Don’t Be a Stranger: Support Means Weight Loss Results
Loneliness is often one of the by-products of trying to lose weight. Either you’re intentionally separating yourself from a group of people who may have supported bad eating habits, or you’re abandoning people who have humiliated you about your weight. It could also be that being overweight has made you less sociable in general, but regardless of the reason, seeking support while trying to lose weight has been proven to boost results. While self-help tools like tracking your progress, and finding calorie counts is important, the support you need to overcome challenges should come from people you can relate to. Here’s what to look for.
Forums
You need an outlet to say what you feel and share your goals. Whether it’s an online forum, or a weekly call to a friend, find a way to express yourself and the ups and downs of your weight loss journey. It is not enough to journal, though if you don’t reach out to someone, writing down your thoughts can be helpful. There are also weight loss meet-up groups that can provide a platform for you. Last, there are retreats for weight loss hopefuls that not only offer time to converse, but also reflection, and relaxation that will help relieve stress and create the sense of community you need.
Diet and Exercise Buddies
While talking about it is necessary, sometimes taking action with a buddy makes losing weight easier. Choose someone who is on the same page in regards to how to lose the weight, and someone who is positive about the process. Commit to a specific time to exercise or choose a day to go over meal plans to keep the fire burning. Make it fun by rewarding each other and sharing triumphs. If someone falls off, come up with an agreed upon way to get back on track, or if your partner really does give up, thank them for the support they’ve given, and find a new buddy sooner rather than later.
Expert Advice
It may seem that losing weight is about knowing how to do it, but knowledge without practical advice and application is useless. Whether it’s a virtual seminar, a health and fitness expo, or a weight loss panel, find events that will put you in front of people whose career it is to help people get healthy. Searching the internet alone will not help you realize the experience and breadth of knowledge that professionals have. Whether it’s a registered dietitian, nutritionist, personal trainer, or even your physician, ask for advice on how you can personally achieve your goals and help them help you find a diet and exercise program that suits your needs.
The Combination
While individual modes of support are good, combining them will give you a balanced system that will help you long term. When one fails, the other two are there to keep you on track. If one suggests certain advice, you can look to the other two to corroborate or practice what you have learned. While so many people will tell you you’re not alone in trying to lose weight, it is up to you to surround yourself with the tools to get you where you want to be. Besides eating right and exercising smart, getting support may be the missing piece to your weight loss puzzle.
Your thoughts...
What kind of support has been most helpful while losing and maintaining your weight?
Comments
I visited a dozen or more websites for info on BMI, target weights, nutrition, calorie content of foods, etc. Calorie Count is the best site for me because it has most of the information I need ans the daily blogs are informative and make me aware of novel approaches to weight loss that other people have used successfully. The added bonus is the interaction of folks around the world who are all focused on their weight loss. Working 3 jobs, 6 days a week, makes it impossible to join a group for support, but CC is open 24/7, 365, whenever I have the need to connect. Thanks CC! And thanks to all the people who share their stories and listen to mine :-)
I'm 45 and I'm waking up every morning at 5 am and doing a walk run for three miles(45 min) 6 days a week and doing the DVD Sherd Juliann 5 days a week, I'm eating 1300 to 1700 calories a day this is my seven week, I'm feeling good but that's it.....I feel like no toning, no weight loss, nothing is happening. Am I excepting a body change to soon? How much more do I have to put in on exercising I feel like if I put in any more time I'll quite because I will be burned out! And am I eating to much or not enough???? Or is it my age and I'm suppose to be 170lbs and size 12. Am I expecting to much? I'm feeling GREAT and is that all that matters???
If it wasn't for CC and SparkPeople.com, I would have been all alone in this journey. My family and friends don't "get it" and I have no support close at hand. Everyone I know still drinks too much booze, eats crap and smokes cigarettes. These people have been avoiding me because I'm "no fun anymore". If they think "fun" is waking up with a huge hangover and wheezing from chain smoking all night, they can have at it, I'm done with this lifestyle.
Lorbet, I think you should find a weight training program. If you don't add muscle building workouts, you wont burn as much fat as you could. Muscles use energy, (burn fat) while fat......well, just sits there doing nothing. Don't get discouraged, it takes time, being consistant and a whole lot of "want" to get in shape. It's taken me almost 2 yrs. to lose 124 lbs. I'm seeing real definition in my arm and abs.
I am 61 years old and have gained weight (again) All I think about is food! I hate the way I feel, but I can't seem to modify my eating for more than a day. I get so frustrated with all of this. I have started walking or riding a stationary bike almost every day for 30 minutes. It helps emotionally, but doesn't seem to have any effect on my weight. I refuse to buy more fat clothes! I hope that by writing here it will help me move forward.
People around you make losing weight the hardest. Especially if your "girlfriends" are around. I challenge anyone to go into a mall. Find a sociable young group of girls, and usually there's a "fat" one. When you are that "fat" one, in a group of skinny beautiful women your "friends" aren't exactly who you turn to for support. Feeling alone, I find online communities, this one in particular is fantastic. You don't know me, I don' tknow you, we are both "curvy" and want to lose weight. Easy to push each other. Hey you, the person there I don't know, that 5 lbs you lost last week makes you look spectacular! If only people were this awesome in real life :)
Maybe you should find out why you are eating. Being an emotional eater myself, I started to examine my real motives for shoving so much food down my throat. Eating too much is a symptom of some other issues. These changes don't happen over night. Food should nourish the body, not the soul. In my opinion, the whole idea of "comfort foods" is what leads to an unhealthy idea of what food is for. Feeling bad, have a cookie. feeling tired, have a donut, feeling sad, have a beer. Want to celabrate someone's "happy birthday", lets have a pizza party and cake and ice cream. This is why we are getting fatter and fatter as a nation.
kcm989, I completely understand how you feel. I too go through the ups and down of dieting. I feel like I've been on a diet for 20 years. I'll start one diet, stay on it for a few days and give up because it's too hard or I'll cheat one day and out of guilt give up completely. This is the first time I am posting a comment to any site. My little brother in law is getting married in 13 weeks. All my in laws are beautiful and thin, my biggest fear is that I will be the fatest one in the family picture. If I don't lose at least 2 dress sizes to go from size 18 to a 14, I know I will find some excuse to not go to NY from FL for the wedding. I'm tired of staying away from events becasue of my weight. I've lost most of my friends because I've isolated them becasue of my insecurities.
I really feel that this site will help me accomplish my goals. Thanks you guys.
Here's the scoop: whether you have professionals, loyal supporters, high-in-the-sky programs & trainers, you WILL NOT lose weight unless you are committed. Truly committed - rock solid desire. Stop sabotaging yourself. You are responsible about what you put in your mouth. Take the time to make a chart, write your food intake down, and stick to it. Exercise helps if you have a tracking chart too. Be your own best helper.
One thing that has helped me is volunteering at a non-profit organization that helps women with children that are down on their luck and have suffered abuse. It takes the focus off me. In reality, my problems pale in comparison to some of the women in the program. It makes it much easier to stay on my eating and exercise
program when helping others plus when I’m involved I don’t’ think about me. And believe it or not, they give me a lot of support too.
The people who workout at the gym you attend will be the most supportive! They're always giving me tips and are generally positive people!
sha77on: I don't completely agree. I might be mistaken but I perceive your whole attitude as being very extreme. You CAN lose weight starting from a very poor commitment and finding encouragement and company in others. Sometimes enthousiasm comes from here as they make you see and treasure your progress. One can be pushy with oneself all alone and feel strong and triumphant but most can't live their life that way in the long run, it is a very lonely way, and sometimes putting down weight is a long process where superhuman efforts will sooner or later overwhelm us. And that happened to me many times... I put down 10kg several times, and then slowly gained them back, because I didn't understand you have to be gentle with yourself, understand a small restriction and moderate exercise sustained over time are self-friendly and teach you how to put down weight and then keep it there. But it was fundamental to have friends: exercise seems a social and fun time and builds up enthusiasm. Talking it over with a nutritionist/friend helped me not to diverge. And then it was when I finally put down the weight and kept it down naturally. And stopped thinking about food all the time. This change goes much much deeper than the simple maths of less calories + more exercise = less kilograms. Understanding things this way might generate cycle of weight loss and gain with a lot of frustration and guilt in it.
I credit my support group at TOPS for my 47 pound weight loss. My "buddies" keep me on track through the week. The weigh in makes me accountable for my behaviour through the week. I've made some very good friends at TOPS.
I had gained quite a bit of weight after starting an ssri several years ago, combined with the demands of working full time and raising 3 small children. I watched an inspiring documentary with my husband, "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" this made me want to make a change. I cut out all sugar (except fruit) flour, and processed foods. I then found calorie count and found that I needed around 1600 calories a day to reach my goal. My awesome husband also started meeting me during our lunch breaks and we have been walking 2 miles together every day. I love to read the success stories here, they are so motivating. I started at 160 and am now at 149. Before ssris I was about 113, because I am short and have a very small bone frame. The support from this group and my wonderful husband have helped me so much. Thanks guys!
this is for carolyn r...you mentioned, retreats for weight loss hopefuls, could you supply these places for me.
Lorbet, you are doing great! I was at this point too. I was exercising and eating the right amount of calories and nothing. Then after a few months I could see a definite difference. My weight had not changed a lot, but I was able to fit into clothes that I had not been able to wear in a couple of years. You will get there if you continue as you are doing! 
I think we all go through slow periods especially when we are getting closer to our ultimate goal. Sounds like you are doing a lot of exercising so you may want to re-assess your need of calories. For me, CC originally calculated 1800 calories because I was basically a couch potato but I wasn't losing any weight. I took another look at my calories since I had started exercising and found that I lose weight more efficiently when I'm eating 2100 calories. I only exercise 4 to 5 days a week with a 20 brisk walk.
Don't get discouraged. See if eating more doesn't help or talk to a trainer for a re-assessment. Also, don't forget to keep track of inches lost. Sometimes you will see the loss in inches before it shows up on the scale. Hang in there!!!
Ok, it is all about support and accountability. I thought first, all you need is determination. Nope! I hired a life coach just to try if coaches help. It was the best decision ever. Find a club or enter a contest where you will set up a goal and would get a reward. Check out www.burnthefat.com Also, I am pretty sure, neigbors and co-workers would be happy to support your weight loss efforts. Or you can contact me hi@bodyswatforce.com
I am 65, retired and loving it. But when we go away for short periods in our little RV, I stop tracking my eating and exercising. I was doing really well at home for a while, getting regular exercise and doing the food tracking which seems to be essential to any kind of success. When we are at home I can do the necessaries without being mocked and consequently feeling self concious in my efforts (I really love my husband, but in this area of our lives he is most un helpful), but in the little RV there is no privacy so I cave and don't do what I need to do.
Re reading what I've written, it sounds like a whine. I can do better!
Original Post by: lorbetI'm 45 and I'm waking up every morning at 5 am and doing a walk run for three miles(45 min) 6 days a week and doing the DVD Sherd Juliann 5 days a week, I'm eating 1300 to 1700 calories a day this is my seven week, I'm feeling good but that's it.....I feel like no toning, no weight loss, nothing is happening. Am I excepting a body change to soon? How much more do I have to put in on exercising I feel like if I put in any more time I'll quite because I will be burned out! And am I eating to much or not enough???? Or is it my age and I'm suppose to be 170lbs and size 12. Am I expecting to much? I'm feeling GREAT and is that all that matters???
Just yesterday I was on my treadmill, huffing and puffing away, and I thought to myself, "Be grateful you can even BE on a treadmill; so many people can't!" It's great that you're exercising and that you feel good about it; savor that as much as you can!
Keep exercising no matter what. It could be that your metabolism is a bit sluggish and that is why results are slow so far, but if you keep it up your metabolism will improve over time. Before you know it, the weight will be flying off! :D
Original Post by: gplose60kcm989, I completely understand how you feel. I too go through the ups and down of dieting. I feel like I've been on a diet for 20 years. I'll start one diet, stay on it for a few days and give up because it's too hard or I'll cheat one day and out of guilt give up completely. This is the first time I am posting a comment to any site. My little brother in law is getting married in 13 weeks. All my in laws are beautiful and thin, my biggest fear is that I will be the fatest one in the family picture. If I don't lose at least 2 dress sizes to go from size 18 to a 14, I know I will find some excuse to not go to NY from FL for the wedding. I'm tired of staying away from events becasue of my weight. I've lost most of my friends because I've isolated them becasue of my insecurities.
I really feel that this site will help me accomplish my goals. Thanks you guys.
gplose60, in my own experience, having to lose weight to go to an event is one of the WORST reasons to "diet". If you want some advice, you GO to that wedding no matter what, and if you're an 18, BE an 18. Get yourself organized with a healthy weight loss plan and start it TODAY. By the time your brother-in-law has his first baby, you will be leaner and healthier! And, if you stick to it for a year like I did, some of the folks at that future celebration won't recognize you, and they will be calling you by some other name! (True...it happened to ME)
militarywomen
I am in the military and there is a lot of stress to staying in shape.
My last weigh in with the mikitary was so emabarrsing and having to be tapped for your BMI is also.
I weighed in at 158 pounds and now I am currently 134 pounds.
The weigh in was in the month of June. My next weigh with the military will be on Oct 15. I want to drop more pounds by that date. I would like to weigh in at 125 pounds. I had a bad binge last week so Now i am focusing on one day at a time. All your blogs really help me a lot and help me stay on track. I have always struggled with my weight and without a gallballder makes it tough to splurge sometimes. I did start on May 1st at 178 pounds and that was it for me to do something about it. That weigh in was at the doctors office. I almost started crying that day and felt really defeated back then. I had to start changing my thinking about food. I pray a lot and ask God to give me the strength everyday. Jennifer
To gplose60: I'm completely in agreement with what hobbs said. Be the best size 18 you can at the wedding. Be proud and know that you are taking care of yourself. If you can afford it, wear something that makes you look your best as well. I shop at a plus size consignment star in an upscale part of town and find some great buys.
I am new here and I am not sure how to reply to a particular comment. I am trying to reply to lorbet. There are several factors that affect our body change. First, you have to do both cardio and weight training. Does that DVD Shred include weight training? If you are doing just cardio, you burn lots of calories, but you also loose muscle because your body needs energy, and it is easier to get energy out of the muscle then out of the fat. Second, how tall are you. You need to calculate your caloric requirement based on your sex, age, height, weight, and lean body mass. Third, if you are constantly in caloric deficit, your metabolism will slow down. You have to have something called re-feed days, days when you are not in deficit but at the maintenance level. You should have those days every three-four days. E-mail me hi@bodyswatforce.com I think I can help.
Original Post by: lorbetI'm 45 and I'm waking up every morning at 5 am and doing a walk run for three miles(45 min) 6 days a week and doing the DVD Sherd Juliann 5 days a week, I'm eating 1300 to 1700 calories a day this is my seven week, I'm feeling good but that's it.....I feel like no toning, no weight loss, nothing is happening. Am I excepting a body change to soon? How much more do I have to put in on exercising I feel like if I put in any more time I'll quite because I will be burned out! And am I eating to much or not enough???? Or is it my age and I'm suppose to be 170lbs and size 12. Am I expecting to much? I'm feeling GREAT and is that all that matters???
Hi Lorbet,
I'm 47 years old and recently lost about 25 pounds (from 220-195) in less than 2 months following your exact plan ... except I use Charlean Extreme DVD's and I got into cycling / spinning. I use a program similiar to Calorie Count called LoseIt. I entered every thing I ate throughout the day to make sure I stay within my calorie intake (1600 calories). And I also entered the calories burned during exercises.
This my sound a little weird but I do a lot of visualization daily for about 5 - 15 minutes. I visualize myself with the body I desire, the exercise routines, how I'm going to look in the new smaller clothes, and how sexy I'm becoming (for the ladies ...LOL!).
A big plus is picking a workout routine you "enjoy" enough to do everyday and tell others. I tried everything from P90X to Sherd Juliann, including Zumba. I can say I absolutely love Charlene Extreme (it's quick -about 40 minutes a day, it's fun, and it works) and I also love cycling. Since I love both of these exercises, I can do them just for the hell of it even on my exercise days off.
Another big plus was getting a heart rate monitor. This is great tools to use when exercising to count calories burned. I used the heart rate monitor in conjuction with guided cardio exercise music (cardiocoach.com - the best).
Once I started using the heart rate monitor with my cardio workouts (cycling, spinning, running, etc) intensity increased and I had a better accurate count of calories burnied during exercising.
No you are not expecting too much! Keep at it .. add a little visualization .. and keep doing what you are doing ... you may want to challenge yourself a little while exercising. Trust me ... you body will change for as much as you want it or visualize it to be.
I forgot one more important thing ... thrive to drink 2 liters or 64 ounces (about 8 glasses of water daily). This helps to keep you feeling full and properly hydrated for all the cardio exercising (running to the bathroom all day is good exercise). There's a great app called Waterlogged I use to ping me throughout the day to drink water. I drink a big chunk during the morning and it does a good job curbing my appetite. Also make sure the water is cold. I read somewhere that cold water makes the body burn a little calories getting the water to the correct body temperature (you may want to research this).
Original Post by: CoolLocsI forgot one more important thing ... thrive to drink 2 liters or 64 ounces (about 8 glasses of water daily). This helps to keep you feeling full and properly hydrated for all the cardio exercising (running to the bathroom all day is good exercise). There's a great app called Waterlogged I use to ping me throughout the day to drink water. I drink a big chunk during the morning and it does a good job curbing my appetite. Also make sure the water is cold. I read somewhere that cold water makes the body burn a little calories getting the water to the correct body temperature (you may want to research this).
Yes, I've heard that too, but a glass of cold water on an empty stomach = belly ache for me. I have to drink my water at room temperature or warm with some lemon or lime.
I hardcore agree. I hired a personal trainer this time around and while my own determination and commitment has been the main factor in my 25-lb weight loss (so far that is-the first goal is 30 lbs), having him around for accountability and extra motivation has been a priceless help. He's been more than worth every penny. I know that not everyone can afford to do this, and I won't be able to have him forever, so I've also got a couple of co-workers who are gym buddies with me. I've made a major effort to build a good support group, and it's really working.
Original Post by: anitazinhai really like your story Jennifer
To militarywomen/Jennifer:
It's nice to know that there are other military women who fight their weight too. I am in the Royal Canadian Air Force and have been fighting this Battle of the Bulge for about 3 years now. I was in the Infantry 4 years, switched to being a mechanic on F-18s for 6 years, but then I was offered the opportunity to become an officer. I was injured during my officer training and I put on 70 lbs that I have not been able to lose.
I am writing from work right now and I am crying because this is such a hard battle (I'd rather be in Afghanistan than be here scope-locked on my weight). I found Calorie Count earlier this week and I started on Monday because I just got married a month ago, I'm 39, and I really DON'T want to be Fat & Flabby at 40...I'd rather be Fit & Fabulous. My husband (military also) is fighting his weight too. I have never hated myself more than what I do right now, and I'm sick and tired of feeling awful about myself, my body image, and my fitness level.
Best wishes to you Jennifer. May God bless and keep you safe. And best wishes to everyone with your quest to become healthier and happier!
Mary
I can relate and i am 60 it hard to do and if you dont eat right at our age the weight will not come off.
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I have always done much better at losing weight when I joined a group. The accountability to the people and the scale helped me lose 109lbs. I could not have done it alone.