just kind of losing, since he's eating about like he always did and being more active at work; he's not counting calories specifically or anything like that.  He's also not keeping particularly close track of his weight, so while I'm sure he's lost weight since he started his new job, I don't necessarily know that he's continued to lose the whole time.

I don't resent it, even though he seems to be having an easier time of it; chances are my weight loss will continue steadily for longer than his does.

As far as gym-time is concerned, I guess I'm lucky.  My job is so active (I'm a vet tech) that I don't spend much time at the gym.  Most of my outside-of-work activity is walking the dog and doing heavy housework (we're clearing a bunch of old crap out of our apartment so there's a lot of carrying boxes to the dumpster kind of things).  That will probably need to change eventually - and I'm hoping to rope my fiance into coming with me to the gym.

my boyfriend isnt supportive at all. We fight over it all the time. Sunday we went to fridays, because i refused to go to an italian restaurant he wanted to go to (they had nothing diet appropriate. it was more of a pizza place). He became upset when I ordered a turkey burger, he said its not a meal. I wont order an appetizer, or touch his and he gets angry over that too!

We go to wallgreens and i buy 100 calorie packs, he buys crunch and munch (my weakness). I order steamed chicken and broccoli, he orders lo mein with black bean sauce. he feels i use my diet as an excuse when i dont want to eat the food he wants to eat (can you get more like a 5 year old?). Hes gaining weight as I'm losing weight, and in some ways it feels so good.

he likes the end results of it, and i see it manifested itself physically. but hes not willing to help me when i put in the work to get there.