Don't know what to do anymore :(

I am having a really hard time finding ANY motivation to do this weight loss thing.  I have done in all the wrong way before and gained it all back AGAIN and I just can't seem to get moving.  I can't get motivated to go to the gym, or to eat right, or to even think about losing weight.  I don't know why this time I can't gear myself up - and I just don't know what to do anymore.  I can't keep gaining weight - my clothes don't fit as it is.  I'm just at a loss.  I just want to crawl into a hole and cry.

So cry and throw a fit and feel sorry for yourself, seriously.  We all need to do it sometimes.  Feeling hopeless and miserable and self loathing.  It's okay to feel like poo and frustrated and PO'd.  I usually cry and throw a fit in the shower.  But when I am done I am better, and I can begin again.  I write in my journal and I am good.

I think motivation comes from self love.  Feeling that you are worth taking care of.  For me it was: I want to be able to fit into clothes that dont chafe, squeeze, or roll.  I want to be fit and not feel out of breath when taking the stairs.  I dont want to have to avoid things because I am worried that I will be embarrassed or cant do them.  Like will my butt fit in an airplane seat, will I see someone who last saw me when I was thin.  I dont want breast cancer.  My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last year.  Hers was estrogen fed.  Estrogen is produced by excess fat.  I want to wear cute clothes.  The list goes on. 

Another motivator, when you do it right it's not as hard as you think.  The challenge is consistancy and balance, and staying on the damn horse.  I've done more drastic (hello protein bars and shakes) diets that worked great but I couldn't maintain.  Now I eat whatever I want but try to stay under 1800 a day.  It's hard to always be good and keep track, and I have fallen off a lot- but I just keep coming back to it.  What do I have to lose except hopefully some weight. 

And that is the final reason.  What do you have to lose?  Is not eating the Big Mac attack (or whatever your poison) everyday going to ruin your day?  And so what if you go out one day and go calorie wild?  Big deal, just do better the next day.  Make some little goals for yourself, with some big rewards. 

You deserve it right?

Kate - The good thing is that you're motivated to post on here and get some help and suggestions!  That is a great first step, trust me.  I have problems with my motivation too - meaning it sometimes goes out the window whenever I see food that I really want to eat.  It's hard to restrict yourself and I hate it...but it is a necessary evil if you want to be healthy.  I recently gained a bunch of weight (over the summer) and now I'm trying to get it off.  Some days I'm really motivated and others I want to eat everything in sight.  You'll get to a point where you just can't take it anymore and then you'll be motivated.  I know you'll come through this.  :)

Thanks for the responses!  I do appreciate it.  I know that once I get fed up I'll just give and have to do it, at least I thought.  That's what got me last year.  I just couldn't take it anymore.  This time around, I just don't feel that way.  And I can't shake this feeling.  I'm going on vacation next week for a week so that doesn't help much.

I think you're looking at weight-loss as a big scary all-or-nothing thing.    You're desperate for  that weight to go NOW!!  But it's so HARD!!!  It's so DIFFICULT!!!  Gyms!!! Counting calories!!!!  Punishment!!! Commitment!!!!  Deprivation!!!  Agony!!!  No wonder you don't fancy doing it :-)

So don't try doing everything at once.   Take it gently and tackle the bad habits one at a time.   If all you do Week 1 is decide to have a healthy breakfast each day and get 5-a-day fruit and veggies you'll be in a much better position than where you are now.   Week 2 you could maybe take a walk each day... (why does everyone think 'weight-loss' means going to the gym?)

Making small improvements steadily is much easier to manage and a 100 x less scary.  Best of luck

gi-jane, I know you are so right.  I am a perfectionist, so I feel like I need to do it all right all at once.  I've just been through this so many times before, I'm just sick of being overweight, or on a diet or whatever.  I wish I never started this thing ever.

Absolutely don't eat the elephant. Take it one step at a time. The more overwhelmed you get the less likely you'll be to stick with it. So just make small changes over time that you can stick with over time.

Take a tip.... never be on a diet.  Diets are, almost by definition, miserable temporary things...  The scale hits the right number, you heave a sigh of relief... you junk the 'diet', order a pizza and you balloon right back to square 1.  Hello yoyo!!!

Instead make your lifestyle gradually healthier all round out of choice.  Be more active at every opportunity, rather than confining 'exercise' to some artificial time and place.  Eat healthily and eat well because you enjoy it rather than simply as a means to an end.  Be conscious of portion-sizes but don't obsess about calories.   Make time in this lifestyle to smell the roses & have some fun.... not adhering to something so dogmatic and rigid that you can't socialise without feeling guilty.  And above all, make it a lifestyle that gives you pleasure, fits your tastes & your schedule..... because then you'll genuinely want to do it for as long as you live.   And then you've cracked it.

Keep smiling... it's not over until they're nailing down the lid.  Tomorrow's chance for a fresh start and a new perspective. 

I agree with the advice above.  one other thing that has helped me stay focused is to list and examine the reasons i am losing weight.  actually, i threw a total fit, and a good friend started listing my reasons for me... but it has helped.  i am doing this for a host of reasons. some are superficial, but most are not.  they are things that i really value and am willing to work for.  it helps me to see that the little things i do today ( and little things are enough... i appreciate the elephant comment) are working towards overall rewards that i really do value. 

Hello, everyone has giving you great advice. We have all yo-yo'd in the past, and we just have to keep on putting up a great fight to stay in control.

1. Cut the word diet, and add life style change.

2. Take your time, and take baby steps.

3. Log your eating habits first, watch your intake.

4. Cut small things away, like coke, cookies, or chips.

5. Add mini workouts in, push for a 10 min to 15 min walk, and feel how good it makes you feel. Just those few mins will have you push for more.

6. Set up mini goals, and reward your self as you hit them.

Somewhere down the line- it's all going to click with you once again, and you will be in it to win it like the rest of us. Everyone is right, and they all have giving you some damn good advice. The best step you made so far is sharing your problem with us, and asking for advice. You are not a lost cause. Just run your race, and do your best.

:) Take care :)

Thanks everyone for your support.  I stayed home from work this morning from work and went to the gym!!  Of course it felt great!  Its a long journey still and I guess this is a step.  The only thing that's discouraging is that I've done all this before.  I've taken the first step before.  I've put in sweat, blood and tears and have lost the weight in the past.  Just thinking about the long way ahead is making me depressed.  I just hate being at this weight SO MUCH that I just want it gone.  Grr.

Kate, that sounds great. I'm in the background cheering for ya, and I know you can do what ever you set your mind to. I wish you nothing but the best, and this is your year girl, and you can do it. Just go for what you know, and keep at it until you reach it. You are going to take the weight off. Working out does feel so good once you get started. Push yourself a little at a time, and do your best. Run your race.

Take care :)

Kate,

Take time out and write our your feelings on paper. Investigate why you are not accomplishing your achievements as to going to the gym (what are you feeling when you are unmotivated)? With eating (are you emotionally upset, anxious about something, losing control about something, stressed)?

Take time to find out what is the cause to all of this, rather than getting frustrated and hating yourself. You have to find these answers within yourself, what is the real issue. I used to be on weight watchers and did great, then I got lazy with counting the points and plugging in the numbers of my activities. I found this site which there are no restrictions, but to monitor calorie intake and exercise. So i joined today on here to start from scratch as I too have gained weight too and need to get moving. I'm glad you wrote us for help, we are your support system on here and trust me you are not alone. Think about what is happening in your life and what changes you want to make, start from the basics you will get there.