"I don't like skinny girls, BUT..."

OK, this is what really has me down lately. My boyfriend (and plenty of other guys also) always claim that they don't like skinny girls, and there have been times when I ask my boyfriend, "Oh, do you think she's pretty?" and he'll be like, "ugh, no, she's disgustingly skinny. Maybe if she gained some weight."

Now, the thing that I don't understand is.. I KNOW that I am not asking him about girls who are seriously underweight and emaciated or anything or even size zeroes, they are just on the lighter end and probably around sizes 2-8. So what I don't understand is... how can these guys who CLAIM not to like skinny girls still find celebrities and models attractive, who are pretty much GUARANTEED to be sizes 0-6 because of their career? How can they like sizes 0-6 if they don't like girls who are skinny?!!

I really hope that someone can explain this to me, I am incredibly hurt and confused by this...

Because celebs have things like breast implants and hair extensions, and don't look like the average skinny girl on the street.  Not to mention when we see celebs in mags and movies, they are digitaly enhanced.  **Also, keep in mind...men LIE. Fact of life.  Look up big fat liar in the thesaurus and an alternate word will be "Man".  

It's like when we say we don't like men with big muscles....

It's ok when men start to bald....

Size doesn't matter honey......

Wow... looks like we lie to :O

Maybe he's trying to not hurt you because he thinks (knows?) you'd be jealous if he said he find them attractive?

I once had a guy tell me that he liked my bigger rear 'cause he liked girls with "pow" in the back.  To each his own.  So maybe they are telling the truth.  And maybe they like the stars simply for the "star factor" ya know?

But then again, how do you know when a man is lying?  His lips are moving.  LOL!!! So maybe, as plume said, he didn't want to say yes for fear of you getting mad at him.

Either way, he's with you, right? Try not to worry about it too much. ((HUGS))

You have to remeber that men are.... Ugh... men.  They dont think into these things too much.  Beer, Steak and Boobs...oh, and monkeys, they all love monkeys for some reason......

Are you talking REAL monkeys or spanking the...never mind! 

You forgot sports.  Whatever you do, don't interrupt "the game" whatever it may be!!!

LMFAO!  I forgot about their obsessive compulsive need to smack the monkey around!  I was talking about REAL monkeys!  Don't believe me? Watch your man's face light up when one comes on TV.   Ahhh...yes, sports.... Sports are the reason I am sitting here right now.  The Yankees are playing, my husband is more interested in Derek Jeter than me, I could stand in front of the TV naked and he would prob ask me to scoot over (Unless I had a Monkey on my shoulder and I was holding steak, then he'd prob ask me if I could grab him a beer to wash it down)

Thanks everyone but I don't think that he is lying because he knows I'd be jealous.. because if he does happen to like someone he WILL tell me... also he's not really the typical "man"... I actually find people who are considered "manly" to be really UNattractive...

ok, for example, I DO NOT find guys with huge muscles attractive. My boyfriend is 6'1" and 110lbs (very underweight I know,) and that is what I find attractive. I have NEVER found a guy who was muscular attractive.

So I don't understand why... my boyfriend... who NEVER finds girls who are above a size 6 attractive... can find me attractive at all at a size 12 and above...

Yea, they are probably just being nice and saying things to make you feel better. Too skinny is bad (but they have to be really skinny for that to start being un-attractive).... so unless you were pointing and asking about obvious skeletons, they were padding their answers.

I thing muscular men are unattractive too. A little bit of toned muscle is nice, but buldging six pack-tank armed men are so nasty looking. It reminds me of a beetle or something...

It's interesting we've only had one guy on here, but I've had similar convo's with my DH. He definetly has a taste for a certain type of woman - and it's a skinny/lanky type, with much smaller chest than I have, long dark hair (mine's short and blonde), dark eyes (mine are blue). Sigh...

But, like your bf, if I point to a certain skinny woman of such description, and ask him if she's attractive, this is what happens: he checks her up and down. He studies her much more closely than he would if it was just a passing glance of appreciation.

THEN, he says, "Nah... her butt's too flat." Or her nose is too big. Or her elbows are too elbowey. Or she laughs too loud. Or... SOMETHING!

My take?? When his eyes are cruising and a pretty woman comes into his field of vision, he looks quickly and gets an overall view. But ask him to focus a little harder, and all he ends up seeing are flaws!!

I really don't think he's merely lying to be polite to me. Heck, he married me... and I'm not stick-skinny, with long legs, long brown hair and eyes!

I really *am* his type. I know I am... cuz I look very much like his mom.... everyone of his brothers all married blonde-haired blue-eyed women, with curves, just like his mom. :-)

The other type of woman? Just an occasional fantasy. No threat at all.

As an image in a magazince a skinny girl may be attractive, but as a partner in real life men are hard-wired by nature to like a girl with a more curvaceous figure.  There is a big disconnect between what regular men find desirable, which would be a figure like Mariah Carey's, and what the fashion industry (which is controlled mostly by men with little sexual interest in women) tells us is hot. - someone like Kate Moss (not hot!).

 

Of course there is individual preference - a few guys may like really skinny girls and a few may like quite heavy girls, but most guys like a girl with some curves - not really fat, and not rail-thin - healthy.   

 

Ahh.

My ex or current or whatever we are is the same.

he thinks I'm my sexiest at 185, which to me means he must be insane. Seriously, about a year back we started talking again I was a size 15 and last time we saw each other I had been a size six. When we started seeing eachother again he started going on about how why was I ever thin and I look so good. Haha.

I guess it's because women on tv that are skinny, like modles and stuff, are normally made into sex objects.

He said he finds lots of girls appealing, just prefers curier ones.

Which reminds me. Sometimes he says the skinny girls on TV with rib cages showing are sexy even if he hates that jsut to get me irritated.

Haha.

So, I say the buff guys are sexy to make him jealous. (:

manicmondays: thanks.. I think you probably made me feel the best about the situation by saying that "model types" are more like sex objects... I'm still a little sad that I can't be loved AND be considered a sex object... but I suppose that I would rather take love over the other.. so thank you so much. 

I think there's a difference between "TV people" and "real people."
What I mean is, people have no point of reference when they look at photos, movies, or TV, so it's almost like another dimension entirely- another state of reality, one that doesn't really count in real life.

One sees a photo where the person in it has tons of makeup on, has been styled, waxed, taped, Botoxed, and Restylaned into place. On top of that, Auntie Airbrush and Uncle PhotoShop have made sure that everything is perfect.

But considering that those women in the photos and movies are wearing pounds of concealer, insane raccoon style eyeliner, greasepaint, and that the camera adds a good ten pounds, your boyfriend might well NOT find Keira Knightly attractive in the flesh. Seriously. Models looks a bit weird in person. I saw Christie Turlington in the flesh once and she looked downright BIZARRE.

The camera provides a certain amount of camoflage. It's like trying to judge an actor's height. I don't think Tom Cruise looks short on film but he is. I never knew that Julia Child was 6' 2" but she was. There's something about film that sends perspective and reality right out the window.

But in the flesh, I doubt any of those people would posess the same mystique.
 

my ex always told me that he didn't like "skinny girls" and that he was happy that i had some bootie and a little buddha belly (that's actually what he called it)...he always said i was perfect and that he could never be attracted to someone without curves after me.

well...lo and behold, after we broke up, he started dating a girl who was 5'9" and STICK THIN...i saw her at a concert; no butt or boobs...washboard flat stomach...i was like....YOU LIAR!!!!!

well, can't speak to anyone's specific bf, but... a lot of men will say whatever they think has the best odds of getting them into your pants...

:)

which means, they DO find you attractive

and most likely, they also find many other women (with boobs) attractive also

hope I'm not revealing a big secret here  ::giggle::

Gosh, I've answered this type of thread.. I don't even remember how many sorts of times.

I could ask.. why is another girl who he's not seeing so much of a threat that you have to ask "is she prettier than me?" Guys aren't dumb. We know that "Is she pretty?" is REALLY Women asking "Is she prettier than me?"

All women, of course. Because no women is ever different. They all fall neatly into a specific set of patterns. (/sarcasm)

I could mention that Men do lie (women often make them by asking unfair questions and having unfair expectations - such as.. men will Look at them and them alone. Not go home with. Look.) when we know we have to.

I could suggest that it isn't a lie at all, and that everyone has different looks. I, too, like a woman with some fat on her.

I could mention that there IS a difference between a woman a man might Lust over and the one he's going home with. A HUGE difference.

I could mention alot of things.

But I've said it all before, so I won't.

Another thing to consider is that men are hard wired to reproduce.  Studies have shown that curvy, healthy weight women are considered to be more fertile than skinny, underweight women.  (think child-bearing hips) Therefore, while a man might look at a skinny women, the majority will seek out and have relationships with healthy women. 

In my experience, the men I know have always complimented me when I have a few pounds on my frame.  There was a time when I was skinny and I continually received comments about how I had no butt and how unattractive protruding bones are.  So I have to say, real men are attracted to real women. 

First of all...not all men lie.  My male friends don't lie and my boyfriend doesn't lie.  Come to think of it..neither does my dad or my brother.  Maybe it's just the people I surround myself with.

Second of all.....relax.  Your boyfriend is with YOU right?  I mean, he's not with some other chick that's bigger, smaller, taller, shorter, different complexion, hair color than you right?  

As humans we are all attracted to different kinds of people.  My boyfriend is terribly skinny and I love him and find him to be the hottest thing I ever laid eyes on.  His friend (also our roomate) is buff (not overly so) and in shape and could probably twirl all 141 pounds of me around with a single hand....that's the stereotype of what girls like, right?  But guess what?  I'm not attracted to him.  Not a single bit.

It's just the way it is...skinny guys are not normally a turn on for me...but...my boyfriend is, and if he were to gain weight/lose weight, that wouldn't change.  When my boyfriend met me, I was a size 2...a freakin' 2.  I'm now a size 10-12...doesn't mean he's any less attracted to me.  Every night I get to hear how "hot" I am....I don't believe it...but he does, and that's all that matters.

I'm sure the same can be said for your boyfriend...I mean, he's with YOU, right? 

Women find other women attractive also at least I do.............I will tell you I think skinny women are pretty as long as they have a booty and some boobs if its just straight down built like a 12 yr old boy I dont find that attractive in the least. It all comes down to how someone is dress and how they carry themselves in order to be attractive its not always based on size or shape........You can have a 200plus pound woman but if she is nicely dressed and looking all hot I will think she is more pretty than some thin woman dressed in old sweats with no hair done and etc. Or vice versa...........I weigh 179 and im 5 f 5 and still get people checking me out and hitting on me its all in how you work it baby!