Dont you hate assumptions

I have been trying to lose the extra 30 lbs that i have been carrying around for the past 2 yrs!!!

My best friend is not very encouraging, whenever i complain to her that i am trying to lose weight or that my medical condition prevents me from losing weight like normal people.

She's always like you dont have to lose weight, who cares, you look OK, just eat whatever you want and enjoy life.

I want her to be encouraging but instead she puts me down or discourages me.

I have lost about 12 lbs in the last 2 months because i have been on a strict diet. Nobody see's the difference because i have a small frame. I dont care if people notice, but my friend is always like you shouldnt wear that it wouldnt look nice on your body or this or that, comments that put me down.

I am 135 lbs on a 5'3  small frame. I get it i am not FIT but its not like i am obese. I dont get it, its not like shes a supermodel, shes overweight or chubby as well.

And, shes always comments  like that wont like nice on you coz ur soo short and it will make you look fatter. I get it that we have an openess but really this happens everytime we talk!!

AND, she is always trying to set me up with Big guys, ohh, and she makes comments like you guys would look soo cute together!!! ALWAYS, it hasnt happened once, it has happened like 5 or 6 tmes in the past 6 months.

I dont know what to do? I havent told her i have lost 10 lbs because i just dont want her knowing that i am losing weight, because she might try to put me down again, by making comments like i dont see it??

I am seriously tired of her harsh insensitive comments!!

I feel your pain. I am short and have a small frame (lucky huh?)

Sometimes people do notice that you are losing weight, but they don't acknowlege it because they are jealous. You have said that you friend isn't a skinny little person, so maybe she is resenting you in a way. It's probably subconciously. She resents you because you can do something she can't. You are losing weight.

 Sometimes it is really hard to deal with. I've been through this myself. I've even had a friend who constantly tried to get me to eat "bad" food all the time when I was with her. She was trying to make sure that we stayed on the same level. if that made sense. 

The way I delt with it was just explaining that I had to do this to make myself healthier/happier/ whatever word fits here. If you don't want to tell her you are losing weight, then don't. It isn't her buisiness to know until you are ready to tell.   

I told one of my friends because I thought she would be supportive (and she was), but I couldn't tell the other (she was so cynical and constantly putting me down). One time I accidently let it slip to her (the cynic) that I lost 5 lbs, and her comment was "really, you seem a bit heavier than normal. Did you check your scale?" yes that was a real comment. It's painful, but I know that I am not doing this for her, I am doing it for me. I will be happy and healthy for myself.

You are not alone. *hugs* 

Hey there!  First and foremost, congrats on your loss!  I understand what you mean totally!  I am 5'3 as well, but I have a medium frame (and wide hips naturally when I'm skinny).  I weigh 162 right now.  I know it can be discouraging when friends say things like that.  I think you should say something to her.  Point out that you appreciate her input, but maybe she could try to be a little bit more sensitive.  Instead of saying I don't think this will fit your body right, say something like, maybe you should try this instead or I don't think that's quite your style, or something.  Either way, without communication the problem is not going to be fixed.  Chances are she is either jealous that you can make the commitment so she's trying to sabotage it (which would mean she's not as good of a friend as you think), or she doesn't realize that the comments she's making are hurting you (and then it's your job to enlighten her).  By the way, you're right, you're not obese by any means at all.  You didn't mention how old you are, but in the adult BMI calculator you have BMI of 23.9, which is just barely in the normal weight range.  Also on the adult BMI calculator, if you get down to 105 (I'm assuming that was your goal because you said you have 30 extra pounds and also that you were 135), your BMI would be 18.6, which is just barely still in the normal weight range.  If I were you I would do cardio to lose a little to get more into the normal weight range, and then do toning so you have more definition in the areas you still don't like.  Anyway, message me if you need to talk more!  Have a good night!

Maybe you should try to take some space from her. You don't want to surround yourself with people who are that unsupportive. It will make losing the weight that much harder. you boviously don't have to end your friendship, just distance yourself a bit and if she gets curious as to why you're not hanging out with her as much, that might be the perfect opening for conversation.

sese your friend sounds so annoying and I feel your pain. Yeah don't tell her you lost weight! You don't have to share that with her. Don't even talk to her about diets or your body image ...she clearly hears you talk about your weight then jumps to stupid conclusions.

You said you're 5'3 135pounds so you certainly are not overweight and it sounds to me like you are getting even thinner! Just keep up the excellent weight loss! GREAT JOB!! Don't mind your friend, maybe she is a tab jealous and for all you know maybe she has noticed your weight loss and wishes she could stick to losing a few pounds. But of course people who are jealous never hand out compliments or have anything nice to say ...they only have their little passive-aggessive rude remarks so they feel better about their lack of weight loss success.

Now that you know what you can expect from her don't ever talk to her about your weight or diets again and if she is obnoxious enough to ever raise the subject just make like you didn't hear her....sometimes silence says all that needs to be said.

And congrats on your weight loss!!

Have you tried talking to your friend about your issues with her attitude towards your weight?  Its great to say that you just turn a blind eye and ignore her, but that doesn't make the problem go away.

While I agree in the thinking that she might be jelous, I'm not sure ignoring is the best solution here. 

People with personal self esteem issues will often try and bring themselves up by bringing other people down.  It could be that she notices your weight loss and is jelous, or jelous that you have the drive to do something about it while she doesn't.  There are plenty of reasons why she could be doing this.

But she could also be doing this without really knowing how it is effecting you.  My brother was the same way.  He would be putting down people to bring himself up.  He was up for a promotion at work and they wanted him to look into this issue before they promoted him.  He had no real clue that he was doing it.

Sit her down and tell her how you feel.  Ask her why she does it.  You might be surprised at her response.  I'm guessing that she doesn't realize what she's doing to you.  She might think she's helping, or she might be unconsiously sabotaging you.  You need to ask her.

I am in the same boat 5'3 135, and hey that is considered in the healthy weight range but it doesn't mean you feel comfortable in your skin. Congrats on losing 10 pounds! That is tough for us shorties. Keep up the good work you will reach your goal and your friend will notice.

I know how tough it is when you are the only one trying to make improvements. All of my friends are happy with their bodies and lifestyle so when I need the help and encouragement, sometimes I dont get it. But hey thats what CC is for!

Stay strong and remember you dont have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.

I still have 15ish pounds to go!

Jealousy is definitely in play here.

In this world of being afraid to say what's on your mind, you need to find the energy to rise up and tell your friend what is bothering you.   Nothing good will come from letting this stir up anymore.   You need the support of your friends and if she's going to be super critical, then you don't need her around.

I know the feeling. 

I know you care for your friend but it's soundling like you can no longer enjoy her company because she's always putting you down.  I don't care what you've been through or how long you've been friends...  Real friends are supportive and don't put you down all the time.  Also, real friends would realize that this means a lot to you to lose the extra pounds you've got, especially for being a shorter person.  I'm not trying to say that she isn't a real friend, but if she were my friend, I would put her back in her place. 

I would sit her down and explain that her negativity is a real downer and that right now you're trying to make changes in your life and you need her support.  If she still keeps up with the negative stuff.. interrupt her, give her a firm look and tell her to knock it off or you will leave (if you are at her house).  If you guys are out with friends and she starts in again, just make an excuse to leave.  Pretty soon she'll get the hint.

I'm sorry - but I honestly think you should tell her point blank to knock it off or you can no longer be her friend.  If she really cares for you she would support you and encourage you.  Perhaps you could lead her by example if she could stand to lose a few pounds too.  Maybe when she starts in you could suggest she do this with you.  Perhaps she's just jealous that you're doing it and she cant/wont or feels like she cant.

Good luck and take care of YOU! :)

*hugs*

congrat on the weight loss! Good to see ppl are having progress! Keep it up!

On your friend part, yeh girls are jealous animal. I can tell she's just jealous because you're losing and she's still chubby. She's probably dieting secretly because of watching your success! LOL..yeh....my friend is fatter than me and she would say I'm crazy when I eat a sandwich for lunch and stuff...and she would say sth like "if you lose weight then you're lose the only thing that's attractive on your body - your big boobs". And I was ike....eh..thx...

Well, I'm pretty sure they don't mean it, but some girls can't bear other ppl's success. I would ignore her comments, keep focusing on my healty diet and execising...and if you two are truly good friends, encourage her to start losing weight as well! Nothing's better than having a motivation partner.

First of all, as others have said, congrats!

Speaking from experience, I think it may be jealousy or reesentment. My friend started weight watchers and i would try to encourage her to eat the same as me. I think I was doing it to make myself feel better about eating a large meal from mcdonalds, while she ate something small. Once i realized i wasnt getting any skinnier, i stopped and had to look in the mirror. She looks great and i wish I had her discipline. So dont let your friend get you down! We know you look fab, and so do you.  And I also know what its like to be a shorty-im 5 foot even...and its so hard to lose those 10 lbs! Congrats again!

congrats on your commitment so far

I have had the same problem with a negative  freind, eventually she did admit she was jealouse and we had a good cry and a heart to heart. but she continued the belittling remarks and soon i was avoiding her and felt stressed at the thought of running into her. if i mentioned anything she would pull the "your being too sensative" or "I was just joking" but i knew what was really going on and after a while i couldnt take it anymore i am much healthier without her but it was very painful

do what you can, be honest and talk to her about your feelings but if it continues you may have to take care of ourself first and distance yourself a bit from this person.