Don't want to sound Vain but I have a question......

I read about all these women who have lost weight and are feeling better about themselves, real life women.  They said that since they've lost weight they have been noticing men checking them out or whistling at them (married women included!). I can imagine this would make them feel pretty good.  Heres the somewhat Vain part I suppose, ever since losing 90lbs. I have felt more confident even prettier than before, but yet I've never had that I'm married myself but in my whole life I have never had any guys ever look at me (except my husband) so it gets me thinking.......maybe I'm not that good looking or still too "big" for them. I don't know this is probably a stupid question I'm just curious, I think it would boost my confidence majorly if it ever happened.  Anyways just wanted to share. Also another quick question I recently went off my birthcontrol, and I noticed that my face was starting to break out a little again.  I haven't had my acne since I started getting healthy and I thought that going off the pill would be even better, since all the "extra" hormones aren't there.  If my acne comes back I just know i"m going to feel even worse. Thanks for your responses!

Guys notice confidents. If you are confident and comfortable with your body guys will definatly notice and more attention will come your way. :)

Wow, losing 90 pounds is awesome and I'm sure your confidence just shines!  Congratulations on the amazing weight loss! 

Maybe the opposite sex is noticing..you just don't realize it!  I assure you, you will gain more confidence as time goes on and you will definitely be getting the whistles!  I agree with catiesparks21, it will come your way!

Hang in there!  And again, congratulations!

They are looking, trust me. You just aren't noticing. I NEVER thought guys looked at me much even when I was a skinny mini until my boyfriend told me when he got annoyed at a bunch of guys checking me out. I said, "Nobody checks me out!" and he said," They check you out all the time. What are you talking about?" And he's not super jealous, so I guess he's right.

They look, some are just good at hiding it. Have someone walk behind you one day and see if they can catch guys doing the "behind your back look" after you pass.

meagang,

I'm 40 years EDIT (ha that was wishful thinking) I'm 45 lol.  old and about 280 lbs. Honey I can guarantee you they are looking and you are not noticing. LOL I'm laughing because I use to think the same thing. I still have low self esteem where my weight is concerned but over all i'm fairly confident.

I see men checking me out. Are you afraid to give eye contact? I use to turn around when I saw a man coming especially if he was younger and with a friend because I was afraid they would say something like look at that fat cow and to save myself the rejection I just wouldn't pay attention to them.

Some people can be mean that way and yes sometimes I do get an occasional snicker but a lot of the times I get men checking me out or doing a double take.

I bet if you looked around and paid more attention you would notice that they ar actually looking at you. :)

Congrats on so much weight loss..........thats fantastic.

I used to wonder the same thing, when I was heavier and even now. And what I think changes with how I'm feeling that day. I get really bad days about my weight sometimes, even though I'm at a good weight, I'll think so many bad thoughts about myself. I think no one would ever look at me or find me attractive. But when you do start paying attention, you will see that guys are looking. Unfortunately for me I seem to attract middle aged men. Do not understand why. :P Not really a big deal though as I'm engaged. It's a confidence booster to be checked out, but I'm sure that more guys are checking you out than you think. And when you get down on yourself or worried about that, always fall back on what you KNOW TO BE TRUE. Does your husband find you beautiful? You bet! He's not going to lie to you. Take any compliments from him and believe him. My guy says that other guys would notice me, even when it seemed like no one ever would, but when I got over the negative thoughts in my head, I started noticing it happening.

I agree that you're getting checked out and just not noticing it. I'm pretty oblivious myself, but my friends are never shy to point it out!

It's part of their make up, they're checking you out.  Only the adolescent teenagers are potentially thinking negative thoughts.  In general, they're looking and finding something they like, but most are polite enough or socially conditioned to keep it somewhat discreet.

We can't make it too obvious... where's the fun in that? 

Original Post by meagang:

I read about all these women who have lost weight and are feeling better about themselves, real life women.  They said that since they've lost weight they have been noticing men checking them out or whistling at them (married women included!). I can imagine this would make them feel pretty good.  Heres the somewhat Vain part I suppose, ever since losing 90lbs. I have felt more confident even prettier than before, but yet I've never had that I'm married myself but in my whole life I have never had any guys ever look at me (except my husband) so it gets me thinking.......maybe I'm not that good looking or still too "big" for them. I don't know this is probably a stupid question I'm just curious, I think it would boost my confidence majorly if it ever happened.  Anyways just wanted to share. Also another quick question I recently went off my birthcontrol, and I noticed that my face was starting to break out a little again.  I haven't had my acne since I started getting healthy and I thought that going off the pill would be even better, since all the "extra" hormones aren't there.  If my acne comes back I just know i"m going to feel even worse. Thanks for your responses!

I think that the getting checked out part depends on who you are around what you notice and what other vibes you give off.  I tend to give of a don't f*** with me vibe which limits those advances.  As to the birth control pills, all of them decrease acne because they regulate your hormones.  They replace -- not add to the hormones in your system and prevent ovulation which prevents progesterone elevations which are mostly responsible for pms, bloating, acne etc.  That's the short version it is really a lot longer and more complicated but OCP's are not necessarily a bad thing.  And they decrease your risk of ovarian cancer. 

I'm a gal, so I can say objectively, that I think you're quite attractive.

I imagine (since you're married) that when you're out, you aren't "fishing"... i.e. you aren't sending out flirty-type vibes. Therefore, guys are probably noticing you, but not aproaching you.

Great job on your loss! That's amazing, hon. And you look great. Just enjoy you're new body!

I looked at your pics, and ... WOW!  Congratulations.  On top of that, I think you're really pretty.

What's vain?  Me walking around saying to my husband, "Look at my awesome delts/lats/whatevermuscle hon!" as I flex said muscle... which I didn't know even existed before now.

jenningermany: LOL thanks! I do that to my husband too it makes me feel good to show him my muscle definition, haha he just shakes his head and says put them away LOL.  But its nice to show off especially to your hubby ;)

Meagang:  I have to agree!  I looked at your picture and think you are quite pretty!  If I was a guy, I'd check you out for sure. 

It's likely true you don't realize you're being checked out.  I try not to notice if someone is noticing me but my brother (who is gay) likes to tell me that I had just been devoured visually by some guy when we're out.  I think he's nuts but he swears that if I was a cupcake, I'd have been eaten.  LOL!