I dont wanna hear about it....

I got so upset with my husband today. I have been working so hard to lose weight and it is very hard for me to control my eating habits. I have been doing better than ever the last few days and my efforts are paying off, I think. Well he sees me losing weight and it inspires him to lose too. (I dont think he wants his gut if I dont have one.)

Thats fine, I like having a hottie husband, but here is where I have a problem. He can go ALL DAY LONG and not eat. He likes to tell me about how he can just lose weight like *snap.* I try to stick to my healthy philosophies I have adopted, and tell him, you know like we could do it together. But he doesnt want to do the healthy thing and he is already losing weight. I know men lose faster, and he is already skinnier than me - why does he have to go losing weight now? I know it is wrong and it should not bother me, but it sooooooo bothers me. And when he tells me he lost this or that I just get so annoyed. He eats like 5 eggs, 5 biscuits, breakfast meat, etc. and whatever else then he just wont eat anything the next day. AHHHH! It is driving me crazy and I dont want to hear about his weightloss anymore.

I know I am being selfish but it is sooo hard for me, I just feel like he is flaunting it around. I told him "it is hard for me" he says - oh - you've lost 12 pounds - its not that hard for you. AHHHH! I worked my butt off mentally trying not to binge eat!!! It was not easy!!!!

Okay, I have vented. Tell me if I am being too unreasonable. Tell the truth - I can take it!

hi

i dont know the man, but he seems like a good caring guy to me. He seems to support your weight loss and stands behind you.

However, from what you wrote, i dont think its very kind for him to flaunt his very rare -and always unhealthy- ability to stuff then starve hiimself. Sooner or later it will catch up with him.

Talk to him, just tell him how you are jealous of the fact he can do that but are glad for him. In turn, ask him to please understand its tough for you and perhaps he can keep the binging habits to himself when you arent around.

LMAO he sounds like my mum! If I haven't eaten since breakfast then she hasnt eaten since tuesday...If I havent eaten since yesterday she hasnt eaten since 1983!!  Drives ya nuts huh...? Well you COULD kill him, chop him, up fry him with onions and eat him..he IS all protien now...lol..or you could focus on the fact he cant give up smoking, drinking what ever..Or you could tune him out and change the subject everytime he starts and remember you  have done really well 12lbs is not to be sneezed at then when it all gets to much come back in here vent with people like us who really really DO understand how hard this is to do!!!

....in the long run....if he is starving himself, he will gain it back (plus some extra) whereas you, losing the healthy way, will be there to give him healthy hints..... 

I dont know what to say! LOL  my hubby is in great shape but he is trying to get more defined....he can workout once a week and look great.  it is annoying wheh they can do whatever and lose and gain muscle.  I would just try to tell hubby his way is making it hard on you because you cant do it that way.  when my hubby lost 25lbs he did it buy just eating raw veggies all day everyday!  I couldnt do for one day!  if you tell your hubby he isnt being good to his body he may come back and say you are just jealous, which wouldnt be good. 

Just try to talk to him about how you feel and that you need his support and you want to do this together as a couple.  Maybe that would help him realize his way is hurting you and Im sure thats the last thing he wants to do.

oh, my goodness, meredith, i know just how you feel. it's taken almost two months for my hubby to recognize that i am doing something right--because the weight is coming off.  it's sooooo frustrating, when we go out for breakfast every sunday morning and he orders the big breakfast w 3 eggs and sausage and ham and bacon and hash browns, and i'm there with my egg beaters and green peppers and tomatoes and onions and dry toast.  oh, he does order his toast "dry" and jokes with the waitress about being on a diet......but i am trying to be strong about it, and he isn't giving me the "look" as much, when i say i don't want appetizers, or dessert, or something.  for years, i was the "party- pooper" if i didn't want to do either of those.    thank goodness, i am cooking a lot more meals at home now, so we don't have to face those awful restaurant menus as much. 

be strong, my dear meredith, be strong.  you will definitely have the longer lasting results, and who knows, maybe one day he will come around, and see what he is doing to himself.  i just hope mine does, before it's too late.  (he is already 60, and i'll be 60 in august.)

meredith, i'm with ya, girlie!  my hubby started this change in eating habits last weekend since he's noticed i have lost 10 lbs in the last month....  and in the first week, he's lost 5lbs....  and has eaten things like that yummy crispy shrimp thingy at TGIF's....  and is STILL losing....   LOL  i don't think you're being selfish, m'dear....  you're being honest with people that know exactly how you feel.... 

Meredith,

I have a big suggestion for you...Go buy the May, Prevention Magazine.  I know it is out here already I picked it up yesterday.  They have an article in there about men.  It is titled "Lose Weight Like a Guy"  It is very interesting to read.  My hubby decided to start working out about the same time I did.   He is lifting heavy weights and jogging and I have noticed he is really starting to bulk up.  The thing is I know he isn't eating healthy.  He eats out every day at lunch and he took his 2 day a week McDonald's habit down to one.  I don't let it bother me.  He eats what the kids eat at night.  Which I am fixing more healthy foods but they don't eat what I eat.  My thoughts are this....and don't get me wrong I never want anything to happen to my husband I love him dearly, but if he wants to choose unhealthy foods and work out to bulk himself up on the outside....His insides will not be as healthy as mine no matter how fit he gets.  He is clogging his artieries...etc.  We know how bad certain foods are for our bodies.  I am going to be healthy on the inside and outside.  My weight loss adventure isn't just about looks.  So just look at it that way.  That is what I do and it pulls me through.

Good luck.  You may even be able to go to Prevention.com and pull that article up.  I am not for sure what they put on their website.  I have been a magazine junkie here lately because for some reason if I sit and read a magazine it takes my mind of the late evening munchies.

Jamie

I think I need all you gals (and guy, sorry) on my friends lists - so funny!  If my husband wants to lose weight, all he has to do is drink a lot of water and he slims down.  When I do that, all it seems to do is keep me in the bathroom all day!  Be strong, do what's right, and make sure you hubby knows that you're not only doing this to lose weight but also to get yourself on a healthy path in life that you want to last forever.  (You can tell him that you want him to be healthy too, but, like Slappy said, make sure it's not at a time in your collective weight loss that he will take it as an expression of jealousy.)

Good luck!

oh i know just how you feel! i watch everything i eat and exercise my butt off everyday! my husband eats anything and everything he wants...none of it healthy! all junk! he drinks nothing but POP all day long! if he just cuts back a little for a day...like one candy bar a night instead of 2 he will drop like 5lbs! it so frustrating! but i'm happy because i lost enough weight that i finally smaller than him...he is is 190 and i'm 182 heehee!

You might remind dear hubbie that men are loaded with muscle and it's muscle that he's losing.   =)   Then...flex a bicep!  hehehe

Just remember that you are lossing it in a healthy way, and it wont come back, whereas your husband is doing it in an unsafe way and his weight will probably flucate a lot.

 my husband is the opposite He goes with to the gym sometime but most the time I have to beg him and he still eats fast food at least 1 meal a day and the rest of the time he eats fried stuff here at home!!! I really have no support here, We live with my mom who brings candy, chips and other stuff in the house and I have been doing so well with avoiding the stuff but it still makes me so mad!!! I told everyone the other day that I was not paying for fast food anymore and that I was gonna be crankie until someone showed me some support. Sorry I guess I went on a tangent. Just tell him it bothers you and if he act like my family just go crazy on him lol just joking.

       &nb sp;               April

hehe...good stuff here, I feel better knowing that I am not just being a brat or something. Thanks for the thoughts everybody.

elin - oh no...60 years old and it is not over??? Not a good sign for me. LOL

mcsero - very good point about muscle, I will have to tell him that the next time he tells me how much he has lost

just_bethy - 1983...LOL

You know, he may have gotten the point yesterday...he did not give me a weight report today, and made sure to show me that he ate ALL of the food I packed for him last night. (None of this, "Oh I didnt feel like eating..."

My boyfriend is a pro athlete and burns off about 4,000 calories a day just by doing his normal spring training routine.. however he eats close to 5,000 a day (im not kidding you about this lol..we've put his daily food into the food log on this site.. its CRAZY)... however if he cuts his calories by like.. 500.. he loses weight.. its SO FRUSTRATING... hes trying to GAIN weight right now (msucle) and everything just comes so easily for him he has the fastest metabolism in the WORLd I think.... AH!!

So i can tottally relate to you and he makes me mad too so dont feel bad lol.. just keep doing what you're doing and try to IGNORE it! =)

Oh, my gosh, husbands! Ok, mine has been losing weight recently -- suddenly on this big diet kick even though I completely blame him for being an enabler our whole marriage and sabotaging any effort I ever made to get him on the fitness band wagon with me. So this new effort of his, at a time when I for the first time have NOT been in the mood to make that same effort -- is REALLY annoying. So tonight he kept showing me the workout routines that his new trainer at his new gym has him doing. It is irritating. Sure, sure, he should be proud. Yeah, yeah, I'm happy for him. :-\   Finally, after putting up with these workout demonstrations every other night or so for months, I said "How come whenever I tried to get you interested in new workout routines so that we could do them together, you never ever showed any interest?" He stopped what he was doing and looked at me like I was crazy and said as his answer "Are YOU a professional trainer??" You know how that statement can really get under your skin -- skinny people never think that fat people could possibly understand how to eat healthy or work out -- ha! I'm sure most of you understand what I mean. I said "Are you kidding? I probably could be if I wanted to -- with everything I've studied." He said "But you're not." And turned away to watch tv. I about wanted to pop him one with a frying pan. I think the jury would have let me off scot free. "He had it comin'!" as they sing in "Chicago".

OR you could just flick him on the forehead and leave the room when he starts bragging again...*whistles innocently*