Don't know what to do!

I am so depressed these days ive overdosed 4 times ive been on life support and all...I just dont know what to do anymore I dont want to live and I go to a day hospital i get counciling everyday! But yet I am still depressed..and I am on medicine for my depression and mood. I have like 15 different diagnosis..ugh I am sorry I am rambling on just needed to talk.

Jess

First of all do you see yourself as a wicked girl? What does that mean or is it at face value? You need to view yourself positively you are one of a kind there is only one like you, my God says so. You are wonderfully made my God says that too. I beleive it to be so too. I have been where you are at least overdosing on pills and not wanting to live, it is a hard place to be, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. First meet with your psychiatrist or doctor whoever is prescribing the meds and tell them everything going on to figure out a proper diagnoses so they can properly medicate you that is half the battle. I was misdiagnosed for years and in and out of mental hospitals I went. Now I am properly diagnosed and treated I am stable I am doing fine. Life still isn't easy but it has joys and disappointments but I can deal with the disappointments to live for the joys that are so worth living. I know where you are nothing is probably joyful right now but please hang on and give it time and effort, also I will pray for you right now.ok if you need to talk I am here for you, good luck and God bless.

Hi wicked...

Have you expressed your exact feelings to your counselor? You really need to. We here on the forums are not clinical experts but we can be here to support you.

I feel your pain. I have been there before. Are you taking your meds by the book? Have you missed any doses? Perhaps you are on the wrong medication. It seems like it took forever for me to find the perfect combination of meds.

I would urge you to speak to your counselor, perhaps even show her this page so that she completely understands how you are feeling.

Those few words above say a lot.

I hope you are feeling better soon..

Hi,

I was in a day program in June, and honestly it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I think the point of it is to dig up all the most negative thoughts you have about yourself, and it really sucks and it hurts. BUT hopefully when it's over it you understand your own issues and which thoughts really upset you better, and you can respond to them better. I can't say I'm cured, but I do feel a lot better than I did when I went in (and while I was there).

So the point is, day programs and intensive treatments DO SUCK. It's not just you, it's kind of how these programs seem to work. They don't make you feel better, they make you feel worse. Stick it out, it will get better, it certainly CAN get better.

Best wishes

So true!

I was never in a program but ahve recently sought counseling. everytime I go and see him I feel like garbage afterwards. Absolutely miserable but when the sadness, guilt and anger starts to clear I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted. I have only been in counseling for three months now but already I am learning how to deal with my emotions as they some and I am finally for once in my life recgbizing WHAT my feelings are.

Wicked stick with it! Although it is hard and it sucks facing your problems you will get better and start feeling good about yourself again!

I am a cutter and haven't done it since I came clean about it a month ago. That may not seem like a long time but for me it is and in all honesty I never even realized it was a problem until I said it out loud to someone else and he helped me understand why I do it. I don't know if my one time session about cutting will stop me from ever doing it again but I am going to keep talking about it until the urge goes away and I have faith that if you keep at it you're feelings of suicide and sadness and despair will eventually melt away.

Thank u all so much for replying its helped! And I am going to keep working at dealing with my problems!

I have been there with you.  I have overdosed and other thinks to myself many many times.  I to have been hospitalized more times then you can count.  All I can say is please don't give up.  I have been battleing this depression for a very long time.  I have been on every medication combo that you can think of.  Finally my dr. and I have come upon a trio of meds.  Wellibtrin XL, Abilify, and beleive it or not ritalin.  I started this about a year and half ago and for the most part I am doing great.  I still have days when I am down, but I am having more good days then bad now.  The suicide thoughts are gone.  I do however still see my therapist once a week.  That helps.  I also have avery good support system at home.  That is important to.  I carry with me an emergency list of people that I can contact when things start spiraling out of control and I haven't had to use it all within the last year.  Good Luck to you. 

Someone who cares, Karen